A never ending ache
- I have dealt with depression ever since I was young. I do not even know how old I was but thinking about it I remember the constant feeling of being scared, worried i would forever be left alone and always confused about things that would take place in my life. The way I even thought confused me and I always felt different for that. I honestly struggled with things I didn't see other peers go through. I never felt like I was normal or belonged. I am 19 now and have never attempted to physically get help for this depression. I just deal with it everyday, constantly worried about what I'm going to do to fix it before it gets worse. I don't know how worse it can get. I try to be positive and to listen before I even FEEL or react to situations but in the end I feel a mixed set of emotions starting from frustration to madness to sadness all the way until my throat aches so bad it feels like it's bleeding. I feel like anything I have to do to get done or even attempts are too big to handle I
- —Guest Alwaysblue
its not me..
- this feeling is killing me.my days is just past without any exciting moment.i was exactly 21 when i meet this feeling.its been 5months of suffering.mt friends always wanted me to go out with them,but i am lost in concentration when im with them.. i want to go back to my normal life. to the happiness and exciting.to feel what a normal person feel is.i want to live free. i dont know how i get this bad feeeling inside of me.all i know is to fight this depressed mood that killing me slowly.i committed suicide.but im scared....
- —Guest jomar
suicidal thoughts but have 2 small child
- I have 2 small children and feel like I want to kill my self 24/7 I have suffered from severe depression my whole life and suicidal thougts my whole life because I have poor self image and no self esteem and my husband definitely has drug me to the point of wanting to kill my self, and now iam pregnant again :( and iam only 21 years old! Seriously I don't think I can do this anymore :'(
- —Guest tiffany
- You are just in the hole that is deep into the center of the earth. No diffrence and you will never leave. I am 13 and i suffer from deppression this is my first year actually expression my exppirience and that it feels good to let it out.
- —Guest Tristan
This is not me
- I think I'm in Trouble I found my best friend and girlfriend cheating behind my back and ever since I just work its all I do work come home don't sleep I can't go out and meet people I feel sic I shake cold sweats I don't like crowds of people i don't trust enyone I cry when I'm on my own I shouldn't be like this I wasn't like this the only thing that keeps me around is my sister and dad I feel like my world has collapsed in on my and I can't get out I don't know what to do I'm frighted but I can't seem to talk to anyone I don't know what to do its only been a year feels like 20 I don't see my friends I've cut my self off I think they are going to betray me as well I need some one I can talk to can trust but not burden with my stuff I just want to be my self again
- —Guest ..Chris..
- I don't know what is worth fighting for, but everything now seems worth dying for. Once upon a time, the aforementioned thing, love took my breath away, but now I can only feel myself suffocating. I used to walk around with my hell bent pride that is now being out weighed by the sheer pain. And as I looked for a place to hide these feelings I realized that my heart was shattered from the inside out. I am in ruins. At the end of the road with no possible sense of anything, my thoughts have taken their toll and broken the spirit of my soul. With my faith now walking on broken glass and what seems like a relentless hangover, I realize that nothing is ever built to last, even happiness. And now that it's time to live and let die, I know I will never get another try, because something in this heart of mine has died. I am in ruins. I am finally ready to lay down my arms and give up the fight. Good night, good bye, and good riddance.
- —Guest Katherine of Manassas
Not Even Human Anymore
- My name is Kat, I've no favorite color, food, movie, song, and nothing to say. I'm a quiet unnoticeable smudge of living flesh. I smile and laugh when I have to out of politeness or just because I don't want anyone to notice, not that they would care. Even if I have just had the most amazing day of my life, in the end the only thing I "feel" is emptiness, I lingering sense of longing or lack of purpose. I know I probably will never have the guts to off myself, but I still want to die. I've decided to move along just to make it through. I hate the loneliness but for some reason I can't wait to get home and spend time in room alone. I know what I want my funeral to be like, I know what song I want played. I know in six month no one will even remember me, save for maybe my parents. Honestly, I'm done, tired of fighting, ready to lay down my arms and give up the fight.
- —Guest KatMora
- im am 21 and i fell unhappy it dont matter what i buy myself or who im with any more now i just feel angry at every one and feel like every one makes choices for me and i get even more upset i cant go inside places alone cuz i feel like everyone is looking at me and i get frustrated it gets worse every day and i cant make my own diccisions seems like when i do there not the right ones but i hate it even more when others help me i also feel like every one is trying to help me out but that makes me feel like a loser and i get angry tords that also i have things i want to do and places i want to go but i cant seem to do anything on my own i get over welmed and i feel stupid when people talk to me
- —Guest charles
- I lost my sister a year ago and we were very close im stil trying to grasp it i have not begun to really deal with it yet every day inthink of her and wish i could see her i sometimes feel like i dont want to be here any longer but i have a wife and daughter that need me and i would miss them dearly every day is a strugle within myself to be positive and move foward this is what my sister would want but i just cant seem to do it please help
- —Guest Old guy
- all I want to do is sleep in my cold room tucked under my blanket, thinking about nothing doing nothing , all i want is complete darkness, all i want is silence, complete silence, away from the outside. waking up in the morning is such a pain, it hurts so much when i open my eyes and my brain brings me back to reality, a reality i grew to hate and hide from, i hate the outside. my interaction with whatever is there people, the sun, work, friends, it all hurts, it all puts me in such agony that i can't tolerate. I don’t belong here, maybe if I just disappear all will be good again. I see their love but I can’t feel it. It kills me to not feel the joy I see in others. I want that too, but it hurts, it just hurts the more I think about it the more it hurts. No more.
- —Guest cireena
I am already dead
- i am nothing my family my friends my life deos not exist they dont seem to notice that i am empty that everything means nothing and everything is boring i would commit suicide but tha would only hurt people and i am not worth creating pain for others but how can i live knowing that whatever happened in the rest of my life and quick spurts of happyness then back to my foul existence
- —Guest chris.H
- i feel that the present situation of pakistan is a big cause of depression because the poor and medoicer people do not know how earn their livelihood
- —Guest hifzaraza
- I am a 30yo male. I have so much to give to other people, when they give me the chance. I feel as though I exist on the outside looking in, an observer of life. This has always enabled me to identify the strengths and weaknesses of others. Strengths that I project on to myself alowing short term retrospective connections with people I barely know. I feel my personalty is a collection of random conection from people I meet in passing. My empathy for others allows me to help them and reassure them that they matter. How ever it is never reciprocal. And with every new acquaintance, I am left just as hollow and alone as I have always been. I now live where I work, and it is very hard to motivate to do anything. My plan to fix this is to position myself where I can help others more often, and work on helping them more effectively and creatively. By doing this I hope that one day, people will look out for me as I do for them.
- —Guest Chalky
want to get out of this depressing mood
- I use to have so much fun and felt like the happiest person alive,after three bad break-ups in 2years,my 2 best friends stole my last 2 boyfriends,I feel alone and depressed...I'm always sleeping and don't won't 2 work or go study..I feel lik I'm going 2 be lik this my whole life..I don't know what to do and my tears are finished..I want to be that positive happy person again..its just so hard 2 find myself again after loosing myself so many time..HELP!!
- —Guest jess
I HAVE FELT THIS ALL, PLS DONT GIVE UP!
- I have felt every single feeling you all are feeling. I am not just another person saying "yeah i was depressed once too. i got over it". NO. Those people do not understand. You are not crazy. This is not your fault. You are not inferior, inadequate, unworthy, or any other negative thoughts that i KNOW run through your mind because I have been there for much too long. EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU IS BEAUTIFUL AND THE WORLD IS JUST WAITING FOR YOU TO BREAK FREE OF THIS, AND SHINE!!! YOU CAN AND WILL DO IT!!! I can tell you as a complete FACT that THIS WILL NOT LAST FOREVER. IT GETS BETTER. SEEK HELP. TALK TO A DOCTOR IF NOBODY ELSE WILL LISTEN!!! I know the feeling. My family does not understand. My friends do not understand. They've tried to tell me, "just get over it. it's all in your head. you're making yourself feel that way. just stop!" NO. IT IS AN ILLNESS. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. AND IT IS NOT HOPELESS. IT IS TREATABLE. TALK TO A DOCTOR. FIND GOD. YOU ARE LOVED!!!
- —Guest THERE IS HOPE