- i have undergone an affecting past experience that s makes me feeling sad and deserted in this world i love someone who left me without any clear reason he promised me all the time i was with him that he will be my man but after he get rid of me he said to me goodbye and good luck i feel guilty blaming myself all the time for what i did i used to do sex with him since he was always convincing me to do that since he told me we werent doing something wrong since we would get married soon i was with him for 7years never to give chance to someone else i was faithful but now i get notying i am really in need of help i am deseperate no one can understand me i feel i am betrayed i tried to call him but he is cruel never to answer me i am shocked i cant love someone else i cant i cant take new steps i feel i am enslaved by the past i even lose self confidence why he did that for me because i was always faithful and nice that why he exploit me in this way i am sad and depressed i want help to
- —Guest soha
31 years depressed
- My story might be a bit different than some of yours. I have been suffering with this condition since i can remember, even as a 5 year old child my teachers would ask my parents why I was so sad all the time. My upbringing was quite hard to cope with, my father was quite violent (verbally) and my mother pretty much raised me by herself while suffering from clinical depression and episodes of schizophrenia. Mental illness runs heavy in her family...her mother had a serious case of hypochondria. One of her sisters was house bound her entire life only to end up in a nursing home after my grandmother died. Her other siblings suffered from depression as well. My entire life i've denied having this condition as I thought i could fight it on my own and became a great actor often hiding my condition. I am a broken soul, can't find happiness in anything. I run away from problems, abandon friends, and hurt those that love me the most. Please get help early in life!!! don't wait till 31
- —Guest joe
IM REALLY DOWN ......
- Im so depressed, I cant even get up and go to school. I feel enbarresed to go because im in my wrong grade and im still not getting the work right thinlking about a whole lot of stuff and i just wish it could all go away at once but iI have to work so hard at pushing these problems away...
- —Guest Dalvin Reynolds
Wow, can I relate...
- Wow, can I relate to many of the experiences listed here. I got to the point that I just didn't want to have to awake every day, over and over, and go through the grind. Life was empty, and not getting better. Was feeling like biblical Job with all the disasters in my life. And, I felt like I'd been so empty and dead inside already for too long, that I wasn't alive anyways- why not kill the body, since the spirit was already gone. I am grateful that a few people stepped in and stopped me. Things HAVE GOTTEN WORSE, or stayed the same, but I'm making a commitment to give this a shot for a while longer. Please- don't isolate. Tell someone. I know I don't think you're crazy to consider suicide. It takes a strong person to take that much permanent control of the situation, to make a decision. But, it is permanent. Consider that deeply. If you're feeling empty and alone, ask yourself if you're reaching out to others. If they're not reaching back- FIND SOMEONE ELSE! Stop berating yourself.
- Reading all these stories of the effects of depression are so sad! I am 42 and I dont remember being happy since I was about 15. I still have hope (I dont know why). I continue to believe that God did not put me here for this. There is something I am missing. I want to die but I am afraid to. If I did not have my 5 kids I probably would have taken my life years ago. My last one is 14 and I am scared to death of him growing up and moving out. Will I do it then? I am glad I came here and read the stories, at least I know I am not the only one! I wish I was though, because I would not wish the way I feel on even my worst enemies. Good luck to you all reading this. I hope for the best for us all. Maybe one day things will change.
- —Guest Anonymous
- I can't take this anymore. I used to be so intelligent charming a catch they used to say. I can no longer take care of myself or hold a job. How did I get here? I want to go back and do things different. Help me. I feel so alone. My sister is the only one I can talk to but I fear I'm causing her to spiral now. Not fair. She has kids. I have no one. She deserves happiness. I guess I don't. Help me. Anyone. Please.
- —Guest rd
take a breath of relief
- um not satisfied and um no longer happy ..i think the end is coming soon , in other words it's already started inside me .. um not feeling the same feeling that i lived for before & um trying to convince my self that um doing what i want but this in untrue um not doing any thing !!!...um...marionette.
- —Guest Nothing
I feel it too.
- I'm 21 yrs old. Every day feels like a struggle. Getting to sleep, Getting out of bed, doing chores, homework, SOCIALIZING. Every aspect of my life has been affected by my depression. I am in alot of debt from hospital bills because of past suicide thoughts and attempts. I have made alot of mistakes in my life and cant seem to forgive my self. I dont like anything about myself, and worry constantly that I am boring or dull. I never feel comfortable around people, not my family, or "friends". Dont know if I even have any real friends. I worry about my future constantly, and dont see things ever getting better. Ive recenlty started Yoga and Meditative practices. Hopefully they bring me some peace of mind and quiet the horrible thoughts that are always racing through my head. Id like to be more confident in my desicions, and know that I am doing whats best for myself.
- —Guest another depressed soul
- i tried to reach out for help, but no one believed me. I was told to stop being a drama queen, and to get over myself. I always feel alone, no matter how many people are around, and i rarely sleep because i can't stop crying at night. I always feel physically sick and disgusted with myself. I can be happy one minute, and the next i can be in an absolute rage and physically harm myself or punch or kick in doors/walls. I just want help, but i feel as if i try to get it i will just be laughed at. I tried. I really did. I'm sorry.
- —Guest S.
i found help
- joyce meyer helped me a lot and im thankfull ....thank u joyce
- —Guest finally free
tryed to kill myself 3 times
- i tried to kill myself 3 times in the last 2 years.this year in may i took 39 pills witch were deadly pills and i almost died.i just felt i needed to die and i still feel the same way couse what ever i do to make my parents satisfied they hate me they say i give them heartache and problems so why not kill myself and finish it all???i do belive that i can get help from profecionalls in my depression problem but until i get that pro help i think its gonna be to late..i feel worn out and i sleep all day long somtimes im late for school and much much more..i hate my parents becouse im 17 and they wont let me go out on my own and be the teenage girl i wanna be so now im trying to act like a women so maybe theyll say ok ur a women and u can go out on your own..it dosnt matter the point is if i dont help myself knowone will help me.i have to try to help myself in every possible way i can and if no way works then ill say im a lost case and there is no help for me but untile then THERE IS HELP
- —Guest emina
- FEel depressed for mor than a month. Ntg matters to me anymore. I'm angry and depressed. I stay home all day long. I feel lonely and rejected and nobody cares people wanna see me fall. And I'm down
- —Guest b
- Hi. I just want to find a place where I can share what I'm going through now. Actually, all I need now is a pair of listening ears. I'm 16 this year and I'm a girl who seemed bubbly on the outside. However, I'm feeling the total opposite now. I don't know what I'm living for now, and the reason for my existence. I don't think anyone will care about this insignificant me. My friends thought that I'm okay, just based on the strong front I put to everyone. No one really understands what I really feels, and no one bothers to. I sincerely yearn for someone; a person who wants to understand me.
- —Guest J*
- a day after i had my little girl i started feeling sad, and i wanted to cry ABOUT EVERYTHING . i asked my doctor why i could be doing this and he said it would go away i just had whats calld postdom depression , well i wanted so bad for the feelings i was haveing to go way , i waited and its been 6 years now and i sill have those feelings , but with out the bad horriable thoughts of suicide like i was haveing . but i have everything els that comes with depression . i took meds after mads and nothing worked . so i stoped takein them about 5 years ago . i feel sad but its almost like a numb feeling kinda like im here but im not here feeling . what can i do to make this alll go away
- —Guest natosha
Stuck in a rut as well...
- I've been dealing with depression since I was around 16 years old... ended up a process of medication and therapy to help myself out. It worked to some degree or another, though I have relapsed many times. Currently again I'm at an all time low... and it's strange because I'm doing better than I ever have in my life. I have a caring girlfriend, great grades in college, and am going to be finishing up school within' a matter of years. I'm pursuing my passions in life... though I haven't been able to actively work towards realizing my goals. I have no reasons to be depressed... nothing serious anyways. Yet, I constantly feel a sense of dread... and despair. I feel at all times like I'm losing my emotional sanity, and have very much felt the need to commit suicide. I'm once again on medication, and am receiving counseling... yet... it still feels overwhelming to consider doing school work... or being around friends... I want it to stop... because I really am in so much pain...
- —Guest Cesar