- Avoid focusing only on the disease aspect of parenting your child. Although it's true your child is ill and is different from others kids in that respect, he is still a child with many of the same needs that other children his age have. Keep a positive outlook on those areas in which your child is "normal" and remember that children and adults with heart defects can lead fulfilling and happy lives.
- You're don't have to do this alone. Caregivers are often forced to make large sacrifices in their finances, careers, and leisure time. While some handle this well, others may become depressed and experience lowered self-esteem. Rather than carrying the burden alone, check with your physician for recommendations of community resources, such as support groups and respite care. In addition, you may choose to hire a housekeeping service or other assistance in completing your daily tasks.
- Don't blame yourself. One of the first reactions a parent may have when a chronically ill child is born is to blame themselves. The causes of CHD, however, are often uncertain. It can be caused by a viral infection or drug use during the pregnancy. It also may be caused by a combination of environmental and genetic factors. If you've done everything to the best of your ability to take care of your fetus, don't beat yourself up over what you may or may not have done wrong. This will only drain the energy that you need to care for your child. If it's difficult for you to let go of these feelings, seek counseling to help you to come to terms with your feelings.
- It's okay to grieve. When parents learn that their child has a congenital defect, it is very normal to go through a process of grieving. Although the child is alive, you have also lost them in a sense. Prior to their birth, you dreamed of all the things your child would be. You planned to watch your son play Little League and your daughter tap dance. Now your plans have changed. It's not selfish for you to feel a sense of loss. It's just how you feel.
CHD Awareness
Coping Tips
By Nancy Schimelpfening, About.com Guide
Updated May 18, 2011
About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by the Medical Review Board
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