Is Depression a Legitimate Disability?

I applaud you for responding in this supportive manner. My mom used to laugh and say, “Connie, you will never get any sympathy!” Just becuase I did not LOOK ill to the general public, did not mean that I was not hanging on by my fingernails. Depression is an excruciating, painful, deadly disease that claims many lives. To minimize or dismiss this illness because it cannot be seen, would be the same as dismissing cancer because it is not visible.

I have suffered from depression since 1998, I too used to drag myself out of bed each day to work, I could not consentrate I was having panick attacks all day, my sleep was poor I had no sex drive or drive for life, my job was fixing computers I was promoted to a group leaders position but I was always tired depressed, felt hopeless hated myself for feeling this way, I was very muched liked at work, but there was an overwhelming feeling of doom\dispair was physically and mentally exausted I no longer enjoyed life, I used to asked myself whats the point of living feeling like this day after day without any relief, I considered suicide every day I kept working I even went for a promotion and got five grand on top of my wages was now working up in London or some upper class customers, thinking that this change of location\promotion would somehow lift my depression all it did was make it worst, I also took up rigorous exercise (wieght training) to lift my depression all the did was deplete my energy even more, I had to stop work in 2004 due to it getting so bad I was embrassed lonely and completely at a lost as to what to do I had tried my best and failed my spirit was totally broken, I was on job seekers allowance at first but soon realise that now that I had confroned my depression head on without the fake smiles and the true grit feeling that I had I was unable to leave my house, I eventually went on Disability benefit, I have got a large family I felt that I let them down, I really wanted to die it only due to me having strong religious beliefs that I,m here today, for anyone (Doctor\Lawyer\Judge\Queen, or whosoever it may be says thats Clinical Depression is something you can just force yourself and go to work with, I say which other illness in the world forces people to think\suicide as a way out? Most people do not commit suicide when they find out they have Aids,Cancer,heart disease etc, this disease IS A KILLER, so I say to that doctor on people with depression going to work to take his head from out of his arse and wake up.

Having suffered with manic depression my whole life, and having only recently (4 years ago) gotten fully diagnosed, and only in the past month started finally getting treatment for this terrible disorder, I can say definately that depression is a very debilitating illness.

There have been times that I cannot get out of bed, or clean my home, or even drive to the grocery store. Other days I am over-the-top, able to clean my whole house, work out, shop, and have fun with my family. But I live on a roller coaster to which there is no stop… it is always either up or down… maybe one day I will know what it is like to stand still in my head and know peace, but for the past several years it has been a battle…

I haven’t been able to keep a job in years. What few jobs I did have, and managed to keep for over a year, I did poorly. Making mistakes with money, customers, keeping stock, and other duties, due to my illness getting in the way.

I say, that if you can work, you should. But for those who can’t, disability payments can be a lifesaver, allowing them to get much better treatment… and with time, possibly a normal life.

So, yes, in the end, depression is a real illness, and a real disability… at least, it is to me.

I had been diagnosed as major depressive after 2 suicide attempts. My depression stemmed from an inability to work after a major car accident forcing me to have very major back surgery leaving me physically disabled permanently. My attorney told me I never would have been awarded Social security disability because of my depression, but only for my physical disability. I guess you have to successfully kill yourself to be awarded SSD on a depression basis. And they say I’m nuts.

I WOULD LIKE TO SAY IM 36 AND HAVE DEALT WITH THIS SINCE 12!! WHEN I WORKED I COULDNT HOLD A JOB LONG EITHER SLEEP PROBLEMS OR WORRYING MYSELF SICK! TO THE BIG FINE DR, I MYSELF WENT FOR NURSING ALWAYS WHAT I WANTED TO DO !!BUT , MY DEPRESSION GOT IN THE WAY OF THAT !!ITS BEEN HORRIBLE TO LIVE WITH THIS!! TO THE DOC AGAIN I WOULD TRADE WITH YOU YOUR JOB AND YOU TAKE MY DEPRESSION!!! WOULD LOVE TO WORK AND HAVE A NORMAL LIFE!! IM NOT SAYING THAT SOME PEOPLE DONT FAKE IT, BUT THERE IS SOME OF US OUT THERE THAT SURE IN THE HELL DONT!!!

Thank You for exposing such a wide felt feeling about those of us who suffer from depression. People think just because we “look” ok that we are ok. I would give anything to be as ok as I looked. The other fact is that just like anyone else who suffers with any illness that causes them to lose time from work WE ARE NOT GETTING PAID and even if we are able to collect disability that it as most people know nearly enough to live on.

I have been depressed all of my life. It started with a bad child hood. My father beating my mother up all the time. I tried to help her, but couldn’t. Then I got married to a wonderful man, and I worked three jobs. Then I fell 20 feet of steel stairs, and I couldn’t go back to that factory. It got so bad, I didn’t want to live. I tried suicide twice and ended up in the intensive care unit. I had two little kids, that I didn’t want to hear them cry, and I loved them so much. Now 25 years later, I am more depressed than ever. I have had three stomach surgerys, due to bleeding ulcers, I have had so many blood transfusions, and now I have a hospital bed at the age of 55. My back is deteriated and I can barely get around. I don’t like to be around people. I think they talk about me. I don’t go out much, just to the doctors. I hate myself and I have lost all my teeth, due to so much vomiting. My happiess time, is night, when it is black outside, and I can go to bed and cover my head, which I do doing the day too. This all makes me hate myself more, because I know the years are passing me by. I want help, but medication just does not work. I have even wrote in to get a wire put in my head, to shut out the negative feelings I get. Depression is real, so real. I think if I could pay my bills and get some work done around the house, I would feel better. But the truth is, I wouldn’t. You always try something so it will go away. I have no good days anymore. I have high blood pressure, and many more health problems. Do I still want to commit suicide? Some times. All I really want is for the rest of my life, enjoy it. Laugh, be happy. I always wanted to see the ocean, but that probably will never happen. I get sick alot, and they wouldn’t know what to do. If anyone has any suggestions, I would take them. I feel like I am a unfit grandma, because I don’t play with the kids. I look at these other people my age, and they are out walking and everything else. I stay in bed, usually put a note on the door, “do not disturb”. I hate myself so much and yes I am on medication. I hypervenilate at times. Last summer, I probably went out a total of ten times. And that was usually to the doctor. I also am ashamed of myself. To think, I use to be a hard worker, cooked for my family, got up at 5:30am every morning to get the kids ready for a babysitter, and I was a immaculate house keeper. You wouldn’t of found a crumb on my floor. Now I have to settle for less. I can no longer make it upstairs, and if I stand on my feet too much, they swell. Yes, people deserve disability if they are depressed. I don’t mean for a week or two, I mean a forever thing. I would much rather work, be happy, then to be in this house that needs alot to be said. Sincerely!

Having been off work Jan – Mar 2006 with Depression this was the 2nd time in 5 years this happened to me…The first time I would not accept that I who had everything was depressed….I now agree this is a disability and affects everyone differently.

After working for the same company for 16 years they could not empathize with what I was going through as I was always the life and soul of everything! They kept telling to SNAP out of it PULL MYSELF together…But you know what Depression gripped me like a vice and would not let go until I faced it head on.

I had counseling, I decided a Job change may help. So after a new job, new house and new location I thought everything was great, then a year later it came back again, on scale of 1- 10. 10 being the worst! I was fighting a 9.9…. in the end I gave up work as time off due to illness was not helping me in my new job…I gave this up by choice as this was giving me a lot of negative feedback with my new bosses. they supported me and gave me a glowing reference to add to my CV. No mention of my illness…

So, I took 3 month off work unpaid and worked at sorting myself out. This was hard and often very lonely. New place, know no one and did not want to be judged! But no money coming in either which was even more pressure, despite letters from my doctor saying that was necessary for me to be off and rest.

You know what, now I work for myself and when I feel shitty I can stop, breath and reflect, when I feel 100% I go out and take on everything and enjoy every minute I feel clear and chilled.

If there was a disability then there would be a financial reward, I agree you should have to have a history otherwise some sad people would just pretend to get the beneifits from the system…

I had been depressed my whole life but wasn’t aware that I was until I was going through a nasty divorce. I was diagnosed with Dysthymia. I had good days and I had bad days but I always felt like life was just a waste. I was going throught the motions with no snese of why. I’m still depressed. I havent gotten mine under control. I’m tired all the time and I just hide in my room after working all day and going to school. I have a family and a partner but they just dont give me a real reason to smile. recently, I sought help again becuase I’m tired of being tired and feeling like life isn;’t worth it. I’ve been going to school for seven years now and soon to graduate this May but the joy and excitement I should feel from my accomplishment isn’t there. I feel like it’s for nothing. I’m 44 and I feel like I have wasted my time even though I know I haven’t I feel like I have. It’s hard for us who suffer and doctor’s just have no clue unless they go through it themselves. A little empathy is in order for depressed individuals not criticism and force. Going everyday is a chore. It’s hard to just go but we do that doesnt mean we feel any better. It is a disability in every sense of the meaning…

Yes, there should be options in
insurance and employment policies for all mental illnesses. A GP or psychiatrist can attest to the seriousness of the illness and give a prognosis, if there is any doubt.

Squiggles

I am 56 years old and have been away from work 10 years this coming June. I am on disability pension. Fortunate? or unfortunate? The fact that I receive a pension alleviates the financial stress, however, I still don’t feel good that I am off work. Believe me the “stigma” is there, I know and feel the people that truly believe that I should be off work and those who believe that I’m having a great life “faking it”. I can relate to the previous comments posted. I don’t have the stress of facing a work day out of the home, but there are days that bed is the best place for me. I don’t have the interest, energy or motivation of doing housework, I get by going through “motions” every day. The more the clutter builds up, the more negative I fell, it is a vicious circle.

It is my opinion that all “professionals” who treat people with depression, should have had one as part of their qualifications, then there would be no question as to how they would treat their patinents and how much more understading they would be.

Suffered from depression my whole life. I know that now. The above link is something I have found very interesting, very very interesting.

This is the link http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/index.html

I can relate so much to what has been shared. I struggle daily with those same tasks, having interrupted sleep throughout the night, being late for work almost daily which was never a behavior of mine before depression. I was early more than just on time. I try and covince myself all day at work of an excuse to call out the next day and then I feel guilty for feeling that way so I struggle and drag myself to work even though I barely there. I feel like a shell just existing. I recently went back to therapy and have since changed medications but I truly want to stop all together because I’ve gained weight since the meds and it’s affecting my depression because I had gastric bypass 4yrs ago and lost an extreme amount of weight and have kept it off till the depression uprooted to the extreme. I lost my only brother to murder Jan/06 and suffered from post traumatic stress along with the depression and I have been struggling ever since like never before in my life.

This doctor is obviously Not intelligent. Nor is he educated. There is scientific data that shows chemical imbalance as a causal factor of depression. How can a doctor dismiss this? Most would not dismiss it and do realize that depression is real and is debilitating enough for some who only wish they could work and have their lives back. His ridiculous “opinion” and that’s all it is btw…an uneducated opinion, isn’t worth addressing really.

Evidently this doctor has never suffered through depression. How can anyone who hasn’t experienced the hell that depression brings, make a decision like that. Sure, I may look “normal” to my co-workers, or my physician, but they don’t know how difficult it is to even function somedays. (luckily for them) Whether or not someone with depression is able to work or not should be based on an individual basis.
How I function may be completly different from the person standing next to be–it varies day to day. Please, pray for this physician, that he may go through the rest of his life without t having to spend his life SUFFERING from disease.

After reading all the comments left here, I would agree especially with Melanie. All disability claims for depression should be determined individually. Unfortunately, many doctors will not agree. I was diaggnosed with major depression about 5 years ago The psychiatrist told me that he believed part of the depression was related to what was a very low thyroid and told me that previous doctors had done me an injustice by never making themselves aware of changes in lab values. I urge ALL people with depression to educate yourself about your thyroid and the new lab values. I have improved with medication but my doctor told me I will always suffer from major depression because of the many, many years of an incorrect diagnosis. Of course, the fact that life changed dramatically with the diagnosis of fibromyalgia, chronic Epstein-Barr and marital problems did not help. But a federal judge reviewed all my medical records and granted Social Security Disability. I told my doctor “I would not hire ME” even thought I am well educated and had worked for 23 years. The depression took over. Don’t give up! Be your own advocate and if you can no longer work keep trying for disability.

Also what about the fact that sometimes someone’s job might have something to do with keeping them depressed. Most working class people can’t afford to quit their jobs so then it becomes a circle. Another thing that always bothered me was people that say you don’t need medication for depression. Why would it bother anyone else whether or not you take medication for it? Obviously they must think the depression really doesn’t exist to say that.

I have suffered from depression for years and have experienced all of the manifestations that have written above. I was undiagnosed for a long time and faked my way through life. Unfornately I started drinking to self medicate and that was a disaster. I am now sober and with therapy and antidepressants I’m sure that I would be dead long ago. I am on SSD because my depressive episodes are so debilitating I can barely function. Even taking antidepressants does not always prevent one from spiraling downward but with a therapist and meds the spiral can be arrested. Not all doctors feel as the one you referenced. God knows I would love to work , but at my age -54- there’s not much there especially with my out of date skills. I just want others to know that people that suffer from this beast are probably some of the strongest people I know. You have to be to fight this and come out the other side.

The most true and accurate account I have ever read on depression – it is high time our governments both state and local and federal begin to assist those of us who suffer with this affliction -congratulations for spreading the TRUTH !

I dare say that whomever would think that we as depressed souls just walk around and collect money for the sheer enjoyment of it, has not himself seen or experienced the horrifying grips of such a mean spirited and ugly disease. I have suffered since the young age of 13 with horrific depression leading to my harming myself a handful of times. I am a male 49 years of age and would love to know what a normal life is like. To gleefully wake up and go to a job where i exude enthusiam and have a zest for life and the living. I do not exhibit any happy traits. Medication has not aided me and all i can do is receive therapy through groups and or individual sessions. I dare you as a doctor or anyone that has not lived within the bowels of hell to stand there in your arrogance and tell me and others collectively who suffer this disease, that we should just get out and work. YAWN! You bore me! You make me sick! I receive monthly payments and its not enough to live on! You think anyone in their sane minds would consider such a life and live on a pension so menial that it keeps you one step ahead of homelessness? Get a life doctor!

I had my first depression spell at 13 where I stayed in bed for a week, because “I did not feel well”. My most recent stay in bed was for three and a half months. In my life, in the last 18 years, I have had about 50 different jobs, about 20 different places to live. My record for staying at the same place of employment is 2 years. Most have been 6 months or less. I have been diagnosed over the years with Long term and chronic depression, severe, withou hallucinations, Bi-Polar 2, borderline personality disorder, Post Traumatic Srtress Disorder, PMDD, and Panic Disorder, to name a few. Who knows which one or two or five are correct diagnoses? All I FINALLY know is that I am messed up, but it is still hard to admit adn discuss because it is embarassing and I was brought up to think that I was just being difficult, too sensitive, a pain in the ass and I learned to not express my feelings due to the repurcussions of doing so. I have been on a slew of anti depressants, anxiety medications, gone through about 5 psychiatrists, about 30 counselors, have tried so many different things to rid myself of this horrible natural remedies, faith healing, hands on healing, spiritual organizations, sweat lodges,colonics, you name it, I’ve tried it or thought about trying it. But it is difficult to receive care when finances are bad because of job/apartment switching, and no insurance. For a long time I could not see that I had mental problems, as my family would not/did not recognize them as such, as I could not stay in relationships long enough for someone to say, Hey, These things that you are doing and the way you think and the way you are living your life is not good or healthy. It has only gotten worse and worse over the years and at this time I am applying for disability. Depression and other mental illnesses are DEBILITATING! and it makes me ANGRY when someone who is supposedly an educated person in the health field can not understand how severe depression can be. I can not count the number of times, I thought to myself or said aloud, I just Can not take this (job, realtionship, friendship, apartment,environment, etc) anymore! I am on 4 different medications at this time, and I am still a mess. For many years, I was very good at ‘putting on a happy face’ to do what had to be done, (until I could not take it anymore) and crying myself to sleep every night. I could write more and more and more,(as I can be as manic as I am depressed and both at the same time) but I will stop here. Thanks for having a forum that I can rant on and feel as if there are people out there who will take a minute to read and hopefully understand and sympathize.

I feel that is a bunch of bull. I myself have been suffering from severe depression since I was 13. I don’t work because I feel so ugly and so sad all the time I feel it would be of no benefit for me to work when I can’t take care of myself. I have been rejected from SSI about two times already. They say I don’t have a disability I say they are wrong. Some days I can barely rouse myself from bed because of my depression. It just really irks me that someone says depressed people shouldn’t get disability. I would like to work but I can’t due to my depression, BPD, chronic anxiety, not to mention my alcoholism. That is all I have to say about it.

Thank you for speaking out on this issue. I have seen suffering from depression for many years. I recently went on disability. Their is a stigma associated with this illness. People say things like, I can work, I have bad days too). Its ignorance. Maybe a little jealousy. I’ve worked for many years. The last job I had I was fired for no reason. What I found to be true was I was let go because of my illness and thought I might be a liability to the companies health insurance plan. Oh well, I’m going fishing.

I think if you have depression you should be on ssi.

I have been battling major depression for over 20 years now. With it, I have Fibromyalgia, RLS and Narcolepsey; not to mention other medical conditions that keep me medicated. Through all of the past 20 years, I’ve been working full-time jobs, going to school for my bachelors degree, and going back to school, so I can change careers. I have spent the past 5 years working with mentally ill patients/clients who have diagnoses of depression, PTSD, borderline personality disorder, and I have to say that the majority of them can legitimately work. I began working with a woman over 4 years ago who would hide under her bed because of PTSD and depression symptoms; now, she is working and has her own apartment. I’m not saying her symptoms are gone; they’ll never be. I also have worked with women who were so traumatized that they couldn’t speak, so I spoke for them.
Recovery is a life-long process. I just believe is about choice. I could apply for SS benefits, I certainly have the medical qualifications, but I choose not to. I’ve had near nervous breakdowns and came very close to committing suicide, but I chose not due to personal reasons. I had to endure my ex-husband’s betrayal of adultery of over a year, then go through an extremely painful divorce and I worked through it all. I also have been in counseling for over 2 years; another choice. Working is a choice; not working is another choice. A person can allow their medical condition to decide their fate or they can decide for themselves.

I agree with everything that has been said here, for the most part.
However, the area that no one seems to be addressing is the men outside playing football. If you saw someone with the flu laying in bed awake watching tv all day, then you may say they are well enough to sit at work all day. But we all know, through common sense, our moms, and the media, that when you are sick you need rest and relaxation. So though it may appear that you are better, you are just in the process of doing the act that is best for your health. In this case, rest and relaxation.
Well, the guys playing football is the same idea. Except, for a depressed person, the best medicine is getting out and experiencing joy. Though, to the outsider you may look like you are well enough to go out and work. In fact, you are just doing the act that is going to get you better.
Because people DON’T see it this way, we are actually keeping depressed people down. I’ve only come to the realization lately that I haven’t allowed myself to be happy. Any time I showed to the world that I was having a happy time, it seemed to take away the legitimacy of my depression. If only I spent more time in the happy place, then my happy muscles would get more exercise and I could get out of the depression I’ve suffered for so long. Instead, I perpetuate my depression, flexing my sad muscles, making sure that I atleast come across as miserable so that I will get the care I deserve. This is a very bad cycle.

I do not doubt that I would be happier if I did have a job to go to.
Years of abuse at my fathers hands left me with “moderate” brain damage, virtually deaf and depressed. Being married to a woman who for 25 years despised me for my mental short comings deepend my depression. I began to drink heavily, which aggrivated the root problems. I found myself suicidal and in an alchohol treatment center.
There I learned what I had always known in my heart, but not “officialy”. My hearing really is bad, not from loud noises as I had assumed, but from blows to the head. I have a major problem with depression, that was treatable with medication, but not curable. Once on anti-depressants, I had little problem no longer drinking. A point I would emphasis to those still fighting that battle. It worked for me anyway.
Still, no one will hire me. As whiney as it may sound to some, I just can’t handle stress and work place politics. Worse, my 59 year old body can no longer load trucks and sweep floors for 8 hours. Having a University dagree is of little use if I can not draw upon the information I pounded into my head.
SSDI is a life saver, but it by no means affords you an easy life. Yes, I am sure there are those who try to “use” the system, but they are not nearly so numerous as many assume.

Nethinim

I was unfortunately misdiagnosed with clinical depression. My whole life had been turned upside down after a dehabilitating battle with cancer. I had to learn how to walk all over again, I’ll never be able to have a physical relationship with a partner again and my job was gone. So I was down in the dumps, sad, and frustrated. So of course it looks like depression. But it’s a reaction to the SITUATION I’m in. I would LOVE to have a job and feel like a useful part of society again. I guess that is in part how I figured out that the “clinical depression” diagnosis was wrong for me. Even though I was unhappy and all the rest it is all tracable to my situation. The various medications I was given either had no effect or made me feel worse, not better. Especially when the therapist said things like “these pill will correct a chemical imbalance you have in your brain. You’ll probably have to take them for the rest of your life”. What a pompous donkey!

That said, with all of my physical problems, I don’t know how I could survive without my disability payments, and if a depression is severe enough to prevent someone from functioning, then that is a disability and that person should be able to get the same help someone in my boat gets.

In some ways I agree with the doctor, some people do play with the system. However, if we treat all depression the same,many will go without treatment and start to self medicate. I’m more concerned about the doctor that you mentioned,because he may misdiagnose some clients because of his prior experience with his neighbors. Some who are depressed can benefit from going to work or back to work, and some just are not ready. If they are forced they may do several things: self-medicate, become suicidal, and worst of all…homicical. Let’s not forget many of the high school shootings were done by kids who were depressed.

it has been 7 years since i was diagnosed with bi polar..most times I am in a depressive mood..sometimes I get the high of the mania..it is the mania I love..it is during this time I can function be creative and feel as if I could be part of “NORMAL” again…it never last long..and thank god I have never been successful in my attempts to take my own life…my husband ( we are divorced because of all of this) and I have learned to live with my disability..we have learned that kindness and friendship and most of all loving each other is more important than for me to hold down a job..( worked as a social worker for many years)..I still suffer from depression..I am afraid to look for work because I know that I could not give the 100% I am expected to give..should I qualify for some sort of disability pay…of course I should..should I have the opportunity to try and get some work with an employer who is sensitive to special needs of someone with my illness..of course I should…no employer would disregard my application if I sat in a wheelchair..not knowing that from timeto time I am just as paralized with my illness as if I had no use of my legs..I hope and trust that our younger generation will show more compassion and understanding for individuals suffering then our generation ever did…

I’m a stay at home mom and have battled depression for 10+ years. Some days are okay, but mostly I stay inside, and sometimes in bed, all day. No energy, poor sleep, poor eating habits, too much thinking, worrying, self pity etc.
Living with depression is NOT an easy life. Life may “appear” easy because we often don’t do much of anything productive but really, this is NOT how most depressed people want to live.
I would much rather be out working at a fulfilling job, having friends to go to lunch with everday, LIVING LIFE instead of watching it roll by.

Regarding the ‘lazy neighbours’, perhaps looking at it from a new perspective is in order. What if a friend of their’s showed up and wanted to help lift their mood, or maybe the friend didn’t know about the depression, so the neighbours were faking it, trying to appear happy and energetic. I do that ALOT.
Maybe they were having a good day, which accounts for little when the rest of the week, month or year might be hell.
What if they recently started new meds/treatments which are helping, so they are feeling better and perhaps soon they ‘will’ be able to work.

People who see me on a good day probably wonder why I don’t have a job, but they don’t see the rest of my life.

This doctor should know that you can not generalize because of what you see one or two people doing.

I’ve suffered from depression my whole life, like many of the other bloggers. However, I find that acting like a victim incapable of contributing to society vocationally only exacerbates the problem.
A few years back, I experienced an episode of severe/major depressive disorder. I was put on a medication that actually worsened my condition. Essentially paralyzed, I was truly unable to work and was fired (Actually “released from employment” so I could attend to my medical condition.) I was definitely in a deep pit of clinical depression and emotional despair. I began to think I would never work again. After all, who would hire someone like me? That simply fed into my depression’s downward spiral. I continued, by the encouragement of my support system (family, church friends, pastor), to pursue treatment. (Sometimes they had to make me go to appointments, find another appropriate medication, and take a hard look at some of the root causes of my depression.) It was painful, hard work, and I was, at times, tempted to believe I couldn’t go on, yet that type of thinking is exactly what I needed to resist and fight.
Through prayer, emotional support, medical treatment and hard work, I did find gainful employment, and actually work in social services, where many of my clients suffer from major depressive disorders, and other serious mental health issues and disorders. My personal experience has increased my compassion my effectiveness. I still struggle with depression, but I have tools to assist me in my recovery, including techniques I learned in cognitive behavioral therapy and the mind-renewing promises of my faith. I wonder what would have happened had I given up on employment and applied for disability (There’s often a 3-4 month wait for the initial decision; if the decision is not favorable, you have the whole appeal process to endure.)
In fairness to the doctor, I have come across MANY individuals who feign depression or play it up as a manipulative technique to avoid working. Many doctors have an endless line of people clamoring for SSD, and it’s not always easy to distinguish who’s faking. Let’s not assume that he’s “unintelligent” (please, a stupid doctor?) or “uneducated” just because his experience is different from yours.
Don’t give up. Don’t be a victim. Quit self-pity and believing there’s no hope. Develop a system of support. Find treatment and do whatever you have to do to embrace recovery from depression. Wallowing and giving up is not the answer; it will just push you further down the spiral of despair. Yes, depression is debilitating, but it’s not untreatable. Instead of adopting a victim stance and commiserating that others just don’t understand, view your depression as a challenge to overcome.

I have suffered from depression most of my life, from the time I was 12 until now, at age 29, is still ongoing. At times it was so severe that I tried to kill myself more than once. I have also had the symptoms where I can barely even fuction, or I would some how manage to fake it enough to where people thought nothing was wrong. I have been on meds that have helped, but I’m not always able to afford the medications, hence the recurrence. I know firsthand how debilitataing depression can be, & I believe that those who are suffering from it to that degree of severity should be able to get on disability.

Depression is terrible but some of the medications are worse. The periods of unreality from depression are easier than that from the pills.Either way it is hard to work when you aren’t sure you are really there.
I was on disability from 1979-82 and recently started spiraling downward again. I am out of work again.will I get
SSD again? This time I will let the Lawyers fight it out. SSD does not allow you to live well, only to exist. No vacations, no magazines, cable, no extra’s.

My son suffers from this and is in H.S. the system just ignores their needs and puts them in a category of “bad kids” or trouble makers. Is there anything I can do to get him exceptions made for his schooling so he can still graduate?

Depression is a multifaceted disease. It’s capable of thoroughly destroying people. I have to admit I’ve lived in “the black hole” myself. Almost my entire life w/onset from childhood to middle age. But I have noticed that with the help of melatonin which I’ve used sporatically since I discovered it’s existance in 1990, abstainance from alcohol (and other drugs)a wholesome diet, vitamins, (esp. B complexes) and working only shifts I can actually do (some people are not morning people literally, some will die from working nights humans are not all the same) I don’t get anywhere near AS depressed as I used to. PROPER SLEEP as a PRIORITY, has helped me so enormously I tend to stress this every chance I get. Proper sleep helps me not to be a LOSER. With proper sleep I actually function well as the rule, and generally keep proper perspective of what’s going on around me, giving me more sucess stories than I could have ever hoped for during my younger years. As an added bonus, I don’t get “physically ill” anywhere near as often as I used to. That seems to be the best treatment I could ever get. If one is depressed one might want to have a sleep study done. Could be the major contributing factor to depression is just plain old fatigue.

Just back to work from disability. I feel no better than 2 months ago, this is just another round of the TRD Chronic Depression, OCD, anemia=fatigue,full body pain,….until next time I can’t do it again. I want- need to be on perm-disability fighting for VNS implant for us all who know we are sick without a cure. Just got home, only 12:45 pm hitting the bed……thx to all who share I can’t do it any more, I want to go to Heaven but guilt and my belief stop me.

Please email me…….how hard was it to get disability? Catch any fish? haha
thx very much for your time.

Daddeezgrl@sbcglobal.net
Kelly

I have heard different people say, everyone gets depressed from time to time. Depression is not just being a little depressed. I do not know if you can say depression is a disease, but I know from fact that it can almost ruin you life if you don’t get help and support from you friends and family.

I have suffered from depression for a while now. My first experience was when my son was born, I had post pardom depression. This was in 1972 and doctors didn’t recognize this as a disease. It’s all in your head, they would say. It is a hormonal imbalance as is any depression is. Post pardom depression is caused from hormal imbalance from giving birth.

Other depressions can be caused by many things. My husband left me for almost a year while he was gone off doing God knows what I suffered from depression. It feels like your whole life is gone and you have nothing to live for. I had to get professional help. After 8 or 9 months I was able to get on with my life as is was, but I still had periods where I would just sit and stare at the walls.

My husband came home after about a year. I never have forgiven him for what he did to me and the things that he said to me. I really do not think to this day he even remembers how bad he treated me and hurt me.

I was already on the mend before he came back.I have had several relapes since then and each one was very severe. I tryed to kill myself twice. First time I took a handfull of sleeping pills. The second time I took a big handful of asprin. I was so sick I threw up for 2 days

No one ever knew what was wrong with me. I was lucky I did’nt die. I wanted to die, but afterwords I realized what I had done and I thanked God that I was spared.

Certain things would set me off and I would have a bad relapse. Sometimes I would feel like I was in a strange place and all the feelings I would have seemed like someone else was experirning them. I would hear voices and see things that I could not explain.

I am still on medication, I probably will be for the rest of my life. I can say I am copeing very well now, but there are still times that I feel uneasy and some the say old feeling seem to try and rear their ugly heads. That is when I go and see my doctor and sometimes she has changed my meds and increased the dosage.

For someone to say this is all in my head that is just bull. Even though I can remember a lot of what was goin on, I had no control over what I was doing or thinking, otherwise I would not have tried to kill myself.

I just hope if anyone reading my story suffering from depression that you will get profession help and so not listen to people that tell you to get over it already. Sometimes you cannot just get over it.

I, personally think what the doctor said was taken alittle out of context. Depression just like any other disability can be abused by “lazy ppl”. I dont think that he means that all ppl who say they are depressed are lying. But lets be realistic, alot of ppl get SSI for small so called disabilities just because they dont want to work. Alot of ppl play crazy because they dont want to work. Its those ppl that makes it hard to sometimes believe if someone is faking or if there is actually a problem. Everybody knows that depression can be life threatening and can take a toll on loved ones of ppl who suffer from it. But its just my opinion, that his words were taken out of context.

I like the comments here! Mine is much the same. Only in recent years have there been diagnoses for those mental illness that seem to be fueled by depression. That doctor had to have been uncaring and ignorant. I wasn’t diagnosed for a long time and as a consequence I nearly ruined my childrens lives, and I certainly have always had a financial problem! The manic part of Bipolar Disease is grandiose decisions based on fantasies! It has always seemed like twenty dollars isn’t much but it adds up! I don’t react to sadness or grief as others do. I seem to believe that everything is my fault and feel like a failure. It isn’t and I’m not. I’ve tried working. If I could only work three days out of a week, I’d be pretty good, but which three days? I am a psychologist, and I learned alot about the subject in College. I do feel better when I’m helping someone. Which three days? It’s like fighting an uphill battle covered with molasses.

I recognize a lot of people here! Wow! Hi, everybody! This is crazy Rose. Remember me with all my kids? Amazing that you all found your way here! I’m married, (have been for 8 years) fairly happy, lotsa meds but they seem to work!
Yes, all of my children have it, too! So, it’s more than experiential. I’ll bet your parents fought because one or both were bipolar!

I would say yes it is. Work situations can very easily and often do trigger depressive episodes. I had a work situation which trigger a nearly 5 year depression before I got treatment (Lexapro was a god send).

I’m very sensitive now to any situations which may cause it to reoccur. Work always brings the potential for depression for me, I’m afraid.

I’ve been fortunate to work for the same employer for almost 30 years. Daily medication helps, but difficulty concentrating or sleep problems, are constant challenges. Also anger management. One supervisor nearly fired me, but he was overruled.

You are absolutely right that depression doesn’t get the respect that it deserves! I am sick and tired of the ignorance that abounds out there in the world concerning mental illness! If you have any other illness people are much more understanding. I know that many people just don’t understand why someone who is depressed can’t go to work. Well, I can tell you from my own experience that it is almost impossible to hold a job when you are severely depressed, because it causes a lot of absenteeism. And unless you have an EXTREMELY understanding boss, you will end up losing your job. I managed to keep my job for four and a half years, but eventually everything just fell apart. My mother was very ill & passed away and during that time my boss was constantly on my back about everything, especially about my absenteeism, and it just pushed me into the worst depressive episode I’ve ever experienced. Of course when I told the HR person that I was depressed she wanted me to take family leave so I could get better & assured me I would have a job to come back to. After all, she said, I couldn’t be a good employee unless I was feeling my best. She told me to take my time and get well. What a line! As soon as I applied for disability, they terminated my employment. That threw me into a deeper state of depression and I have been struggling with this for over 5 years now. I’m living on $650 a month (Social Security Disability) and struggle each day to get through the simple tasks of living. It might seem like the easy life to some, but in reality it is usually a living hell. Who do you know that can live well on $650 a month? I haven’t met anyone yet. I worry constantly about money and that just compounds the problem. I tried taking another job and that lasted for 4 months and I was let go. I’ve found that I enjoy doing the work, but I have difficulty getting up and actually getting myself to the job. I really do want to work and would love to find something that I could do from my home computer but haven’t had any luck in finding anything. I wouldn’t wish this illness on my worst enemy. It is a curse. However, there are times when I wish that people who think they have all the answers concerning chronic depression & disability could spend a week living my life. Then I’d like to see what they had to say about it. I guess there will always be ignorance and jealousy in this world, but why anyone would be jealous of someone who is on disability for depression is beyond me. I would gladly trade my depression for a happy life. If anyone knows of any type of legitimate work from home job, please let me know. I would really appreciate it.

Its incredible that I am in the mist of realizing that I am truely unable to hold a job as my resume shows — I am currently going through the process here in ONTARIO, CANADA to see if I can qualify for disabilty — I have been suffering for many many years. I am 34 years old and its very hard to cope. I see someone mention they would gladly trade in depression to have a happy life — I can agree — I dont want be a bum. I would love to work, but who will higher me. I can’t get a good nights rest. I really am smart but with no sleep I am useless and with NO financal assistances I dont think I could survive this life on Earth… I need help and I am so glad that there are professionals to help me cope and deal with this terrible, terrible thinking of the brain. I say ” I hate my brain, I hate my brain” for I can not control my damn thoughts — I wish I could be normal. Medication is the key but you never know what triggers your moods. I leave that to the doctors.

My experience with depression was literally like living hell. My primary care physician tried drug after drug. It was a nightmare. My situation was complicated by the fact that I was dealing with chronic pain. I lost the ability to sleep. No kidding. One drug (Temazepam) would shut my mind down. Doctors thought my pain was brought on by depression. I knew better, but no one would listen. My life was falling apart. I wasn’t able to care for my husband and kids as I had done in the past. I went from being a very active person to (disabled). My husband walked out of my life. The children went to live with him. I ended up in the hospital due to an overdose. I swallowed a lot of pills. I may have been severely depressed, but I am not the kind of person who would ever take my own life. When I finally found a therapist who knew her stuff (thank God), she explained how one of the drugs I was taking had the known side effect of causing one to react or act out behavior(s) one may think of, but normally would never actually do. All of a sudden, things started to become clearer. It has been a year now since I met this Angel/therapist. She specializes in psychiatric meds and cognative therapy. She was the one person (and I made many calls to many doctor/therapist’s)who turned my life around. I was diagnosed with PTSD and she knew drugs and their risks/side effects better than anyone I’ve met in my journey. And she didn’t stop there. She helped me focus on the things I could do to make a positive change in myself. She even helped me to find someone to help me with my pain. It took time, but she never let me give up. Her calm spirit, her simplistic approach to life and her true caring nature brought me to that place in my life I had only dreamed of. I still am in pain, my depression and anxiety are self managed now. Her words of wisdom echo in my head. “It’s OK, just breath, relax and take a moment to feel whatever it is you’re feeling at the moment”. For all of you out there with similar situations…keep searching…you will eventually find whatever it is you need.

I didn’t know that in some countries, depression is one of acceptable disability by the government, where you can apply to have some benefits.

I live in Malaysia. And the stigma, I mean the mind setting of the the community is not really well develop about mental health. But hoping for the better always.

Depression..it’s hurt and it’s not our fault, it’s just test of life, our life is just a bit more challenging than other normal not-depressed person such as the “doctor”.

I am agree with you Nancy. People should tolerate about us. We are not faking it, ain’t we? It is disability, indeed.

take it like this, as example blind person is also a disabled person. it’s up to the person itself to enjoying his life or stay in self-sympathy. Why not take the needed advantages that provided, that are legal to us, makes life easier. Nothing too much is good, don’t always take things for granted. for everything we take, each has its price:)

This doctor obviously had some jealousy issues over having to work and see the guys having fun. But, were they really having fun? Depression is not FUN. If they were outside, good for them! They may have even had difficulty doing that much that day.
I suffer from depression. I have for many years. There is the stupid stigma about mental illness that will never go away as long as there are arrogant, judgemental people out there. So, we have to live with it and fight for everything we recieve. If you are able to recieve benefits for diability due to depression then GOOD FOR YOU! I also want to say, don’t abuse the system. The ones who abuse the system are the ones that make it so tough on the rest of us. I work full time and have several part time jobs as well. I have a teenage daughter and am a single mom. Some days are better than others but, I do try to exercise and do things for myself (without feeling guilty about it).
So, I support disability for depression. This should be taken up with those that can make the changes in the rules and laws of disability tho and don’t waste time complaining, DO SOMETHING. Write to your legislators. Write to the insurance companies. Write to the disability agencies.
Make a difference.

People ILL with depression should have same accomidation in the workplace as people with any other medical condition. If You can function most of the time, but every once in a while the world is too big , it should not cost you your job – there needs to be legislated accomidation – even if you have used all your sick days….I have depression. Have for most of my life. I am fortunate, I have a wonderfully understanding boss who lets me keep some work at home so I can slow down when I need to. I don’t stop, I just change pace. She listens and when it starts building up on me I ask for clarification on priorities and explain which projects I am delaying rather than allow myself to get overloaded and produce and implosion… Most employers won’t do that. If there are accomidations for migraine sufferers, PMS, back injuries, etc — then depression needs to have accomidations as any other DISEASE. But I am not in favor of it being a disbility wherein you can get a check every month unless one is at the point of chronic major depression and should be institutionalized. Get up and do something – if you can not hold a job at this time, then volunteer at your church just once, just for one hour. See ! You did it! Now make 2 appts – work yourself back up and back in, If you put your life in your control, rather than your disease control, you are living. Be WELL. -C

Before I applied for SSDI, I was living on my savings and still had hope that I would get better. I had taken short-term disability and my extended leave from work and was feeling better when I tried to go back to work, which my doctor said would be the best thing for me. At the time, he would not support an application for long-term disability. I tried going back to work, but I got layed off. Then I lost my health insurance about the same time when I ran out of money.

The SSDI process can take up to two years, during which I had no health care and my situation spiraled out of control. Only then would my (former) doctor support an SSDI application, and it was almost too late financially.

You really need to consult a disability lawyer before you begin the process. I was denied the first pass because the file I submitted did not include enough of the right information to get a ruling in my favor. A doctor’s statement prepared for the appeal hearing resulted in a decision on the spot in my favor.

Even with SSDI, Medicare doesn’t kick in for two years from date of onset. At a time when you need health care the most, you STILL can’t get what you need and are at the mercy of the pharaceutical companies for prescription assistance.

Now that I have Medicare, my medical situation is a little better but not much. Medicare requires a 50 percent co-pay for mental health care, instead of a much lower co-pay charged for primary care or other specialists. Don’t they realize that mental health providers ARE primary care for people with disabling mental illness?!

How people can “fake” their way into SSDI is beyond me. It seems the length of the process is designed to weed out those with marginal cases; those who actually can work have to in order to pay the bills. I’m not sure how I actually got through it. The gap before Medicare is the real problem that needs to be addressed.

It can be done and it is being done. Nobody is saying that depression is not an illness. The fact is life isnt easy. We all know that. Life is full of stress. We have ups and downs. Thats the nature of life. The problem is there are ppl out there who try get over on the government by “pretending” to have certain mental and physcial handicaps. Its not right, but its happening. They are no different than “Welfare Generations”. Those are ppl who have children just so they can recieve money and food stamps. I still think the Doctor’s words were taken out of context. Reality is alot of ppl do not want to work and if they have to put on alittle to get a check a mth, they will. Have anyone seen the show “Busted On Camera” or something like that. Its a show that showed ppl being taped doing work that they previously said they couldnt do and were recieving SSI benefits. Its upsetting to see for many reasons. One being; yes there are ppl out there who really needs help but cant get it and here’s someone with absolutely no problems at all recieving money they dont deserve. Secondly, to know that you go to work everyday to earn an honest living, paying taxes just so someone undeserving can sit around all day doing nothing when they’re capable of working. We recognize Depression and I wish you all the best, but it doesnt change the fact that while you are suffering through it and struggling, there is somebody out there thats not but there making money off of it.

I suffer from treatment-resistant depression. I have taken at least thirty different meds of various dosages and even endured ECTs, and found no relief. I finally decided to apply for disability benefits, both through Soc. Sec. and through my work’s disability program. My file must have showed how badly I am suffering from depression since I was approved very quickly 11 months ago. Not having to work outside the home is a great load off my mind, but I can’t even function at home either. I sleep 6 hours a day in addition to my 9 hours at night.

It’s no fun having a payee either. My hubby pays my bills. My daughters help stay with me at different times during the day in case I dip into deep depression and consider suicide. It’s a living hell!

I say give disability checks to those who worked but can no longer handle it. BTW, I worked 19 years at the same educational system. I just couldn’t work any more.

i am sill woefully confused as to whether i am depressed, an alcoholic, or suffering from M.E all the symptoms appear to be the same.

Well I dont have or suffer from any of the above problems, but……….my husband of 25 yrs has bi-polar, severe manic depression high risk suicide and Im here to tell you it has not been a picnic!!! I have seen him go completely manic and not know what he doing, so sir doctor as you call yourself, come live in my house for awhile and than form an opinion, live in my shoes or any of these ppl that do suffer from this real illness, learn what it iz like to have to have your husband locked up in a ward cuz he keeps trying to kill himself cuz he has no control, Im blessed these days as he got some very good help from real doctors that know what iz goin on, they took him off anti-depresants and put him on a mood elevator and what a difference it has made for our homelife. So there iz some help just need to find the right doctor.. to all you that suffer my heart goes out to you, and I do hope someday you find the peace so much deserve good luck…. and DOC… go bacc to school for humanity it may pay off for you!!! (doubt it)

I am currently receiving disability for depression along with other physical reasons. I would go to work and constantly be on edge, terrified of my boss and any criticism they would send my way. I avoided my boss by coming into work late or leaving work early. I firmly believe that if a person is suffers from depression that makes working virtually impossible, then that person should be allowed to receive whatever form of disability they are entitled to.

I have biplor disorder and depression Im63 yrs old I work all my life I nad to go on -+disabale because of physal problems but I work with my depression it was so hard to work I made a lot of mastake I try suide 7 time twp i al most did to not be able to go on ssd or ssi it would be wrong we have mental problems so let us go on S.S.D

Depresion in it’s hundreds of forms is just beginning to be understood as a TOTAL brain illness which affects individuals mentally, physically and spiritually.
Anyone who has takrn the time really research the illness can understand it. Moral judgements by people who need to mind their own business are something to be avoided people.
Contempt prior to investigation is ignorance

I have suffered from Depression for as long as i can remember.For years and years i struggled to work.I couldn’t cope and it did interfer with my work.Working wasn’t a option.I want to work and provide for my family more than anything.But ever time i end up on the verge of a nervious break down.If it interfers with my work to the point my condition is made worst.Where i have physical conditions as a result which effect my work.Then yes it’s a disability.I have agoraphobia,social phobia,stress-anxiety and panic disorder through it.There is so much to go into.But unless someone has really suffered from depression,then they couldn’t understand what we go through and suffer on a daily bases.

Thank you so much for writing this article. I do not receive disability but am trying my best to work. Today was the worst so far. I have trouble sleeping and when I finally do get to sleep, I have trouble waking.
I should get to work around 9 in the morning and didn’t make it in until just before noon.
This time, I had a believable excuse. But the doctor saying people should work who can’t is clueless. It is like a male obstetrician trying to tell a woman in labor to chill out.
If you have never experienced it, you may have a difficult time understanding. Some people can be empathetic, but others cannot.

How I would like to know the name of this doctor. Shame on him or her. I have been fighting the discrimination towards people with mental illnesses, particularly treatment resistant depression, and to hear this blatant discrimination from someone in the medical field simply amplifies why many people who are suffering depression would tend not to seek help. I’d like to ask this doctor that if a blind person was forced to see, could they? Would he/she tell a paraplegic to get off their lazy behinds and simply walk? No. Of course not. Please google Ziggy Baitz on her article on depression, written some years ago. I would rather have my breast cancer return if it meant I would not have one more moment of depression. I am disgusted and infuriated that depression is seen as something so easily cured by being “forced” to go to work. Try that, Dr, when you can’t get out of bed for days, or clean your teeth, eat, wash yourself, try suicide. Ignorance on this topic and illness is as bad, if not worse, than in the past.

I can’t seem to get a grip on this. No one understands, and yes, life is empty. It’s too hard to live. I don’t plan for the future, I don’t think I’ll be here too live it.
I don’t like to be around people, when someone does knock on my door, I usually stay quiet til they leave.
I have gained weight which makes matters worse. I have no interest in anything anymore. I can’t bring myself to leave my house unless it’s forced on me. I peep thru the blinds, wishing I wanted to go out and face the world, but I don’t. It’s an ememy because I don’t know what is keeping me here.
I am here today only because I can say this without anyone saying I am lazy or snap out of it.
If that doc doesn’t think this is a disability, I wish he could trade places with me.
I would love to know what it feels like to be happy again, I have forgotten.

I have suffered from Bi-Polar/Manic Depression for the last 20 years; however was not “officially” diagnosed until this past august after I tried to kill my husband. But depression is very disabling because there are some days that you can barely do anything except blink and try to breathe if you want to. I can recall mornings holding my breath as long as i could just to see how it would feel not to breathe at all. I “functioned” at a very very high level and no one knew. I’m very educated, very well known in my community and well thought of. I was thought of as a “wonderful mother who takes excellent care of her children, a faithful daughter who cares for her ailing parents and an attentive wife who keeps her husband well taken care of.” No one had a clue. My co-workers had no clue. I have been out of work since the end of June last year because in one of my depressed states I could not take it anymore and I quit. Not long after I had a hypermanic episode unlike any other two days in a row and was involuntarily committed. Since then I have had to overcome panic attacks, learn how to think enough to form coherent sentences and also not be afraid to come outside. I don’t like to be out alone and i don’t like to talk to others because i get very frustrated. Yes, i am on medication which at times renders me “mediciny” feeling. I have to go back to work even though I am not fully ready because we need the money. Depression is a monster that has tormented only me in my head but now it is tormenting my family because I’m not the same person. If there was any way I could live in my bed i would. if that’s not disabling, what is?

I am 54, and was first treated for depression in 1971. I had been fortunate to recognize the depressive symptoms early, sought help immediately, and life was disrupted very little. I was happily married, had good work, and three wonderful kids. In August 2001 we received the phone call no parent wants to receive. Our 21 year old son was brought in unconscious after hanging himself in his dorm room. We spent the next six and a half days at the hospital, and never left. He died, and since this time, I have struggled with depression and also PTSD. I underwent 12 sessions of the brutal ECT, and received no benefit. I had a seizure as a result of one of the antidepressants I was taking. Six years later, I am unable to work and now receiving disability. My wife and I have recently separated after 32 years of marriage, and remain friends. The tragic death of our son proved to be more than we could handle together. I love my two daughters very much, and am proud of how well they are doing. But for myself, this loneliness created by another huge loss has me afraid for my safety. I knew it was coming, but still felt totally unprepared. I worry that like my son’s death, I will never get over it, and my future is only crying by myself. The security provided with the disability I receive monthly has kept me from a life of homelessness or death.

hi there my story and health has taken me over board lost my job due to going on a leave for sickness new boss make it very difficult to work then i lost my home and loved me in a battle over a will became very sick hv worked over 37 years loved working still in court battle to go home then i find out due to old neck injury i hv headaches etc then back gives out i hv degenterative dic disease of L5-2 some days can hardly get out of bed would walk 2hrs per day unable to sit or stand for long period i am on sleeping disorder pills pain killers anexity meds and on accupture once a week i filed with federal goverment they wrote me Jan 18/08 and told me to get a job i have called several paralments to help get some income it is all paper work. i suffer everyday my chiro replies that my back disease is with age and to strenghen it i hv done this for my last 50years i feel after working for these years i whould be intitled to some income. someone give me some hope col

How do you get help when you have nothing?

I am so grateful for your comment. I suffer depression and panic attacks. I worked for 6 years with this illness. It took the Dr.’s nearly 3 years to finally diagnose what was going on with me. They thought I had MS and all kinds of different things. Meantime I got worse and worse. By the time I was finally diagnosed, I was terrified to drive my car any distance or place that I was not familiar with. I could not eat in certain restaurants if the lighting was not right. I was in an ambulance or being taken to the hospital approx. once a week. I was terrified, I was loosing my ability to take care of my children and hold down a high paying job. The Dr.’s started putting me on different medications. One after the other. Some made me suicidal, some made me rage, some made me cry all the time and so on. Eventually after 4 more years of it, I lost my job due to using up all of my intermittant medical leave due to the problem. And I applied for disability. I will say that being at home constantly and not being productive at all makes me even more depressed, but lessens the panic attacks. I only ran across this site because I decided to try to find a support group. Looking for help. My current medication’s had been helping for awhile, and now I am getting bad again. Crying all the time, Not wanting to live but trying to stick in there for my husband, grown children, grandchildren and because of my beliefs. There are many times however in the last several weeks I have felt like I was going to loose the battle. Being on disability for Depression or anxiety or related illnesses is no picnic for anyone. It is alot of people’s dream to not have to work. But it is no fun when you don’t have to work and you don’t have any money and you don’t have medical coverage and you can’t have fun anyway because you are too messed up in the head to do so most of the time. I thank you once again for your comment.

Once I went through a nasty divorce, something hit me at work one day very hard that my blood pressure, my heart, my all went haywire and from there I could not go back to work. Three years ago this happend to me and I cannot be in a high pressured job, it kills my nerves. I fell into a deep depression for 6 months and then coming through that I ended up with panic attacks. I live day to day. Disability does not see this is something hard in which I was told there are med’s out there to help you cope. I find this wrong. An entire process we have to go through before we are even approved. I can say once this hit me, I have never been the same me again, always fearing what might happen again and I never want to go back to this dark place. It’s with me now and it’s tough to be able to work 8-5 each day. I get very tired even after three hours, I get very weak and my mind also and I must lay down as I do either at home or even visiting with a friend, they will see me fall right out into a sleep, this was not the other me before depression. A doctor can say what he wants but if he has not been in our shoes, he should just keep quiet. The books in medical school they learn from is far much differant than actually going through the entire process.

I have been living with depression for years, and it hurts. Everyone that lives with the illness knows there problems better than anyone else. We live our lives the best we can, and yet we are insulted in one way or another.
I have been trying to get help for about 4 months now, and it has been one disapointment after another. I am getting the message that depression is not important. Depression is not a choice, it just happens.
Lets just keep in mind that, for those that live with depression, we are people too. We don’t want to be insulted, we do not want to live with depression, all we want is help, and understanding. For those that do not understand what we have to deal with, then take a walk in my shoes for a day. And chances are that it will scare the tee totaly day lights out of you.
Please visit this website Suicide.org this site contains alot of information that can be very helpful for everyone understanding facts on depression.

I stumbled across your blog as I sit here in my late mother’s home — another day, sitting around in my bathrobe — unable to do much if anything. I am on state disability because of depression but am ashamed of myself because I think I should be able to continue work. I taught high school for 28 years, and especially at the end, did exactly what you wrote about — willing myself out of bed at the very last minute, dragging myself through the days, yet pushing myself beyond my limits because I thought I should be able to do better. Eventually, on a Sunday night, several weeks into my 29th year, I had a nervous breakdown. I never returned to teaching. After five months of using all my savings & cashing in insurance policies, I was granted state disability — less than half of what I made as a teacher. Then five months ago, my mother died very unexpectedly. I didn’t think my depression could become worse, but it has deepened. I don’t answer the phone, leave only to purchase a few groceries, and sometimes don’t even dress. The anti-depressants I’ve been taking for over a decade appear to be useless. I’ve twice participated in an out-patient program at a local psychiatric facility. I’ve been in therapy for most of my adult life. Needless to say, I feel like a failure. I can fake it for short periods of time, but then I retreat to four walls and cut off contact with the outside world. I even attended a grief support group for six weeks, but I don’t think it made much difference. To those critics who say, get off your butt, think positive thoughts, and live, I say, you don’t have a clue how hard it is to live each day thinking each day is not worth living. Perhaps I just don’t want it badly enough. I’ll accept that — and continue on my not-so-merry way. Yes, it is an invisible disability as well as a shameful one. Surely, the Native American prayer applies here: “O Great Spirit, grant that I may never find fault with my neighbor until I have walked the trail of life in his moccasins.”

Ive been on nnumerous anti-depressants with very little positive results if any. And I am afraid at 50,that i might be hauled in for a review and loose it,having not worked in 8 years.I am concerned,since Ive been kicked out of psych care 2 times in 8 years,for argueing with counselors,and generally being frustrated..Any need to worry here? does anyone know a good psych doctor in Omaha that takes Medicare,im almost out of medication.

UCLA Research Study

Are you depressed and having insomnia?

If you are between 18 and 64 years old, and are experiencing symptoms of depression and insomnia, you may be eligible to participate in a study at UCLA that examines the effects on mood, cognition (aspects of thinking like memory, attention, decision-making), life functioning and satisfaction, brain chemistry, and brain activity during treatment with an antidepressant plus a medication for insomnia.

Participants in this confidential project will be interviewed by the researchers, undergo treatment with an antidepressant plus a medication for insomnia, have their brain waves measured with the EEG (electroencephalogram), and have blood drawn.

Participants receive up to $250 in compensation for completing all the activities in this eight-week study.

For more information, visit http://www.DepressionLA.com or call 310-825-3351

i just wasn’t respected for’ playing hookey’…

Hi,
I think people with depression should work.
I had depression and when I found work, my Depression decreased.However, I think people with very bad Depression should not have to work. They should work at trying to cure themselves

Hello,
I have fought depression off and on for years. I think I have probably fought it my whole life.

I was judged in a negative light when I would become so depressed that I became physically ill. My family was the worst about this, and co-workers tried to understand, but did not really understand that well. I never went to an actual mental hospital. I did go to a hospital that treats addictive disorders and co-dependency. I went for co-dependency. I even met resentment there from the other clients because I was not addictive to medication, but to people and what they thought.

I had the same crummy coping mechanisms that they had. I learned a great deal there. I learned adult coping mechanisms, how to recognize my feelings, how to deal with problems. I learned that for me, I grieve over almost everything. I grieve if I stub my toe. Do I recognize this rieght of way? No, I do not. I have to figure out what is bothering me. I practice the principles of the Alanon program. I grew up in a world where things were not logical and I learned really crummy coping mechanisms as a result. They worked as a child in that type of atmosphere, but not in the real world. The 12-step program of Alanon has given me a map for life. As a result, I have learned so much more about my religion that I never really understood.

Later in life, my mother had problems with migraines and depression. She told me one day that she had judged me to hard. I asked her what she was talking about and she said, “I had never had a migrain before, now I have and it is terrible. I had never been depressed before, now I have and it is terrible. I always thought that you were weak, but that was not it at all, you were ill.”

Do I still get depressed? Yes I do. I have to stay on top of it all the time.

Do I think that it is a good reason for disability? Sometimes I do. I do home visits on Medicaid patients and I see some that I think are just milking the government. Other I see, I think they have ligitimate reasons to stay home. I don’t think they are fit for a job.

However, I do think that most people with depression, would benefit from therapy that will help them to get back on top. If they would do that many could get back into the workforce, at least part time.

We do not encourage these people to stay home, we encourage them to get out and see people and do things. Depression is not fun, and it is hard to deal with; but one must deal with it to get better.

Thanks.

Thanks for recognizing that we who struggle with treatment-resistant depression may look good on the outside but barely get through many days.

I am a former mental health professional who has not held a job in over 15 years due to depression and PTSD. I would much rather have interesting work and a good income than live on SSDI and struggle financially and personally.

My father and mother always considered me a hypochondriac. Even recently, my father said that I should “find more diagnoses,” as though I want to be ill. I also have asthma, fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis, among other ills.

Believe me, I wish to be healthy and do all I can to be healthy both mentally and physically, even pushing myself too hard at times, which is counter-productive.

I only wish those who are blessed with never being depressed could understand the pain that comes with unremitting depression.

BJ

Thanks for the blogs. It stimulates my thinking. Over time I have found myself smart enough to develop useful coping strategies that worked well enough for me to be self sufficient. Without my ‘hidden’ limitations I would have made much more money. Much smarter I would have made much more money.

Some people somehow have enough money they are regarded just ‘eccentric’. Some people have been able to work for themselves and adjust their work patterns to pay the bills.

The circumstances where depression,(extended to BP where depression is a debilitating component), is questioned as a disease, comes up when the condition affects work ability for an employer.

In the work community, the focus is usually on productivity and making a profit. The exception is in governmental work and some non-profit work where the wellness of the worker is given broader concern. Otherwise, the logo is, if you can’t work, we don’t care.

If the limitation is clearly defined physical, sympathy is easier because credibility is obvious. Even so, if you can’t work we don’t care. If the injury is work related, the general community has insisted on concern by Worker Compensation or litigation. Even so, support is often reluctant and in an atmosphere where skepticism is sought. Notoriously, back injuries are scrutinized for the ‘fakes’.

The same is true for very obvious mental conditions, best recognized with Schizophrenia. Even so, financial support is largely family based, and work is often not possible or managed with very limited demand tasks. The community support system is often very limited and fragmented, including SSDI.

Treatment often suffers and quality of life is wanting. Intermixed is lost credibility based on the assumption that at least some people prefer not to work if they can get away with it. Therefore, make it very difficult to get a ‘free’ ride. Same message, if you can’t work and we can, we don’t care. Please disappear.

So, what of a ‘hidden’ condition like depression that can be easily faked and may be too common to be supported by public funding? When the average person has neither the ability, interest, nor the time to tell the difference between a rationalized condition and the range of intensities of true depression, the answer is we don’t care.

The point is, rather than lament the brutal unkindness experienced in response to genuine depression, seek out those who would be supportive of you. Cultivate those friendships. Lament will worsen depression. Isolating,hiding out, sensing shame, a natural tendency, will reduce hugely the ability to seek out the helpful ones.

The larger the circle of helpers you can develop the better. Depression is very debilitating and can produce at times a total inability to function. Treat yourself kindly when greatest despair comes, take care of whatever is absolutely necessary, and wait for the better times to build and maintain helper relationships.

Having too few helpers imposes a huge burden on those who would help. Work to spread around the assistance and be fully prepared to do everything in your capacity to do those things you can do and not pass those tasks to others. Like walking, groceries, calling, meeting, having humor days. Whatever you can discover you can do will help.

Those helpers include medical care providers. Be prepared to actively participate in a dialogue with them. If your voice is not listened to, continue to seek helpers until your voice can be heard. Absolutely no one has all the answers. So it is o.k. that you do not have all the answers.

I hope this is helpful for you. I have found much of it helpful for me in dealing with those ‘hidden’ limitations.

I’ve known people with depression and although they weren’t on disability it was extremely hard for them to even function enough to get out of bed some days.

Of course this Dr. might have seen these guys outside playing football, but I bet he didn’t see what went on when they were inside their house. Maybe they were feeling well enough to go out for a little while those times, but would they be able to handle the stress of work? Probably not.

I was on disability for awhile myself after becoming a quadriplegic. I had already been blind since birth and people were still really rude to me whenever I went out of the house. They seemed to have the attitude that because I was on disability and able to leave the house I should have been working. It seems this guy has the same attitude.

Of course depression is a legitimate disability!
I’ve been suffering from chronic depression for a long time now. I have no energy. My sleep is disrupted. I have basically been bed ridden for the past two years. I had to quit my job, because I could no longer work due to high anxiety and depression.
Depression sucks the life out of you. I am only 29, but I feel like I’m 99.
I lay in a bed all day long. I dont watch tv, I have little interest in anything, I can barely get the energy to get up and find something to eat.
On top of that, I have isolated myself from
people as well.
So yes, depression is definetly a legitimate disability. Mental illness is pure torture.
I suffer so much. When someone has a mental illness, people aren’t so nice about it. They think you can ’snap out of it.’
You may get called ‘crazy.’
But if you were suffering from something physical, say cancer, people want to send you cards and gift baskets and offer to help you out. People have more sympathy for those who suffer from physical problems.
It’s sad. It’s the reason why there are so
many homeless people living on the streets, because of the lack of help for mentally ill people.
And just because someone can go to a store one day or leave the house for a day doesn’t mean they can work a full-time 8 hour a day job. There are days when the depression
seems to be better. Then there days when it is completely horrible. And I don’t know of any employer who is going to allow their employee to call out sick like 20 times a month because they can’t get out of bed due to their depression or anxiety. Mental illnesses are upredictable sometimes. Sometimes you can do something and you surprise yourself. And sometimes you can do nothing at all.
I suffer tremendously with mental issues.
I also suffer physical symptoms as well due to my depression and anxiety such as racing heart, shortness of breath, severe headaches, nausea, diarehhia, extreme fatigue, aches and pains….etc.
So, yes, depression is a debilitating disability. I hope that those who are suffering with it will be able to get
the financial help they need.
And my heart goes out to those who are
suffering with this terrible disease.

Do people bilk the system? Sure. Is that really relevant to the rest of us? Is it relevant to most of the people who have spoken here, so personally, and painfully?

There is nothing that I can add that hasn’t already been said. But allow me to add my own personal experience. Let me tell you what Depression has done to my life.

I’m 61, white male, well educated. I have held good positions in my work career but have never been able to work up to my potential. There were other factors involved as well but I lost three jobs that a healthier person would have been able to work through. I haven’t worked since 1990. Before divorce I survived on my wife’s salary. A friend helped for some time after that (but is now suing me). My first major depressive episode was in 1977 although it is likely that I have been depressed my whole life. I’ve been in therapy since then. (off and on, mostly on). I’ve had migraines pretty regularly since then; irritable bowel syndrome so bad that I wanted to kill myself; sleep apnea; insomnia and hypersomnia; tmj (mild to moderate); libido, zip.

Still think I’m only making all this up for SSDI benefits?

I have three brothers all of whom are recovering alcoholics. I have three sisters all of whom are being treated for depression. One sister has a daughter who has been hospitalized for extended periods for attempted suicides. Five of six of those siblings are seriously obese, one moderately obese. My older sister suffers from personality disorder and has been married and divorced three times.

All the meds I have been prescribed over the years have been of no therapeutic value. As of next year I will have no health insurance at all. I have started going to the County for public health services but frankly I’m not sure why I’m doing this. When I see doctors I ask for any help they can provide.

My poor sleep and hypersomnia are making any hope of working just not possible. Not even maybe.

One of my most pressing issues is that I can’t do ANYTHING. On top of that list is the energy to download the SSDI forms. I should have done this years ago. My psychiatrist even said she would help me fill out the forms. Yea, I’ll do it tomorrow. Unpaid bills-by the box full. Eating has become a chore. Life has become a chore.

So let’s see. I have become, over the years, completely isolated, ie, no support group—brothers and sisters are unable and unwilling to keep in touch as well as spread out geographically; I’m not in a work environment; I keep to myself and have no friends. Shortly I will have no health insurance. Within a year or two I will be out of money and truly unable to work. My medical bills are burying me. Many are unrelated to depression but the bill is still very real. (The Cobra insurance is worthless.) Even if I could afford health insurance no one is going to insure against these pre-existing conditions.

To all of you who have posted please know that the rest of us understand. To those of you who have some kind of situational depression (ie, divorce, a family death, loss of a job) talk therapy and meds will probably help, don’t be reluctant. If you are not happy with your mental health professional don’t stay!! find a better one. To those of you who live with some more permanent type of Depression and are not helped by meds and talk therapy, try to find a empathetic friend and don’t associate with people like that “Doctor” mentioned above. No, it’s far from perfect, but a hug from time to time is wonderful.

If you are home alone and feeling desperate, I really don’t know what to say. What I have recently learned however is that the mental health professionals don’t really know what depression is. There is such a high percentage of people who fall into this later group (something like 1/3, although I’ve heard varying numbers) that it is likely that this group suffers from something different and they (the professionals) simply don’t know what it is. No I’m not making this up.

In other, words we are not being treated. That has profound implications. Think about it for a minute.

Ya’ gotta love this: “I think people with very bad Depression should not have to work. They should work at trying to cure themselves” Yeah, there is also that sh-t to put up with.

Please don’t bother me, I’m busy curing myself.

It’s sad to say but I understand why people commit suicide. I understand that depth of despair that says there are no more options.

Don’t for a minute listen to anyone who says it isn’t real.

God bless.

Here it is 4:40 am, I’m supposed to return to work today after being on sick leave for 20 months. I’m very lucky to be employed by the government and have not lost much income. The last time I was at my workplace (local Hospital) I was nearly dead from a overdose of my sleeping pills, my coworkers in the Emerg dept. were quite helpfull and attentive to my situation, the next day I was sent to another Hospital 300 miles away for a 72 hour psychiatric asessentment (last October) which I must have passed as the Psychiatrists said I was sane and could return to work after the New Year. So to return this day is not going to happen and I will apply for permenat disabily, that should have been done 15 years ago during my second major breakdown when I was 33 years old. I have only held on to my employment, with help from my union, and “acting” normal, also I had a very good psychtrist who kept my condition secret as best he could for 30 years. Now I will have to see what tomorrow will bring, (I’m expecting the worse) and hopeing for the best.

I have lived with depression most of my life however, didn’t seek treatment due to the stigma attached to someone with a mental illness, I would say I’m not crazy….. At the age of 17 and rejected by my boyfriend I thought what the F*#K is wrong with me… My mother bamled me for her having to acknowledge my older sister was not my fathers biological child, I was 11 years old… My father and mother sat us down to explain to us they were getting divorced, and to save m oney we were going to vote to see who we would live….Five kids two didn’t get to vote my two year old sister and my mothers oldest daughter….I choose to live with my mom and my brother choose to live with my dad my younger looked at my brother and I an said I want to stay with dad…..That was it I really felt it was unfair that my older sister got to live with my mom and not I….I was upset and stormed off to my room, my mother walked in and sternly said ” Do you want to know why Your sister is staying with me?” and I said yes and she said because your father isn’t her biological daughter and if you hadn’t thrown such a fit nobody would ever have to know…. She went on to say and know that secret is out you might as well know that you have a another brother that was placed in adopition when you were four years old, he would be about seven today…. My mother told me on several ocassions I should have stayed with my father because she never wanted me in the first place I was 14 years old that day. Because my little shoved me off the picnic table and I was ready to pound her face in….. My father blamed me because my two year old sisterwas not allowed to move in with my mother because my dad said he would never split us up…. So once that was my doing according to my father….At the age of 17 feeling rejected again, I thought to myself you know what this living crap just is to much I don’t like it so F*%K em all walked in the bathroom locked the door and took a bottle of tylenoland what valuim I could find, if the pill was in the medicine cabinet I consumed it…. Unlocked the door and told my mother I was going for a walk…. My best friend and sister went with me ….I went to the neighborhood park to swing and set out to climb a local hill, then once I felt like I was far enough from home I told my sister and my friend about my medication cocktail I had consumed…. That was 30 years ago and there have been one other thought, however I had three small kids whose father should a lack of intrest in so I considereing taken uas all out because you know I sure as hell didn’t want them to be raised by my parents and I didn’t want them to experience the rejection from their father so the plan was to take on last trip to the coast and take the kids with me over a cliff right in to the ocean….That’s when a frind of mine who battled bi=polar convinced me to go to white bird who did a short screening and told me there were 11 sypmtoms of depression and I possedsed 7 of of those and crying wasn’t one of them ….a couple days later and thinking the coast trip would just rid the world of me and mine was constanly on my mind just waiting to get paid so I ncan head to the coast…..I would drive to work and half way there I had to call and say I just can’t make it today…. that wen on for a week and a half and then I made it to work, but broke down 10 minutes later and told my supervisor what was going on….he and I met with Human Resources and I was hospitalized and diagnosed with clinical depression….I took medication for two years went of the meds… Then my sister died and I went back on them because suicide was my only hope…it’s been 15 years the kids are all grown, four grandkids, and for the first time in my life I live alone…I have to say suicidal thoughts I still have…. Even though I take 2 anti-depressiants, two anxiety medication and 1 medication for the times when anxiety gets to where my chest is invaded by extremly sharp pains that feel like a heart attack…. two sleep medications….Clinical depression I understand….30 years later and still hurt by the rejection my father expressed so well… As a matter of fact they only time I felt like my father loved me was the morning after my first suicide attempt and he came into my room with tears in his eyes and said Jackie you know I love you, that was the only time he ever said those words to me when I felt he was sincere….that was 30 years ago alot has changed choices he’s made, and staements he’s made and still I am still struggling to put the past in the past…. I was goiing to make peace with him on October 21 2007, however he passed away on October 13, 2007 I don’t miss him, it’s hard to miss someone who choose to keep their distance….

#72 Rick check with the local hospital and see if they have a patient’s assistance program…..They helped me before I was given a medical card just by good luck in a lottery my name was selected…. Prior to that most medications came directly from the company that makes it….

i’m bipolar but a stable bipolar.the reason i’m diagnosed as unemplyable is due to the sleep disorder that accompanises the bipolar.if i so much as have a doctore’s appointment or a luncheon date scheduled for tuesday afternoon i’ll either not be able to sleep monday night or i’ll wake up on and off constantly..i magine if i had to hold a daily job down!! i’m constantly being criticised by people for not working and have actually lost friends over it.being accuse dof everything from faking it to being lazy and decieving the doctors and more recently i’ve been told that my doctor is making money off me by just telling me i’m bipolar and have a slep disorder.my sleep diopsredr can’t be seen by rhe public of course.apart from the sleep disorder i appear to be a normal intelligent and educated human being.so i get alot of people murmuring behind my back that “there’s nothing wrong with that motherf***er!!! he just needs to get off his laxy a## and geta job/. i take trazodone(400mg) nightly to sleep..it doesn’t cause sleep it generates a deeper sleep ,once i’ve fallen asleep.i’m taking the most the strongest thata doctor will prescribe to a patient.they’d prefer a person take less than 400 but i take the full 400mg and i STLL wake up if i have anything planned the next day or if there’s ANY kind of obligation in my life at the time(as obligation does create stress. the most absurd statement i ever heard from someone is that my sleep disorder is psychological BS.ummm..hey RAMROD!!,it’s medical..not psychological!!
it’ll never change, stupid unintelligent morons will always retain the notion that if somebody has two arms and legs,they can do SOMEthing!!!

I suffer from depression and have applied for disability and live in the UK. I have not worked since July 2008 following an accident and have extensive knee and hip surgery and am now unable to play semi professional tennis. My employers are the NHS and they have done nothing to help me get back to work. I am employed as a Ward Clerk and my consultant etc have asked my employers to give me a desk job so that I am not on my feet all day. My employers have done nothing and this is making me more depressed.

…Unlike a lot of people here, I haven’t had to leave work due to depression – I haven’t even been able to get any in the first place. I’m 23, live in Australia, and have been on antidepressants since the year 2000, after two years of trying to cope by myself at high school. My mother passed away in 97 due to breast cancer. I got through high school by splitting year 12 into two years – luckily I am/was bright enough to be able to cope with the work, just not all at once. I finished high school and did art part time at uni – missing a lot of classes due to simply not be able to go anywhere. I was living with my father (who has clinical depression) and we were all we had left for each other. I promised myself after mum died that I’d never kill myself, for dad’s sake and his only, because I didn’t want him to have to go through the grief again.

After uni finished in 2007, I did a post-grad 3D animation course. That finished in June 2008. Since then I have been on Newstart Allowance (approx AUS$440 a fortnight). Since I had been treated for depression for so long through school, I was referred to vocational rehab instead of centrelink’s normal jobsearch – but I was still meant to be looking for 30 hours of work a week. At the same time as being in uni, my father found a girlfriend who moved in with us around 2005. Suddenly the person who meant everything to me had someone else to be there, someone closer to him and to help fill the hole in his heart. I was happy for him, but I felt so alone. I still do. I moved out of home last November because the girlfriend just didn’t understand depression and was making it worse by treating me like a lazy child. I tried two weeks of secretary work a friend got me into just before moving and was coming home every night, crying hysterically and falling asleep until the next morning, when I would wake up dreading everything all over again. I was lucky dad was there to cook for me. Now I’m out sharing with two friends who are having a hard time coping with the extent of my depression because it’s gotten so much worse. My vocational rehab consultant got me a four-hour a day work placement in web design, and I was going home at one pm in exactly the same state as with the secretary job, only this time dad wasn’t there to look after me. That was a month and a half ago now, and the consultant doesn’t know what to do with me, I’ve had to find a new doctor who changed my meds six weeks ago, and I’m no longer in the right area to talk to my old psychologist. I can’t get up in the morning, I’m waking up 7-12 times a night, it’s a struggle to clean myself, to feed myself… my housemates both work 6-7 days a week and come home exhausted, so if there’s cleaning that needs to be done it’s generally left to me to do it… and I hate walking into a kitchen that’s been left as a mess and knowing that I’m the one who has to deal with it, when all I want to do is go back to bed and sleep, where there’s no more pain. Every night I fall asleep wishing that I won’t wake up the next morning. I don’t know what to do anymore, because my old Psychiatrist told me moving out would help my depression, and all it’s done is made things worse. So much worse that I’m having trouble even just existing day to day. If it wasn’t for that promise to dad, I would have tried to kill myself several times. Instead I lie in bed, keep myself perfectly still, and repeat the promise over and over to myself. I cry on and off all day, and even when I’m not crying I can feel the tears behind my eyes. I have friends who have had depression who try to help me, but they mostly just say I need to force myself to do things, and deal with problems, rather than hide myself away. What can I say back, other than I already force myself to get up in the morning? I can’t go out yet I’m so lonely. I panic in public, or if I’m going for the bus. I feel like I’ll never be able to get a job, or live by myself, or see another normal day for the rest of my life… and never have the money to do more than just exist. And Centrelink still wants me to look for at least 30 hours of work a week.

I have struggled with depression/anxiety almost as long as I can remember. Things have been very difficult. They have tried several meds and nothing seems to work. I have had a hard time keeping a job. It seems like people just don’t like me. I am so tired. I have to force myself every minute of every day. I can’t afford to be out of work. Any advice??

So, does anyone have any advise for family members of someone with depression?

If they can’t work are we supposed to support them indefinitely?

Should we just let them sit and rot in our basements?

I had a Mother with severe bi-polar disorder and it was hell growing up. Now my 30year old son wants to come and live with me because his wife got tired of taking care of him…
I invited him and his wife to live with me before, when they were getting ready to have a child.
As soon as he agreed to move in he quit his job. He said that he couldn’t handle the stress. After 18 months of horror I finaly had to ask them to leave… Now his wife has left him left and he wants to come back to my house. He refuses to even think about looking for a job. I can understand that it is hard to hold (much less find) a job when you are in this condition. But he also refuses to get any treatment… When he lived with me before my mental health suffered. I went into therapy and have been working very hard to get my life together… I’m afraid that if he comes back with no job & no treatment & no plan, my life will enter back into chaos.
He says that I am selfish and don’t love him enough. He blames me for all of his problems.
It’s true that I was not the best parent when he was growing up, So do I owe it to him to take care of him for the rest of our lives???

I have been suffering with severe depression for 18months now and although i am in a much better place of late, I still have some way to go on my journey to recovery. Noone really understands how i have been feeling, and I don’t think they really want to try to, though i think sometimes its through ignorance or fear of still not really understanding how it can affect a person, especially as although many sufferers experience similar feelings, ultimately all sufferers are individual. i work within the nhs as a registered practitioner and for me it has a nightmare, i work for an organisatioin that provides care, but doesn’t really seem to care….how can that be? i am trying to get on with things, but my condition will not let me at the speed i know my employer (line manager) would like. According to Occupational Health I now am likely to fall into under the DDA and work should be making allowances for me. I had being bullied at work by G Grade (band 7) sister for 2 years! I put up with it to avoid further conflict! When i had a fall whilst trying to sort the problem it couldnt have been more welcome…anything to get me away from her! Even the horrendous pain was worth it, although that too brought my mood down. SHe is ex military, bossy with an attitude that i was beneath her and i really do not think she realises how she affects me and also other staff at times. my work life suffers and when she is on duty my anxiety levels are up to a point where i am unable to function…so i end up off work sick again! at the moment its has got to the point where my union is involved with OH HR and senior management….as they want me to work with her again….but they want me to meet through mediation with her first to resolve any problems…i feel sick to core and although everyone seems to listen…they are not hearing me. i am petrified, i do not want to meet with her, i want to avoid her as much as possible…no one will listen and i am feeling like i will have no choice but to leave…how can this be allowed? Why wont anyone hear and help? Sometimes I want to close the door and never leave the house, all because i do not want to go to work…I do not want to be put down, shouted at, given dirty looks, ignored and or treated differantly….i honeslty do not understand people sometimes…or employers…more than that i do not understand me anymore? i will give in soon…i will have no choice…then all the suffering will have been for nothing and like most cyclical events … i will be back in the same place…working in hell …or as its known to the many..the nhs..unless i find the strength to get out before they kill me!

Hi Iam 28 And receive Disability Benifits as i suffer with, Manic depression, Borderline Personality Disorder and schizophrenea. And I self Harm. And back whe I was working It was so hard because of my Mental Ill Health I was Able to do my job proprely I was constantly Making Mistakes and doing things that would not only place me in Danger But would also Place my Fellow Employes in Danger as well. Bu since Being on the sick And since I have started to recive disability Payments People will lokk at me and say things like “how can you be classed as being Disaled you look perfectly Normal” or they would say to me “why are you Living of the state there is noting wrong with you your just to lazy To go and get A job”.

i have suffered with depression since age 11 i am now 25 and it has only grew worse i had been medicated but when i graduated from school i lost all my medicaid benefits i am now seeking help with thi but to no avail i am choosing to give up so nobody can say i didin’t seek help but i did so i am throwwing the towel in

i suffer from depression as well as ptsd and it sucks. i have been suffering through out my life from this and the many trauma’s i have had through out my life. i am on antidepreesants but i have moments where i lose consentaion and things seem so hopeless. right now i am unemployed and home less and its a hard time in my life right now. i am trying not to gte so oveewelmed and i have been living in my car. i have a 12 yr old son and hes with his father right now because its rough and he worries about me and its just better i do not subject him to this situation but he worries.. depression and trauma is an ongoing battle 4 me. i understand ppl that have it . its hard just dealing with a throid condition as well..

I would say that my depresion comes totally from the pressure and additional work load I kept on receiving from my Manager. It went to a point where I was working 10 to 12 hours daily and I could never make the dates. The worst part of this is that when you bring these things to HR they say that they will help and the next thing you know you are fired.

I am 44 year old female. My chronic depression and bipolar depression ruined my 17 year marriage and my life. My husband can’t tolerate my daily misery anymore and left me. I have been taking all kinds of pills for years but it doesn’t seem to get any better. I stopped working 2 years ago because I just couldn’t concentrate and do my job any longer. I applied for disability in february ‘09, denied once, now appealing with lawyers help. The hardest part about my situation is trying to explain to my 9 year son why I am so sad all the time. My husbands family turned against me because they think I am nuts. I have nobody to talk to at all. I have no friends and no family to get any kind of emotional support from. My loneliness, because of my illness is so severe it’s becoming unbearable. The only reason I am still alive is because of my son.

The disability docter’s said I was just depressed they are so right. But i tryed to tell them it is dew to pain in body and being sick all the time. They say I am not disabiled dew to being depressed i would have to say they are wrong. When you can not work dew to not getting sleep and thinking you might just file off the handle at some one dew to being fatigued dew to anxiety, & depression. I guess they have never had it to understand it. So most of all how can they say it is not a disability?

How can someone who is sick free comment about a pain in which he has never felt? Im 26 years old. Have been working since I was 14 years old and recently got laid off by my employer at a local hospital. I am on my last months of Unemployment benefits and don’t know which direction to go in. I have been suffering with depression ill say my whole life but out of the norm since I was 19-20. It got so bad that even simple routines as to going to the bank is stressed about a day in advance. Im always on edge and sometimes have panic attics when it seems to many people are watching my every moves. Its weird cause I have always been a popular person; have plenty of friends and at least in my eyes get along with everyone. But recently even hanging with them is somewhat a job in itself cause ill either have to have liquor in my system. Or dark outside. I will continue to hurt just to make my families life better and I do seem less of a man even looking up SSI benefits. But I’m just not sure what to do. Most jobs cant hold cause deal with too many people, jobs I would enjoy wont work cause they require schooling and there is no way I can stay in a class with my condition at this time, I don’t wanna drown myself in medication cause I seen the affects it had on other loved ones. I just at the point of hopelessness right now and dont know what to do.

i just wanna say thanks to you all who have left comments. I thought i was the only one who cant seem to keep a job. I have felt very much useless or like a bum because i cant seem to keep a job for more than 3 or 4 months. My most recent job i have had for 2 yrs but i miss work often due to exhaustion or like today i had a panic attack this morning and had to call in because i just could not make myself go. The funny thing is i don’t even know what i was afraid of. Ive had depression since was about 10 and have had some treatments but haven’t been able to stick with them. I’m only 23 yrs and don’t really know what to do as i’m at a low point right now and have been for the last few days. I just got moved around at work and am having to learn a new position and i’m not having a good reaction to it tho i constantly try to talk myself down from being stressed about it Its hard to make yourself get help when it doesn’t seem like neone really cares or you don’t care about yourself much. I’m not really sure what to do, hopefully ill feel better soon but i just wanted to say that reading what u guys wrote about work really makes me feel a lot better like i’m really not so alone so Thank You.

I currently suffer from depression. I had always just tried to ignore it. Last summer though I reached a breaking point and I attempted suicide. I checked myself into the emergency room of a local hospital and was completely honest about everything all of my feelings and emotions. It was hard to do but I did it. It was embarrassing since I’m such an introverted person but I did it. I stayed for 2 days was prescribed an anti-depressant called lexapro (which is great, no negative side effects) and they scheduled me for visits with a therapist. It was an incredibly wonderful decision to seek help. I see my therapist once a week and I am doing much better the panic attacks are fading away and I am myself again I’m a much better employee at work and a better student at school. My one piece of crucial advice to anyone suffering from this horrible disease is to seek help. Go to the emergency room of a nearby hospital if you need to like I did or schedule appoitments with a counseling center. Do what ever you have to do to get help because believe me it will not go away. It will be with you until you face it and work towards fixing the problem. Get help from a professional that has dedicated they’re life to helping people like us. I wish you the best!

I am dealing with a coworker who has been out for weeks because of so called depression, we were short handed before she left but now its even worse, we are covering her shifts and everyone is wiped out and burned out from all the extra hours we have to put in. She still goes shopping and in on facebook daily. We are all angry we cant even breath right now but she gets to take the holidays off . She is 40 and her parents just baby her and cover her bills while she is not working, oh and by the way she is a major drinker, thats why this upsets us, she is getting disability, and we work our butts off while she sleeps all day and does nothing. I wish they would hire someone for her position and let her go so we could all just get a break and go back to normal. I know depression is real, but come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I worked for a chiropractor for 23 years, I had my first bout with depression in the 80’s. and have never been the same. I started work for him when I was in my 20’s the latter part of the 80’s, after a while I told him what was wrong with me, but he was so kind he would help me work through it plus I could run the entire office, but in April of 2007 I walked out, my depression worsen. I did’t care about anything I was anger at him and everyone around me

Until I saw a recent case in the news, I didn’t even know you could get disability for depression. I decided to look into it and the whole issue sickens me. I see so many people whining and getting sympathy that they don’t deserve. I’ll justify that comment with my own disposition.

Over the last decade, I have lost all care for anything. I have a hard time feeling at all. I see death and it usually brings no response or sometimes actually light humor to my mind. What other people see as tragic, I find trivial or amusing. I go to work each day because I know that is where food comes from. I am no more than a primitively driven beast. Still, I’m tempted to leave everyday. There are so many rude people when dealing with the public, which is fine when I’m in a completely emotionless mood; however, there are times where I am at the verge of lashing out against them. It isn’t even safe for me to be in the workplace.

I come home and sleep for maybe 2 hours. I have a lot of education, but my job (the only stable one that I could get) doesn’t really require much thought. I function normally there with no sleep and no emotions. I imagine myself like a machine that simply exists for action and needs no other purpose.

I have given up on all goals in my life as they slowly drift out of reach. My final goal was to have a child. Now, after a long wait, it is on the way. I am making no progress. It feels hopeless that I can actually provide a good life for a child. Even that I don’t care about. I’m content that it will come with or without me. I imagine that I might leave because the state will provide better without me or that I might take out insurance and find a good way to die. It isn’t because I don’t want responsibility or anything else absurd… I just feel hopeless and worthless to do any better through my own direct effort.

In all of this, I have never missed a day of work. I haven’t had a sick day in 8 years. I don’t share my problems with anyone other than you internet strangers. People who are really depressed don’t share their problems because they realize that is hopeless too and no one will really understand. That is why everyone that is sharing them and benefiting is full of crap. I often find comport anymore in pain and misery. I go out with shorts and a t-shirt in the middle of winter. I feel the pain and then numbness and suddenly things make sense again. I need that state of chaos and pain for the world to make any sense because I cannot feel or bond with anything else now.

Do not believe these other people who pretend to be depressed. When you are deep enough into it, there is no way out. It makes no sense not to work. It is all the same. There is no desire left to stay or go. These people clearly have motives and things they enjoy that drive them. That isn’t part of depression.