- hi, i m 30 yr old man and still single. i m living in delhi since last 12 yrs alone, i got my job before 6 yrs back after degree, but every time i felt that i m alone, nobody is there to listen me, care me, love me. specially when i got job i was unable to meet with people in social gathering, bcoz i m too busy in my IT job, also i cant leave this job bcoz having some finanacial crisis in my family, due to which i m also frustrated. believe me i love to talk, outing, dating but no one is here to do that. now every moment of my life is very tough, do u believe i m only talking in office about work only, where should i go to share my feelings, my thoughts. yes i have one sister and brother but i m not closed with them since my childhood, might be the reason is they didnt share anything with me and ignored me. now my lifstyle is passing 12 hrs in office than come to home and taking sleep for 8 hrs than again go to office, this is my life since last 6 yrs. pls suggest me.
- —Guest Sahil khan
- My six year relation is break because for intercast merreg not allowed in family And my girl friend enged some one I feel upset and guilti I wake up in the morning and feel so so, then it starts mind is on overload. Thinking something is gonna happen to me. Why?? need to be here for them and want to be. It's just so hard to be normal again and that's all I want. I have myself so scared of everything, I don't want to eat or nothing. How your mind can control you so much it's so unbelievable. I don't want to eat, do household chores, get a shower even change clothes.
- —Guest Naveen
I don't even know anymore..
- Sometimes I'll just break down crying. I don't know why. I know people care about me but I just deny it. Whenever I cry there is a pain in my chest and stomach. I get upset at the littlest things. I've been feeling like this for a year now, and I'm only 12. I go to counseling but it doesn't seem to make me feel better, in fact I don't like it. I thought these feelings had gone away but I guess not. I sometimes wish I was dead. I just don't even know anymore. Everything just seems like a blur. I always look at the negative things, never the good. I'm a strait A student, musically talented, but that doesn't change anything. No matter how much stuff I have it doesn't do s thing. I'm just sad about everything. Life. Death. Life.
- —Guest Anonymous
I dont want to live anymore
- Im always alone I dont have anyone to talk too I dont trust nun of my family members because if I do tell them they will make fun of they are going to say I want attention and its not true I just want someone to understand me and just listen to me make me feel I can d something and not just go to school and stay at home since I get out of school I'm always at home with no friends at school in lunch time I'm in the restroom alone nobody to talk to the girls I call friends quit school and habe kids the other one is always with her baby daddy and never have time for nothing nev text me or call me I just want to die ive been thinking of just killing my self or just run away from home nobody is going to care they never talk to me there always making fun of me
- —Guest Stephanie
just want to let it all out
- i am a sloth. i fail in doing my jobs. always end my work contracts with getting fired. feel useless and hopeless. really cant focus and do anything right. but, i tell people to live better as it is my job. Feels like lying everyday, a great liar! Just want to find that switch off button and end my life. I just got dumped too and my ex has been fucking more beautiful persons than me, and all i get as his replacement is not even half of him. Feeling like a total failure. And i just want to let it all out to a person but dont want to hear any judgement from him or her. Just a pat on my back to say that everything will be alright.
- —Guest coucouclan
i dont know what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- i used to be a heroine addict...ive been on suboxone for 2 years and idk if thats it...i feel like i have nobody to talk to that actually cares...im engaged n my fiance is a sweetheart but she doesnt understand either...have no friends only aquaintances...i work but only reason i go is cause i have to...i feel like my family hates the hell outta me...im never motivated to do anything unless i have an upper suppliment or if its to make money...i feel crappy everyday n just wanna sleep...what is wrong with me...i just want a normal fucking life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- —Guest keith
- I wish I was dead. I fall into addictive and unhealthy habits and it is so hard, almost impossible, to stop because I loathe myself and want to punish myself. I keep blaming myself and other people and other things but I'm not sure who is to blame, I'm just angry and sad and confused. I don't have a reason to live, other than my immediate family. I know how much it would hurt my mom. Anyway I waste all my time instead of doing something productive, or at least what would be society's idea of success. I'm stuck in this shithole and I feel like I'm submerged in darkness, and I'm becoming darkness. Often I wish I was dead or want to die. What helps is having someone with perpetual kindness or compassion by my side.
- —Guest Sunny Yu
- I don't want to sound over-confident, but I'm a logical person. If you know anything, you know that stupid people get in trouble and smart people get praised. I am an empty shell. I know what I'm supposed to do, so I do it. People say, you're so clever! You're so funny! And I sit there making jokes and laughing while I know the exact placement of the bullet trajectory I want through my skull. Or I can feel the weight of the bus rolling over my ribs. Or I can feel the cold air rushing over my face as I jump out of the window on the fourth floor. I'm never getting better. These thoughts are a parasite in my head and I am worthless. I am not smart. I am ruined. I wish I had never thought about these things before. Now I know, I can't stand looking at my proud parents, knowing how it would feel, to feel absolutely nothing. To not feel the weight of aching on my chest, crushing me. I should die. I am ruined forever.
- —Guest something
Why am I here?
- What has happened to me:( I used to be full of life. Now I constantly worry. Full of fear, sadness. Obsession that I'm going to die. I fear I will end up on the streets with no family or friends to be there for me. Today is one of those days where I feel dead inside not wanting to get out of bed. I'm screaming inside for GOD to help me. I don't want to be a failure. I want a path of where I can breathe and have a few smiles where I know everything is going to be ok. I want to be smart organized and people to look up to me. It will never happen....... All of it... I fear death but picture myself taking pills or hanging myself... Please help somebody anybody....
- —Guest Scooter
The black hole
- I have just been signed off with deppresion by my doctor for 4 weeks I kept my deppression a secret since last September but when it got worse I couldn't cope at work anymore my job is dealing with a lot of pepole I couldn't even string a sentence together and little things got to me I even find it hard to talk to my family and boyfriend about it feel like I am deppresing everyone I use to be so carefree and friendly but not anymore just want to stop this feeling but can't I have taken my medication because my boyfriend was on them years ago and he said they arnt the answer just won't to wake up and feel normal again I think the main thing that helped towards the deppresion is the usual not much money no good friends felling like a loser I just wish I could turn my brain off I am also worried about going back to work that pepole are going to think I am strange and not understand I would like to try and start a fresh in a new job but they way sorry to rant on try and be positive
- —Guest Praying for a sunny day
Just Not Enough
- With medicine I am feeling better but the recovery is slow. I wake up in a complete fog, my insides feel like they've shut down, another way to put it is as if a wall of absolute nothing surrounds me from feeling joy, happiness, motivation, and pleasure. This invisible wall and fog follows me in everything I do. The hobby that used to keep me interested for days now only keeps me going, not interested, for a little while. I used to have tremendous willpower -- the ability to succeed and push to get difficult things done; but, now the little things are tasks and I am faced with fatigue and no interest in the hard work. I remember the excitement I used to get from doing intellectual work, the critical thinking, memorization, and books upon books upon books! Don't be fooled by the exclamation mark, just like my moments of joy they are vacuous and just social graces -- the appearance of being normal. I am peculiarly depressed but I wanted to share my feelings. I want to share my recovery.
- —Guest Greg
- I feel just like hopeless. I am dealing with major health issues which are improving so I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. As a child, I would isolate myself from my family. I have never chose to do this as an adult but I have and I have less to deal with that way and unwanted stress is gone to a degree except what I think about. It's a break I need from the world right now and everything else will fall into place. I am so grateful to have a day like today without severe pain and depression so I know I will get better.
- —Guest sue
13 Years too long...
- The past 13 years have been the worse regarding my depression. I feel hollow and can cry at the drop of a hat. I have no friends; kids grown and gone and am very ill from a serious heart condition. I suppose everything is magnified by my condition but the depression never goes away. It only morphs into other things throughout the day but I am pretty much a recluse and don't put nor have too much trust in others anymore. I go through moods where one day I will be strong and ready to take on the world and the longer I think about it, I just don't physically have the physical fortitude to seem to follow through with my good intentions anymore. I feel hopeless, knowing I am dying and am on the edge. What is there to plan for? Get excited about? Should I pick out the outfit I want to wear, NOW? Leave instructions and make arrangements? Nobody to talk with about all this; sometimes overwhelming. On medication; nothing helps.
- —Guest MistyInSoCal
- I went thru it once 27 years ago, still taking meds and still thankfully feeling great. It's something you never forget and I can sum it up in a few words: Being possessed by a demon -- The fear of everything -- No hope of getting better -- Hypochondria -- Your mind is lost in itself, you can no longer think normally or logically.
- —Guest Gary
Alone and confused
- I am 14 and living with my mom. She is a hardcore Jehovah's witness and about a year ago i started having big problems with the religion which caused me and my mother to have a more distant relationship. I used to have tons of friends that i would hang out with everyday. They have all abandoned me and slowly stopped responding to my calls and texts until there was no more contact. I have just started highschool this year and i have no friends. I feel like i am walking a mere waste of space that no one sees and no one talks to. I can barely get out of bed in the morning, i feel sad and empty and i over analyze to much. I am seeing a counselor about these feelings and am have been on depression medication for a month now nothing seems to be helping. I feel worthless and hopeless, like there is no meaning in life anymore
- —Guest Robyn