it all sounds so familiar
- i don't remember my 1st bout of depression i think it was somewhere around 7th or 8th grade when my parents divorced.i didn't want to leave the house all summer &i gained 15lbs. years later at 30 i had my first daughter, boom PPD. 3.5 years later when i was feeling "normal" again i got pregnant and had 2nd daughter, boom PPD again. A year later found my husband was having an affair with a woman he worked with. 9 mos. later his father passes away from cancer. 1.5 year later a very dear friend dies from complication of surgery. this past year? i lose my job & as a result many of my friends, my best friend since elementary school decides to end our friendship..my step-mom is diagnosed with breast cancer as is my 94 year old grandmother and both have masectomies. Here i am 40& unable to function. unable to shower regularly or brush my teeth, wash my hair, change my clothes. i am unable to keep up with housework. my girls need me & i just cant & i don't know why. everythings too hard.
- —Guest GAgirl
It's like a mental breakdown at first
- I first started getting symptoms of depression early my junior year of high school but didn't notice because I thought I could never get depressed. I was always happy-go-lucky with a good sense of humor. Then a lot of stressful things happened junior year and I was smoking pot every day to help but it was probably worsening my depression. At first I made up unrealistic thoughts, like really complicated scenarios that I thought were a part of life because I didn't think I was depressed. Then I got the stomach flu, and I quit cigarettes at the same time so going to school was miserable. I didn't go to school for two weeks because I wanted social isolation, I didn't want anyone to see me like this, my social skills were dropping, I had a huge fear I was going crazy and losing myself. Finally I told my mom I thought I was depressed after school ended during the summer. Once I realized that I had depression, things seemed clearer, I understood that life is pretty simple. Now on antidepr med
- —Guest Troy
lost
- It's the worst heartbreak you'll ever experience. The pain takes your breath away and the tears are nonstop. I feel like everything that goes wrong is my fault (i'll even go as far as apologising to people for things I didn't do) and I find it difficult to work as I'm obsessive compulsive. Meds do help but they make you gain a lot of weight, which in turn brings back the depression.
- —Guest sharon oz
Tired of being Tired
- im sick n tired of being sick n tired im tired of the guilt for all the mistakes i rhink i made raising my kids im tired of feeling alone n worthless im tired of being with n ass hole of a man im tired of not having any energy im tired of knowing what to do n not doing it im tired of over eating n letting life pass by me im tired of all these dumb stupid negative thoughts i have about my self daily tired of low self esteem not having a job n not taking care of my self im tired of not going any where or even not talking to my freinds any more im tired of trying to convince my self that its all in my head n if i think positive i will be happy im tired of just being tired of bei ng sick n tired GOD can i just get it together can i just be happy get some exercise let go of the guilt and live my life the way i want IM TIRED OF BEING DEPRESSED!
- —Guest Tired
I wish I could....
- Im so depressed now...i've gone crazy...i've told weird lies about myself...i feel like im going to vomit. Im not sure if my bf really does still love me....he says he does but...im not sure...I dont want help but i know i need it...
- —Guest Alex R.
I don't really know what to do anymore.
- I feel bored all the time, &I don't want to go &do anything because I'm so tired &I feel heavy but I'm only 108 pounds (I'm a 15 year old girl who's 4'11") &I just feel like I don't have any feelings or emotions anymore. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. I feel stuck. :(
- —Guest Sam
sleepness
- i have a lot of problems what to do?I can not sleep do you think it can help me?Alcohol and Sleep every night. Although the function of sleep is unknown, abundant evidence demonstrates that lack of sleep can have serious consequences, including increased risk of depressive disorders, impaired breathing, and heart disease. In addition, excessive daytime sleepiness resulting from sleep disturbance is associated with memory deficits, impaired social and occupational function, and car crashes (1,2). Alcohol consumption can induce sleep disorders by disrupting the sequence and duration of sleep states and by altering total sleep time as well as the time required to fall asleep (i.e., sleep latency). This Alcohol Alert explores the effects of alcohol consumption on sleep patterns, the potential health consequences of alcohol consumption combined with disturbed sleep, and the risk for relapse in those with alcoholism who fail to recover normal sleep patterns.
- —Guest mim
who actually really cares
- for as long as i can remember ive had the darkest cloud over my head or thats what it feels like . Even the moments when im "smiling and happy" in the back of my mind depression never leaves me . I hate to be pittied or to depend on people for emotional support but now im just desperate , for some type of hope because lately all i want to do is get the knif and everyday im ending up closer to the kitchen with one motivation . Im typically raised by my mother and my father hes across the world me and him never speak .My mother,she fools herself into thinking she loves me but really she just tolerates me as the mistake she gave birth to.She plays the biggest role in my depression & my depression is driven on the fact that even with all she does and says to me,i still love her UNCONDITIONALLY. theres just so much more to it all but this is the shortest way to summerize a life of miseray of constant depression no escape no one to understand and stress from not having the guts to kill mysel
- —Guest justanother
How did I get here!
- I'm 26. Once apon a time I was happy, active and lead a positive strong life. I don't know where I went wrong :( now I don't want to live my life! I'm sad all the time, I struggle to get out of bed, I have no apetite, no energy or want to socialize. I've buried myself in 60 hours a week of work. I'm numb all the time, I feel so empty in my mind and spirt. My husband says he doesn't love me anymore...that he's grown as a person and I haven't! I told him I have depression and I needed his help, but he doesn't know how to help me so and I know he doesn't love me anymore because of the depression. But it's too late now, and now I'm on my own! I have no one I feel like I'm not surpose to be here anymore. I just wish someone would end it for me so I don't have to feel guilty about upsetting anyone. I just wish I was happy, I just wish I wasn't here! :'(
- —Guest Sad
Thought I'd Found The Cure..
- I have suffered from deperssion for as lobng as I can remember. Anyone who's lived my shitty life would be depressed. Alcoholim in my family, abuse..you get the idea. I got hooked on oxycontin. At first it cured me. I never felt so good. But then it destroyed me. And the withdrawls..straight from hell. I feel worse now then I did before. Some days I just wanna die. But I can't I have two beautiful kids and another on the way. I just wish I could be happy inside.
- —Guest Jodie
Concealing my emotions...
- I am only 16 years old and i feel as though maybe im just feeling this way because they say that "all teens have crazy hormones" but i realize now that its more than that. I live with my grandmother ( we live in ny), my mother left me and moved back to nj because we had a disagreement and it has taken a toll on me. My mother has always been inconsistent in my life. And i feel as though everything is my fault. Even when i do the most simplest things wrong i relieve myself by self- injury. Sometimes i think that the only way for this hurt, pain and guilt to be over is by just giving up my life....
- —Guest Tiffany
Neutral
- Aside from a heaviness in my chest (which I would assume would be a physical manifestation of sadness) at its worst depression simply made me feel neutral. Yes, I felt worthless, however I simply stomached it and accepted my place value, or lack thereof. There was nothing really poetic about it as many of the posters here have made it out to seem. For a time yes, one may feel extreme sadness. However at rock bottom, you just don't really care anymore. About your life, your friends, your hobbies, anything.
- —Guest Guest
depression
- i feel like lately im not thinking stright my mind is just off some where, and my body is till hee, at school im fine and happy but mosttly this summer i have felt like an empty sheel of nothing but my mind is haveing scarey thought's and im bored and lonley is this depression?
- —Guest caleb
Don't know why
- I'm jobless.. My bf chooses his WOW over me.. I feel so depress.. Every night I have to cry.. Now by reading this I'm crying without knowing why either.. I just feel scared.. Cos it's a very scary feeling..
- —Guest Don't ask me why
this shit is wack
- ive never done this but fuck it. i feel like shit everyday. everytime one of my friends or family tells me they love me and shit i just dont even believe them. because why would they. all i think is why do i walk among all these human scum everyday , i hate my life, i hate the world as a whole almost and it fucking sucks . i want to be happy like everyone else. and actually feel like someone cares
- —Guest steve
