- For as long as I can remember I have suffered from anxiety, self loathing, unforgiveness, fear and anger and I never knew how to fix it. On the outside everyone thought I was bubbly and outgoing but on the inside I was in pain, cried often and was always trying to distract myself and be happy. I tried going to Church but it did not help. What I needed to find was my Spirit, the true me and I needed to be honest with myself about who I was and face up to everything. My life changed when I started doing Yoga and meditation. Perspective changes to love. I joined the Brahma Kumaris and realised the meaning of life and that I always had love inside and around me but just chose not to see it. Love never went away. It takes time to heal and forgive ourselves for our mistakes and deep pain which we often blame ourselves for in depression. Use meditation, and spend time to find your spirit, soul, supreme being which guides all life and you will find yourself and your healing.
- i just cant sleep anymore depressed i feel like i am going to die all the time why as god put me here i just want some sleep i try to do things to make me tired and then i dont sleep at all i am so desparate i dont know how to face another day
- —Guest sugarplummolly
I need Help
- I am a 64 year old male. I lost 3 houses and my job during the real estate melt down 3 years ago. I filed for bankcruptcy and subsequently suffered from depression. I was hospitalized 2 times and had taken almost 10 anti depressant pills but didn't help so I stopped taking medications 2 yrs ago. I have thought of committing suicide but I don't want to burden my wife who had faithfully prayed for me and took care of needs for the past 3 yars. I was glad I was able to see your website. Since my depression was triggered by financial lost does anybody know any organization, government or private, here in Northern California that is willing to help financially, me and my wife wants to go start all over again and start small business as my retirement pay is measly. At present I a out of the country and staying in a third world country because of high cost of living in USA. Thank you
- —Guest Overcomer
Stuck in a Rut!!
- I'm 22, and am at an all time low. I have been on a rollercoaster the past 15 years, maybe longer. It all came to a head when I parents seperated and BOTH moved out, leaving me living at home as a 20 year old having to deal with a very troublesome 17 year old. I am still in the same situation, I have all the responsibilities of a housewife/husband but without the partner or children. I am unemployed and struggling with day to day bills. I go out of my way to avoid my friends social events as much as possible as I can't find the energy to enjoy myself. The only form of interaction I participate in is on Facebook, and I find that a lot of my 'friends' there don't really bother to reply to me anymore. I don't want to die, but I don't want to continue living like this any longer :(
- —Guest Things Can Only Get Better...?
How can I make it go away?
- I just finished my master in a science subject. While I was doing it, my supervisor was constantly pushing me to do more - to the point where I was doing 14 hours of work a day, having 1-2 meals a day, sleeping badly and having constant thoughts of suicide. I would even get these strange rashes from all of the stress. Now that I have finished, I just feel so empty and unable to believe in myself. I still need to find a job and I just don't want to face it any more. I just don't care about myself any more. I have no one to talk to about this and I am scared of upsetting people. How do I go about picking up the pieces and moving on?
- —Guest Geetha
Trying To Hold On, Need Help
- My name is Serenity. I here all these stories & it's just so sad. I know how most of you feel (or I think I know, but you have a different perspective). I am 17 years old and I am Depressed and Stressed and to make things worse, I have very bad OCD problems. I don't get along with my mother at all. It's been about 12 years since I have got along with her. I don't get along with my family either. I always want to get away from them & just hangout with friends. I could tell you my stroy on deprssion and being stressed, but I doubt I have that much room to type a book. I am a strong individul. I think crying is showing weakness, BUT lately I have been crying EVERYDAY from being so depressed. It hurts and I want help so bad. I have big dreams and goals in life & I will achieve them no matter what. I would like to just get away from a few months so I can get help before I go nuts. I feel my body shuting down with all the struggles I go through everyday. I want help so badly.
- —Guest Serenity
my window reflects my life
- i remember looking out of my window one morning and watching the sun rise, probably full of hope. ever since my parents divorce my life screwed up. 6 years ago when i moved into this basement with my mom, i couldn't care less because i was too naive, hell, i barely understood the reality of what was going on in my life. now that im 15 i realize im like the dull, boring basement im forced to live in. i cant see the sun rise through the nasty windows. you cant help but look at either the cement or the bugs crawling outside. it pains me think it, but it reflects my life. ever since i became depressed, i looked through life like a window. and what i saw out that window wasn't pretty. i wish it would all just end.
- —Guest dead inside
why does life have to be this way
- im sick of my thoughts. im sick of thinking, "oh i wanna be skinny again, but who cares about looks?!" and then theres , "i wanna do something about my misery and depression, i wanna make myself better, but i don't know what to do!" and i can never forget, "why am i crying out for help, but i don't even bother to tell anyone about what i'm dealing?!" i'm sick of all these thoughts running through my head! i don't want to get out of bed, all i want to do is draw, but i'm a waste of life, and my parents just waste their money on me! im sick of all this, i just wish to end it here now. i don't believe in god but sometimes i find myself thinking: if god exsists he should strike me with a lightning bolt and end my life.
- —Guest thend
life's such a pain
- i'm about to crack, i just know it. its summer and i have nothing to do, in fact i don't want to do anything. but everytime i'm alone all i wanna do is cry, or i just wanna punch something. this is everyday now because i'm always home alone (its just me and my mom and we live in a basement) and i never go out with friends because they're all too busy with family and friends. i never go out because i have no relatives in canada, plus i hate spending time with my mom because just being in the same room ticks me off, its like something clicks and i wanna bash my head against the wall. this may all just seem like ranting, but its because i've been depressed since high school started and i am bipolar. i can't open up to anyone because heck, no one can understand my situation. i'm 16 in a month, and everyday i think to myself, i wouldn't mind dying. but i wouldn't dare commit suicide, that'd just add up to my mothers problems and i already feel so guilty about all the money she wasted on m
- —Guest bipolar
why should i live? How should i die?
- I got married to my childhood sweetheart, only to learn 4 years later that she never ever loved me and was having affairs during our 12 years of "relationship" and marriage. I should have seen the signs since we seldom lived together even after marriage and she never showed any love for me though i was very devoted to her. We got divorced 1 yr back. in the mean time during my depression i got into a relationship with another girl. but cud not hold on for long. I am still not able to forget my first love. i have quit my job and along with family started my own bizz investing a lot of money i borrowed from my parents and other family members. My biiz is doing well for a new startup. But still im depressed and lonely. i want to have the companionship of someone but dnt want to get married again and go thru life like hell. i have wound myself in a cocoon and pulled away from friends and even family. I had a big fight with my dad n mom and now not in talking terms with them. I just wa
- i understand what everyone is going thru i also been thru a lot ever since i was 5 yrs i remember feeling weird my father was never there my mother was so away from us never paid attention to us at the age of 12 yrs i cutt my wrist had my first child at 15 yrs had the worst postpartum depression married my long time sweetheart he was not there either he cared more for his heroin addiction is abusive physically and mentally my children hate me some times i feel of taking my life feel worthless nothing makes me happy everything makes me sad i feel like i dont belong anywhere i hate myself soo much i done nothing but taken crap from everyone my mom,sister,husband kids im soooo tired.
- —Guest tanya g
- I'm 21 and I've been depressed for 3 yrs. I cry out for help but it never reaches me. My story is a lot like others. I sleep allday I have no interest I feel alone and have no friends. I turn to men as my comfort. Having sex takes my mind off my problems only becuz I know I'm making the person happy. I was told that my career should b wat I'm good at but sex is it.I ? If I should b a pornstar but I know I have way more potential. I dnt knw how to change or even whr to begin. But sex only last so long. Wen it ends I'm right back to feeling worthless and not needed. I've tried to commit suicide multiple times but I never die. I then feel worst. My family doesn't care n my eyes. My mom makes excuses for my behaviour but its jus bull 2 me. I'm not sure if I believe n god only becuz I dnt trust mans words. If I can't c it for myself it doesn't exist.I'm never happy or satisfied n my outburst r gettin really aggressive n public. I jus don't care about anything. I wasn't good n school or sports. I can't keep a relationship or a job. I see favortism @ hme. To sum it all up I'm very unhappy n feel that I won't b til I'm @ rest. Life is 2 hard n complicated for me. I jus wana die n feel free. No one will miss me or even notice I'm gone
- I have been depressed for @ least 2 years and need help but my husband says he doesn't believe in psychiatric treatment. I only have health ins thru him and cannot afford to go on my own. I have a terrible job, hard work and all negativity. The place swims in negativity from the owner down to co-workers. I come home and feel I've been beat up and then proceed to talk myself into making dinner, doing chores, I even have to talk myself into combing my hair and can't stand to look in the mirror. Have always struggled with self-esteem but its gotten much worse lately. I have no friends to talk to and my husband doesn't want to hear anything about depression.
- —Guest moll
- Hi, I'm 27 and it seems that faking and hanging on is getting harder and harder. This dark cloud over me is bringing me down when I used to be able to fight for some sunshine. I used to be able to hide my PAIN very well and have hope that it would get better. But now at 27, I am barely holding on and considering death as the only way to escape and do the world and myself a favor. My family gets together for the Christmas and It is no way to make up an excuse to not show up like I can for other things. OMG I dreaded it so bad but there was no way to avoid it. I felt so alone and distant in the middle of all my family, even while they were talking to me! I could not wait till it was over...I wanted to crawl in the closet and hide. My BF popped up at my granny's and I wasn't even happy or even interested in seeing her...even though it's been a while since I'd seen her. It wasn't that I was being coldhearted or selfish, I just felt so sad on the inside. It was so hard to pretend
- —Guest SilentBattle
- I'am dead in side and all my life i always thougth i was the only one that felt this way and i was too ashamed too tell any one that i suffer from depression and i have always had a hard time making or keeping friends because my depression is so bad that i'am physically unable to speak to anyone so i have lost every friend i have ever had and know i spend all my free time thinking of ways to end my life
- —Guest bently cross