Thought I'd Found The Cure..
- I have suffered from deperssion for as lobng as I can remember. Anyone who's lived my shitty life would be depressed. Alcoholim in my family, abuse..you get the idea. I got hooked on oxycontin. At first it cured me. I never felt so good. But then it destroyed me. And the withdrawls..straight from hell. I feel worse now then I did before. Some days I just wanna die. But I can't I have two beautiful kids and another on the way. I just wish I could be happy inside.
- —Guest Jodie
Concealing my emotions...
- I am only 16 years old and i feel as though maybe im just feeling this way because they say that "all teens have crazy hormones" but i realize now that its more than that. I live with my grandmother ( we live in ny), my mother left me and moved back to nj because we had a disagreement and it has taken a toll on me. My mother has always been inconsistent in my life. And i feel as though everything is my fault. Even when i do the most simplest things wrong i relieve myself by self- injury. Sometimes i think that the only way for this hurt, pain and guilt to be over is by just giving up my life....
- —Guest Tiffany
Neutral
- Aside from a heaviness in my chest (which I would assume would be a physical manifestation of sadness) at its worst depression simply made me feel neutral. Yes, I felt worthless, however I simply stomached it and accepted my place value, or lack thereof. There was nothing really poetic about it as many of the posters here have made it out to seem. For a time yes, one may feel extreme sadness. However at rock bottom, you just don't really care anymore. About your life, your friends, your hobbies, anything.
- —Guest Guest
depression
- i feel like lately im not thinking stright my mind is just off some where, and my body is till hee, at school im fine and happy but mosttly this summer i have felt like an empty sheel of nothing but my mind is haveing scarey thought's and im bored and lonley is this depression?
- —Guest caleb
Don't know why
- I'm jobless.. My bf chooses his WOW over me.. I feel so depress.. Every night I have to cry.. Now by reading this I'm crying without knowing why either.. I just feel scared.. Cos it's a very scary feeling..
- —Guest Don't ask me why
this shit is wack
- ive never done this but fuck it. i feel like shit everyday. everytime one of my friends or family tells me they love me and shit i just dont even believe them. because why would they. all i think is why do i walk among all these human scum everyday , i hate my life, i hate the world as a whole almost and it fucking sucks . i want to be happy like everyone else. and actually feel like someone cares
- —Guest steve
there isnt much left..of me
- Im a single mom of 5, raised my kids with NO support,even married.I have been 2 times now divorced again,13 yrs, it started out GREAT then I had 4 back surgeries with the stress of $, lies, cheating, I started NOT eating when upset, now with eating disorder! In worse pain after! I now have NO desire to GO to bed, GET up, GO anywhere, I have to be forced,to leave my house, I hate going in public,due to my wt. I am down to 82 lbs, 5'6 and people always talk, when I walk by! CANT get lbs BACK now! I have tried everything & nothing works! I cant even LOOK for a GUY cuz I feel terrible about myself, I want back to 120 NOW! Its to point, my kids, dont even like visiting me, an I HAVE 2 find a way out of this! My kids are grown, & lot of regrets..of things I should of done, but no energy, kids suffered & I cry. want to go back to ME again & HAPPY 4 once! had bad childhood also, w/my mom, we never got along & unloved. Dad retired & died, ALONE and HATE it! Any Help 4 wt Gain? Desperate! Thanks
- —Guest KJM
lifes not like it use to be
- Lately i have had no intrest in going out with my friends and family like i use too on the outside i try to act like nothings wrong but on the inside im slowly dying ive had several suicide attempts i feel like i cant trust no one and that no one cares if im alive or not. i cant hold a conversation without having a axiety attacks. i want too go back too my old life:( whats wrong with me
- —Guest monica
Depression?
- I get these short bursts of depressive behavior every so often. I feel so lonely and empty. My life seems meaningless. When my friends are happy and I'm depressed, it feels like the whole weight of the world rests on me because I can't be happy like them. I have many times thought of suicide but I feel too tired to try it. I am only in my early teens and I really don't think it's fair that I have to live this way.
- —Guest PenguinFish
You will heal
- im 15, suffering from depression, day to day is so much harder for me then my friends, i cant even consentrate anymore, but i have to anyway, i have to push through, i feel guilt for nothing, and dont know what i exactly want from life, im confused, and lost, the sun isnt as bright as i remember, life is draining, and sometimes in my eyes pointless, but i have faith it will get better, i just dont know how.
- —Guest weallsuffer
dont wont to be bothered with anything.
- I ust to be a fun guy. however in my early twentys I was diagnosed with panic disorder. panic attacks put me in the hospital sevral times. was put on anti anxiety meds. that worked ok for the panic but then I started experiencing depresive signs tried many anti D's to no avail. I will procrastinate anything. even things that I know I would enjoy if I cound just get myself there. I avoid confortation at all costs. I feel like I just want to be left alone. I have a great husband, but he has no Idea the extent of my depression. I only do things if it is a absolut must or it is something that is expected by my husband. not outragous demands, not demands at all really, just stuff like makeing dinner. cleaning house and the like. we both work but he works more than me so i feel like I should take on more of the household duties. My work is suffering because I just want to get home. I dread the sound of my phone,always think that bad news is on the line. I will avoid returning phone calls
- —Guest guest
I can't stop crying
- I cry all the time. I lost everyone who loved me and the rest of the family avoids me. They think that I'm crazy and so do I. I sleep all day and stay up all night. I wake up with heartache. I still grieve for everyone who loved me and died. I am all alone in the world and would kill myself if I wasn't afraid of dying. I'm crying now and will go back to sleep to stop the pain. Why am I still here, what's the point of my life?!?!?!
- —Guest Wiltedrose
I Don't Exactly Know if i'm Depressed.
- I have so much on my mind right now. Summer is here. My parents don't like me dating or going out with friends at all. But I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now. He's everything to me, you may think I sound like a young love struck bug, but no, i'm mature so is he. I've been thinking so much how we are ever going to see eachother this summer. It's been stressing me out. My parent's are killing my childhood, cutting my social life. It's unhealthy for me. They threaten to kick me out all the time. I find myself crying All the time! I'm not the happy "spunky" person i used to be. I never notcied this but my teachers started asking me if im okay and all, i just nod and say yeah, i just dont feel very good today...there'll be tears in my eyes. i cry myslef to sleep. I talk to God every night, to help me. I feel so gloomy, I'm not happy anymore. I have to put on a fake smile and laugh everyday.Sometimes I'd rather just die.It seems way more simple.All my preblems will be gone.
- —Guest GuestGirl
i'm really lost
- I can't think straight, my teachers think i'm lazy but i'm just in pain, i keep my head down to ignore the world or any one with intention of talking to me. Sometimes i forget to smile n appear too serious even when trying to tell a joke or smile too much to cover my real face but it's obious i'm faking it. I can't sleep but i spend hours in bed thinking without moving n so people sometimes think i'm asleep even in class. Sometimes when i do some of my hobbies like building cardboard models i feel heavy but i do it for that moment of joy when i finish n it looks good, i also like writing poetry because it makes my feeling a little beautiful. iI cut myself when i really can't take it anymore because i like how my blood runs n the scars n the different pain n the thought of maybe having an escape. I've done weed n it did help but the smoke stings my lungs, swallowing it doesn't get u high n it's too hard to hide it so cutting myself works a little better. my reasons r ve unique so im really lonely.
- —Guest solisium
pretend
- I feel I am worthless, a speck of dust..awlays. Causing people anguish. And always in the way.. I have no reason to feel this way. Except the feeling of being ignored pushed away by others, and always being last. But nobody sees me screamin inside. All because I have to hide. I don't open myself up to anyone....I act as if its all okay but secretly I am. Drowning in my own screams
- —Guest coroline
