Father Suing School District Over Son's Suicide
Sunday January 21, 2007
Last month I made a post about a family who had filed a wrongful death suit against MIT for the suicide of their daughter. It now seems that other parents are following suit, holding schools accountable for their children's suicides.
An Oregon television station filed a report on its website yesterday about Curtis Damm, the father of a Yamhill-Carlton High School senior who hanged himself in the family's barn two years ago. Damm is suing the school district, alleging that his son, Cody Monks-Damm, was on suicide watch at the school and the school did not properly follow its own procedures or properly respond to an incident that allegedly triggered the suicide. Monks-Damm was suspended from school and not included in a senior assembly video that the other seniors were all included in. The day after his suspension, he was found dead.
These lawsuits raise the question, just what is the school's responsibility when a student is suicidal?
Comments
Trying to hold the school accountable is outrageous - it didn’t even happen at the school. While of course I am sympathetic to the parents for their loss, I am sick and tired of people thinking they can always hold a city or a school or other organization responsible for personal incidents and tragedies. This just escalates the cost of liability insurance, which is ultimately passed on to the taxpayers.
Hopefully a judge or jury will decide this has no merit.
Petros
And how is the suit going to bring their child back? If the child is suicidal, the underlying reasons should have been addressed earlier. Making someone else guilty of the act won’t repair anything.
well i knew cody personally and i am a senior at yamhill carlton high school. he was an amazing person and there were way more things that led to this then just what happened at school. earlier that year we also lost our friend anndi to suicide and that happened in our freakin parking lot, but neither one of their deaths were the faults of our school administration. our school is so amazingly close and there is so much love felt there. after cody and anndi died our whole school changed, and all of us are still heart-broken. personally i just dont think that there is a point in what cody’s parents are trying to do. everybody needs to stop trying to blame someone for they choice that he made. i love that boy so much and i know that he is at peace now, and that is all we need to worry about.
I am so sorry to hear that the school is having to deal with this. I think its going way over the line. Yamhill High School goes out of there way to take care of these kids. I have two chidren that suffer with depression. and there is no way i would hold the school responsible for anything like this. I would be devasted and it might ruin my life to lose a child,but what this family is doing to the school is very selfish, i realize they are suffering but doing this is not going to bring back Cody. If my child was truly sucidal I would have them at home all the time, so I could watch them. Very sad to hear about this. Its such a shame……
The loss of a loved one produces a time of mourning. During this time we are not able to make good decisions until we get rid of the “bad” grief (the desire to blame and get revenge)and keep the good grief. To restore our joy after a loss of this magniture, we first need to touch base with God and ask for his help in time of need. Then we need to ask God what lessons we need to learn from this. Then we need to be responsible for our actions and our actions alone. This means FORGIVNESS. NOT A LAW SUIT. God forgive them for they know not what they did. God help me to forgive them becuase my selfish nature does not want to fortive them. God forgive me for doing what I did to cause the problem. God forgive me for losing my joy and harmony with you. God help me to forgive myself. God please restore my joy. Please help me to go on with my life and live the rest of my life to bring honor and glory to you and to my lost son. Help me to live my life in remembrance of him and to try to make a difference in the lives of others who may be facing the same issues. Suggest reading “Joy Of Living” at www.unconditionallovelive.com
Teen suicide is tragic. In this case, I feel that it was not the school’s fault, there was much more to this suicide than any of us can imagine. My sympathies to all involved. It takes more than one incident to make someone go over the edge. Unfortunately, he needed professional help and was unable to handle the stress of life at that age. Adolescents, teens, have a tough time in this society of ours. I will pray for him and I will pray for his family and all involved.
It’s a school not a hospital. The school is not responsible.
I hope this leads to better Counselling Services in schools.
In Oz Counselling Services are in very short supply or non-existent.
Although the PM (JH) wants to put a Chaplain in every school.
Very laudable, but trained Counsellors/Psychologists would be my first priority.
I like the majority of the comments made; however, let us remember that the family is grieving. A part of the grief is the need to affix responsibility. The battle between condemning self and others is ongoing throughut the process. People can be, simultaneously, at multiple stages of the grief model.
No, the school is not responsible. The fellow students are not responsible. No, the family is not responsible. The person who made the decision made it based upon his own perspective (how he saw things as being), perceptions (how he interpreted them) and made a pragmatic decision based upon that information.
Youth is a period of high emotion - recklessness, and doing without thinking. I truly hope that all friends and family may be able to look at this situation - not as adversaries - but as fellow victims who look into the nature of this event to help others who may be placed in similar situations in the future.
A judge will decide if there is any culpability on the part of the school. Certainly there is procedure that a school must follow in the circumstance of a child who is known to be suicidal. This will be brought out in trial. A family would be devastated by the loss of a child. I hope that they find peace.
My heart goes out to all his family and friends. Anyone who is suicidal needs to be in a hospital. I don’t know if the parents had insurance to provide this. The article does not specify when the parents were notified of this young man’s suspension. If he was suicidal and allowed to attend school in that condition, I believe the parents needed to have someone be with him 24/7. Yes, their son was ultimately responsible for his actions. When there is a suicide, there are so many “what ifs”. When I attempted suicde, I truly belived that everyone would be better off without me. I beleived that I would never feel better than I felt at that time. I hope that Cody’s parents will find a positive way to help deal with their great loss. Perhaps one way would be to spread the word to other teens that they can and will feel better. There are lots of ways to manage this horrific disease.
I am saddened that the parents feel the school is at fault for their son’s suicide. As a teacher, there are many responsibilities involved in running a school. If a child is that ‘ill’ he/she should not be at school. One thing that parents and educators both need to be aware of and provide counselling on both sides for, ‘don’t sweat the small stuff, it’s all small stuff.’ People in emotional turmoil, especially teenagers have a distorted view of the importance of things. Parents also buy into that. The litigation is a way for parents to assuage their own guilt in the matter. I hope this incident will help generate a greater awareness of emotional balance in everyone’s life.
My son, now a sophomore in college, was depressed from 8th grade until into his freshman year at college. We were getting him treatment, but we still had to face the fact that he might, at some point, decide to end his life. Luckily, he didn’t and last year, after his first semester away from home/high school/family, came home and told us he realised that most of his feelings of isolation were self-induced. He hadn’t tried to make friends after we moved here in his 8th grade year, he didn’t want to get involved and he was VERY angry at us for making him move. He thanked us for loving him and trying to help. He told us there wasn’t really anything we could have done to prevent him, had he WANTED to take his own life and that he did think about back then. I think if there had been another student in his school who had committed suicide, then my son might have followed suit. Sometimes the power of suggestion in a person is strong. Is this the school’s fault? I really can’t see how. You can’t suspend rules for some students because they’re unstable, that would lead to discrimination law suits (for those that aren’t sick, but want the same treatment by the schools), that would be unending and tie up the courts and school district money (OUR money) for years.
Perhaps Cody’s parents feel guilty and think if they find someone to blame, they themselves won’t have to feel as if they contributed to his death?
My thought, learned from my depressed son is, that if a person of a certain age wants to take his/her own life, for whatever reason, it may not be possible for ANYONE to stop them.
Peace to all.
I am very sorry to hear what happen to danny, the only thing I can add, danny had deep routed problems,which the school is NOT responsible,but- his parents should have picked up on that.School is to teach our children,not be responsible for their inner torment.Very sorry for danny, but most sorry for his parents,Lore,when shame looks for blame…
This story is getting to be the norm these days! And all I keep asking my self is WHY? These kids didn’t raise themselves, or did they? Parents can be present and do absolutely nothing. Some parents today don’t care. These kids today are smart. . and they know when their parents continually ignore them. Then there is the parent who over does it. They treat their children like gold! There is a happy medium that is terribly lost! My opinion of course, and being online all day and watching TV all night and talking on a cell phone when they are only in grade school is really something! Kids aren’t kids anymore! They are made to be adults! Adults now! I AM SO GLAD MY CHILDREN ARE RAISED. IF OUR SOCIETY DOESN’T CHANGE SOON, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE LOTS OF KIDS HANGING THEMSELVES! OR WORSE!!
GOD HELP THE PARENTS OF THOSE CHILDREN!
THIS IS OUR FUTURE??????
I am very sorry to hear that another person had died by secuide.The only way it would be the school’s fault is if thy were susposed to be watching the person at the time of the action.If the person commited secuide at home it was the parent’s responsibility not the school’s.It is a very sad thing when some one commites secuide.It is not the awanser to a problem it is the beging of a nightmaire for any one who knew the person.Three years ago my ex-wife commited secuide what it did to my children and myself is still with me today.Please if you know someone who is haveing a hard time reach out with love do not try to fix it just listen and sugest if thy would like you to go with them to talk to a school offical or a person who is trained to deal with secuide.Hay I would rather be a pain in the ass and still have my ex back.Learn the signs of secuide. Thy are general because each person is different;being different is what makes life so sweet for the people around you.
I think that the parent is possibly thinking the suicide is his fault and in his own anger is lashing out at anything else he can pin the death on except himself…I dont think it is the schools responsibility i think the parents should have their own eyes on their own kids
I just happened to read an article in a news magazine (I believe it was Newsweek) that mentioned some Colleges and Universities are starting to screen for depressed/Mentally Ill students as a result of the MIT lawsuit. Since colleges are concerned about being held liable for a person committing suicide, they are kicking students who are depressed (or have other mental disorders) out of their schools or allowing them to attend on probationary terms. Thanks to lawsuits, if a student is depressed or suffering from another mental illness, they could be denied a college education! If a student finds themselves depressed in college they are also not likely to seek help since they would rather not face the possibility of being kicked out of school. Anytime a suicide occurs it is tragic but should a school be sued even if they may not be negligent in any way? If you were a high school administrator/college president would you be willing to offer help to depressed students even though you could be sued if someone commits suicide despite having a licensed therapist and other measures to prevent suicide? This further stigmatizes mental illness as a school doesn’t want to be sued and a student doesn’t want to be kicked out of school if they seek help.
in my opinion, this all depends on whether the school was notified, and if the parents had a disability plan (504 plan or IEP) which identified his issues and delineated a plan of action to address his disability -
and if the school did not follow that plan or any other procedures as to how to handle his discipline, for example -
IF the school was notified and had a specific obligation in this case and they were negligent - then i believe the family is doing the right thing.
schools must be stopped from abusing disabled students. unfortunately, the only way they will stop is if families stand up and sue.
ocelot
I knew Cody personaly. he was older then me and i thiught he was SOO cool, and i still do. me and him went threw alot of drama together. and some of that drama wa spart of the things contributing to his being sent home from school. me and cody skipped class together a coupel times just to chill and play hacky sack. he was a GOOd kid. and i go to a GOOD school!! Y-C high, is in NO WAY responsible of his death neither are the parents, its just one of those things that happen. i think every one needs to whip out there handydandy perfect owrld card and burn it cuz this place aint perfect and no body is. i odnt kno i just dont like reading ever yo ones comments thatare like blahblah blah when they dont even kno him/knew him. so if u dont ko him shut the hell cuz u guys dont kno jack. schools not responsible and the parents need to get that threw threre head. Cody is free now…
i love cody so damn much. he’s safe now. he is free…
I absolutley think that schools should be accountable. My son is 11 and has been treated horribly by his school and I have had to remove him and we have been forced out of this district. He became suicidal because of his maltreatment. Since being removed, he is better. I too am fighting with the school and I hope others will continue their fight
No. It’s my fault. I couldn’t be there, and he didn’t know why. I never came back, and he thought it was because of him. Two weeks after I was supposed to be back, and didn’t come..he was dead. I don’t think that it was a coincidence. I live with that every day.
They are trying to place blame on the school, and on his Jehovah’s Witness mother, but that’s not where all of it should be. It’s my fault. He loved me, I made him want to wake up in the morning… and I couldn’t do anything about it.
To Elizabeth Cosgrove: You are not responsible for someone taking their own life. It is not your fault. Humans are responsible for their own feelings and how they deal with them. Forgive yourself for “not being there” and go on with your life. Cody made his decision, you did not make it for him.
Elizebeth- You are to cocky for oyur own damn good, and i think you need to get over that, Cody was depressed and it wasnt your fault, he wasnt “in love wihth you” and you were not his “reason to wake up” that is a crock, he had a gf here in oregon. so you need to stop blaming your self and being so friggen cocky about your self, he barely knew you. so yeha, wake up. !!!!
i find this funny i went to school with this boy i actually dated him and he had more problems than the school could handle