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By Nancy SchimelpfeningSeptember 4, 2005
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I would like you to know that my friend committed suicide last night.. If you want my truth look in JOB what did he go through? If you want to look further look in MARK, and if you would really want to look even further look into JOHN all stories will lead into truch and fiction all stories lead to JESUS and all have pain and suffering but if you look close and see that trust is the truth and pain only has reward, if you are thinking about suicide do not because in the end you will only be my enemy as I will be the ANGEL of DEATH… I will burn cities and life…
Helen – thank you – that is what I needed to hear.
god is no where it is full of follish
you’re sick, sir. You are NOT God, and suicide does NOT nullify God’s sacrifice.
Sure, Judas commited suicide, but why should all believes suffer because of what Judas did?
Suicide is not listed as the unforgivable sin in the Bible, that’s blaspheming the Holy Spirit. And if God forgives David for murdering an innocent man, I’m sure He forgives a suicide!
When you accept Christ ALL your sins are forgiven INCLUDING suicide! That doesn’t mean you should do it, but that just means you won’t be tormnented endlessly!
blaspheming of the holy spirt is the only sin that is NOT forgiven!!! if you do yourself… and can not ask of his blood!! thats his pont. i’ev seen death for myself two times. well the frist time i died 5 times. i walked out in font of a car that was movig at 70 no i did not see the light. yet i did see the hell i live. than i came back with a feeling of reason…. well that came crashing down. i cashed at the same time. i woke up in a word of pain yet again! this time i got in the car and gased myself to death. look i don’t know why i am here? all i know is i don’t want to be here like this.yet i gave my life to him so there for i must live for him. hey i can only hope i am here to hear you….
I don’t know what MAD = Money, Authority or DeoxyriboNucleicAcid (DNA) is worth because I can’t prove that TetraGramMaton = Four Graven image Magical/Material atonement = Hand Window Hook Window = YHVH = ElectroMagnetism + Weak Force + Gravity + Strong Force = Do What Thou Wilt is: 1) omnipresent, 2) corrupt and scared of being seen, 3) both or 4) neither. I don’t even know how to prove that my existence isn’t a passing dream or something a little more real than an illusion.
How can any destructible member of the anthropomorphic species of primate or human race know if blasphemy is ever really possible or relevant?
If any man destroy the temple of God, which ye are then God will destroy you.
I think hank is right. C has obviously never b een sick enough s/he wanted to die.
Once your dead, there’s no problems for you. Everyone else suffers.
Believe me. I went the GOD route….He’s not there so don’t worry about it. Suck it up, be a man and take care of business ! Stop counting on a big invisible man in the sky to make it all work out in the end, you’ll only be VERY disapointed. Great Men and Women are Made NOT Born….Suffering makes you stronger and life will get easier as you get stronger. Man up and get er done ! Things will get better.
Did it ever occur to you that there is world outside of your own ego? There are horrible things in that world that are not being solved by atheists believing in themselves.
You are clearly a spoiled brat who has either never endured true suffering or has never cared about suffering in others. Disgusting.
ok i was wondeering the same thing. Which i knwo i shouldnt question God, i found a verse that is, Eccleslastes 7:16,17, 18—16 Be not righteous overmuch; neither make thyself overwise; why shouldest thou destroy thyself?—right there! God doesnt want you to kill yourself…
17 Be not overmuch wicked, neither be thou foolish; why shouldest thou die before thy time?
18 It is good that thou shouldest take hold of the one; yea, also from the other withdraw not thy hand; for he that feareth God shall discharge himself of them all.
and also, If you take your life, why would you want to interfere with what God has given you, he’s your maker, he has a better plan for your life then you will ever be able to make without him! Go to God! trust in Him!
I intend to take my life. I have pains that I just cannot bear anymore, and I have issues I just cannot forgive God for. I do not want to live in this body, constantly hurt and tormented by people, and God seems to be the one responsible for my pains. I cannot forgive Him, I hate Him, He does not care about me, all He cares about is integrity, honor, and the universe. My eternal destination and my weakness does not matter to Him. I don’t want to go to hell, but I just cannot take it, anymore.
dont, god does love you. people have to go through hell to get to heaven. dont quit now. im sure your prob a great person
things happen in life for a reason it shapes a person into how they are, yes it might really be painful at the moment and even though it doesnt feel like it at the moment things will get better lean on god even though you dont feel it at the moment pray and ask for the angry to be gone the devil puts things in are way all the time to mmake us fill angry towards god give your pains to god and sarender you life live the life god wants you to have, i know it might seem hard at the moment , when you said about people constantly saying things to you getting tormented by it, welll i think i have come to relise that you will make friends and break friends in life there are always gonna be people that say or do things that have a real affect but just think of it like this if they say things to you relise that it is there oppinion and that an oppinion isnt a fact be proud with who you are stand up tell some one pray, and let that pain go of things that have happened in the past this may take awhile,something happened to me 9 years ago and from then i have found and still do find that there are certain things that i dont like to here or do cause i associate it with what happened but through the years i have grown as a person with the help of some one close to me and of course the lord jesus i know it is hard to see things positively but trust me things will get better as you pesue in life , my mum once told me that when the devil attacks you for such along time it is because he is scared of what god has in store for you , what you are about to grow into. please dont do anything drastic i will pray for you keep strong god bless x
I dont have an answer to where a christian goes after he commits suicide, but the Bible MAY give us a hint. It was said in the Bible about Judas Iscariot that it would be better that he never been born. not because he betrayed The Son of God, Jesus Christ, but because he went to hell. The only reason it would be better for a man not to be born is if in his afterlife, he went to hell. Judas committ suicide and went to hell. Wheather he went to hell because of his suicide or not… i dont know… all i know is he is in suffering day and night for all of eternity for some reason. It could be becuase of suicide and it could be becuase he didn’t truly believe in God. Noone will EVER know the answer to this question for sure, so if someone tells you that they are 100% sure of where someone goes, don’t believe them…. even though they say they know, they really don’t cause noone knows God’s ultimate plan. Don’t take the chance of suicide, even if you are 99.99999% sure that you will go to heaven, is it really worth the risk??? less than what, 80 more years of unhappiness (and thats at pretty much the highest end) and then an eternity of happiness, or just go ahead and end it now and risk being in hell, with satan, never to see any family, never to see a smile or receive a hug from that loved one ever again, just to be stabbed, burnt, thirsty, hungry, lonely, AWAY FROM GOD, not just for a day, week, month, year, or lifetime, its FOREVER, really think about that, you will never be happy again and never be able to escape it no matter what you do or how hard you try… if you think you hate life now, just wait till your in hell… if your a christian, please stick it out, if your not, find God, i PROMISE he will help you out. Trust me, i have gone through ALOT in the past year. 1. my younger brother was having seizures on a daily basis for about 9 months, doctors didnt know why. 2. my older brother was diagnosed with burketts lymphoma, meaning he had a 60% survival rate. 3. my dad was fired from his job that he had for 25 years becuase they were “restructuring” 4. my mom was diagnosed with sjogrens disease which is somewhat like alzheimers and a few other things, just mot as bad. 5. my grandpa was having strokes and after the last one, he said he didn’t wanna be kept alive if he had another one. 6. my grandma now cannot feel anything below her waist becuase of her neuropathy 7. my other grandpa just recently died from his multiple myloma (a type of cancer) along with his alzheimers and parkinsins. but guess what??????? my brothers cancer is now gone, my other brother was diagnosed with POTS and since being treated, hasn’t had another seizure, my grandpa hasn’t had any more strokes, my grandma is gaining feelings in her leg back, my dad found a new job that is now paying more than his old, and my mom isn’t showing any severe signs of the disease… we all trusted in God and he fixed almost all of the problems. If you just believe in him, he will help you get through this. never give up… he loves you alot… trust in him and things will get better… i promise. i hope i helped you in some kind of way and i hope that you don’t make the decision to end your life. i hope to one day see you in heaven with a smile on your face hugging your family and friends. ENJOY YOUR LIFE because you only have one.
I’ve thought about it many times, suicide that is, but like most people I think what I would leave behind. I think it would be so selfish on my part to do it. When I really look at it, there are so many people out there in the world that love me, I can only imagine the pain I would cause them. The only thing I can say is that, all you really need to do is feel God’s Love just once and you will never forget the feeling. No matter what we do, God still loves us. Think about what it takes to give yourself over to him and let him take control of your life. You may not always like what he has in store for you but if you can feel his love you will only want more of it.
If you will go to I Samuel 28: 3, 15, 19, and I Samuel 31:1-6. In I Samuel 28:3 it says that Samuel was dead. We know that Samuel went to ‘Heaven’. In 28:15 Saul indicates to Samuel (whose spirit was talking with Saul) that he (Saul) was in great distress. In 28:19 Samuel tells Saul: “Moreover the Lord will also give over Israel along with you into the hands of the Phillistines, Therefore, tomorrow you (Saul) and your sons “WILL BE WITH ME” (Samuel). In I Samuel 31:1-6 these verses indicate that Saul killed himself, but that his sons died of battle wounds. I love all these comments from people who say that if you commit suicide you go to Hell. Well, evidently after Saul and his sons’ deaths they “were with” Samuel (In Heaven)as Samuel predicted. Now, Saul did not have the blood of Jesus Christ as we do today. Salvation was not earned nor deserved by any man or woman, it was a gift given by Grace of the Lord through Christ Jesus. If we can’t earn our Salvation by works and good deeds, then we can’t lose it by works and bad deeds! I.E. Suicide. What does happen to a Christian is that Heavenly rewards are lost as a result of suicide, but not the eternal salvation. If Saul didn’t go to Hell because of his suicide, well, how can anyone who has Christ within them go to Hell as a result of suicide? Hope all those legalistic so-called Christians learn something here.
What if you have zero friends and family, you hate your job,have no one to talk to and sit at home alone every single night. I wont be passing any pain off to anyone. Everything will continue on as usual, where is my motivation not to do so?
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son,that whosoever shall believe in him shall not perish but have everlasting life John 3:16,If you were the only person on the face of the earth god would have still sent his son to die for you,thats how much he loves you,jesus tells us as christians we will have our trials and trebulations,and he says dont fear for i have overcome the world.You see the problems your faceing is because of satan,dont give satan the victory over your soul by commiting suicide,give your whole life and your problems to jesus and let him use them to glorify the father,then you will soon discover what an awesome god we serve,god will force nothing on you,what he offers is the gift of eternal life as a gift,but in order for it to be a gift we must accept it right,god gives a choice either take the gift of life or reject it.The reason we have all these bad things come into our lives is because of sin,do you want to be saved and be washed clean of your sins and let jesus to take care of these problems your haveing? If so pray these words and mean them from the heart. DEAR LORD JESUS,I KNOW IM A SINNER,I KNOW WITHOUT YOU IM LOST,FORGIVE ME OF ALL MY SINS,COME INTO MY HEART AND LIVE,TAKE CONTROL OF MY WHOLE LIFE,I BELIEVE FATHER THAT YOU SENT YOUR ONE AND ONLY SON TO DIE ON THE CROSS TO SAVE ME FROM MY SINS,AND THAT YOU ROSE HIM FROM THE GRAVE 3 DAYS LATER AND RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT I ACCEPT JESUS AS MY PERSONAL LORD AND SAVIOR AMEN. If you prayed this prayer and meant it from the heart you are saved,please contact someone at a local church and share with them your decision to accept jesus,they will help you in so many ways.Jesus will take away those problems and suicidal thoughts your haveing.Thats a promise from me.I dont know you but god does and he loves you. Will you accept him today and let him give you eternal life? or will you let satan have the victory?
Kedrick has the maost accurate explanation hitherto. In the book of John, Jesus says that he who loves his life will loose it and he who hates his life in this world will surely find eternal life. When Jesus was tempted by Satan, he offered him the world. You cannot give something that is not yours. Furthermore, in the book of John when Jesus told his disciples where he was going, he told them he would send the Holy Spirit in his stead, and he could not give the world to them due to the fact that it is owned by Satan. He said, by he who is not in me, and me not in him, meaning Satan. This is indeed a prison planet, with the Trinity as the only thing good for us to experience, not this retched world system of Satan. God destroyed us once in Genesis, and we are going to die in the book of Revelation. To kill oneself and commit your spirit to our Fahter in the name of his son Jesus Christ, shows great love of God and hate for this world. If we all commited suicide, we would save Jesus from doing what he is going to do to the earth anyway. Anyone who wants to live is doing it for pretentiuos and egocentric reasons. All you people who are pro life, why do you really want to live? To have one more date with a girl, one more kid, another meal, one more drink. Are you really living for God or your own needs?
I am thiking suicied. i never thought my life would turn out the way it has, never in my wildest dreams. I suffer from depression and have tried everything. I always seem to fall short in life no matter how hard I try. I am not happy. I do consider others feelings about me if I take my life. But I think they will get over it. I have told my own father and he does nothing. Sometimes I feel that I was put on this earth to pay for my sin in a previous life. I know that sounds far feched.
Bt I can’t think of anything else. Plain and simple, I am just a failure in everything I do. I just can’t live like this knw more. I have been thinking of suicide for 20 years.
Because my life just plain sucks. I keep saying to myself maybe not this time, maybe things will get better, I have been saying that for 20 years. Nothings changed. I prayed to god for things to change, but he has never answered me. I feel there is no other choice but to carry out ending my life.
I THOUGHT THE ONLY THING UNFOGIVEN WAS BLASPHENY.SO CANT YOU ASK GOD TO FORGIVE YOU RIGHT BEFORE YOU TAKE YOUR LIFE. CAN SOMEONE TELL ME
My 20 year old son attempted suicide last June 2007. He did some majored damage to his throat, wrist, and chest. We are still dealing with surjuries. He has had six since then. This whole things destoyed me and his brothers. His dad is useless. I am finally going back into therapy for myself. I might
have post dramactic stress. My whole body is a mess. Needless to say, when my son saw me the first time after a six hour surjery, he said, “Mom I saw the light!!” He was going straight to heaven! How many 20 year olds know about the light? My sosns are raised catholics
My husband killed him-self with a gun on Septmeber 18, 2008 and I found him. He wasa good-man only 46 years old and he never had major depression. He believed in God and I know he is heaven and I know God forgived him because he was sick. I went to therapy to get help and I still want to blamb my-self and it is not my fault- I pray one day I will get better- ANY SUGGESSTIONS
I have lived my entire life for others! Even at the youngest age I remember trying to intervene between my mother and psychotic father. Latter trying in vain to make up for all the unhappiness in my Mum’s life. Finally taking care of her in illness and spending every moment with her possible while on her deathbed. I am alone now- no purpose-a deadend job-no love. I honestly believe it’s time for me to go-move on. What I am living isn’t life, it is a void. God, the merciful, must forgive such a person as I
I THINK GOD DOESN’T PUT MORE ON OUR PLATE THAN WE CAN TAKEIV’E LIVED WITH AMAN FOR OVER 22YEARS GOT MARRIED NOW WE DON’T TALK HAVE SEX WE JUST PASS EACH OTHER AT NIGTH WHEN HE GOES TO HIS OWN BED ROOM. I HABVE ASUCH ASS JOB AT FEDEX 2HOURS A DAY. MY GROWN CHILDERN STILL LIVE AT HOME AND SIT ON THERE BUTTS TILL BED TIME. I’M CATOLIC I WAS ALWAYS TOLD GOD FORGIVES ANY ONE WHO ASKS FOR IT I HATE MY LIFE IT WOULD BE CHEAPER NOT TO BE A LIVE FOR THIS MESSED UP FAMILY AND CRAPY LIFE
Robinrdumasbeaty do you believe that God has a plan for your life? Last night my sons friend commited suicide. He thought he had no one loved him. He wanted that more than anything. He felt total hopelessness and it caused him to end it all. How can a young man get to this point at the age of 20? and how could he be so wrong and about the love that people had for him. It is their fault? I don’t think so. We are responsible for our own actions. The way we handle things. God had plan for this young man. Jeremiah 29:11 says that God has plan: to give you hope and a future,to prosper you, not to harm you. So why do so many not believe. Why do they focus on themselves instead of others. If you helping other people it takes your mind off of your self. Soon you forget how bad it is because there’s always someone else that going through much more. Doesn’t take any effcrt to find these people, they are every where just look around and quit focusing on
yourself. Why do settle for less than what God has for them…. Why are allowing you grown children to sit or lay all day. Tell them this it. Get up or get out. I know it’s not easy but something has to be done. Tell them youre starting over and that some changes are going to be made. Like it or not. As far as your husband tell him that you love him but it to has to change. Ask God for help. Are you praying every day for your marriage to be safed? I went through this I know the power of prayer. It doesn’t have to be some long lengthing prayer with a bunch of thee and thou…. Just do it
i noticed a lot of people here quoted the bible, but doesnt it feel rediculous that you would quote a book that has been rewritten thousands upon thousands of times?
No brandon, it doesn’t feel ridiculous to quote a book that has been rewritten thousands upon thousands of times. Because that book was written by the Holy Spirit who is the living, breathing spirit of God. And because of this the words of the Bible are Alive. They are truth. That is one reason why there will always be controversy over the word of God. In the NIV version of the Bible in the Gospel of JOhn, it says 1:1 “In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God and the word was God.”
Listen Zach, you will affect someone if you kill yourself. You could talk to someone somehow. You don’t have to be alone every night with noone to talk to. I think about suicide. My family is dead. I have a dead end job. I suffer from depression and on and on. I survive by doing something for someone, even if they don’t appreciate it. I talk to others about myself whether they like it or not, and most can relate and appreciate me opening and allowing them to share as well. Tomorrow…do something for someone, anyone. Join a group, call SOMEONE, do something besides contemplating suicide. If you are brave enough to kill yourself, be brave enough to face tomorrow. You never know.
I have suffered with depression and suicide for a long time. I have thought about whether or not I will go to heaven. All I can hope for is my faith in God. I know he is real and he understands the pain I am in. People tell me they know how I feel and I should just let go of things. Unless you have experienced the pain that torments me everyday, then you can’t possibly understand. How can you let go of things when they are with you all the time awake or asleep. God be with me.
Blaspheming the Holy Spirit IS the only unforgiveable sin as Helen said in 2006. Read your bibles people!
To #19 My son killed himself and I would not say it gets any better but you learn to tolerate it. As the numbness wears off you begin to feel more and you will have spells or periods of time when you become consumed but hang in there. Remember the good things about him do not dwell on what he did. They do not think far enough ahead to know the pain it leaves with us. I am sorry for you and your family. Take care………g
It seems to me that if you believe in God then you must trust God. If he wanted you dead then you would be dead,he has appointed your time and if you take your own life, you are disregarding Gods will.
I understand pain and hopelessness, but maybe God has a miracle for you. Regardless whether you live or die, I think God should make that call. God will know what is right for those that believe and trust in him. Of course if you don’t believe then you are your own final
and ultimate decider on suicide.
Suicide, such a simple word that is so profoud. I read each and every comment up to my own. THE ONLY REASON
Suicide, such a simple, but profound word. THE ONLY REASON I have not followed through, even though I have thought of many ways, is that God gave me a gift and who am I to throw it away. How ungracious I would be. I know I was meant to make choices along with His on how to cherish this gift eventhough it doesn’t always shine. I hurt often and ask the Lord to help me polish it so I can be happy and honor it. As long as God allows me this gift I will appreciate it and pray about how to share it with others. Val
What if you commit suicide to be closer to God? Like, you can’t wait anymore to be with him, to see him.
>>I intend to take my life. I have pains that I just cannot bear anymore, and I have issues I just cannot forgive God for. I do not want to live in this body, constantly hurt and tormented by people, and God seems to be the one responsible for my pains. I cannot forgive Him, I hate Him, He does not care about me, all He cares about is integrity, honor, and the universe. My eternal destination and my weakness does not matter to Him. I donít want to go to hell, but I just cannot take it, anymore.
I’m fifteen. I’ve been a child of God since I was baptized as an infant. I was raised in the church. I suffer from depression and I think about depression pretty much everyday. I would never do it though. I don’t have the strength to hurt the Lord that way. He was tortured; he died for our sins. If someone dies for you, shouldn’t you live for them? It says somewhere in the bible(i’m not sure where at) when we were put in the womb,
God designed us a plan. You have a plan!
You have a choice! Don’t give up, please. He loves you! All the people on this blog saying there’s nothing left for you, please don’t. I lost a friend two years ago 4 days before chirstmas, because he was walking to school and a speeding car hit him. You have a choice to live, to try and to strive. No one can make the choice for you, but think about those who have died without a choice?
They couldn’t say no! They didn’t get a chance to say a goodbye…
There’s so much pain in this world. It’s sick and twisted. This is because the world belong to satan. (I read that somwhere) Don’t give in to satan,please. I have faith in all the people on this planet. I care.
YES, PEOPLE HE CARES!
You’re friends, family, people you haven’t even met CARE.
But most of all GOD CARES.
HE LOVES YOU HE LOVES YOU HE LOVES YOU!
PLEASE DON’T GIVE UP,
IM FIFTEEN, AND IVE CONSIDARED SUICIDE.
BUT TONIGHT, IM GETTING HELP.
I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I’M DONE LIVING A LIFE OF FEELING WORTHLESS AND USELESS AND NOTHINGNESS.
No, I wont kill myself.
Me and my friend are gonna have a “confession session.”
Too get better, u first have to admit whats been bothering u.
if you don’t have anyone, email me.
you dont have to tell me your life, but im willing to listen to ANYONE in ANY situation.
We are all people. We all need help sometimes.
If anyone needs me:
Don’t give up, he’s with you
the depression is deep … i’ve asked Him to take it away … He hasn’t … am i being punished??? i’m closer this time …
I have attempted suicide five times: twice with pills twice times slitting the wrist once trying to stab myself in the chest. I have also almost jump off a roof more times than I can count. I know the despair and pain. I know sometimes you think that maybe god has ignored you that you are not worth saving you are exausted too tired to go on. I don’t have some great wisdom to give no great enlightenment, right know I am walking lifes path in hopes of finding that out. The best advice I can give you is to just find a reason to live it doesn’t have to be anything big it be just finishing a book or tv series the point is to just have a goal. I started out with just the goal of finishing my anime series, but as life goes on you find more reasons , I suggest that when you find a reason write it down no matter how small or silly it helps trust me. Eventually you will find a bigger reason to your life mine is to help people who have been where I was.
If anyone is going thru hard times and you feel overwhelmed you can talk to me I have attempted suicide multiple times, am a recovering cutter, have been beaten and molested by my father and other things, I tell you this to let you know that I can understand many different types of pain, so here:
And remember just because someone has a bigger wound does not mean you are not wounded, no pain is too small to matter
God loves all things he created, Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, non-believer. He does not create anything to then throw it in the fiery furnace. Read Romans 8;28, and remember during Jesus’ crucifixion, when he asked God to “Forgive them, they do not know what they are doing”. His killers were acting in the way they thought was just. They DID NOT KNOW WHAT THEY WERE DOING. Just as a person who has died from suicide DID NOT KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING. Take solace in this survivors. Those who are depressed and suicidal, please get help, go to the ER, call a suicide hotline. I do not know your pain, I only know that my brother died by suicide 2 months ago and my entire family is destroyed. My life will NEVER be the same without him and we had no idea he suffered so much. Please reach out, your friends and loved ones will NOT laugh or say you’re crazy, if they do, move onto another friend. YOu are so much more loved that you could ever imagine. My other brother may not even survive my brother’s death. i think my parents may not survive this. You don’t have to do it for someone else, get help for yourself. You will not regret it. You are loved.
My brother hung himself in my bath room three weeks ago. He was so quiet right outside my bedroom door, I found him in the morning he was there all night. He was beyond depressed, going through divorce, gambling, addicted to pain meds. He was so loved by so many people we are all hurting so much. He thought he was unforgivable. If you think you have no other option think again! There is nothing that God can’t make right.
Hello, everyone. I came across this forum while researching various methods of suicide.
Like many people on this forum, I too have reached the point where the challenges and burdens of life are just too much to bear. If I could see a way out, if I could see a light at the end of the tunnel, I’d have hope.
But I can’t see such light. There is no hope.
Like the most recent post (man hanging himself in the shower), I find myself standing in the midst of a devastated life. I was raised with Baby Boom-era values, went to college, worked hard when I could, tried to save, get ahead, life the ‘American’ life.
Now, at 45, almost 46, my life is a ruin. I haven’t been able to find a job in 6-years, after being laid off 2 weeks after burying a son my soon-to-be ex wife and I lost 6-months in-utero. Since then-countless applications, countless resume re-writing; all for nothing. Not even a single interview! All my years of work, learning, gaining skills and experience, college. . . For what? To end up broke, destitute as I am now?
In the last 6-months I’ve: had a breakdown which led to me assaulting my wife in front of our little girl. That was such a horrible thing for me to have done, that–in addition to all the other burdens I’ve been living with these last 6 years–I tried committing suicide and my sorry ass failed! As a result, I’ve spent 6-days in jail (in the backward-ass, police-state South), several days in the hospital under medical observation, wrecked my car, lost my license (thankfully I didn’t hurt anyone), have lost my daily relationship with my daughter, my marriage is ruined, I’ve sunken so deeply into debt with all the resulting medical bills and legal fees that I’ll spend the rest of my life paying them off, with no money to put aside for any sort of enjoyment of life–no luxuries here until I die!
With a DUI charge, the attempted suicide (How I wish I’d been successful!), losing my license, being out of work so long, being an African-American male in his mid-40′s (see the latest statistics about who is most unemploye? Black men!), living in an extremely stressful situation at my mother’s house, everything I do, say, think being questioned. . . Where is there joy? Where is there hope? I have LOST my hope, I’ve got too much to deal with, I want it all to be over.
I laugh with cold derision at all you ‘Christians’. So convinced of your (extremely flawed, extremely biased) Bible. Do any of ‘you’ really even know the real history of your bible? Or is it always easiest to use the end-all cop-out, “It was written by the Holy Spirit and as such is without error.” BS! Ever heard of the Council of Nicea? Which resulted in the literal ‘Europeanization’ of Christianity? Led to the creation of a Jesus with Aryan features (when there were no people of Aryan features during Jesus’ time–other than the Romans)? The documented biases under which the King James Bible was ‘translated’? So many Christians don’t bother to question their faith, don’t even know the real history of their faith, yet are so ‘knowledgeable’ and quick to tell us to ‘Give it over to Jesus!”
I’m sick of hearing about God and Jesus. I gave most of my life to ‘them’–praying and reading the Bible religiously from 1980 until the last couple of years. I lost a parent early in life, and I resolved then to always have ‘God’ be a part of my life, and not just call on that alleged entity only during times of loss.
But, you see: during my deepest, darkest, worst periods, there WAS NO GOD. There WAS NO JESUS. There was NO supernatural or Godly power that showed itself while I was in the midst of consummate misery. There was no healing, no peace, nothing other than a ringing, blatant SILENCE!
Yet I’m surrounded by the religiously brainwashed–people constantly telling me to ‘pray’ to ‘read the Bible’, etc. A bible I’m well-versed in and have read countless times (for all the good it’s done).
I have seen no proof of any God–certainly not any loving God who gives a damn about us (especially not us Black folks a.k.a. Niggers–who are so slavish about worshipping a God who loved Black folk so much he gave them a simply fantastic history these last 400 years). I’ve finally become resentful and hostile towards such responses. There is no God or Jesus for some of us. I guess, just like God plays favorites in the Old Testament, so too does ‘He’ have those who He really just wants to suffer (seems like more of us suffer than not). I guess if I were Jewish I’d be one of the ‘chosen’? Then again, Jews have never had it good either, so what kind of God is it anyway? Violent, bloody, jealous, destructive, ambivalent, absent, a game-player. . . That seems to be the sort of God Christians serve.
Anyway: I just tune that garbage out. Those of you content in your Judeo-Christian mythology, remain so. I envy you more than you can know! It would be so easy to put all my problems off on some imaginary being, waiting for ‘it’ to one day make everything all right.
Back to the topic: suicide. You ‘Christians’, you need to understand that for many of ‘us’, your reference to the Bible is like referring us to some comic book. Many of us can’t live in blind faith (and ignorance in my opinion), waiting upon some (absent, game-playing) God to intervene and stop the pain and suffering.
For some of us, talk is emptiness. There is no way out, other than death. As for those who are left behind? One thing I’ve learned–life goes on. They adjust, they adapt. Am I to live another 20-30 years in misery and poverty? Paying off debt, never having any sort of life? My dreams have been shattered and I can’t see any point of living in what is essentially going to be indebted servitude until I die.
This is not the life I anticapted, not the life I worked for, not a life I am willing to accept. Apparently I’m useless to the workforce, so I haven’t any hope of getting my life back on track (money plays a huge part in life). In the last year, tons of people are finally experiencing the frustrations and loss I’ve been living with for 6 years now (with no end in sight). I hope all of them have better luck than I have getting jobs.
You tell me: how am I supposed to live? On what? How am I supposed to give up the values, aspirations and expectations of a lifetime and be content doing ‘whatever’ just to keep going through these oppressive days?
No light ahead, no sense of hope? The Langston Hughes poem asks, “What happens to a dream deferred?” I am what happens; people like me who say, “To hell with this cruel joke (life)!”
I don’t know a great many things. But what I DO know after living through all of this hell of the last 6-years: you ‘Christians’ can take your Bible and theology and, well, I’m sure you know where it can go. . .
Life is difficult. For a great many humans, it’s an awful, depressing, cruel joke. There is no rule saying we must live failed lives. We do what we must to end our pain.
You are a self-absorbed scumbag and, therefore, do not deserve any sympathy. I doubt you ever cared about another person for so much as a single second in all of your wasted life.
Listen, This is simple, just ask Jesus,God, and the holy sprit to fix what ever mess your in, or ask them to take your life, just do ask them with a open mind, and listen to your enterself, that’s where they/He will speak to you, and by the way, if you seem to hear alot of words, that’s because he as alot to say, it may take hours for you to get his reasoning. The meaning for life is to fallow him, and to be with him later forever. Do not let people know what you pray for, if you get rewards fom man, you won’t get them from God…
My son took his life at the age of 19. At the time everyone said he seemed fine, always smiling and cheerful. He kept his true feelings hidden from everyone. I read and hear so many different things about people taking their lives, and that they will burn in hell for doing so. My son was a good young man. He lived his life fully, and loved so deeply, made lots of friends and was always smiling. I cannot truely understand or figure out why he would take his own life. He was brought up in a catholic home, kept a holy cross with him in his wallet and believed in GOD. After his death, I prayed, we all did, family and friends, to save him from purgatory and asked GOD to have mercy on him, to forgive him for taking his life. If my son was not meant to leave this earth, he would have not succeeded in taking his life, GOD would have sent him back that morning, my son would not have gone through it, but GOD took him into his arms, 6:30 am on February 23, 2009…
Been deeply depressed since I was little….been struggling with it my whole life….if I could have proof I’d be with God in the morning……..I’d be leaving tonight…..I hate life….even during the ups….I hate this place….we all are just dragging along!!!!!! God forgive me….I love you Jesus….
why is it deemed so wrong to kill ones self? we areall going to die, some before others, some “before their time” what does one man know better for you than you? This life gives us many beutiful things, but are they all just a form of punishment when they are taken by the tempter, like a child given a wonderfull new toy, to have it taken away for punishment, to cause dispare. What do we have do gain or loose in this place? If we leave this place with the knowledge of a loving god whom we have asked into our lives, then we leave this place as whole men who have a place with that god. I dont believe it matters when we leave, as long as we leave with that knowledge.How or why we leave is unimportant, we all take our souls to god…
As far as I am concerned, All religious piety that humans display stems not from a love of god, but from their charactor defective fear of dieing, and of course the malignant lie of going to hell. It really does not take too much curiosity to see through the treacherous and lieing tentacles of those three that have caused so very much detriment and agony to the earth and its inhabitants. Christianity, Islam, and Zion are those three, with at least half of the population of the earth as adhearants. You may think I’m a biggot or prejudice. Quite the contrary, for, at least I realize that it’s not the slaves but the tyrany of the written word of man that is to blame. Though, we are responsible for our actions against and treatment of our fellow humans and the innocents ( the animal kingdom ). One way or the other this is obviously a planet based on the idea of death as a means to life. How is it that god would find pleasure in the aroma of burning flesh. Those who can think will read of this in your book. If you think hard about it, you will see that all the love you have been giving ” has all been meant for you”. We cry and whine for ourselves, not for the deceased. What father would torment his child, no matter how bad he has been, eternally in a fire? What is it going to take for us to wake up? My wish, for one example, is that more people would be curious as to the thought, Just how hot is it at the center of the sun?
So people believe in God because they fear dieing. I might not be religious but that is a completely moronic statement from a scumbag.
It’s such a shame that good people lose their lives every day while worthless sacks of dung like yourself continue to eat up resources. Do the world a favor and kill yourself. Please!
If destroying the temple which is our body is a sin, meaning suicide is the unforgivable sin, than smoking is a sin as well! It is a slow suicide.
I am suicidal. And all the different christions say something different.
I am a follower of christ and a survivor of suicide. I had suicidal thoughts for about 2 years and got help with my church, mental clinic, and family. God finally answered me and knew what I was going through in my hard time of struggle. His answer was hope….and found out that there is hope in hope for a better life. Watch the music video called hold on by Good Charlotte….really has a message for all people dealing with depression, anxiety, and suicide thoughts.
The bible says that God gave men the gift of “FREE WILL”. Maybe deciding if we live or die is part of that free will. We cannot add one inch to our height but we can end our own lives? I think that God gave men the power to end their lives so they could do it when they think they had enough, of course, we don’t do it out of fear of the unknown. I feel so much pity for humanity. We don’t know where we came from, we don’ know where we are going, and yet, we keep on living this so called life like puppets. One thing I must say, if there is a God He should be ashamed of Himself. He should be put on trial, for cruelty to children and disregard for all of human sufferings.
No one even mentioned the fact about people who have attempted suicide from reactions to medications whether they survived or not or are still forced by doctors to continue in treatment with those meds and how are they to cope with that. Is that Gods will.
God is the most kind of all..if you ask him to forgive you before comitting suicide maybe he could shed his light to you and offer you onother life..changes can uccur even at a precipies moment of our life..so maybe we could change our mind b4 committing this sin..to those who will..plz..try to speak to him first..and think it 75 tyms b4 entering the kingdom of hell in death
I don’t know who u r marvie anne but the only sin is blasphamie and you sound confused to beable to judge others the way you did and you really need to get into the word before you begin to give advice. God is forgiving and He is the author and the finisher His is the beginining and the end He knows my destiny and everyone elses who is concerned for their destiny and now matter how confused the master of confusion will be taken care of by God. If we could only grasp that we can take it one day at a time and trust and hope and leave it in Gods hands even though we are angry that it doesnt always go our way because we survived so many horrible crimes and adversities against us and begin hating ourselves and turn that toward God that is natural if you read psalms. proverbs is wisdom. romans shows promise and phillipians helps to teach against anxiousness by in everything prayer and thanksgiving. with what I have been through this was a positive turn in my life to write. So I know there is hope.
I am going to go home,… commit suicide. I honestly believe that my salvation depends on it. We all know this world is tainted by darkness, hence all the misery we see. I believe some people are darkened by this world to the point of total corruption, and yes I know no-one is beyond God’s help, but if we are so corrupted will we accept it? Anyway as I was saying it is at that point our soul is on the line, death of our soul or death of the body,…. what would you choose? If we fall to darkness we are dead to God, wouldn’t you rather go home to God? We all assume that in the throws of death we can not ask to be absolved of the sin,….BS I ask daily for forgiveness for the murder I am going to commit, I know he hears me, I know he understands the poison that flows through my soul, and those of you believe he would let me go into hell for choosing salvation? Suicide to end poison of the soul like a terminally ill patient is a natural death. Killing yourself to teach others a lesson is wrong but you can still ask to be absolved in the throws of death. Now don’t get me wrong I don’t advocate suicide I am just saying that God is love and in that love he will understand what drove you to end your life. Like all sins there is a clause of reason, like will you burn in hell for stealing a piece of bread to survive, when there was no other way? I don’t think so. Not everything is as black and white. Not everyone will burn for their suicide just as not everyone will ascend either. It all will boil down to 3 factors, 1 have you accepted Jesus? 2 Do you feel that you have no choice and beg forgiveness as you do it? 3 What was the principle factor in your decent into death ? I want to live I really do, I feel loss at all the things I will be missing out on, but those who live for themselves, those who try to hold on to their lives will lose their lives as Jesus said. I let go of my life to gain life. I leave a message to to others to fight the darkness, I show them what it has done to me. I was blind to what was happening to me, but now its too late fight it off. Some would say God will rescue me now,…. he is by my free will to come home to Him. I suffer from a spiritual disease that by my own will I nurtured, blind to what it really was till alas I have no choice but to die and purge it from me. Those of you who can not see that there is always an absolute answer, yes or no will never see the whole picture. I honestly pray right now that those who can be spared death by suicide be spared, and that those like me find Jesus at the other side.
i hope your alive still. I tottally understand your pain and as you wrote this along time ago, I hope things are looking a little better for you. It is written as a test of faith we win we lose. plz get back to me and let me know how you are doing?
I have been depressed a very long time. It may be a chemical imbalance, but that doesn’t make it any less overwhelming. I think about suicide all the time. I’ve planned it, and I have the means. One of the things that keeps me from doing it is that I don’t know whether you go to hell or not. Maybe that’s a good thing. Also, what if I fail and just end up brain damaged. That might be worse than my life is now. I lost my job 14 months ago and have only had 2 temp jobs since than that paid very little. I got an eviction notice today. I have no place to go, no one to turn to. However, somewhere deep inside of me there is still a glimmer of hope. I attempted suicide once before, about 14-15 years ago. It should have worked, but it didn’t. Perhaps that because God does have a plan for my life. Perhaps all this trouble is so I can help someone else who is going through something like this; so I can tell them that God will see them through this. God never promised us things would be “a bed of roses.” I know all of the 12-step programs have the mantra “one day at a time.” Well, sometimes I have to take one hour at a time. Suicidal thoughts are something I have to fight constantly. I believe Satan puts these thoughts into our minds, and Satan is very, very powerful, but he is not as powerful as God. God wants you to trust Him and sometimes He lets you go through awful, terrible things to teach you that you can trust Him. Completely surrendering your will is one of the hardest things for human beings to do; but that is what God wants us to do. I don’t know what I will end up doing. I believe in God, and I do not think He wants me to commit suicide; however, it is still my choice. You can only think of ending the pain and the relief you’ll feel when it is gone. Well, you won’t know the relief of the pain because you’ll be dead and won’t feel anything. I know that my daughters, sisters, and friends would be devastated if I killed myself. Okay, I guess they would be able to go on with their lives, but that grief and pain would stay with them forever. Is it worth hurting the people I love? I don’t know. I’m awfully tired of fighting this battle every day, every minute. I believe in God and I believe he loves me more than any human being will ever be able to love me. It’s awfully hard, though, to keep fighting. Well, we’ll see…
Hi. A very close friend of mine hung himself 4 weeks ago after suffering 20 years with depression. Although i am greiving for him, it in no way compares to the utter devastation his wife is suffering who now also suffers from suicidal thoughts. Any of you out there who is suicidal, please, i beg you to stay strong and not do it, this is not for any religious reasons but for life itself. I myself have tried suicide 3 times with the first being as a 13 year old taking 88 paracetamols that wasn’t found out until i’d collapsed. i was very lucky although i didn’t beleive this at the time. It is only now i realise how much i had to live for and no matter how bad life is at the time, it can pass. I’ve experienced depression during the last few years but i no it’ll not always be there and it can pass with help and support. I am a firm beleiver though that when your time is up, its up no matter how you die but it seems so wrong that people should commit suicide when there is people out there who are desperately fighting for life. I’m not particuarly religious but i have an open mind and sometimes think there is a god and heaven and sometimes think there is not. If there is a god and heaven then i hope that he does forgive people who commit suicide. I no i like to think that my friend has gone to heaven and he is pain free and at peace with himself. Stay strong everyone, surely at some point things will start to look up for you, there is only so much bad luck a person is dealt with
I lost my fiance Rick to suicide … I have prayed for him, hoping he made it home safely. Lately however I have found it hard to live without him, and I myself have thought about suicide. I am lost, I worry about him and I’m scared of my future without him. I feel there is nothing left for me here, I miss him very much, I live in great pain daily … I am tired.
hi my name is danny n i have depression n many suicidal thoughts i relate to almost everyones situation here n wen i read these messages bout god n hope love n faith it makes me forget bout depression but da next day it comes bak n i cant take this life anymore i know im young to think dat but know one understands wat tragedy im goin through help me god all these relationships family my life n especially LOVE are killing my soul n its an unbearable feelin i have set dates to end my pain n am afraid to do but b4 i do i will pray to god n ask him to forgive me me for wat ive done n hope he blesses my family n i love my family very much but its time for me to end this pain i love everyone in the world i will be watchin n protectin my family from heaven where i hope to bless dem n protect………..GOD JESUS PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR MY SIN I PRAY………………DANNY
I am a Christian and know I am saved. I am not happy I don’t blame God I made these miserable choices. I definitly don’t want to go to hell at all. That scares me. Hell is definitly worse than this miserable life. My life is a miserable one. My kids bitch and complain, my wife never talks to me or associates with me. Everyday I come home to ungrateful people. I am not real happy. Today I stood at the edge of a creek in my bare feet and pouring down rain, contemplating jumping in but became a coward and did not do it. I wish I had the guts to end this miserable existence!!!
I believe in God and accept that Jesus Christ is My Savior. However, life I cannot handle. I am the black sheep of my family; I lost custody of my kids to Children & Family and they have been adopted. I can’t get a job. I don’t believe in myself. I am ugly and overweight I feel that I am a waste of God effort. Yet to pretend I am ok which is tiring. I only feel better when I think of death and feel like shit when people convince me not to go thru with it. Those of you who think that suicide is wrong for what ever reason need to re-evaluate their point of view. You are not in that persons mind, heart, and spirit. In addition, if you use the Bible in order to prove that it is wrong to commit suicide then you are wrong. You can’t say for a fact that is what God feel or his truth. The Bible/ Godís word is the truth and honestly if he wanted to say suicide is wrong or unforgivable then the bible would have said that but it doesnít . He tell you straight forward when it comes to certain thing/subjects. In addition ,stop reading between the lines, of the Bible because you donít know. In all the cases of suicide in the bible it does say the person commits suicide but The bible doesnít say for sure after that. God reveals thing to you when the time is right. Those of you who say it is wrong to commit suicide for whatever your reason is need to be quiet because you cannot change that persons circumstances nor make all the pain go away even if you did have the power and knowledge to. I donít blame God for the path of my life to be honest I blame myself. What I do believe is whatever the after death outcome a person must be willing to face it. And soon I will be able and willing to find out.
To ‘Fed up woman’,
The fact that you are on this site and writing about your feelings suggests to me that you are looking for some answers and perhaps to an alternative to taking your own life (as am I) – otherwise why bother to argue your point of view? I take that as a positive action on your part.
You say that you do not blame God for the path your life has taken but that you do blame yourself. I think that is very good, and very powerful – because it means that if you could shape your life into its current UNhappy state, then you have the power to shape it into a HAPPY state. YOU have the power to get into the physical shape you want for yourself; to seek support and perhaps medicine to help with your sad toughts; to find a job that you can get and like; and to be happy.
I, on the other hand, tend to feel that God has made this path that I’m on – which only leaves me feeling powerless. Your perspective has helped me to realize that I can change my own life for the better. I don’t know how I will do that but if it is me that made this path then it is me than can change it.
As for what happens when we die and whether we go to hell if we take our own lives: I’ve read a lot about near-death experiences and true accounts from those who have been pronounced dead but were subsequently revived. I started reading that stuff when my brother died and I wanted to know what happens to a soul when it leaves the body.
As a result of that research, I have formed a personal philosophy that what we experience in death is the ultimate and magnified version of what we live here on earth. For example, if we try to be good people, and we strive to live a fulfilled and loving life, then in death we are met with overwhelming love. If we are in emotional agony and consumed by dark thoughts here in life then we are met with a magnified version of that in death – which can be percieved as experiencing hell.
While I read the countless stories of near-death experiences, it became clear that that people who experienced ‘hell’ had lived an unhappy, self-hating, and self-destructive life. Only a few of those who experienced ‘hell’ had taken their own lives – the others had died of other causes such as road accidents. This suggests that hell is not necessarily a place to which we could potentially go when we die, but rather is a place within ourselves, within our own souls, into which we dealve when we die.
If our inner self tends toward peace then that is what we experience – in life and in death. But if our inner self tends toward pain, self-hate, and fear then that is what we experience – in life and in death.
That means that death (whether by suicide or other causes) will not end the agony – rather it will engulf us in that agony. Our only way out is to try to feel peace IN LIFE. If that means getting help, getting medicine, meditating, exercising, changing our diet and working hard to change our way of thinking – then that is what we must do.
Just my humble thoughts. I’m trying to make sense of things for myself so that I can start leading the life I want to lead.
Reading all the comments here,is saddening we all need to hang in there,this life is just temporary anyways..I always pray for this life to cease because it’s just so sad and miserable here..but we have no right to take our life or another..it’s just not for us to decide..
Hmmmmm…. You know I’m to the point where I’m so fed up with life I really don’t care about where I end up in the afterlife. “Oh but you will once you end up in hell, or when you stand before God” you say. Well then, why can’t I care now? Why is it that only when I die I want to live and while I live I want to die. What cruel sky dwelling deity put me in this predicament? You can’t answer my question because there is no answer. Let’s cut the bullshit yeah? Heaven and Hell are right here on Earth and o
my son commited suicide. he was a christian. i have launch a website to tell his story. i would like to show you the reasons why i believe he is in heaven today. the website is depression-suicide-help-outreach.org
I came on to this site, maybe like some others, in trying to come to terms with suicde.If one post could sum up how I feel it would be post #41 Another View. I know all about unemployment, debt, losing family (my mother and 2 aunts in less than 2 years – now I have NO family left), WAITING for it to get better, and the pain of thinking ‘is this it’, the loss of dreams and the fact that you have the rest of your life to try and pay your debt and just exist and I too have become very cynical about God as I was brought up in the Catholic faith and all my deceased family were Catholic.
Im not courageous enough to take my life – if I did I wouldnt be writing this – Id do it – I dont even know if its about fearing God anymore as I would have commmited a mortal sin – If I could go to sleep and never wake up – If I could be with my family who would love me and ease my painful thoughts then Id take that offer.
Do I beleive in GOD??? I do, I think I still do
Do I have blind faith – I dont have blind faith – I cant swallow it as it seems I would have to accept Gods plan and it seems to me also that God does have his favourites on this earth and you dont have to be all that good a person – to be one of them – or am I to believe that it is Satans reward that good things happen to bad people –
I hope Another View is doing OK for his little girl as even thou he is where he is – his daughter is still is young enough to need him.
My friend sylvia just commited suicide, I just found out it was 8 days ago. I feel so bad about losing her. She was sick (liver problems). She left a husband and a 15 yr old daughter. I also was contimplating suicide, but now I feel the pain of her suicide. I cheated on my baby we were together 26 years. I lost her and my children none want anything to do with me. I deserve what I am getting.
Depressed? Yes I am its been 14 months since I’ve seen any of them or heard from them. The pain of ones actions(sins) affect so many others. Is it right to kill ones self? I’m praying that the lord takes her to be with him and for all you na sayers GOD can do anything!!!! including taking someone who has commited suicide home. I’ll pray for her until I die. Which will no longer be by my own hand. Going to get rid of my gun. I am choosing to wait for GOD to take me. I am by the way not saved yet but he who believes shall be saved. Doesn’t say when though. She stopped her pain but by what she did she has given her pain to her husband,daughter,family and many friends who cared and loved her. That little girl will now suffer for the rest of her life. I hate to say it but suicide equals selfishness. DON’T DO IT.
Where is Gods Love and Support for the people who feel sucide on this earth as he supposingly has the ability to help?
If you dont have family to leave behind then why should you not take your life – if your feel your life is beyond living. In my most humble opinion, and from believing (it seems foolishly) strongly in the past of the love and support of God……..God takes from those who need it and gives to them that dont………I dont care what ANYONE says – there are people in this world who are bad/corrupt/selfish people and yet they have all manner of rewards, yes money Ok( not just that), family, personal success, health etc etc etc- so it is an exceptionally bitter pill to swallow when God really loves and supports you and allows this life to treat you so badly and not to help you when you cry out to him and yet the next person beside you may lead a ‘charmed life’ whether evil or not…. Cmon………and the real joke in all this – is when you die and your sins are assessed – the person who has not suffered in their life might get in to the kingdon of God along with you – and youve had nothing but misery on earth!!
As was said on on this site “Life is difficult. For a great many humans, itís an awful, depressing, cruel joke. There is no rule saying we must live failed lives. We do what we must to end our pain”
Sucide maybe is not the answer – but no one has the REAL answer about God and Suicide and so devastatingly for some sucide seems the only option! Im sorry, truly sorry for those people – cos I know how that can feel! – No matter what ANYONE says NOONE walks in my shoes and feels what I do – and I dont know who (my family are all dead and I once thought God did) has the right to judge my actions!
My brother, my protector, my rock killed himself. I’m lost. Why? He promised he wouldn’t do it although he was very depressed. I wonder if he went to heaven. I pray he went to heaven. How could God let him do it? WHY? I miss him more everyday. It hurts to even think about him. I’m the administrator over his STUFF. I go through it and I wonder WHY. Its a never ending question. I wonder why he lied and killed himself knowing that we needed him. He doesn’t even know how much he was loved. Did he care? Did he love us? Did he not see that there was light at the end of the tunnel? Was there something I could have done or said that would have changed his mind? Did I let him down? If you’re thinking of killing yourself let me say this–the questions that your loved ones will ask theirselves are endless and heartbreaking. Rethink it. I’ve asked myself so many questions that I’m driving myself crazy!!! And still I’m heartbroken and I don’t have him to talk to. Why?
i will kill myself not today or tomorrow but it will come. my wife left me and is fileing 4 divorse i can not bear anymore pain i have 6 children with her ages 16 to 5 i am at fault here not her most of my life i have wanted to die i amm almost 45 but 40 of those years has been torment
The truth is no “man” knows and the Bible doesn’t tell us about suicide. “Man” makes leaps based upon a guess of what he thinks the Bible says. I will end my life just a few short days from now and in my situation it would be more selfish to stay rather than to go. It’s just time to go and no less part of God’s plan than if I died of a disease. Trust in the Lord and he will provide a way out isn’t always true for every circumstance. Sometimes suicide is what God provides. In most cases it is better to stay and fight, but I simply have no fight left within me. Worn out and used up by life and not enough years left to fix the mess, pay off the IRS, the bills and recapture my career. Therefore I’m just a burden to those I love and those that love me. The people giving all the upbeat “hang in there it will get better” advice are not standing the other person’s shoes. In the end it’s not for them to judge and every individual comes to whatever decision they make alone. Let each person be and come to their own decision. Mine took more than 7 years. I’ve thought it through and the time has now come. Peace be with you all and may you find some joy if you stay, but if you don’t stay I’ll not judge you. It’s not my place . . . get right with God before you go and he will stand by you in heaven.
I hope you read this before you do make this great mistake. I’m a survivor of a recent suicide…my wife of 29 yrs. No one saw this coming…no one.
The pain you feel now does not compare to the pain everyone around you will carry for the rest of their lives. You are very important to your family, more than you may realize, plus you are young and will miss out on many things that will be treasure to you in the future.
I’m sorry that you and your wife have split up but trust me the pain you feel now will blow over in the coming months, less and less each month.
I’m in deep, deep pain and depression every moment of every waking hour, but I know that there is a day coming this pain will blow over. I’ve been down the road your on (not with 6 kids) but the road of pain of marriage seperation. It’s tough road but do-able and your tougher that you think.
I suggest you go talk to a Pastor at a church and spill your guys out. Can’t hurt, only help.
but whatever you do…please consider the lives you will damage forever by ending yours.
God Bless you Shane, and I’ll be praying for you and your family starting right now.
#64 wrote: “I hate to say it but suicide equals selfishness. DONíT DO IT.” I disagree. An old friend who’s brother committed suicide many years ago said: “I don’t know if he was a coward or exceptionally brave; it may be cowardly to take the easy way out, but it takes guts to complete the act” Suicide isn’t against God’s wishes; but it is against some people’s wishes.
When a person suffers for a lengthy period of time, feelings about life begin to change and one considers if it is really worth it to go on. Not everyone has someone in life they can depend upon; sometimes being alone is sufficient to say all is over. Sometimes, I think it is selfish of others to demand that a suffering individual remain in this world. The point is: what is really going on for the person considering suicide? And, in reality, when the call for help is made and there is no answer (either by man or God) the silence is deafening–it merely defines the fact that there is no help. When there is no help, then who really cares????
I think that this comment from CM is spot on #71 – at last someone who actually gets it that – ‘when the call for help is made and there is no answer (either by man or God) the silence is deafeningĖit merely defines the fact that there is no help’. I have no family and if tomorrow I committed suicide – I wouldnt be hugely missed Ok but Id have committed a mortal sin in my faith but then I think of a fickle God who SEEMS to give and take when it suits him and how I struggle to renounce him out of my life as how can I not an entirely stupid person believe this mumble jumble and believe that all what is happening is Gods plan when there is CLEARLY no pattern Ė I feel stupid to pretend to believe this and feel scared not to. I admit Im caught between the hopelessness of my life (for many reasons)and the final outcome if God does exist and I have willingly taken my life. For the constant battle daily in my life – it would have been easier not too have had any faith……………….for again ‘the call for help is made and there is no answer……
My husband took his life this weekend. I believe now that he was sick and didn’t know how else to end his pain. How can a loving God judge him for that? I believe he’s still here because he fears his final action was sinful. I believe we can help him turn and find the light of God and everlasting peace. I believe OUR love for him can help him find and make his peace with God so he can move into his next, beautiful life.
While I believe in God and the truth of the bible I find it hard to believe in Christianity. I was raised a Christian and because of my parents belief in ‘doing good’ for others I was sexually abused for 4 years by someone they helped.
I was introduced to drugs by someone at church which led to an early adulthood of dangerous and violent ways.
The first girl I was going to marry (whom I met at church) cheated on me with my best friend (also from church) and turned everyone else in our group on me as if I did something wrong.
I can’t believe some of you people actually believe God punishes people in hell for eternity. You are so full of crap and have ZERO idea who God is.
Jesus came to show us the Father. Do you really think the person recorded in the New Testament whose name is Jesus is the sort of person who would punish people in hell for eternity. You’re deluded and on a dangerous path.
Have a good read of Revelation. It is the Revelation of Jesus Christ. People who follow what their churches teach are like lambs being led to the slaughter.
God expects us to sort out our own salvation, not let the church do it for us.
I’m not perfect and I never will be. Jesus is perfect. I have thought seriously about suicide many times and still do. I reason that God would not want me to do that so I choose not to. The feelings don’t pass and it’s like living in hell. I have prayed about this more than you could imagine but the sadness and hatred of life don’t go away.
Why do I keep going. Because Jesus said that those who preservere until the end shall be saved. It’s trust in what He said that keeps me going. Nothing of myself or my church or anything else.
One day sin will be done away with. All the rubbish in my head will be gone and I will see my Creator face to face. The wicked will be dead along with Satan and his forces and peace will abound everywhere.
I do not believe that God nor Jesus nor The Holy Spirt wants anyone to commit suicide. However, what some Christians seem to forget is that mental illness is a very serious disease in this world. Those who commit suicide are for the most part in an enormous amount of mental anguish, and in their minds the only way out of their torment is to end their life. I find it appalling that Christians would automatically assume the someone who kills his or herself would go to hell. Only God knows what is in the hearts of man. Maybe the suicide was a way to spare pain for someone’s family? To save a life? If I recall from Scripture, the only forgivable sin the the sin against the Holy Spirit. Before anyone condemns (and unjustly judges) someone for committing suicide, I would thank the Lord that he or she has not gone through the torture and mental anguish that would precipitate the feelings one would have to end his or her life. Many of you who think you know everything about god should pray to find some compassion and understanding. I have a feeling there are many things about God we will never fully understand until it is our time.
JD…couldn’t have said it better myself. I’m in total agreement with you.
JD – I couldnt have said it better myself – what a clear perspective your comment was – thanks
I am going through a difficult period myself and I have contemplated suicide as the easy way out. When first faced with the problem all I could think was of the different ways to do it, but amidst all of those thoughts of suicide there was one of hope, which was to find God (truly find Him) and seek refuge and strength with him, and I immediately felt a fuzzy warm feeling. I was raised Catholic as a kid, but never got into it, I did not like to go to church, etc. I never did find a relationship with God and became selfish and lived my life the way I wanted. Now, as I am going through my troubles I have started a new journey into understanding faith and what it means to have a relationship with Jesus. I am learning to let go of my selfish nature and let Godís will into my life. The way I see it is not to wait for God to tell you what to do, but instead keep God in mind with whatever you do in life or whatever life throws at you. I read some of the posts and many feel alone, but that is just a state of mind because God exists so we can never be alone. Jesus wants to be our friend and live with us so that we can day by day be more like him. God loves you and will never leave you alone if you ask for him.
I am still afraid and depressed about my current situation, but I keep searching God for help and strength to get me through for nothing lasts forever, and so I started reading the Bible for the first time. There are many stories in the Bible of people going through tribulation, but always trusting in their relationship with God and Godís promise. There are many miracles in the Bible and miracles happen all around us today so keep your hope up and keep praying. There are many things in life that can make you sad and depressed, but if you search deep inside you can find a few things that keep you alive, maybe happy memories or things in your life that you can give thanks to God for. If you cannot truly find any happy thoughts, just think of God, His promises and the love He has for you. A good way to start is by reading the Bible and relate your life to the lives of those mentioned in it.
Having suffered from depression off and on since a teenager I have thought of suicide numerous times. I am now in my sixties and pretty much think of it on a daily bases. I’m suffering from several physical problems none of which are life threatening some of which I believe have been brought upon by drugs used to help with depression, etc. Doctors have not helped but now I have numerous medical bills. My husband gets some work, but I work less because of my pain. I feel like I’m plodding through life staying alive so I don’t hurt my family, but I’m finding it harder to stay alive for others. I have to admit I’m afraid of death not knowing what lies beyond. I’d like to think there is a merciful God, but don’t know. Someone mentioned if you live a peaceful life you’ll live in a peaceful afterlife. Apparently, this person is not aware of mental illness. It is not a character flaw but an actually illness which can be hereditary. My sister was spared form it but my brother is bi-polar and I’m uni-polar. I will try to pray to God more to help me through this daily torment. Wish me well.
im 19 and i want to commit suicide because the one person who truly understood me and knew what i was going through has gone. I want my life to end so bad but i do love and believe in god and i dont want him to hate me if i commit suicide.
So much positive and negative said here-read them all as my will to go on has gone for me as well. I know that the terrible pain that I am is NOT God’s fault~ I am living in the natural consequences of my free choices.
My Lord sees all sins equally-He is perfection~anything short is sin. He doesn’t assign points~they are equal and the same. Thus, thoughts of stealing are the same to Him as the acts of a serial killer. The only sin unforgivable has been covered~seems fitting. The Lord sends His Holy Spirit to assist, guide and become part of someone AND they reject it.
I have been suicidal all my life and have lived after each and every attempt. I look back and can see what I would have missed if I had succeeded. I need to do more of that now! I am spending too much time dwelling on the horrors to come, not staying in the moment or the present.
My triggers are Always~ relationships, money and health. All of my triggers are out of control now and escape feels like the only way…I am working on NOT trusting emotions. I gotta do the basics of therapy~look at the facts~examine the thoughts that you are accepting blindly and reacting~ use my thoughts and what I know is true to form my response to life. All of my suicides attempts were reactions, not responses. Depressing and hopeless thoughts lead to depressing and hopeless feelings and actions.
I pray for us all to receive help in whatever manner it comes. I pray we recognize it when it comes. I pray what we know makes it to the point of our hearts and out of just ‘head knowledge’. Everything is subject to change at anytime~without our permission or approval…Lord change us all for the better.
I am afraid if I take my life i will go to hell. I am clinically severely depressed. I am in therapy and also on medication and on good days i am fine, but on bad days, i think of suicide. and i just want to know if God is a loving God, and created us with all our flaws and weaknesses, wouldnt he have some compassion when someone makes the decision to end their life? I talk to God all the time, he knows what I go through. Will he be angry if I kill myself? I’ve done some good things in my life. I don’t consider myself a bad person. I have committed many sins, but doesn’t God see what is truly in our heart and soul? I thought only evil people went to hell. I am not evil. I am just sad and depressed and alone. I have a 10 yr old daughter. I don’t want her to end up like me. I don’t want her to learn about my sins, my mental illness, my weaknesses…i don’t want her to be ashamed of me.
her life will be destroyed if i live. people will judge her based on my past mistakes. yet if i kill myself, that will mess up her life too, I just cant continue to live in this black hole. i am ready to do it and i am sorry. pray for me and ask God to let me in heaven because i was an ok person while i was alive. I tried my best.
An others perspective- How can anyone believe in a God (as I do) that would allow for such injustice and inequality. I understand that we have free will and peoples choices and actions are not Gods ‘fault’ – and as a believer in God, and someone who has wanted to commit sucide many many times and suffered from depression for years – and yes ‘just gets on with it- as what else can I do’!. I see so much around me good things happening to bad people and vice a versa and wonder how God can choose who he can help – how he can allow the constant suffering of his children- and not think ‘enough’ when that person is on their knees with what they have to cope with. How a crumb from his table be enough for those who do suffer to think there is glimmer of hope – I am so saddend by my own loss of faith and so fearful for when I do die – if I then never get to see my family because of my lack of trust and faith in God. You know you can read the Bible all you want and try to relate the stories you read – but where is the God I was brought up to love and appreciate and pray to – in my heart I am a good person – Yes Im a sinner but I have tried to as Im older to be a better person to see Gods words and vision and how many times so I need to be on my knees asking for a crumb at Gods table………
I am not sure if suicide will be forgiven. I thnk this is what has stopped me thus far. As for me I don’t think it would be selfish because I think everyone would be better off without me. My life is such a mess and God doesn’t seem to hear my prayers. I love the Lord but sometimes I think perhaps there are people that are chosen and I must not be one of the chosen. I just want the hurting and suffering to stop. I want God’s word to be as true for me as it seems to be for others.
Pat – I agree with you about ‘wanting Gods word to be true for me as it seems to be others’ and I cannot honestly say my life has been absolutely terrible and my choices have not led to alot of my mistakes. I equally cant say that I have a terrific charmed life – my life is tolerable ( and that is if I dont think too much about it as that leads to sucidal thoughts I have almost daily and dont have the courage to take my life). But I also am well aware of others who have recieved much much more fortune in many ways then I have and do not believe or see the importance of God in the way I do and somne have no though for others.
I think is very very hard to believe in God – I understand why people dont and I dont think you are a huge sinner or misguided person if you do feel like that. If I had not been indoctrinated into believing in God from an earlier age and if maybe i had found peace in myself and free from my depression – maybe i would think like many others and try to be the best human being I could be, understand life starts and ends in this world and realise that life is full of knocks and luck is a throw of the dice……….and there is very little else……….
it’s the devil trying to take away your heritage
I think they go to purgatory
Purgatory is an Catholic concept and people who read the bible say that there is no purgatory and wheen you die God judges you and if you are a Catholic and die sinful and go to purgatory then the prayers on this earth can help your soul. My mother died a sinner in the eyes of God and I hope that God has been merciful – I still pray for her and my grand parents as I have no family left – and would gladly leave this earth – everyday is a harship and I have so much loathing and fear – but it is hard to shake off your beliefs and just commit suicde – I just hope there are many roads that lead to God and he sees in to your heart…….
O God of eternal life,
bless all who contemplate
taking their own life
Grant them peace
from the internal fears and doubts,
from the turmoil of failures,
from the pain and suffering
in their souls
Endow them with hope
for the days ahead,
courage to make new beginnings,
and love to strengthen
their resolve to live
I cannot say what God would do? I can say that PHYSICAL PAIN could make one possibly do it without even intending to just to relieve that pain, BUT DON’T! PHYSICAL PAIN can be horrific beyond words, and I’m sure that God must understand ALL that we go through. All I can say for anyone who would think about suicide is don’t do it – exhaust every avenue for help, counseling if you need it, help if you need it, ask everyone anyone for help. I do believe God wants us to find peace in life. Even if you don’t believe in God I would think nature itself would want you to find harmony/peace from your suffering and pain. God said we should not kill and killing oneself I would think would be included; but all sins are forgiven if you believe in Christ – but ALL THE MORE REASON NOT TO KILL YOURSELF – and if you don’t believe in God or aren’t Christian I AS A FELLOW HUMAN say DON’T DO IT until you exhaust every resource to find help. If you say I have – NO – it should take a few years at least to exhaust every resource. You may feel guilt, depression, pain, lonliness, whatever it is FIND SOMEONE TO HELP YOU – there is SOMEONE – even if they are an imaginary friend. Find some help WITHIN YOURSELF -what makes you laugh, go there. What makes you smile, go there. Who makes you feel good about life, go there. Go to a church, or temple. Get around other people and tell them how you are feeling. DO NOT GIVE UP – because you may be on the brink of fixing all that you are upset about or angry at.
I can’t speak for God – but I believe He would tell us to keep trying. Put your pain on God – yell at Him, scream at Him, let Him know how much you are in pain. If you don’t believe in God scream at the Universe – let that pain out. Forgive yourself and others. I think God can forgive anything. I know it says in the Bible that you cannot be forgiven if you blasphemy the Holy Spirit. It’s very unclear yet clear, how does one do that – I am not sure, but I would IMAGINE IT COULD MEAN that you give up on that Holy Spirit that is within you that preserves you and your life and your spirit. If your spirit dies I would assume the Holy Spirit is not being honored, so get angry at everything and preserve your spirit – preserve your Holiness and God’s. THINKING ABOUT HURTING YOURSELF – don’t do it for YEARS exhausting everything – you should at least contact thousands of people PERSONALLY – even if you are annoying, JUST TRY TO LIVE. If you are in pain, get to a doctor and SCREAM FOR PAIN RELIEF make them believe you, not because you want drugs – you want TO LIVE AND NOT IN PAIN. I feel your pain, I’ve been there physically, emotionally, financially, psychologically, mentally. Moments in life can be absolutely impossible. They can be – but don’t give up – GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE regardless what you believe. Death is forever or it would seem so – life is but for a moment. So know whatever pain you are in no matter how bad in this life it WILL PASS. If you are in so much pain that you are even giving yourself more pain wondering what GOD thinks – GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE – find an answer someway. In every one of my darkest hours there has been a speck of light. Sometimes it seems totally absolutely impossible to find hope or light – it seems pointless to try, almost ridiculous – all rational thought says nothing will get better. BUT DO NOT GIVE UP – FIGHT – HOLD ON. Try saying JESUS HELP ME – SCREAM IT IF NEED BE – it’s caused miracles to happen for me.
I can’t go into what – JUST DO IT – I swear it’s true, if I can save you from your pain one more day to find peace and an answer so you live – IT IS WORTH IT – BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH IT AND YOU KNOW IT – it’s just so hard to remember or believe it sometimes. YOU ARE WORTH LIVING – YOU ARE HERE – so keep trying – don’t give up. I have had back pain, it’s so horrible you can’t even move, breathe – BUT when you get pain relief, when things improve you are SO THANKFUL AND GLAD YOU DIDN’T FREAK OUT and hurt yourself or make things worse. We all will die soon enough. Live until your natural end. Let nature give you a crown. Fight and fight again, if there is no hope, fight even harder, go down fighting for life. LIFE IS WORTH LIVING EVEN IF JUST FOR A MOMENT – because I hope you have good times and remember those because they can be yours again. God wants you to believe in LIFE. Jesus died for us – you don’t need to until you are called. SO KEEP TRYING – someone feels your pain, even if they aren’t the same. I know that horrific pain of doom, depression, pain. It’s beyond words, it’s beyond common experience, but LOVE YOURSELF AND FORGIVE YOURSELF and find LIFE. I hope this helps someone. Let go of your pain, your anger, your depression and SEARCH OUT HELP, SEARCH OUT LIFE. Exhaust yourself to death CHOOSING LIFE. Do that – and GOD will give you life. Both now and later. Don’t give up – GOD is GOOD. Believe it – make it real. Fight to make it real. Find what you need in LIFE. YOU CAN DO IT – it’s takes everything you have and more – I did it. I’ve done it and done it again and again. KEEP TRYING don’t give up. LIVE!!!
God is the only reason I’m here right now I have depression and bi polar and all that my husband killed himself two years ago and I still. Have nightmares and everyday I think of away to do to but I love god so much and don’t wanna disappoint him he is all I have
im suicidal due to the many heath and emotional problems in my life, but im to much of a coward to actually kill myself, i just wish i didnt wake up in the morning and die in my sleep, or i get hit and killed by a freak accident.. i pray to god to take me home, but even he seems to ignore me.no one will miss me anyway.
I have read all of the comments here. Suicide has many sources so I want to comment with that in mind so as not to limit anyone’s reasoning or feelings. I almost died after a series of life altering events by almost taking my life by alcohol poisoning. I had been through the worse of it – loss of a parent to cancer, another to dementia, a younger sis with final stages of MS and me being her life sponsor, loss of a job after 20 years of being a successful exec, a horrible economy destroying life long retirement planning, a cheating spouse, mocked by “friends” that pounced like hyenas on an injured animal, on and on – all within a couple of years. I thought to myself at that point I had enjoyed a good life up to then, and had experienced all what I wanted, and was just “DONE” with life, and basically gave up and started pounding a bottle or more of vodka a day until I went into a series of seizures that sent me to an emergency room. I recovered and lead a great life again.
If I can offer anything from my experience, know YOU do mean something and are someone special, and rising to a level of power above what you believe your limits are by your current experience or perception will do more to help both yourself and others than you can imagine. There is no greater high than saving someone’s life so give it a shot and save your own first and share how and why. People will relate to your struggle and loved ones who loss someone can take some solace in knowing another life was saved. Who knows where it may lead you.
God bless you, whatever vision you have of God as the entity in your life. Let the religious arguments go and take back the control of your life. In the end, it is what you must do and that is simple logic. And, if you believe in God, he (using the vernacular) will be proud…
September 2,2011-I woke up to a warm sunny morning, eager to go to work , 2nd day the school year and I let my dogs outside so they could take care of business, but they got all excited and started barking at something behind the garage so I chased them to get controll of them and bring them in the house so I could leave for work. It was approximately 6am,but what I found behind the garage stole my breath away and robbed me of my faith in God. It was my 21year old daughter -she hung herself in a tree-already dead. I screamed ran in the house woke up the rest of the family called 911 went back outside with my 17 year old daughter -she cut the rope -we began cpr -though it was useless. Some time in the middle of the night my oldest daughter committed suicide while we all slept soundly-and it was her 21st birthday as well. Now forever my 21yr old daughters birthday is also her death day. She left behind all of us, me, my husband, 2 younger sisters, and a 18month old daughter.
All the church, prayers, bible reading and what I thought was deep belief in God,Christ,Holy Spirit just thrown up in our faces.
I feel sick any time I try to feel any happiness, all memories bring nothing but painful headaches. This family has to get up and live life just the same as it has ever been lived, work school, coming and going as if she never existed and as if we never were touched with grief because WE HAVE TO , pretending like we are all doing fine-Bull! Yes she had free will but if God was merciful he would have known that We Would Have Stopped It! Why didn ‘t an angel or some other thing made us wake up to some sort of disturbance in the home or outside Something–anything!
Free Will: I did not choose to be born. I did not choose to be abandoned, neglected, terrorized, tortured and abused in all ways imaginable since birth. I did not choose to become nothing more than an invalid, losing my health, because of all of the trauma’s forced onto me by others. Free will, for whom?
If you follow the bible word for word, then go to genesis, 22, did not thy father lay down with his daughters to conceive thy sons? Were men not encouraged to take others for their wives? Murder, betrayal, incest and more can all be supported by the bible.
With this said, I do believe in God, Jesus, Holy Spirit. Not in religion or man. If God, Jesus, feels our pain. Then I’m guilty of hurting God, Jesus for my life has been nothing but pain. Just more guilt for me to exsist with, knowing I hurt the ultimate creator because of my being hurt. Why is it wrong to want to be with God, Jesus to stop from hurting not just myself, but them? Is it wrong to love God, Jesus as they so love us? After all Jesus suffered and died for us, is it wrong for us to to die to stop his suffering our sins and pain?
We all have a purpose, I’m told. God has special plans for you. God uses us to do his will. So a smile from me today may make a persons spirits lift. A kind word, kind act. Perhaps in the act of suicide God is also providing purpose for those left behind. So this suicidal person may be used to teach others about love, forgiveness, compassion? Only God knows the full picture of the plans for us, what was, is, and will be.
Depression with suicidal ideation is an actual biological defect. Seretonin, etc… it is further compounded by genetics and envirnoment. So God created us in his image. He who made us and knows all, why would he turn away from us in suicide? Makes no sense… After all if suicide were sinful, would this not have even been a factor?
I was born to never know what it felt like to be loved by my parents, I was physically abused by my parents, my brother interfered with me, my cousins husband tried to rape me when I was 13, I hated my life and contemplated suicide, I felt like I was treated like a slave by my parents, I did not know what it was like to receive Christmas or birthday presents.
I prayed for the day that I turned 16 years of age to be free to leave home, by the time I was 17 I was having my first baby, I still had not found true love that I had desperately longed for, I felt trapped and robbed of my youth, by the time I was 21 years of age I had three children and am married to a husband that gave me a broken nose and 2 black eyes.
I lost my 22 year old brother to murder, I lost my other brother when he was 40, I lost my 15 year old nephew to suicide.
I am now 59 years of age, have been a successful business woman and am about to lose my home because I trusted people.
I found out I have a large anuerism in my brain and I am a walking time bomb.
All my life I have been looking to find someone that could love me and vica versa- I have been a good looking woman so I had lots of opportunity but love seemed to elude me. I always chose the wrong person.
Not long ago, in heavy rain I rolled my car while driving at 110 kilometres an hour on the freeway at the same time I was singing Amazing Grace, since then I am suffering PTSD and depression and have constant thoughts of suicide, I do not want to leave a trail of devastation as I feel it is selfish and would upset my family and friend.
I do not know what to do, I feel numb and withdrawn. I have found the coffin I would like to have and have chosen my clothing- I dont know how to make this easy without hurting people, I wish it would all go away, I do not want to go to hell because I have been decent and lived by the 10 commandments. Will God accept me?
I have prayed almost daily for God to take me home since I was a child. In my teens in anger for not having my prayers answered I swore to reject gods gift and not live life. I am now 41 and have kept my oath well. Now I feel that this coarse is the same as suicide. Rejecting God’s gift. This leaves me without fear of damnation for ending my life. I am already damned.
God does not forgive those who commit suicide for he fears above all else. He made man in his image and if man has the power to destroy himself then somewhere with in him is the power and desire to kill himself for there is nothing in man that is not within him. Each person that kills themselves reminds god of his failure and his eventual damnation for the sin of creation.
I personally can’t take this life or this world anymore and I have considered suicide many times. I pray to God each and every day to take my life. I’m kind of scared of dying but I don’t think I can go on anymore.
I honestly don’t know what God would do to me if I did end my life, but I am losing that fear each day that passes on.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
Such sad sad stories!! I was brought up catholic and i beleive in something after deat…maybe it was drummed into me i dunno ! I certainly have doubts often but this is one reason iwold never kill myself. However i have never really thought seriously about it even though YES i have beed depressed at times. I have had 2 brothers tasketheir own lives…. and ues i agree it’s the ones that are left behind that suffer….it’s awful…the questions,guilt etc are heartbreaking! I do beleive they will also find peav=ce and hopefully life after deat as they were soooo soo unhappy in this world…i personally do not understand how a person can take it that step further…i think itds a cowardly act! but for many they are sick or insane (thers a fine line between sanity and insanity) and it doesnt take long to killyourself!!!! anyhow there is always hope…someone that will help you..u just have to ask. I had no idea 4o years ago that i would have 10 grandchildren today and that my life (although not always easy) is mostly full of joy. I was a pregant and lonely 17 year old once..my dad was drinking heavilyetc etc i didnt think about suicide but iknow heartache and loss….life is like a rollarcoaster….HOWEVER just ask…go into a church or tell your neighbour…talk talk talk it through etcetc if i can help someone lease contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org..I am training to be a counsellor now and i am a teacher but most of all i am a human being whohas sufferd and come through it!!!!
Find one thing to be thankful for. Do you have two hands, two feet. Think on good things!
I go on to other blogs of widows: we lost our dear husbands, and we are all saying the same thing: we are alone, upset, cry, are devastated, lonely, have fear, panic attacks, want him back, need him back, feel like our lives are nothing. We feel like part of us went with our deceased husband. And what a lot of us say is this: we wish we could go to sleep and just never wake up. Some of us say we often wish we could just do it and go, so we could be with them. Many of us fear sinning against our Lord, and many of fear doing it the wrong way and ending up in an institution with brain damage or something else.
We all nknow our husbands want us to go on, but we are finding it hard. So is suicide justified when we are grieving so much that our hearts and heads are clouded with dark thoughts and we are not reasoning properly–just in too much agony?
Please state your opinion on this circumstance that plagues us “widows.” I HATE THAT NAME WIDOWS.
I am 35. A mother of 4. I was a career mom, raising my kids and fell in love with a man who I thought felt the same about me. From the start he lied about his past, being married, a child. He broke my heart. Everyone thinks they are in love until they find that right someone. The one who 11 years later still gives you butterflies in your stomach. I tried to buy him the world. I lost everything. My house, car, job. I hurt so bad. I love my children but I am so depressed and I beg this man to stay with me. My kids see that and hate me. I had a gun and was going to full proof my plan to kill myself but didn’t want my kids to see a mess. I am going to disappear and go through with it this time. I tried to talk to people. I tried to tell the man he was killing me and he still was mean and put me down. Telling me quit talking and do it. So I am. I want him to know it was his fault. He could have helped me. I want him to understand, his cruelty and dragging me along, killed me. He should live knowing by pushing me by saying quit talking and do it, drove me over the edge. I cried out in a last attempt to him and was left alone with my broken heart. Why are people so mean? Why play on people’s emotions? I needed a friend, and was rejected by the world.
I came to the point of suicide myself, several times, the last time, so close it makes me shudder to think of it. It is a long story how the Holy spirit intervened directly to me, and i will spare you that. But i will tell you this; i argued many times against the fact that suicide is something that you cannot be forgiven for. Sure, blasphemy is the only “unforgivable sin”, but what sealed the deal for me, against suicide was this:
1 corinthians 3:16-17 “know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the spirit of God dwelleth in you?” “if any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.”
Does this not tell you, that God lives in each of us, which makes us a temple of God. And if you destroy Gods temple, (yourself), God will destroy you. And we all know what happens when God destroys us. so there is the answer to that suicide question. I suppose, misleading intentionally, and/or destroying the house of God and the word of God would fall into the blasphemy category anyway. Thats my take on it, but the scripture, stands on its on. And by the way, you all, when i finally stopped wallowing in my self pitty and realized that the lord had not left me, I had left him…..when i finally let him back in, My life changed in such a dramatic way, even I cannot yet comprehend it. There is hope. Please, just believe that Jesus will hold true to his promise, and he will , if you believe, take care of all your needs. I will attest to that myself.
I’m skimming these comments and trying to make sense of things. I don’t think I’m a bad person at heart – just confused, depressed and needing help. Like many others here I have thought of death for a long time – since i was a pre-teen I am now 60! WTF!!! Why woudl I think of this stuff for so many years. my folks were kinda religious christiand and I followed it for a while Now not so sure. I figure 60 years is a good run. I am near financual ruin and my family will be better off wth the life insurance. I may check back here. I dont know what I will do
Nobody looks here anymore
No reason to keep going
No truth in the world
No one really cares
There is nothing
The way i see it ended your life because depression is stupid! Plain and simple when there are children mothers men that have it 100 times worse no food to eat no shelter living in bad weather countries watchin suicide bombers kill everyday and your complaining about being alone sad cause h/she dont like u or you dont get attention man the f up please! I love god and im writin this because i too am thinking about suicide but only if i end up with cancer or a tumor that will blind me as i cannot live like that and i hope god understands and forgives me as i feel my body is dying:(
I’ve attempted Suicide many times while behind a wheel of a car or a heated argument taking it out on a powerpoll trying to kill myself. I made a cut once my arm with a glass my mother threw at me. I’ve contemplated my own death a numerous times, daily almost. My life is a living hell. I fall into the conspiracy trap the world has left me. The devil I believe in as well as God. I am not stranger to the faith. I want things to get better but know one could ever know what I am going through. Many people would have taken their own lives if they been through half the shit I’ve been through. I lost my life stability my good career when my house burned down. I’m going on 50 I feel like it anyway. I’m young and I feel a lack of concentration and I feel dehumanized and dumbed down. I know suicides are growing in numbers cause they are allowed by God I do believe. But I am a fighter. I lost the only love of my life to a dui.I get mocked for being single by my family cause it just will never be the same.
when my father died who taught me everything I knew, who brought peace and happiness and joy to our family and was the glue holding us together. Those were good times. As I was locked away in isolation I find myself plotting evil thinking to myself confusing home with a prison cell. I have no friends most of them have moved away or ruined their own lives. I find myself alone and I feel like God has turned his back on me. My mental illness is the fact I’m aware of the situation. I see the World changing into a hellish place of mindcontrol and slavery. The system has failed us, inflation is climbing jobs are scarcer then ever! My illness is mostly triggered by my family, They deliberately make me feel like shit everyday it seems. My family is broke, I have no life other than videogames and music. I go to church but nothing helps kill the depression of knowing I’m gonna die sooner or later. I feel like God has left the universe. I feel like the World is Hell. I can go on and on but if I left my family would cry and mourn for me so I know they love me but they don’t respect me cause I have no life and I’m at a crossroads point. I don’t want to be just another statistic. I’ve conquered neardeath over a 1000 times so far. So I’m still here awaiting his plan and finding my purpose. meanwhile I got my fucking nephew bragging about his second new girlfriend and insulting me daily with the dribble. Making me feel more like a fucking loser. It’s depressing to know this site is full of suicide letters it’s not encouraging in the least bit. But I know I’m here for a reason, I just haven’t found it yet. I’m so embarrassed of being flat ass broke, of my family that I’m afraid to make a girlfriend cause I don’t have the life where I can support her. No recent suicide attempts but contemplating almost daily. Is this normal given the fucked up life I have?
At one time years and years ago I had the perfect life, no worries, fearless of death and strong faith in God and had many friends who was true friends. What the lord giveth me He’d taketh away! Things get better with every tomorrow. seconds of bleeding out my arm with a precision razor knife I thought about God and Hell, my mother and hope for tomorrow. I waited it out and a great breakthrough happened. My family stated respecting me again, caring again. I mean I even wrote a song to be my Suicide Letter. I was ready to go out like Kurt fucking Cobain. God knows my limit, he took that day off but he will never give you too much to handle. I felt an Evil presence in my room telling me to do it. Almost like I had no control of what I was doing for a split second. Well even the word fails us from time to time for it’s filtered by mankind.
If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one hand than to go into the unquenchable fires of hell with two hands
He just told you it’s better to Commit SUICIDE to enter Eternal LIFE rather than sin and go to hell…WTF???
Well their is your answer it’s probably about lust and masturbation…lol but
it still says to chop your hand off which will kill you will it not? Well lets “cut” to the Scriptures shall We?
If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one hand than to go into the unquenchable fires of hell with two hands
contemplate suicide almost daily, I’ve lost and suffered alot in my life, I have no life, no friends, can’t find work, can’t find purpose, can only listen. fucked up family, living alone, afraid to commit to anything, afraid I’m not myself today. This ends up being a giant unincouraging pile of shit most people just used this as a place to type out their suicide letters. nice one- I was more creative I used music like Cobain. Starred out a razor knife for 20 minutes thinking I should just end my own suffering. Wake up people the World is a giant idiocracy. many days just thinking of dying is enough to make me mentality ill. I get treated like shit my family throws their successes in my face all the time. In recent years I’ve tried to kill myself behind the wheel off an interstate overpass. I’ve tried to kill myself, But God just won’t let me. I lost my home to a fire, I lost my life when my father died and I lost the love of my life my soulmate when my girl died in a dui wreck as we was about to marry. Now my moms having the same heart troubles operations and I’m about to lose her. I don’t have much family left the rest is leaving away out of state forever this summer. I’m depressed not cause I choose to be cause I’m strong! I’m depressed cause people provoke it by setting me up too fail. If you think about killing yourself. You maybe forgiven by God but think about all the lives you’ll be affecting and think about tomorrow cause I was about to pop in my papa roach Cd and do it. I contemplated it for a half an hour I shit you not. I’m not even a fucking emo either. If Religion is making you depressed get away from it. Worship God in love not fear. Find hope, Make friends don’t put yourself in a catch 22 situation. Their is many people of power that want to see us fail, they want us to be the Deus Ex Machina to their NWO population problem.
There are still many people who do not recognize Depression as a mental illness. I have suffered from it since my 20′s, if not earlier. I am not 60 years old and have been on medication since I was 40. A Christian friend of mine told me years ago if you accept the Lord you would not take your own life. I thought about that for years. I accepted the Lord as a child, BUT, unless you have been so depressed you can’t get up in the morning and lose 30 pounds in one month, please don’t judge. I am a Christian, but when I have really bad bouts of depression, I just want to die and visualize it in my head. I have tried to ‘will’ my heart to stop. I have prayed to God to take me in my sleep. It is such an empty and sad time in one’s life if you are depressed. I pray for strength, not often enough, and that helps me. I know some people suffer physical pain, but mental and emotional pain is also very difficult to endure.
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