i am confused
- since startingly as i remember i am always restless child i always looking for something and the wonder is i dont know what i always feel sad gloomy specially in weekend afterhours and everyday after evening time my mood is not constant its change in a day so many time thats why i could not any decission of my life i am not interested in life i dont have any desire any wish any aim i am just living like alive dead body just breathing i dont know what my fatal will be i think it would be worst god ALLAH mercy on me good bye
- —Guest hassan
Could I also have depression?
- Since I was a child, age 7 actually, I have always thought about suicide. Praying to god at least once a week to kill me until i was 14. Then in highschool I went through bouts of insomnia were I just couldnt sleep for more than 3 hours a night. Last year I met a girl who changed me and made me feel essentially like my emotions didnt matter and I am extremely happy around her. Even though she doesnt want to be with me, causing me to constantly workout and sleep, often eating very little. Im extremely thin, my mother has manic depressive bipolar disorder and her attempts at suicide as a child may have caused all of these feelings. I just feel like I am never happy for more than a day at a time. Im always switching between depression and happy/confident. I worry that I just fear that i have bipolar disorder and this results in my mood swings; but I feel like i am just extremely responsive emotionally to my surroundings. I feel extremely alone again because that girl doesnt love me. Im 18
- —Guest Henry
Too scared for help
- I have had a weight in my chest and a cloud over my head for over 10 years now. I think I've resigned myself to never be happy. I've spent years being told by my parents that I'm worthless, useless and never gonna do anything with my life And know matter what I do nothing will ever change their opinion. I just wish I could stop thinking it as true when I know it's not. I own my own home, I am climbing the career ladder really quickly. But it will never be enough. I will never be enough. Which makes me think why do I carry on living?
- —Guest Hiding it well
I AM Really in Depression
- I am a person who is from a poor family.. I am now 21 and i feel alone.. From last 3 months i am attending placements and i am not able to get a job.. I am the topper in my college.. I tried some 15 companies i cant get a job.. I cry myself often and sleep 14-15 hrs.. I had involved i lot of work and projects and because of depression i am not able to do any work.. Burden is increasing.. I am feeling that i cant get a job.. Without job entire my family has to do suicide or become beggers.. I dont want to ask help or become begger.. Now i lost interest in studies and i lost interest in placements jobs.. Dont know what to do in life..
- —Guest Pitri
- I've been intensly sad for no reason since the age of six and since the age of seven I have had thoughts of death. I feel like everything is my fault and that people only pretend to love me. I can't tell my parents because they wouldn't listen and say that that is not how i feel. I know this because when i told my dad, he dismissed it and my mum is even worse. I'm so unpopular and i have frequent hallucinations. I have nightmares every night and I keep feeling like I'm going to cry but I hold it in. The few people i tell say that I'm just doing it for attention. They say it so much that even I'm starting to believe it. please help me. please.
- —Guest anonymous
lost in depression
- I fought a good fight...but I will lose...today...I'm 41 and have so much to live for but don't feel such...I've been dealing with this since I was a teen...even passed it on to my son...prozac is not working any longer....I know that I'm not alone...but I FEEL alone...I can't help that with all my might
- —Guest Angel
tired of living like this
- i have the same condition first i was a really happy person but few weeks ago when my mother had a minor heartattck i was there she survived but since that day i feel different i feel emotionless like if there is time that i should take tension i dont i even dont feel anything. Everything seems blurt. I am unable to differentiate between reality and imagination. Some times when i am out at some place i really dont feel i am there feels like all this is fake and i am dreaming. All the people i see look fake
- —Guest ussama zafar
- Since I was about 14 I've been feeling a severe lack of substance in my life, and by the time I turned 15 I went weeks eating one or no meals a day and crying most nights. One day during my morning routine I saw an extremely large insect go very quickly across one end of the kitchen to the other, and even after tearing apart the kitchen I could find no proof that it existed, and I feel like it moved too quickly for it to have been real. Every time somebody asks me if something is wrong I say I'm tired. I sometimes don't go to sleep at all, or I sleep in excess of 14-15 hours. I've found myself almost breaking into tears at school or work and I've always kept it down. I don't think of suicide because I know that if it ends up being clinical there are prescriptions I can take, but I don't have the guts to ask my parents to take me to a psychiatrist or something, and I'm under 18 and thus can't do it myself.
- —Guest Anonymous
Nowere to turn
- I didnt think i was depressed at first i thought i just having a rough patch but it just keeps goin on and on with no end insight. I feel worthless stupid guilty everyday. I make myself feel better by having one noght stands it only helps that one night and then im back to being miserable again. I fel lost confused dont know where to go what to do. I tell myself im bein dumb get over it suck it uo and move on with life. But i cant I keep alot of things to myself. I pretend to be happy for my family im good at that. I need help im tired of not bein happy like i use to be Im tired of crying over things that happened in the past that i cant get over , of waking up everyday having hope that itl get better but never does. I need help Im lost.
- —Guest gig
It took awhile to accept
- I knew I was depressed because I was high functioning at work but as soon as I came home and on my "off" days I was not interested in doing anything but sleeping. I would receive invitations to all sorts of events and although I had every intention to attend I would flake out on the day of or day before. My appetite was not good and I was having trouble sleeping. Eventually, I become somewhat forgetful and I had to ask someone to reiterate what they had just told me. I was also sad, but did not know why and I often wanted to just lay in bed, not shower or get dressed.
- I don't know whether im depressed or not. Sometimes I think or feel I am but then I tell myself that im just being melodramatic, that im trying to pretend im in a movie or something. Sometimes I think of suicidal thoughts, but then I tell myself that im thinking of death because maybe I want to be depressed. I tell myself not to be stupid and that im not depressed but I dont know. I dont have a clue what to do and im not sure if I am depressed or not. Im too scared to look for professional help in case a doctor tells me its more serious than it is, or if he tells me im just being stupid. I think im just selfish, and ungrateful for what I have, but im lost right now.
- —Guest Alister
am i depressed?
- lately i have been irritated, and i dont know why. i dont want to do anything. i feel sad all the time, and frequently cry over nothing. i get upset easily and i cant sleep. i feel tired, and fatugued day to day. i have NOT had any thoughts of suicide, but i can tell something's not right. am i depressed?
- —Guest kay
i dont want to feel like this
- im always rowing with my mother and her stepfather, imm usually going on at my younger brother i even feel as if i cant be myself around my sisters.. which im normally close to. i only feel happy whe im with my boyfriend, even thought sometimes i snap at him.. he says i dont but i know i do. i aways feel like crying, i dont see my dad very much and it kills. i dont see my friends much anymore either and im just working all the time, always busy i feel as if i bearly have time to sleep:/ yes, i have thought about 'suicide' but thats just the easy, selfish way out.. im trying to be brave im trying to put up with my family, my job, college, everything at once. its hard but i have to. i also always feel ill and drained, but in a way im very happy. just not happy where i am i feel i need to change, but i just cant
- —Guest unhappy.
- It started when I was about 14. Things at home just got worse by the day. I didn't want to burden anyone with my problems, so I just kept it all bottled up. I cut myself, scratched myself, and there were times when I just wanted to kill myself to escape all the pain and hate. I'd cry for no reason and I'd snap at anyone who talked to me. I hated everything and everyone around me. I'm almost 17 now, but things aren't any better, more like worse. But now, whenever I begin to feel sad, I try to smile and cheer myself up. The one thing that gets me through the day is knowing that I'll be able to leave in about two years so I think I'll get through this.
- —Guest Yasho
it's no use.
- I am alone, and that's not even significant. I am a psychotic: I can't empathise, and I am steeped in insanity. Everyone I know conducts lives, filled with love and at least some semblance of a median healthy lifestyle. I am useless, and not fit to be valuable to anyone. I get what I deserve, though: I have nothing to offer anyone. I lie without remorse, I manipulate without regret. I am alone, and always will be. I am not better than anyone. I am less. I am a malfunction, since my birth. I am compulsive, obsessive, and exhibit traits of ideation. I can't be helped. I can't be subdued, I can't be controlled. I am worthless. I am isolated from anyone. if I were to die tonight, I would not be missed, nor remembered. I have been abandoned, I have lost a progeny, dead before it was even born. I am just a shadow, a ghost: a figment of the universe's imagination. If I wasn't a psychotic, I would want to die now.
- —Guest Ben Albrecht