"Harry Potter" Author Contemplated Suicide
In an interview with Adeel Amini for a student magazine at Edinburgh University, J.K. Rowling revealed that she had once been suicidally depressed.
Rowling, 42, went through a low period in her mid-20's, following her separation from her first husband. She had not yet found fame and fortune with the "Harry Potter" series of books and was a single mother, struggling to make ends meet.
"The thing that made me go for help," said Rowling, "was probably my daughter. She was something that earthed me, grounded me, and I thought, this isn't right, this can't be right, she cannot grow up with me in this state."
Her first attempt at getting help was a failure, however. The substitute doctor who was covering for her regular physician overlooked the signs of her suicidal urges and sent her home with an admonishment to come speak with the practice nurse if she felt "a bit low". "We're talking suicidal thoughts here," said Rowling, "we're not talking about I'm a little bit miserable."
Luckily for Rowling, her regular doctor was more sensitive and called her back into her office and got her into counseling. "She absolutely saved me because I don't think I would have had the guts to go and do it twice."
"I have never been remotely ashamed of having been depressed," added Rowling. "Never. I think I'm abnormally shameless on that account because what's to be ashamed of? I went through a really tough time and I am quite proud that I got out of that."
Photo Credit: Gareth Cattermole / Getty Images
Comments
Speaking as a depressed person, it’s very heartening to hear other people’s stories, especially from successful people. It gives us hope. Kudos to Ms. Rowling for sharing!!!
Ditto*
As a young, divorced, single mother myself who suffers from a form of depression, I’m truly inspired by her story. If she can go on, so can I.
There is a huge difference between feeling a bit low and contemplating suicide. I didn’t really turn my life around until after a suicide attempt. And things actually got worse, for a while. I realize now, attempting suicide was a nearly fatal mistake. I’m still taking daily medication, thirty years later. Depression can be treated successfully, but it does take some time and effort. I’ll always be humbly thankful for each new day and all the blessings in my life.
I am sitting here at my computer just having read this story and I’m feeling all sorts of mixed reactions. I am an enthusiastic Harry Potter fan. I had my first suicide attempt when I was nine, at which point I was started on psychiatric meds which I have been on almost continuously for almost 45 years. When I’ve gone off, I’ve done all right for awhile but eventually got back on them and have been on all kinds of antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds, mood stabilizers and antipsychotics.J.K. Rowling’s depression seems, from her writing, to be largely situational (which doesn’t make it any less important) and I can understand that it would do someone in a similar situation good to realize that this woman has become tremendously successful and happy and is living to see her children grow up. I’m all for inspiration and hope. Lord knows we need hope, especially we depressive and others with psychiatric disabilities. I wonder though is if she’s still on medication for depression? Is she still in counseling? My intuitive guess is that the answer to both questions would be “no”. Of course, I don’t know. Also, I wonder why she is choosing to share this now, after the conclusion of her book series has been completed? Granted, there are a couple more Harry Potter movies yet to come but in between? I wonder if this is another way to keep her name in the news. Just curious and of course I’ll never know and I certainly don’t want to dash anyone’s hopes or speak negatively about someone who has come from being a single parent on welfare to a happily married and successfull (and rich) author. Most people, especially when going through life’s inevitable hard times, will admit that they have contemplated suicide. Of course, they need help with that. But, as someone has commented earlier, there’s a big difference between contemplating it and then realizing that it matters to someone that you care about and have responsibility for and who deserves a mother so they go for help. The substitute doctor obviously missed what was going on and I’m truly glad that her regular doctor recognized her situation for what it was and got her into counseling. Actually, this whole thing has gotten me curious. Did she take antidepressants? If so, is she still taking them? Is she still in counseling or, if she’s not, does she go back if necessary? Did this one incident “cure” her depression? If so, then that’s great. But there is a big difference between an isolated episode of situational depression and the chronic illness that many of us battle day in and day out, trying to find successful combinations of meds, helpful therapies, trying to reduce or discontinue treatment, perhaps being bipolar to various degrees, dealing with related anxieties, trying every new medication that comes out, having to resort to other methods such as ECT, Vegas Nerve Stimulation, even acupuncture (which, by the way, my friend swears by) but still need to keep persevering to stay in the war. These, the battle-weary, the ones desperately reaching out for support, trying to find ways to afford treatment, trying every treatment they find, these are the ones with whom I resonate, the ones given multiple diagnoses often having the real diagnosis delayed or missed, whose families walk away without trying to understand, the ones who have additional difficulties with various addictions, dissociation, fears, panic and constant anxiety, we are the ones that continue the struggle and it is with gladness that I can rejoice for and with J. K. Rowling for her happiness and success, while at the same time urging others not to expect their situations to necessarily have similar outcomes, and certainly not in similar ways. (Hey, let’s face it. Whose gonna improve on Harry Potter? (Maybe a sequel with the kids of Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione’s kids?) Anyway, kudos for J. K. no matter how long it took her to say what she did and I hope she helped to encourage someone (or more than one) to seek help. To the rest of us on the battlefield, we just have to keep fighting because each small victory won is a battle won in the larger war which, hopefully, will soon come to a happy conclusion for all of us.
suicidal ideas and attempts. very serious matter. i suffer of depression due to significant stressful event in my life. i have tried suicide 4 times. i had suicidal thoughts, plans, ideas on a daily basis. I am so full of bad memories related to my attempts. i feel so guilt. life will never be the same. people do not understand why i was able to do it. they said i was selfish. i say that i was hopeless, helpless, and had a very depressed mood at all times. mental illness is the worse that could have happened to me. i ruined by life by not having skills to face it in a constructive, acceptable and healthy way