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Teen Self-Esteem and Sex Facts

A Factsheet for Parents of Troubled Teens


Updated September 19, 2011

What Is It?

When teens turn to risky sexual behavior to cope with their feelings it creates many of what we consider our society's ills: teen pregnancy, abortion, sexually transmitted disease, and the breakdown of traditional marriage and family. Teens are not usually mature enough to cope with the very real risks and responsibilities of sexual behavior.

Why Do People Do It?

Broken down to a very simple level, these conditions all stem from depression and low self-esteem. These teens feel badly about themselves and desperately need love and approval. The intimate feelings of sex feel like expressions of love. Teenage girls may also seek to fill emptiness in their lives by intentionally getting pregnant so that they may have a child to love.

Who Does It?

All human beings are sexual unless there is some psychological or physical problem that prevents it. If you child has reached the age of puberty it's time to begin considering them as sexual beings. Kids who have a strong sense of themselves and self-respect will not be immune from sexual urges, but they will handle them in more mature ways. Teens who are struggling with their own sense of self-worth are the most prone to unwise decisions about sex.

Warning Signs

Unless you have a very open relationship with your child, you may never know they are sexually active until a problem arises such as an unintended pregnancy, illness or gynecological problem. If your child is dating assume there is a possibility they will become sexually active. If you are fortunate to have a very trusting relationship your child they may actually come and ask you for advice. If not, you may find signs of contraceptives or evidence that your child is seeking out moments to be alone with a boy or girlfriend for private moments. The best advice, however, is to proactive rather than waiting for signs. Talk frankly with your child about sex. Work actively to ensure they place a high value on themselves and their futures.


The underlying depression and self-esteem issues may be dealt with through medication and therapy. Sexually active teens will also need non-judgmental education about the risks and responsibilities of sexuality, including proper medical care where appropriate. Activities that raise self-esteem, hope for the future and personal responsibility are all useful for helping teens avoid the pitfalls of risky sexual behavior. You may find some excellent educational information for teens and sex at About.com's Sexuality site.

More Fact Sheets for Parents of Troubled Teens

  1. About.com
  2. Health
  3. Depression
  4. Who's at Risk?
  5. Age Groups
  6. Child Depression
  7. Depression in Teens
  8. Self-Esteem and Risky Sexual Behavior

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