It took me a long time to know that I was depressed. Looking back, I now realize that I had my first bout of depression when I was about 7 years old. I can remember waking up day after day, hoping that today would finally be a "good day." I was quiet and withdrawn at school, didn't sleep well, and felt sad. It was several years later, however, when I took a college psychology class that I realized that what I had been feeling all those years wasn't the result of personal weakness. It was a real illness and could be treated. That realization changed my life.
How did you know that you were depressed?
what I felt...
- I am seventeen now and I have been in a prolonged state of depression since I was twelve or thirteen. The reason, as I have conjectured now lies within my own family. My parents have had a weird sort of relationship for as long as I can remember. If they had separated with harmony, I could have been spared all these pains but that simply didn’t happen. They still live in the same house though on different floors. My mother has taken up the ground floor while my father resides on the first floor. He has kicked me out of my room which was on first floor, since I spoke out in my mother's favor in one of their public quarrels. I now sleep on the drawing-room sofa with my books and clothes crammed in a corner of my mother’s bedroom. My mother is not happy with me either. In fact, she is profoundly disappointed with me. I guess, she wanted me do or be something extraordinary which would alleviate her troubles. But that never happened. Neither my grades nor my look has ever improve
- —Guest madhurima
My mom thinks I'm faking
- I'm thirteen, and I've been depressed for about a year now. One of my friends is also depressed and self-harms(just like me) and her mom talked to mine to see if I needed medication. I really think I need it, but my mom thinks I'm faking being depressed. Like, seriously. Why would I fake that. I feel like there's no point in life, and that I don't belong in this world. I haven't tried suicide, but I have carved words and symbols into my skin. As reminders that I was different as a kid, and that no one really understood me and made fun of me for it. I WANT to be reminded, so I can change who I am. Not to please them, to please me. I have tried drinking alcohol, but ended up spitting it out. Go figure. I need that medication, so I can be a happier person. It seemed to help my friend, maybe it will help me.
- —Guest Anonymous
- I am now in my mid 40s and whatever I hope for comes out the opposite. My parents divorced when I was 11. I was then sent to lousy boarding schools & though I bright in school I failed to secure room in university. Started a clerical job and went up the ranks to Sales Manager. Loved my job & worked for 1 organisation for 17 yrs. Yet I was alwys depressed. Married for 13yrs & can't have kids. Wife is about to have uterus removed. I've been out of work for 5yrs trying to start my own thing but everyhing hits a brick wall. My relationship with my dad has always been poor, he never liked me. My mum is on a wheelchair due to a car cras. I can't fend for both of them. Right now I'm so broke & bored. If anything I just conteplate suicide! I don't drink. I love my wife even without kids. I'm a believer. Of course I have very few friends. I just prefer staying alone on my bedroom. WHY SHOULD LIFE BE SO UNFAIR??
- —Guest Malawian Stig
- i feel unworthy. i have low self esteem. sometimes i cant understand my moods.. i am always irritable. i always doubt. i really dont know how to deal with this. my weight fluctuates.. and worst, i cant fall asleep easily without any help of medication. im so tired of these situations. i am a mother of two.. both kids are not with me because im working in the city. im so tired of my situation. always stressed. thinking of problems too much.
- —Guest charmsmien
i know what it is
- omg i totally no how that feels...but whenever that happens i try to change my personality( i do it intstictualy anyway) for lke a day or two or do something so random or crazy (not too destructively something you know wont kill you or hurt you) something meaningless but still different..after awhile you will go back to how youwere berfore..just a little morerefreshed just try to shock yourself(in a good way i have to reapeat) and it might help if it doesnt then try focusing on something like studying or sports it can be a outlet if you cant find a permenant solution and sometimes can cause you to end you depression
- —Guest i know what it is
- im losing life everything is slowly slipping away from me. my hobbies. passions, amything ive cared about. ikeep losing things more and more often, keep considering suicide, hating myself, my room and binders, normally immaculate are totally trashed and uncared for. ivwe just given up. help me please. i need a reason, and i feel like im begging for attention whoch makes me feel worse; cause i cant help these feelings. help me please
- —Guest depressed
We ve low life like larva
- Life is like an icecream if u won't eat it ll melt so keep taste it, dont waste it like me, after 26 years as a mba candidate i felt like am a useless, if u think like me u r enough matured & u ll get a great attitude & ll get a successful life like a low life larva... Best of luck for accomplish ur low life.
- —Guest Rasool khan
- My uncle molested me for 7 yrs when I was a child. I smile a lot when i'm with people but when i'm alone, i get very bad thoughts & become afraid that i'll hurt myself. I have thought about ending my life & tried it twice but lately, I've given myself sometime to see maybe things will get better, if it doesnt, i dont know what i'll do. I started seeing a psychologist because my boyfriend said i need help and should see one and that's how i got to know i was depressed. I feel numb. Sometimes, i hurt myself or do extreme things just to feel. I wish I could feel sad but I cant feel anything anymore.
- —Guest Anonymous
Depression hurting physically
- I am 14 and have had a hard life My mother is on her own with me and in my old Neghborhood there was a fight and a few people actually died once... I was there and watched them die...they where my friends....I lost my dog on my last birthday to a poisinous toad and multiple other things now some nights I cry and there's a pain in my chest so bad I want to kill myself...I cut myself over 14 times last night using a cleaver....please please help me....I keep wanting to kill myself daily
- —Guest Justin
imprisoned in own house
- in my childhood I couldn't learn even riding bicycle Nowadays I am just imprisoned in my house I cann't manage myself even to go to a saloon I am always afraid of people looking at me
- —Guest bee
- To daniel j, and anyone else, you're not alone and you will get through this. I will tell you, I've been through loneliness and self-destructive thoughts, mean teachers and bad friends. Whenever you're going through it, it feels like it's all there is. But no matter how much I ever felt like my life was over, I'm still here. There was something more waiting for me, and while I may have hard times again, most of life is good, you just have to get through the bad. A wise man once said, "When you're going through hell, keep going." And most of all, no matter how it feels, you're not alone. You have people who care about you. Keep going. :)
- —Guest Kate
am i depressed?
- i really dont know if im depressed, but i always cut myself. i have amazing friends. but my perents yell at me all the time. i was a only child tiil i was 13, im now i5 and my mum is pregnant again. i was her first so i was used to everything to myself. ive moved from melbourne to rosebud and all my old friends are in melbourne. and im thinking of moving out of home to my aunties in geelong, but im not sure if i should anymore. all my friends here are saying they dont want me to go. and its making it harder for me.
- —Guest karisa
- My mother has ridiculous expectations and her love is only given if those are met. I am a timid and insecure person by nature but fiercely loyal towards friends. between my mother and the rest of the jerks at school, both kids and adults I became suicidal by fourth grade and have been that way ever since. Every time I try to kill myself something happens and I survive so I have given up trying. I do not tell people how I feel because it make them sad and I never want to hurt anybody. People who find out tell me that I like to be sad and that I do what I do for attention, but most do not find out. I reached my mental limit four years ago and started to have times where my brain clicks off and I start beating myself up despite my promise to my boyfriend and it seems like more nights than not I go to bed crying. Nobody knows. Perhaps someday I will complete my purpose in life and finally get the rest I desire and save others from myself.
- —Guest Anon
You are not alone
- It's those moments where you sit silently with thoughts like freight trains speeding through your mind where it all seems to much. I turned on my computer, i was feeling low and decided i wanted to learn more about the triggers of depression or the signs. I guess i wanted some sort of confirmation for how i was feeling emotionally. When really I just want to be understood, understand myself. I think for many you don't even realise what your feeling is 'depression' 'bipolar' or any other clinical condition. You just feel something and enough around you tells you things can't stay the same. We all have a story, we can all name times, dates events where we felt changed, broken or empty. Amidst all of the lower points mentioned here there are some incredible lives who are far more braver, interesting and courageous than they like to think! In some small way, our stories reveal it might feel lonely, might feel worthless but we are Not alone I want to live, my story is worth tellin
- —Guest Blue eyes
Want my life back
- I don't know what happened..but I really don't feel myself anymore..I'm always nervous..I don't smile that much lately..I used to be a funny ,goofing person who would laugh most of the time,gossip with my friends and just have fun..now I tend to be more taciturn..I over think and I'm very overwhelmed..I think I'm going through deperession..God bliss me
- —Guest Want my life back