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Nancy Schimelpfening

Can SSRIs Make You Fall Out of Love?

By April 17, 2009

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Have you ever felt like your antidepressant has killed more than just your ability to orgasm? Like it's killed all your feelings of love for your partner as well? Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University, believes that SSRIs may block your ability to feel love.

SSRIs work by raising your levels of serotonin, but they also lower levels of dopamine. Dopamine is the neurotransmitter responsible for all those feel-good emotions you get when you fall in love. When dopamine levels drop and those feelings disappear you may mistakenly believe that your love has also disappeared.

If you are curious to learn more about this effect, Psychology Today has an excellent article about this topic entitled Sex, Love and SSRIs on its Web site.

If you've ever experienced this phenomenon yourself, please join the discussion by adding your comments below.

Comments
April 18, 2007 at 9:40 am
(1) Brian says:

I’ve found this problem but the results aren’t just with affection & orgasm. My wife constantly complains when I’m on higher doses that I show no emotions at all. Not sad or depressed, but never happy either. SO if she does something special for me, I have had to learn to comment on it because otherwise she doesn’t get any positive feedback.

While words count a lot, a smile or happy face is often a major glue in relationships & to never see that is a real problem.

I’ve been on medication so long that I’ve learnt to work with doctors to try to find a good mix of effectiveness, side effects & quality of life but it isn’t always very easy to manage especially if you find that very few medications work with you & side effects are especially bad. It can be a very slow process & some doctors simply do not believe that side effects can be so much of a problem. I’ve even had doctors say that a medication can’t cause a particular side effect but we later found it listed in the MIMS.

At a conference that I attended of veterans & their partners, the medical experts were amazed at how low a dose of medications caused side effects, how quickly they occurred & that they lasted far longer than the literaure said was even possible. They got the vets & the partners to answer the questions separately & got the same answers.

Regards,
Brian.

April 20, 2007 at 1:45 pm
(2) Kris says:

wow, this explains a lot. I’ve been on SSRIs for about 4 years now, & Zoloft for 2 ofthose. It helps SO much with my PMDD, and has been a big help with my major depression…but I have a hard time feeling that “tender warm feeling” that used to be typical towards my husband. I know there are things we need to work on — mainly making efforts to communicate gently rather than “here-are-the-facts,-deal-with-it” approach. But this news explains a lot, too. Now that my life circumstances have changed, maybe I can reduce the meds. I’ll talk to my therapist & psychiatrist &see what we can safely try.

April 21, 2007 at 9:04 pm
(3) sally says:

Yes, this article puts into words, what I have wondered as a side effects of antidep. I am currrently on Zoloft, which I changed to, from effexor.
Right away I noticed my libido decrease. (perhaps effexor does not decrease dopamine as much as zoloft)

I have also wondered if the antidepressants curtail my feelings of wanting to be with other people. I isolate alot more than I used to before I was on antidepressants. I do not seem to feel joy or desire to be with people. or a desire.
If this is true I feel very sad about being on the meds. My life has become very small.

April 22, 2007 at 12:33 pm
(4) Michael says:

Wow, this is disturbing news. It adds insight to many things that have occurred in my life. If a spousal relationship can be affected how about the feelings of love for a parent, a child, or any other family member of the person who is taking antidepressants? I have been feeling this emotional emptiness in my own life while taking antidepressants and thought it was the depression. Could it be the reason why I ultimately lost my 30 year marriage?

April 23, 2007 at 9:57 am
(5) maria says:

i dont know about that sideeffect of anti- depresent but what should i do when ifell so much depression i am a 21 yrs old girl and doing masters in sociology if i idid nt take anti depressent i cant do my work properly do u think in this era now depression spread really fast especially in youngsters what they do is any subsitute of anti depressent

May 2, 2007 at 9:16 am
(6) Brandi34 says:

I totally agree with this article and Brian I can understand exactly how you and your wife feel. I’ve lived w/ my boyfriend for about 2 years now, and it is no doubt extremely difficult to deal with. And your’re right…just a smile from him means the world to me. We’ve totally contemplated just ridding completley of the anti-depressant and then on the other hand don’t think he’d be okay without. It is without a doubt very frustrating, especially when we visit the psychiatrist and it appears that he truly doesn’t believe the side effects or just doesn’t give us any input; you wonder if he’s even paying attention or cares. My BF is on effexor lowest dose after being on a high does and trying to wean off but it was way to difficult..but he has no sexual desire at all and it took a long time for him to tell me. I’m sure it’s very uncomfortable for a man to admit he has no thoughts or sexual feelings whatsoever. He is able to perform and we are sexually active but I almost feel like “or know” that he does it for me. He lacks enthusiasm in just about everything and I on the other hand have always been a happy person, but I can tell this has taking a toll on me. Sometimes, I feel like I need a psychiatrist myslef. LOL :0) When I feel down or need someone to talk to or am just having a bad day…it’s not exactly easy going to him and talking to him. He is unable to deal w/ his problems let alone deal w/ me if I’m having a bad day. I wish there was something we could do. I love him and he has truly made some positive changes for us. I give him so much credit, but would like us to lead a more happy productive life. I wish we could truly get some help.

August 22, 2007 at 12:29 pm
(7) selector says:

wow. My depression first got noticed in this way. My shrink is pretty positive now that it was caused by various bombardments of chemicals (creatine, bodybuilding supplements, alcohol), but i first noticed it after sex with my partner. Horrible coldness, no sense of love. The next time we did it i felt terribly anxious and lost my erection in mid-shag.

So, 14 months down the line….I’ve been on cymbalta (large, 60mg dose) for 8 months but off it now for 2. I still wanted sex, but never felt horny, and i could go for hours without coming on that stuff. Hated it. I felt it numbed me to an extent mood wise, but The low, low moods virtually disappeared, and a lot of my drive for life reappeared. After coming off the meds i’m depressed again, but not as bad as when i went on them. Depression is evil and horrible and possibly the most destructive disease mankind faces. I long for the days when i was carefree and happy. I know they will come again soon, but when?? If you wanna get life back on track take the drugs. But they will probably become a short term solution to what is potentially a long term problem. either way good luck, and try and establish a relationship with god at this difficult time, i find it is one of the only things that genuinely helps.

peace

September 15, 2007 at 4:48 pm
(8) Holly Schmidt says:

I’m writing an article for Tango magazine about Helen Fisher’s theory that ssri’s can blunt emotions. I would like to interview people who have experienced this, specifically women in their 20s and 30s. Can you please email me at j-hschmidt@adelphia.net ASAP if you’re interested in sharing your story? I can change your name for the article.

March 8, 2008 at 4:25 am
(9) lauren says:

I have only been taking citalopram since monday its now saturday i seemed to have forgotten all my feelings for my boyfriend. We were so happy together and i felt tearful and unhappy with other things before i felt no feelings for him has anyone got any answers??

April 15, 2008 at 5:37 am
(10) anonymous says:

Yes I had this too and only after being off for a few years I realised the full picture! I went on them when I was about 6 months into a relationship and IN LOVE. A month or so into taking them my depression lifted but the in-love feeling seemed to just vanis! Along with all my other emotions actually. I felt like a cold heartless person and I didn’t know why! All my emotions felt watered down. It was very strange. Even after going off the pills it took a fair amount of time to find the warm loving emotions I had started with my boyfriend at the time (now husband :D ). I searched for info on lack of emotions whilst on Effexor 75mg so I didn’t feel so crazy and alone. It didn’t say anything about being emotionless in the Effexor guide!! Hopefully my response helps others too.

April 15, 2008 at 5:39 am
(11) anonymous says:

I also lost my sexual drive…completely! And for a 19yo girl in a new relationship that is very strange

April 30, 2008 at 10:13 am
(12) tulip505 says:

Yes, sad to say, while trying to treat my severe depression and panic attacks..I have lost all feeling, it is seldom that I ever feel real feelings of love or feel touched by things that should matter…….a death, accidents etc…….seems like it is a no win situation………….but you have to do something when your emotions take over your life……but now I almost feel like I traded to much emotions to no emotions…………………sad.

April 30, 2008 at 10:35 am
(13) Chucky says:

I see myself in each of your stories. It is so true. I remember saying to a potential girlfriend, “I wanna love you”. I knew something was holding me back, & it wasn’t just agoraphobia. Anyway, I was much more determined & motivated not on drugs. I use to make myself, or rather WANT to go out, & did do exposure training; now I only do the garbage. I am on low-dose Prozac 1 mg daily. My normal dose was 5-10 mg. Anxiety feelings are more or less the same as when I was on 5 mg, but I feel more “natural”. I’ve a long way to go still. God is always by my side. God bless you all.

April 30, 2008 at 10:37 am
(14) Chucky says:

I forgot to mention a book I bought about this very subject. You may find it helpful. Artificial Happiness: The Dark Side of the New Happy Class by Ronald Dworkin, M.D.

April 30, 2008 at 12:17 pm
(15) perkysmom says:

You’d think in this day and age scientists could come up with an antidepressant that gets rid of depression, and not your emotions. I’m on Cymbalta and Wellbutrin; they get rid of the lows but I feel detached most of the time. It’s a dilemma that depressed people face – take the pills, get rid of the depression, but you risk wrecking relationships because you feel so uninvolved with people.

April 30, 2008 at 3:32 pm
(16) NL says:

I’ve been on SSRI’s for 19 years, and off them for about 11 weeks now. I struggled with low libido, thinking it was just me. My past boyfriends/husband would question my love for them since I had no sexual desire. I didn’t feel passion for them either, but inside I knew I loved them and loved being with them. It really damages relationships. Likewise, I feel like I have missed out on the true parent love for my daughter. Inside I know I truly love her, but I feel like I’m just not expressing how proud of her I am and just how much she means to me. I’m really hoping to get my passion back so I can feel and express the love the I intellectually know is there.

April 30, 2008 at 4:38 pm
(17) RLH says:

what does SSRI stand for?

April 30, 2008 at 8:58 pm
(18) Nancy Schimelpfening - Depression Guide at About says:

SSRI stands for selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. This class of antidepressant includes Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro and Paxil.

May 3, 2008 at 11:16 am
(19) Linda says:

I can relate to SSRI’s(paxil, zoloft …) dimishing and numbing physical feelings in lovemaking, and how it by the same token flattens my general affect and emotions. It certainly helped for 18 months to take the edge off the deeper painful depressions that made my fun loving husband unable to take it anymore. I would have found another way without drugs as I had all my 43 years of life (not a single drug except cigs and moderate alcohol), especially god saved me, but my husband got the upper hand. Anyway, after 18 months of taking paxil I couldn’t stand the one sidedness of paxil and started spontaneously dreaming that I wanted to smoke cigarettes again and then I eventually got the courage to ask my family doctor about buying nicotine gum over the counter. Then realizing I needed more spunk and desire,(by the way I also gained 20 pounds of weight on Paxil and i tookalot of naps)-(and I probably have “Atypical depression” although I have been diagnosed with other labels like adjustment disorder, dysthymia, bipolar, unipolar, and ADHD. It’s crazy these drug days. It’s as though it doesn’t matter about the diagnosis. You just try to find the right drug cocktail to get how you want to feel.
So anyway, I then got on wellbutrin which I LOVED. I got my sex drive back, and was attracted to men again, and more interested in my husband.It enabled me to really work on some of our marital blocks, cognitively. Then 4 years later, I was diagnosed with ADHD because one of my high school aged children swore she had it.(she rarely worked in school) Then by accident, almost our whole family got diagnosed- 5 out of 6 of us. So the stimulant prescribed for me (adderall and concerta), substitued for the wellbutrin. For 2 years the stimulants were FANTASTIC and I still took zoloft(just like paxil) before bed to sleep and trazadone too which has a side effect of getting sleepy, then I slowly became depressed again in about 18 months to two years, to the point of being incapable of imagining any possibility of recovering. So my husband decided I was bipolar, and sent me off to the psychiatrist, and lo and behold, I am bipolar too!!!!! so anyway, yes SSRI’s numb me, and yes I need dopamine, and yes, it lowers my self esteem to be dependent on drugs. I think I am drug addict most of the time, and my goal is to be drug free in about 5-10 years. I will definely need healing or therapy to develop the ability support myself.

June 7, 2008 at 7:15 pm
(20) Lilly says:

My boyfriend started on 50mg of Zoloft to treat anxiety. He thought he was dying and after the doctor did ever physical test, that it was only his mind that had a problem. At first, 50 mg seemed like a miracle. He was relaxed, not a shopaholic and was drinking a lot less. When the upped his dosage to 100mg as a natural progression – everything went disasterously wrong. My sensitive caring emotional partner -became cold, unfeeling and ruined our relationship. It was dramatic. But he is proud of his new found independance. He didn’t care anymore when anyone thought. He got a hair transplant, went on trips with his single screwed up buddies. Started partying and drinking very heavily, and then the final kicker – he announced he was accepting a job in Bermuda, without even consulting me. He has been in my life for 17 years, and we’ve had a home together for 5. I know him better than he knows himself normally – and this is NOT him. After turning my life upside down in the last 6 months, I was still willing to move to Bermuda with him. Then I got the call to tell me he stills loves me, but has no feelings for me anymore. It makes no sense. He’s left us all. His son, all our families, our kitties, his house. He rents a suite and drives a scooter, and has never looked back. I’m devastated, as is the rest of them family. He did say he felt a bit ‘off’ and would ask the doctor to reduce his meds to 50mg. But that’s only been for a week now. I don’t know what to do…

June 10, 2008 at 8:29 pm
(21) Alex says:

I watched my boyfriend change from a loving caring guy doing his absolute best to keep us together into a careless angry cold hearted animal. these meds sent him crazy. they took away the guy i fell in love with and replaced it with a confused angry person. and the worst part is he doesnt even see what its done to him.

June 12, 2008 at 7:29 pm
(22) Lisa says:

I recently started taking Zoloft again after trying other antidepressants. I went back to Zoloft because none of them brought me out of the hell of depression. My relationship with my BF has been rough because of the depression, but he is always there for me. He is very supportive and said he would always be there for me. The problem is that I have no sexual drive whatsoever, and I even have been coming up with reasons not to spend time with him. On one hand if he fell off the earth I probably wouldn’t notice for a while. On the other hand I would miss him greatly. I don’t even know if I love him anymore. How do you know if or even how to continue a relationship when you are depressed and on SSRI’s? It’s so frustrating not knowing what to do. I don’t want to lose one of the best people to have come along in my life. But the feelings just aren’t there like they were. Depression really sucks.

June 24, 2008 at 6:54 am
(23) Damian says:

This is without a doubt true for me. I actually feel the affect of “losing” my love for my GF after only 1 day of taking Zoloft.
I’ve been off and on it many times and the effect is always the same. Almost immediately from the time I start Zoloft, I stop feeling love for my GF.

It’s some sort of cosmic joke, that SSRI’s help so many in so many ways but take away love and sex. Really one of the biggest catch-22′s of all time.

July 11, 2008 at 6:16 pm
(24) marlies says:

I can relate to almost every one of these posts. I’ve been with the same guy for almost two years and have always felt warm and caring and loving towards him, until a few months ago. About two months ago I started feeling guilt and anxiety that I couldnt shake. It was somewhat of an extreme of the depression I’d been feeling for a couple years before hand. Out of nowhere one day, I had a thought along the lines of “Do I not feel love for him anymore?” I lost an interest in everything, lost weight and didnt want to do anything but sleep. I eventually went to my doctor and was perscribed 10 mg. of cipralex, but the councellor I see brought the dose up to 15 mg. I’m a small person (98 pounds) but she said she thought it was the right dose. I’ve been on it for about 3 to 4 weeks now but I’m not sure if I should stay on it. Things don’t bother me half as much, and theres a feeling of just not caring. Someone could tell me that I had cancer or something and I feel like i wouldnt even care that much. I no longer feel like I don’t love my boyfriend anymore, I just have no libido and have extreme difficulty feeling the love and affection that came so naturally and freely before. I dont feel like the same person at all and just want to feel how I used to. Does anyone know if a lower dose or a different medication might help this?
Thank you so much, I appreciate it.

July 19, 2008 at 5:48 am
(25) Rachel says:

I have been on citalopram for nearly 6 years, and it has been fantastic in restoring my functioning from severely depressed with cognitive impairment, to normal. However, I have recently decided to try going off it for precisely this problem with ‘loss of romantic feeling’. It has not blunted my emotions in general, and I feel quite happy, but while I like the idea of dating (4 years since divorce) I have no feelings of attraction to men at all. I was very interested to read about Helen Fisher’s research, which I came across by chance.

July 21, 2008 at 10:56 am
(26) Mark says:

My wife of ten years started taking Celexa in September 2007. We had issues, but never did she think about leaving me. She left in February 2008, and she said she didn’t “feel the same way about me anymore”. I too found articles regarding this issue. Luckily, my wife and i have been in counseling this entire time. She seems to be open to listening and reading material regarding this issue, but seems as if she is just doing it to show that she did something to help our situation. She has been off Celexa for 6 weeks now, and she still seems cold and indifferent. Does anyone know how long it takes to regain your emotional feelings after getting off of the drugs?

July 24, 2008 at 3:46 pm
(27) Aneta says:

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and I have always loved him very much,felt warm,caring about him,I wanted to marry him..But unfortunatelly in december’07 I started feeling very nervous,I shaked I had many negative thoughts(I was afraid that something bad could happened to my BF or to my family).The same situation like in case of Marlies;it was somewhat of an extreme of the depression I’d been feeling for a couple years before hand.Two days later I thought: Do I still love my BF??I was scared??I didn’t know what it was!!I lost interest in everything,I was really depressed.My boyfriend always has been with me,being very supportive and he said he would always be there for me.
One month later I started taking Lexapro(10 mg)and then I stopped caring of my boyfriend,my family…I was happy but just with myself ,I prefered to be alone.
Three months later I was off Lexapro.I didn’t want to feel that emotional emptiness anymore!!Immediately I started feeling warm towards my boyfriend and loving him!!Unfortunatelly I got sick again and I stopped caring:((I just wanted to dissapear!!I didn’t know why it was like that!!I didn’t understood.I started taking Motival and again I had that emotional feeling,I wanted to marry my boyfriend,I said to everybody.I was so in love!!Till today there are times when I feel love,there are times that I feel so sad because I feel like I would not love my boyfriend anymore;(( I just would love to feel like I used to.Without that chaos!!
I don’t know what to do.Deep inside of me I feel that I love my boyfriend but there’s something that sometimes makes me feel like I don’t care…

July 30, 2008 at 5:25 pm
(28) marlies says:

Aneta,

Its a bit of a relief to see that someone feels basically exactly the same as I feel. By taking cipralex I had hoped that I might start getting my life back in order and had hope that if some of the depression lifted, I might start feeling those same feelings that I had before the whole episode. When the medication did kick in, I felt a loss of creativity (which sucks, because I love painting and drawing etc.) and interest in most things I previously enjoyed. I just feel as if theres no escape. Off of the medication I can’t feel love, and on it I can’t either. Im hoping that once I get myself sorted out I can stop taking it and then maybe things will change.
If anyone feels like talking, email me at xjawsxthemexswimmingx@hotmail.com , I’d be happy to have someone to relate to.

August 13, 2008 at 11:55 am
(29) Kathy says:

I met someone while they were on the anti-depressant Paxil. We dated for nearly a year. He always told me that he could not be entirely there in an emotional level and phsyical level for me as long as he was on the meds. I tried to help him, I helped him with alot of his problems trying to figure out the roots and helping him get out of a vegetable kind of lifestyle. He made me a lot of promises, getting married, having kids. He even told me many times that he loved me but that the Paxil played with his emotions and would make him confused at times. He even told me that I was the best thing that had ever happend to him and he couldnt imagine a life without me. And then one day he had a panick attack because of his fear of open spaces, and all of a sudden, in a split of a second, he dissapeared from my life. He told me that he never loved me and that all the signs were there: his lack of affection, not kissing me or hugging me or wanting me as much as he should. He told me he was definitly sure he didnt love me and this had nothing to do with the Paxil or his panic attack. He changed as a person since his panic attack, that i dont even recognize him anymore. He insists that he has not changed and his feelings have not diminished since the panic attack, yet he seems completely emotionally numb, and I have never seen that in him. He has become a cold and distant person. I feel like he has turned a wonderfull love story into a living nightmae.
I am not sure anymore anymore what to believe. Is this the cause of his medication? or has he really never loved me, and played mind games with me all this time..tricking me and my family to believe that he actually loved me. I am furious at him, at the world and stupid doctors for prescribing these medications that only cause more damage than good. Someone who is a doctor should want to love helping people and not because they are greedy and only want money from peoples pockets. These meds are addictive and mess around with peoples minds. And when this person is in a relationship, the meds dont cause only harm to that one person but to two people! I was in love with this person, and he was my first love. It will be difficult for me to get over all of this. Because in a way Paxil has not only played tricks on his mind, but mine as well. I dont know what to believe anymore. And it breaks my heart to hear him say that he never loved me from day one, and that everything we ever shared or lived was all based on lies.

August 16, 2008 at 9:36 pm
(30) anonymous says:

this explans alot for me the first 10 months of my relationship i felt emotionless i had no dedires no sexual dedires i was on ssri meds for 4 years it helped depression but it sure did block feelings and emotions i have now been off the meds for 3 months and all my feelings are coming back damn ssri drugs the side effects a cruel its a bitch for men

September 21, 2008 at 9:01 pm
(31) anonymous says:

sometimes i come by and re read all of these posts so that i dont lose sight of what matters and that maybe theres some hope.

October 3, 2008 at 3:59 am
(32) Kelly Cmolik says:

this is true because i was called with a diagnosis of major depression at school when i was studying film my doctor told me i needed more spirituality….. and medication!!! (this was five years ago) My girlfriend supported me about it from the start but after one month of prozac i didn’t wnat her around.. i didnt like feeling that way but i didnt feel the same way about her anymore…. it was te best relationship in my life but i didnt love her at all. my doctor told me it was because of the meds but i didn’t beieve him. I was taking prozack two times a day by then but he started with once a day for two weeks. i broke up with bronwen after two months of treatment since i didnt want to be with her anymore and that didnt bother me either. we were lovers since the twelve grade. my doctor told me to stop taking the drugs after seven months…. after i broke up with her i felt lighter for the next four months and the last three weeks were steady withdrawl. the good that came out of it was i was no longer feeling faint because of prozac (yay!) and in less than a week i missed Bronnie again… its the worst thing i ever did.. :(

October 3, 2008 at 4:08 am
(33) Kerry Cmolik says:

thats true. i had the same problem with my five years girlfriend bron. we were dating since twelve grade but at film school i got diagnosed as depression and doctor put me on prozac….dont wanna talk abt it really but after 1 month i didnt love bron at all.. i didnt feel the same way… i broke up with her after three months on meds after five years together. now i’m not taking them anymore and im miserable about bron…. she wont return my calls and I miss her and love her so much all i do is cry at night

its the biggest mistake of my life

October 4, 2008 at 5:59 pm
(34) Johnnie Zhivago says:

I’ve tried a lot of different antidepressants = Zoloft, Prozac, Serzone, Effexor – all had the same numbing of emotions effect, and made it difficult to orgasm. The one which actually made me feel normal was Wellbutrin. Almost no side effects, and I still have a full range of emotions. No orgasm problems, either.

October 30, 2008 at 6:46 pm
(35) drew says:

Please be someone out there who can relate to me……

November 18, 2008 at 9:38 pm
(36) Aeroman says:

I just went through reading a lot of the posts here. All i say is wow. People…I love my wife, I know it intellectually but I cant feel it. My story is both w/ and w/o SSRI’s. My wife and I dated and it was sparks, fireworks in the air in 2002. I proposed to her at the end of 2002 and 6 months later, I experienced my first panic attack (I didnt know it at the time it was that). Then, after a few attacks here and there, I got my first episode of depression – no motivation, no energy, no zest for life, sleep was messed up, lost a lot of weight, you name it. I was confused, what was going on with me? Then, all of a sudden, I got the thoughts/feelings all of you have described here – Do I love my fiance anymore? WHAT!!!! I told myself. How can this be? Where did the thoughts and feelings come from? I just wasn’t me anymore…went to the doc, placed me on Prozac and it lifted me to a happy dude but those cool feelings of love and warmth were snuffed out (aka blunted emotions?). I got off the drugs due to libido and weight issues and the “I dont love my wife” thoughts and feelings have returned after 3.5 years of meds. I truly believe anxiety AND more like DEPRESSION have been the cause of this. The drugs didnt cure anything – just numbed me. So, if I would have known, I should have just ridden the depression out in 2003 and have it eventually lift. I am positive my “in-love” feelings would have returned on their own. Feel free to contact me,

djjc76@hotmail.com if you can relate!

November 25, 2008 at 4:44 pm
(37) shannon says:

God, this makes me feel so much better. I started having anxiety and depression in my senior year of high school–I didn’t really recognize it, because it only affected my relationship. I had been dating my then-bf for about 4 months..we had also just started having sex. He was basically my first. But after only four months I suddenly started feeling depressed and scared…in any case, we broke up because I couldn’t take it. But I was miserable without him and I begged to get him back.

Cut to Junior year of college, around Feb-March. I’d been dating my wonderful boyfriend Dan for a year, and things were great. Then the depression and anxiety started–I lost my desire to do anything, I stopped caring about school, seeing my friends, and having panic attacks about graduating, about entering the real world, and about possibly committing to my bf permanently. I didn’t understand why I was so scared and sad. I cried every single day. I was miserable about school, but that I could almost deal with. It was my relationship that killed me. I knew how much I loved him, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of sadness and unease that accompanied my thoughts of him. I still wanted to see him and be with him, but I just wasn’t happy. I started on a low-dose of Lexapro in March. In a few weeks, I stopped crying. I started feeling–what I thought was–better. But in reality, I started having feelings I never experienced before. I felt cold and indifferent to my boyfriend…i was affectionate toward him, but I didn’t feel like it was sincere. I still had no drive to do anything. I felt as if I was “content” but never truly happy. I felt trapped in this numb, joyless bubble. I only came out of my shell, odddly enough, at work. Work was upbeat and there were a lot of different people there–they were like an escape from the drudgery of my normal life. I suddenly had the urge to run from my stable relationship and have some meaningless fling with a coworker. It was bizarre. I came so far as to nearly break things off with Dan. We had a heartbreraking discussion about it one night–he asked me if I was breaking up with him, and I started to cry. The reality of what I was doing suddenly hit me, and I couldn’t do it. I wanted to be with him. We ended the conversation, and I went out and got drunk the next day. I saw him that night, and we went for a walk and talked. Soon after I took myself off the Lexapro–and for six blissful months, I was back to normal. I was so happy! The romance was back in my relationship…I even told my family when I went to visit over the summer that I had found “The One.”

But then, school started again. About a week in I started feeling depressed and anxious again. I was terrified and heartbroken–I thought everything was fine. But it all happened again. I especially was panicked because I knew I had to make decisions about graduating and careers, and possibly even living situations. I started feeling trapped and insecure about my relationship yet again. But this time, I was prepared. I thought I was stupid for taking myself off the Lexapro–it probably would have continued to help me if I stayed on. So I went and my doctor gave me Wellbutrin.
But the results were not what I expected. I didn;t experience the lack of sex drive that Lexapro caused, but I did experience the lack of motivation, the feeling of what can ponly be described as BLAH. I felt safe around my family…and i was usually content alone…but I didn’t want to do anything, not like before. Every now and then I’d get a small burst of energy, but it would subside a day or two later. And my relationship is suffering again–I feel like I’ve lost all my romantic feelings for my boyfriend. It happened so fast–it doesn’t feel right. I know I love him, but I just don’t feel THAT feeling. It’s destroying me, because I feel like sometimes the only solution is to just leave him. But I know I’d be miserable. I feel like I want to just be by myself forever…I can’t even remember what it’s like to fall in love. After reading these comments, I feel a lot better about it. Now I see it’s [possible that the Wellburtin is causing this feeling (or lack thereof.) Truth be told, I’d rather feel the way I did before than feel nothing. I don;t remember what it’s like to be in love…and it’s torturing me. I’m going to go to the doctor and talk to her–maybe it’s best I stop the wellbutrin..for now.

November 29, 2008 at 8:48 pm
(38) michael says:

there is no miracle drug..everything has a balance..but the effect of SSRI’s will lessen depression..but it may also numb out some other emotions…if you DONT have a problem with anxiety then its probably good to take a drug that enhances dopamine..like MAO inhibitors or Wellbutrin or maybe something along those lines..but i think the SSRI with the least side effects is probably Lexapro..but it all depends on the person, everyone is different

December 15, 2008 at 10:19 am
(39) Ciaran says:

Hi

Reading soo many of these comments brings home to me what I am going through right now with my girlfriend. We have been together for over 7 years and I have always been there through all her bouts of depression. We had always been very close, telling eachother we love them, everyday and would always hug and kiss. However, recently her depression got worse and she was proscribed Floxitine by her doctor, she goes to counceling also. Last week our relationship collapsed as she told me she doesnt love me anymore. I have no doubt whatsoever that the meds are having a bad effect on her. We were both incredibly in love just a few weeks ago. Now shes really cold hearted and doesnt seem to display any emotions. I of course still love her and am trying my best to cope. I hope me and her get back together again soon. I have since suggested that she come of the meds.

December 19, 2008 at 5:44 pm
(40) RalphSavage says:

I have been on zoloft and cymbalta for years. I feel that some elements of life (not just love) are blunted. I think that’s the general effect of SSRI’s–work stress disappears, parenting stress, stress over moving, stress over relationship.

I’m curious if anyone has had any of these effect with SSNRIs like Wellbutrin.

December 21, 2008 at 9:15 am
(41) Carlis S says:

My girlfriend and I have now been together for 7 years. We met in college and have been best friends since. Everything was perfect until about a year ago when she started having panic attacks. We went to a doctor and she was put on a SSRI called cybalta that seemed to help. then suddenly after 4 months she seemed like she was miles away in her head and didn’t like to talk to me as much. i thought it was just work stress(she works for a lawyer so stressy!)and that we are getting married in spring.

she seemed restless and started hanging out with work-friends and spending less time with me. i was hurt but i wanted her to blow off steam and be happy so i didn’t say anything. big mistake. we’re now calling off the wedding because she suddenly doesn’t love me and says she cant feel her emotions now. i think she might also be seeing other people now to try to feel.

its just not like her at all! she is a totally different person and i still love her but i can’t live like this. could cybalta do this to someone after 4-5 months? I miss my girlfriend like crazy but i want to be happy too and ingoring me and her sneaking around won’t make me happy. is it a lost cause? would other SSRIS make her feel again?

January 24, 2009 at 4:20 pm
(42) Jane says:

I just started dating someone 2 months ago. I totally have the feelings that one gets in a new relationship. I think of him all the time and want to be with him all the time. But even though it sounds like he likes me, I’m not seeing the same from him. He told me he is on anti-depressants. I didn’t know if he just isn’t into me or if somehow the medication was interferring. So, I’m reading your comments and this have helped with some answers. He is very communicative so I have no problem bringing it up. But, having a relationship that feels one sided will be very hard for me.

February 18, 2009 at 3:16 am
(43) Emma says:

Wow this explains so much. Can someone tell me if once you are off the medication you will get the feeling of love and libido back? I have never orgasmed in my life and now I think I know why. Thank you.

March 16, 2009 at 5:42 pm
(44) Devasted - is there hope?? says:

I am in my office crying… I was madly in love with my boyfriend – six months is not a long time but we have the same values, have fun together, and I LOVED being with him. On the Friday I sent my mom an email with people who I would want at my wedding. He has not asked me yet but I was euphoric with anticipation. God loved me – I was finally happy and was going to have my true love and husband and children. Literally out of the blue the very next day, I felt sick and was crippled with anxiety. It was like someone switched off a switch of my feelings for him and I was so sick with anxiety and severe depression that I admitted myself in the hospital (short stay). My psychiatrist put me on 60mg Celexa and am taking an anti anxiety med so I can function. Someone else said they are devastated because the very same thing happened to them. What can we do? I do not want to end my relationship either but am sick with anxiety fear guilt because those “feelings” are gone … or different. God please help us. We are so devastated…. I don’t know what else to do.

April 15, 2009 at 9:52 pm
(45) marlies says:

The last situation is exactly like mine. I don’t know what causes it.. or how to fix it. if Anyone wants to talk my email adress is dreams.incolour@hotmail.com . It would be nice to have someone to talk to…

April 20, 2009 at 9:09 pm
(46) Rose says:

I am deeply in love with a man who suffers from agoraphobia and panic attacks. Everything was going well and then suddenly he just stopped talking to me. We were planning a future together. There had been times when he would become really scared about everything and pull away for a while, but after a couple of months he would come back and it would be like nothing had ever been wrong.

I haven’t seen him or spoken to him for a year now, but I still love him and believe he loves me also. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should continue to let him know that I am here for him when he is able to deal with a relationship again or if I should just leave him alone. Our communication is completely one-sided. On the one hand I don’t want to stress him out more by continuing to tell him I love him; but on the other hand, I don’t want him to feel abandoned.

I’m wondering if there is anyone who might be able to shed light on this for me.

I’m not asking in order to decide whether or not to move on with my life and do other things. I love him and am committed to him whether or not we ever work anything out between us. I just want to do what is best for him.

My email is reverend.rose@ymail.com. If anyone wants to talk about this, I would welcome it.

Thank you.

April 22, 2009 at 6:36 am
(47) cricket says:

In my case, I’m not so sure it was the med that did it, since his behavior was an issue, too, including criticizing me for needing antidepressants, esp. after the depression was officially diagnosed. I still feel love for my kids, but this makes me wonder if I could feel more, since the condition really kicked into high gear right after my son was born 9 years ago and never left.

April 22, 2009 at 9:02 am
(48) Dawn says:

I know that the Celexa I have been on since about 1995 has caused me to lose all feelings of love and just don’t have the “sympathetic” emotions I used to have. I still feel love but if something sad happens I don’t have the emotion I should have.

April 22, 2009 at 9:14 am
(49) Stacey says:

I was on prozac 4 years ago. I knew it kinda turned me numb emotionally but I didn’t realize how bad until May 10 of that year. At that time my boyfriend of 10 years finally proposed on our anniversary. Usually I am a happy crier and considering I have been waiting for that moment for years, looking back at my reaction now, I realize how much those pills changed me. My now husband got down on one knee professing his love for me and asked me to marry him and with a stone cold face all I could say is “r u sure?”. That is not how I would have been with out those pills. Inside and I was screaming happy but nothing came out. I can’t ever get that moment back and wish it hadn’t been like that.

April 22, 2009 at 9:34 am
(50) rjames says:

well. ssri’s ruined most everything for me. i bounced from one to another. had a worthless sexual preformance, and went from mood to mood to mood swing. now i am free and clear, but still can’t prform and get sick when ever i am tired which i never did before. luckily my spouse uses much of this against me, so i am never allowed to be upset, and recently she packed up our sex life. so now i count the days til i leave. i was happier before the medication started!

April 22, 2009 at 10:52 am
(51) Nethinim says:

I have been on SRI’s for over 10 years now, they have literaly been a life saver.
It is difficult however to exactly gauge how they have affected my life. They helped me survive the painful end of my 25 year marriage, they enabled me to end a sever alchohol addiction. Then again, had I been on them earlier, perhaps I would have been spared all that pain in the first place. I doubt it, but … .
They did not cause me to love my wife less, but did allow me to deal with the loss of her love.
Between high blood pressure and anti-depresants, I have lost the ability to get and maintain an errection. Then again, after 20 years of sleeping alone and having no one in my life, it hardly matters, or so I tell myself.
It is not so much that I can not love again, it is that I do not allow my self to do so.

April 22, 2009 at 12:07 pm
(52) Brenda says:

These comments are two years old. I would like updated information, as I have nearly tossed everyone out of my life. I have no enthusiasm whatsoever. I am on 120 mg Cymbalta and am truly a “flatliner.”

April 22, 2009 at 1:45 pm
(53) Amy says:

I found with SSRIs (took for 8 years) I was emotionless. Dropped them and started methadone, which Ive been on for 5 years now. Seems I was endorphin deficient and methadone is the answer for me. I live a happy life, not cutting, not thinking of suicide, and have acquired a degree in web design and programming. Some are critical of my decision but hey so what if Im addicted; Im alive, happy, and was able to come out of my dark hole and live.

April 22, 2009 at 1:48 pm
(54) Amy says:

Brenda, if you’d like to talk sometime, I am here for you. Comment back and we will get in touch somehow.

April 22, 2009 at 2:41 pm
(55) junade says:

Yes, I only love myself, I am 33 years old with GAD, been on anti depressants for years now, I have no feelings, like to be by myself, I donot want a wife or kids because I have no emotion or need for this.

April 22, 2009 at 9:54 pm
(56) Meg says:

I have only been able to maintain a romantic relationship lasting more than 4 months since 2000. That is when I was on Paxil and Wellbutrin. Also regarding emotional blunting, when my son was born in 2002 with a potentially fatal birth defect, I went through the entire ordeal totally “un-phased” as did I during my Father’s death in 2004.

April 23, 2009 at 7:32 am
(57) Suzy says:

I think the thought of an SSRI making you “fall out of love” is the
most absurd thing I’ve ever heard! Come on. If you have fallen out of love, don’t blame it on anything else than yourselves the 2 people in the relationship. I took Prozac for 10 years, then thought it was pooping out, so my pdoc added Wellbutrin, and I still felt depressed. Well duh! Of course I felt depressed! My dad had just passed away four months prior and I was grieving. Grief is the same thing as depression. They are one in the same. After he took me off the Prozac I was only on Wellbutrin and a little bit of Celexa, but since that did nothing 4 my depression, a year later, I begged my pdoc to put me back on the prozac
and Wellbutrin for the booster. I am
so glad he did! I am much less depressed, however, this time around
(it didn’t happen to me, the prior 10 years) it made my libido something of the past. However in no
way, shape or manner, have I fallen out of love w/ my husband! Meds cannot make you fall out of love. Come on people, get a grip! Start taking responsibility for your own mistakes and own up to it!

April 24, 2009 at 9:36 am
(58) Brenda says:

What a revelation! I am relieved to find out that I am not the only one who wonders if I even love my husband anymore. He hasn’t done anything wrong…I just didn’t have that sense of loving him. Or anyone else for that matter. I thought it was just me. I have been on different anti-depressants for 25 years now. I knew they caused my lack of desire for sex, but I had no idea the medicine could also numb feelings of love.
I can’t stop the medicine. Everytime I’ve tried my depression comes back full force.
I have PTSS so I need the medication. I will definately talk to my psychologist about this.

April 25, 2009 at 9:19 pm
(59) Victoria says:

I just read the article and i can’t wait to show my husband in the morning! I have felt like a heartless, cold, horrible person for awhile now because i have been on cipralex-escitalopram for nearly a year and i got married and had no emotion and he always says i didn’t cry or anything and he did and its true i seem not to be able to cry and nothing can bring a stong emotional reaction with in me unless i am being attacked personally with words. I feel i want to have sex but i have lost all my desire for my husband and i am tryinig to get it back but i just don’t feel like with him and i love him very much so this is very frustrating. But after reading this i am definatly going to talk to my counceller and doctor to see what they suggest!!

April 26, 2009 at 3:46 am
(60) Miranda says:

Omg. I thought I just fell out of love with him. It feels so empty inside, when he touches me, it doesn’t feel special anymore. When I hug him or kiss him – feel nothing. Everything feels so bland and automatic.

But the disturbing thing is I’ve been on antidepressants for 3 months and was only on them for 6 months. How can this still be affecting me?

May 1, 2009 at 5:10 am
(61) Nicole says:

I stumbled upon this article as i was looking up ways people become not just emotionally numb, but completely numb to all emotions. I have severe depression and anxiety and a rather bad case of panic attacks.I also suffer from post traumatic stress disorder. Anyways, I have been on anything from zoloft, effexor,seroquel,wellbutrin,klonopin,lithium,risperdal,and many more.More recently I have been on a newer pill they have out called pristiq, it is from the same company that makes effexor except it is a SSNRI instead of a SSRI.I asked my psychiatrist what the difference was and she told me it was an antidepressant but without the insanely bad side effects. When she told me this i was dumb founded.My experience with this pill was unlike any other, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, like i just might actually have that chance i so desperately wanted to enjoy life again BUT without being turned into a zombie!( by zombie i mean getting an icky high from a pill)..I was amazed to say the least. my whole life i have felt like i was looking from outside a fish bowl, like nothing in front of me was real and for the first time in so many years i felt like everything was real again. its not that i didnt know…because i knew everything thing is real, but it was more like my depression was eating me alive. Sad to say but i am no longer on this pill, but i am hoping that this can help someone who feels the same as i do..okay the only bad thing i would have to say is that the first few days on the pill i was hyper and my arms even shaked but after that…my body was okay with it. I have to say this..it was so hard to have an orgasm while on this pill, it was worthless even trying sometimes, lol
but unlike the others this pill is a miracle worker at least for me..oh and the reason i am off of this is cause i moved back in with my mother and i have yet to see a psychiatrist. Past experience with other pills were awful. With zoloft..i became emotionally numb and after so long the bubble of hidden emotions burst and i began to cut myself. I had just turned 13 years old then.Not too long after that i took effexor and it had the same effect. Oh and i forgot to mention, my family always loved to remind me of how much of a bitch i was on the pills. Naturally i am a very nice girl. Anyways within the next few years i had become a test rat for pills.I was misiagnosed with bipolar disorder and they put me on seroquel, this was the first time i was misdiagnosed but not the last. Anyways, boy was that a ride, i was stoned out of my mind, my eyes were burning and i started to hear and see things that didnt exist while on that pill. On the risperdal i had breast milk and the hallucinations. Never again!I was misdiagnosed by a nurse practitioner who thought i was a drug addict cause i told her that the klonopin was the only thing that has ever helped me with my panic attacks and my anxiety in the past.Later thankfully i seen a psychiatrist and he set me straight..i was beginning to think i was schizophrenic. He told me it is sad how many people are misdiagnosed because of their symptoms. He also reassured me that i was not schizophrenic. You have to understand after having this nurse practitioner rub my back and tell me it was not my fault i was schizophrenic, i was lost. My mood is the same all the time, i am always upset and there is very little if anything that will make me happy. Like i said before the psychiatrist reassured me that i was just depressed and have lots of anxiety. I have taken xanax and my view on it isnt very good. In my experience it calms the body and not the mind while making you feel like a walking zombie and high as a kite, no wonder some people use it as a sleep aid. I would say klonopin is better because it not only calms your body but it calms your mind. That was the first pill that i have ever taken that took my racing thoughts away and gave me peace at mind.It is also excellent in calming you down if your starting to get a panic attack.Both xanax and klonopin are addictive but i would have to say the klonopin is the better of two evils. Well, let me see, when i was on wellbutrin, lets say this i might as well have taken a couple of caffeine pills.As for the trouble with getting an orgasm, it was with most pills atleast for me. Though the klonopin tends to make me crave sexual things even more. I am an 18 year old mother and without my daughter i would have committed suicide by now.I believe that if there was more love in this world and more people who actually gave a shit about eachother the world would be a much safer, happier, and over all a more better and enjoyable place to live in.I think people would be less dependant on drugs if some of the people in this world wasnt so cruel.I do believe there are some of us who need the pills just to get through the day cause they have an inbalance or they dont have the will to get up in the morning. I hope that you all find true love and happiness in this life and realize…some people need the extra help from the pills and others dont, they just need to be listened to and loved instead of jabbing a pill down their throats..especially the children.Good luck and i hope this helps someone.Sorry for my awful spelling and etc.

May 1, 2009 at 5:12 am
(62) nicole says:

no they can not make you fall out of love …but they can make you become emotionally numb by creating a mask over your feelings

May 4, 2009 at 8:05 pm
(63) Maureen says:

I am glad that I read this article it is in my opinion completely true.I have been on fluoextine for several years and I have no sexual desires,urges whatsoever and have resigned myself to a life without sex as i just dont have any want or needs or desires sexually at all any more but the point in my case is that my medication keeps me from falling apart and plumeting into depression.

May 10, 2009 at 1:46 am
(64) Anah says:

This study is so accurate. I can tell from my experience that SSRIs effects on a romantic relationship can be devastating. My BF started to take Prozac about 5 months ago and he has gradually become cold, emotionless, as if he had no feelings towards me any more. Needless to mention that his libido went dramatically down. We used to have a pretty good sexual life, now he can’t even have an orgasm.

Now he acts like a heartless, cold, horrible person. He is practically tossing me out of his life. Our communication is completely one-sided. It seems as if he didn’t care any more.

He suddenly stopped loving me and says he cant feel his emotions now, that he feels detached towards his family and friends too. I think he might also be seeing other people now to try to feel.

He is a totally different person and i still love her but i can’t live like this. I miss my BF like crazy, i want him to be happy but i want to be happy too. Is it a lost cause? Would other SSRIS make her feel again?

May 13, 2009 at 8:46 am
(65) Turquoise says:

Hi.

I am new to this and I am wondering if anyone can help make sense of my situtaion.

I moved away from home to start a new life with my boyfriend of 7 months, in his town (an hour and a half away from where i lived). Although a sudden thing to do in such a short space of time, I had no regrets what so ever as I had never been this IN LOVE before and was 100% about everything.

The first 3 months of living here were fantastic – almost like a holiday I suppose. I was with the man of my dreams. Had a new job with better money than I had at home (although I didn’t fully like this new job, which stressed me out alot).

The only bad things that happened in the first 3 months were that I had bouts of anxiety about various things:

1) My job and that I hated it and didn’t feel like I belonged there.
2) I would be scared that because I’d ordered something online that people would be able to hack into my bank account.
3) I obsessed about my past alot – mistakes I’d made in life.

I have also had a traumatic upbringing due to a depressive mother/I have abuse memories from a family friend.

Apart from the above though, I was so happy to be with my soulmate and was so secure for the first time in my life.

Well anyway, in December (3 months after moving down), I fell ill with my back (I have had surgery on my spine in the past and have occasional episodes where something just ‘goes’ and I am bedridden. I was given painkillers and diazapam off the doctor which seemed to help.

But a few days after coming off the diazepam, an AWFUL thing happened. I suddenly was ridden with anxiety, dread, guilt and was overwhelemed by my situation – my new life. I didn’t think I loved my boyfriend anymore and began to cry and cry and be sick every 5 minutes. I had to run away, I couldn’t cope, so went back up home to be with my mother. However I felt no relief and felt I should come back to be with him. He was very upset and confused but understood.

Now basically ever since December last year, I have suffered with this terrible depression and can’t feel love at all for my boyfriend or even my family and pet sometimes?! I feel detached from everything. I have been on antidepressants throughout but i feel worse, so the doctor is weaning me off them. It’s like I know i love my boyfriend, but i can’t feel/see it. But I’m not sure if I’m just in denial! I don’t know what’s real anymore.

I thought I may have an Adjustment Disorder of some type, or maybe it could have something to do with the anxiety attack in December – especially by the fact that I was a bit obsessive about other stuff before hand.

However I KNOW I want to love him again and at times I feel I do – at these moments I feel a huge relief but it doesn’t last long because the thoughts come in and say ‘you don’t love him? you’re just in denial.

I am so unhappy. I want to feel love for this wonderful man. There is nothing wrong with our relationship. Nothing has changed. Yet lately I find him irritating at times and find flaws in his face, when I know he is attractive? WHY?!

I am so terrified that maybe I just don’t love him – as this is the worst thing for me ever.

Please can someone shed some light on this horrible situation?

Thank you

May 23, 2009 at 11:18 am
(66) John says:

I was on fluoxitine for less then 2 months before I realized this had happened to me.
I tapered down and have been off of it for nearly 2 months now.

While I do feel more emotions now, I definitely am not even close to how I was pre meds, even with the completely debilitating anxiety I was suffering.

Does anyone know how long it takes to regain your emotions / feelings of love after coming clean of meds?
Thanks.

P.S. I find it astounding that professionals can hand out these drugs without warning people that it has the potential to ruin your relationships with the most important people in your life. Something has to be done to the psychiatric practice, to regulate this kind of crap.

June 17, 2009 at 1:23 pm
(67) Rob says:

i have recently become aware of the effects of my wifes meds. After 10 months of no sexual activity and me feeling like it was something i did or did not do i realize that this part of our relationship maybe gone. I realize that i need to do more things around the house to try to make her day to day better than it is now.

June 25, 2009 at 3:53 pm
(68) Barbara says:

I’ve found this article purely by chance. My husband has been on Citalopram for 4 months and had initially seemed much happier and more inclined to spend time with me,rather than in total isolation playing his keyboard. However, more recently he has gone downhill. Hates his job and his life really. Then the really bad part.Now he says he no longer loves me,feels lost and doesn’t know what he wants. I am astounded and hurt. Am now wondering if the meds have caused his emotions to go numb? I have no idea what to do.Is it worth him going back to the doctor. Hopefully if I suggest this,he may go. Interesting reading all the posts. I had no idea so many people were on these drugs and that they cause so many emotional issues.

June 30, 2009 at 11:54 pm
(69) Nikki says:

I’ve been on Celexa for 4 days and I am thinking I will stop taking them now. I don’t want to be an emotionless person and I still want to fall in love and have a romantic relationship even though I am not ready for one yet. But I am afraid my anxiety and depression will never go away.

August 31, 2009 at 1:36 pm
(70) CLWSTL says:

How do you know if it is the SSRI or the depression itself making you fall out of love or masking those emotions?

September 14, 2009 at 10:51 pm
(71) Jane says:

I read through 98% of all these comments, not one mentions cognitive talk therapy as a solution as well as the medication. Relying on JUST the medication is a recipe for disaster, both are needed to overcome depression.

September 18, 2009 at 11:19 pm
(72) nyk says:

Wow. I hope I could have read this 8 yrs ago. It probably would have spared me alot of confusion. I’m actually pretty suprised I had not found this article before, considering I am information obsessed. Anyway… My last year of highschool, I had the perfect girlfriend, good grades, great friends, I was about to graduate. Then on spring break I visited my mom and sister who live in another country and my sister tries to commit suicide. At the time I was pretty cool about it, considering how hard it all was. When I came back home, we all went on a class trip and it should’ve been great, being with my friends and gf for three weeks…but it was horrible. For the first time in my life I experienced anxiety, something I now experience almost daily. Anyway, the first thing I started feeling was disconnected from my gf, she would irritate me, I no longer felt close to her…I was confused, I felt I might be falling out of love. When we got back home my anxiety was almost unbearable. That horrible combination of guilt and that sense of impending doom. Ruminating all the time. My parents decided I should go to a psychiatrist and deal with the traumatic experience I had gone through. Mind you at this time, I was already on Tegretol because I’d had seizures mainly due to drug abuse, and Ritalin, because the school thought I had ADHD. So the psych put me on SSRIs… Those were the most painful months of my life. I literally fell out of love with everything. But mainly my relationship is what hurt me the most. I figure this is probably due to the fact that I was abandoned by my father as a child, and my fear of abandonment is soooo bad, my worst nightmare is to have to abandon someone because of something out of my control…I don’t know if that makes sense. Anyway, so for the last 8 years I’ve systematically managed to become a serial monogamist who falls hard and then very suddenly and with no causes to actually motivate it, falls out of love… My biggest fear, my most painful moments. I’m in a very different relationship right now, we’ve broken up but are back to dating, and I experience these feelings for a couple of days at a time everytime we have a fight. In my last relationship, which lasted 4 years, I fell out of love at least once a month!
After reading this article I’m starting to think I may have found an explanation… When I experienced my first bout of depression and anxiety, and was prescribed SSRIs the biggest side effect I felt was the loss of love and libido. Not knowing these were side effects of the drugs, I figured thats just how I was wired, unable to keep myself in love, doomed to abandoning anyone who could fall in love with me. My brain picked up the emotional and physical symptoms of this, and has now established that when I feel fear, anxiety, sadness, when I panic…it must be that I am falling out love. I push myself into feeling that, I have become addicted to it.
And all of this due to the fact that the treatment that was supposed to help me out with my most traumatic experience became my most traumatic experience…
I stopped taking SSRIs about 6 years ago. Since then I’ve taken some psych drugs, but always without a real prescription, just self medicating… I’ve stopped using drugs (recreational) since JAN 09.
But I’ve never, at least not long enough so I forget what it feels like, been able to keep those feelings of guilt and despair away…
Just wanted to share, thanks for reading.

October 9, 2009 at 9:38 am
(73) Shelly says:

this is exactly whats happening to my boyfriend, after taking antidepressants for one week after he tried commiting suicide, he questioned his feelings towards me and decided to end things. We have a long distance relationship and i’ve been adviced to leave him alone for now. Its really hard for me to see him go through this and I pray daily to God so that he can help him overcome this depression and eventually get his emotions back assuming he’s on the right medication. Its been 6 weeks and it seems like he’s slowly in better mood.

November 22, 2009 at 5:38 pm
(74) Kellie says:

I have found that most anti D’s make you feel numb to just about everything. You can’t feel elation, passion or true happiness, it also numbed feelings of ‘needing’ to do activities that need to be donem you are kind of blase about everything. I have been off my tabs for 4 days now and I can actually feel ‘real’ emotions… although, I am not looking forward to the withdrawals of Pristiq. I was on Lexapro before Pristiq and it was worse. I would rather have depression when things go wrong than not to feel anything.

December 16, 2009 at 12:25 pm
(75) B says:

ugh…im on lexapro and feel like a damn robot..no highs or lows…just no feeling at all! anyone feel like this?

December 18, 2009 at 7:09 pm
(76) James says:

I wouldn’t say SSRIs could make you “mistakenly” fall out of love. Emotions are always “real” regardless of their source. A biochemical change in the brain is no more “right” or “wrong” because it was caused by a medication.

December 30, 2009 at 8:35 pm
(77) Emma says:

Hi I commented here awhile ago and since then I went off the medication. I have not gotten my feelings back and am wondering how long it will take to get them back, I have never had depression, it was for anxiety, but now I still do not receive the highs or lows. I am wondering if this is because I’ve been on them since young. If anyone can help it’s very appreciated.

January 16, 2010 at 8:55 am
(78) Jared says:

I am on zoloft and it seems forever before my wife can get me off rather its sex or something else. I stopped taking my meds for awhile and the feeling came back it was easier for her to get me off. But as of now I am still taking them and our relationship is great but I don’t know why it takes me so long when I’m on them compared to when I’m not any info you have on this would be great….

January 27, 2010 at 8:38 am
(79) Zena says:

After a few months of getting to know each other better, my (now ex) boyfriend and I started our relationship. Everything was fantastic. People said they had never seen him happier, he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face when we where together.

He had been single for a long time before we got together – so it was all a bit new to him. But all he had wanted was to find a girl, settle down, have children and enjoy life. I basically ticked all the boxes that he was looking for.

Shrtly into our ‘official’ relationship he told me he was starting to feel similarly to how he felt a couple of years ago when he fell into a deep depression. He told me not to worry as he can see it coming so will do what he can to stop it gettin hold of him.

2 weeks later we were out with a friend at the cinema, then to the pub after. Our friend left and my BF then continued to have a very public and very emotional break down. The depression had gotten the better of him. He told me that he just wanted to get better and that he had no idea how to do that with a partner… he has only known how to do it whilst single with only himself to be concerned with. He ended it. I was mortified, but knew I had to leave him to get better, hole himself up and heal.

3 weeks into his depression, our friend met with him and talked a bit about what he was going through. During which he said that he definitely wanted to carry on seeing me and he was using me as a target to get better for. At this point he had been on his SSRI’s for about a week.

after another 3 weeks or so… he got in touch and invited me out to the cinema. I agreed to go. We had a nice time and talked, but not about anything deep or emotional about him and I and what was to happen with our relationship.

A week later – he called me and said that getting into a relationship with me in the 1st place was a mistake, he jumped in as he was needy and his brain was wired differently then. He went on to say that he did not have the same feelings for me as I have for him and that he feels he just needs to be honest.

Now, all of this sounds A LOT like the affects of his SSRI’s to me. He said that he had been feeling himself again for about a week or so – which is exactly how long he had lost his feelings for me, or thought our whole relationship was wrong.

My story is a bit different to most i have read here as we were in that lovely honeymoon period when all this kicked off and went horrbly wrong.
It has left me feeling so hurt and abandoned… I really love him. I sat there going out of my mind for 7 weeks while I gave him the space he needed only to be presented with “sorry it was all a mistake.”

It doesn’t make sense… nobody close to him or to me thinks that it makes sense, judging by how much he liked me, the hurdles we overcame to actually BE together in the 1st place. The only thing that can explain it is that the meds have left him emotionless toward me.

I know that this is not me and that it is his problem and really I am powerless to do anything. Until he comes off his meds, no one will be able to predict what he will feel… It’s comforting to be able to share my story with people who know where I am coming from.

If anyone can offer me any advice, that would be great.

February 2, 2010 at 9:15 pm
(80) Jessica says:

Ya I definitely know how it is. I’ve been on Seroquel and Lamictal for 2 years, I barley got off of all meds cuz im sick of being drugged all the time, I want to feel alive again but i’ve been off the meds for about a month now and my loving happy feelings for anything hasnt come back yet does ANYONE know when things are suppose to go back to normal???

February 3, 2010 at 4:52 pm
(81) Katie says:

Hi, i have been takening ssris for about year and abit now, after i had a abit of break down and started having panic attack about everything in my life. At first they really helped to calm me down after 6 months i stoped talking them but this ended in the most horrific attack i ever had where i felt like i just wanted to run away from everything including my loving boyfriend at the time, i felt traped, scared and like i couldnt carry on with life. The attack lasted about 4 days and was awful, since this i have had on and off attacks for another 6 months. I felt like the drugs were working agaisnt and not helping, this website really helped too. I noticed i couldnt really feel anything, i never felt sad and i never felt happy, i just felt lost and that my mind was foggy. I decided at new year i was fed up with this all i just wanted to be happy and be happy in my relationship again. I am nearly off them and am starting to feel back to my old self , i want to go out now, i love my boyfriend more than ever. I feel like i have my life is slowly coming back. I just want to say thanks to this site and all your comments, they have inspired me and make me realise am not the only one. When i feel down i just look at this and i realise am not crazy. Thanks so much

February 7, 2010 at 4:27 pm
(82) Donna says:

Hello,
Im so glad I came across this disscusion, I hope someone will have some advice or knowledge for me on my situation. My husband has been on citalopram for about 2 years I felt it was helping him and never really seemed to see any side effects such as being zombie like or emotionless untill about 8 months ago. we were having problems and he would tell me that he just wasnt sure what was going on with him but that he just felt confused and didnt know what he wanted in his life. things started to get better for a while and then 3 months ago I noticed him feeling emotionless again. I asked if he was still on the medication and he said he had stopped cold turkey 2 months ago. he says he loves me very much and cares for me deeply but other than that he has no kind of feeling on what he wants in life and has no libido at all now since he has been off. which his libido was actually really good while on the medication. Has anyone still felt emotionless and no libido after stopping citalopram cold turkey?

February 16, 2010 at 5:25 am
(83) sarah says:

my h has had testicular cancer which he is now cancer free and has now been told he has low testosterone which as yet is not being treated. I have been told that low test can lower dopamine? About 3 months ago he started to withdraw from me, lost his libido, can’t bear any physical affection, seems depressed, can’t handle kids etc etc. Now he has left us and we are devastated. Says he feels numb towards me. He has moved away from area and says there is no going back fro us. I truly can’t believe it, after all we have been thro together. Could low test really hold the key or am i cluctching at straws? He also said at one point he didn’t feel he loved anyone, least of all himself. Of course he cares fro or kids but not seeing them a massive amount at mo. Anyone have any thoughts or experiences that could help me?? Thank you

February 16, 2010 at 12:32 pm
(84) BJL says:

I may have experienced what SSRIs can do to a person first hand.

I fell for a girl, and she for I, or so I thought.

We spent a lot of time together, we never got on each others nerves and were always laughing and goofing around. Being flirty etc etc. Then one night she confessed that she was falling in love with me. Which worked out well cause I was too.

A few weeks after that, after she started taking an SSRI, she said she didnt see me like that anymore. That I got under her skin and only thought of me as a friend.

I was confused and lost, not even 4 weeks ago this girl was in my arms crying cause she was so happy to find a guy that treated her so well. Then after a few weeks on a pill those feelings just vanished.

I wont even talk to this girl anymore, and because of this incident if I ever find out a girl I am seeing is on these drugs, it is an instant deal breaker. Mind altering substances, prescribed or not, is not something I should have to deal with.

February 18, 2010 at 1:15 pm
(85) Russell says:

My wife started on Celexa around October. The dose was increased in December, and now she wants a divorce. These meds need to be taken off the market. They do more harm than good, especially to relationships.

February 19, 2010 at 9:26 pm
(86) Doreen says:

I am seeing way too many people look narrowly at thier situations and say “the drugs did it”.
I have tried many medications. I am now the happiest on 60mg of Cymbalta.
On the other hand, no one aruond me likes it. I’m honest: I get anrgy, sad, happy. Because of talk-therapy I am realizing that it’s aoky to feel whatever I’m feeling. Problem it, no one else got the memo.
Being on SSRI’s and having talk therapy DOES change people, because thier way of thining is getting refreshed like a web page. It is like being the only one dressed up for a halloween party.
No one files for divorce, moves out of the country, or falls out of love because of medication. It affects levels of hormones, not one’s entire way of thinking.
It is the individuals who act on thier thoughts that are upsetting thier loved ones. if you love them, let them go through it. It gets ugly. Sorry, that’s how it is. Yet, you will see a stronger person emerge from the rubble. Promise.

February 20, 2010 at 6:38 pm
(87) Katie says:

I left a comment on here a few weeks back, am now off these horrible drugs which do wreck lifes. They dont make u fall out of love but they do blunt ur emotions making u think u have fallen out of love. I have been off these drugs for a few weeks now and it was hell but now am through and looking forward for the future. I want to say thank u for all the comments of here it makes me realise am not the only one, there is hope out there for everyone. The drugs just mask problems and made me feel foggy and worse than before. Now i feel stronger, happier, more out going then ever. My relationship has got stronger and am in love all over again i feel like when we first meet. The advice i would give to people is, if u can find an alternate way to help u please do , get off these drugs and do it slow (bad withdrawls), always be strong and realise what life is all about.

February 22, 2010 at 12:49 am
(88) BJL says:

Doreen, I know it may work for you but that doesnt mean some of these side effects arent real.

I’m glad the drugs seem to work for you but in reality it seems like it has changed you. Sometimes we may think things that we dont always want to say. It’s all part of being in a polite society. If you see nothing wrong and everyone around you does perhaps there is something wrong?

And it effects neurochemicals, which is in essence how we perceive everything. A low Serotonin level and Increase Dopamine level is a sign of OCD. Something Prozac claims to treat. That is also the same chemical make up of love (at least in early stages). If an SSRI increases Serotonin and decreases Dopamine (which is also the reward chemical) then isnt it possible that these drugs could blunt a feeling of love?

How can someone be so willing to say that this pill can make you happy and take away depression but not have effects on other emotions?

March 1, 2010 at 12:17 pm
(89) Evro says:

I have just had the most awful day. Since I started the SSRI’s I have totally lost my love feelings for my wife of 22 years. I still don’t believe I don’t love her, it’s just I can’t get any type of feeling good or bad. I sometimes think I am losing my head.

March 2, 2010 at 1:52 pm
(90) bjl says:

Sorry to hear that evro. How long have you been on SSRIs?

March 13, 2010 at 10:44 pm
(91) LoveBugPugs says:

Suzy
I 100% know that these SSRIs and other antidepressants CAN do this. After I developed PostPartum Panic Disorder I was put on Celexa. It did make me emotionally flat. I went zip-lining through the mountians, for the first time ever, and felt not much of anything! No epinephrine or norepinephrin rush of any kind! Normally I would be the most nervous and excited person and I felt almost nothing! I then switched to Lexapro due to side effect on the Celexa and it was the same.
Anyone trying to get off of these meds needs to do so by tapering very slowly.

March 14, 2010 at 11:11 am
(92) susie says:

I was so horribly brokenhearted and confused until I read all these blog comments – now I feel I know exactly what was going on with my boyfriend, who has been on SSRIs for years. We met each other at a point in our lives where both of us wanted to settle down, we wanted the same things, and both of us had all the things the other was looking for, from pyhsical attraction to similar values. There were never two people more happy to find someone and ready to love as we were. It happened for me, I loved him pretty soon after we startd dating. But after a year of happy times and getting on well enough, he just says he never felt anything like love, though he cares for me deeply. It never “happened” for him.

He actually knows that SSRIs can affect how you process love chemicals, and thinks that may have been the reason he couldn’t have deep feelings for me, when he thinks everything about me was what he wanted in his life. That’s what’s so frustrating and heartbreaking to me. He threw our relationship away, even knowing this, and thinks that the next time he will feel that connection. But that’s the thing – he has not been feeling that connection for many, many years, with many other women, and now I think the SSRIs are probably the reason. It kills me that he can conceptualize that these drugs are actually holding him back from finding love, the thing he most desperately wants to find in his life, but not take steps to lessen their hold.

March 19, 2010 at 2:14 pm
(93) Alyssa3054 says:

brandi34-

Thanks so much for posting your story. I feel that I am in the same situation as you are in. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years, and in that time he has become diagnosed with depression. After multiple suicide attempts and breakdowns, he has told me that he doesn’t necessarily feel sad, but has a lack of emotion at all. I have found myself going to extremes to try and please him in anyway possible. I worry that he will never be happy with me, or worse never happy at all.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone, and that I appreciate your post!

April 4, 2010 at 1:38 pm
(94) GF says:

This makes a lot of sense, the same thing is happening to me. Just a couple of weeks ago, out of the blue I got extremely depressed. I am prone to depression anyway, but I hadn’t felt that sad in a long time, I wasn’t motivated to do anything, I wasn’t excited to hang out with my girlfriend, I was sleeping more, I would lose appetite on a dime, felt hopeless, my sex drive is gone and more. Which was totally out of context of my life because I should have been happy then. I was back together with my ex-gf who I love very much, and was with for a year and a half at one point, so why wouldn’t I be happy? But I had this terrible feeling of impending doom, like soon I was going to lose her, and I was never going to see her agian, my depression very much revolves around my relationship with her. Probably becasue I don’t want to lose her, she means the world to me. I would never be excited or motivated to hang out with her, but when I did I was happy, but I only wanted to sit and watch movies on the couch. And whenever I wasn’t around her, it was like coming down from a high, and whenever I saw something that reminded me of her, I just got very upset, and tearful. I often hit myself in the head, bash my dead on the wall from confusion, and I cry everyday and I ignore many of my calls from people that want to hang out with me because I don’t want to do anything.

That was last week, and a few days I got put on 5 mg of Lexapro. Just yesterday, I woke up from a dream I had where my girlfriend told me she didn’t love me anymore, and immediately had doubts that I loved her anymore. I know I do, but I don’t feel it. The hugs and kisses just don’t give me the same feeling anymore like they should.
Help me.

April 5, 2010 at 6:41 pm
(95) Penny says:

It is a revelation to read these comments. Thank you to all who have shared.

I’ve been on SSRIs since 2001 when I suffered a head injury and I, for the first time accepted that I was depressed. That semester I had enrolled in 5 subjects to fast track my dual degrees. After in injury, due to memory loss, going on antidepressants and much other confusion, I dropped 2 subjects and finished the semester with some great outcomes.

I have found SSRIs have made me emotionally numb. They did have fantastic effects lifting my depression and I felt clear enough to seek additional therapy, but it was definitely all roses.

I have wanted for a long time to write a book helping others. Encouraging others to remain living and that there is a workable solution in your life.

I seek personal life experiences/comments, solutions, book writing assistance, interested publisher’s support and any other constructive advice that people wish to give me towards this worthwhile cause.

I look forward to your experiences.
Penny.

May 4, 2010 at 6:03 am
(96) Ryan says:

Hi,

I have recently been trawling the net for information and insights into the subject of depression since starting a relationship with a really amazing girl just short of a year ago. I have come across various online discussions between people with similar experiences with a loved one suffering from depression. Briefly, here is my story…

I met my girlfriend about a year and a half ago, and from the outset there was a strong attraction and connection that we both felt for each other. We started spending more time together and after a while a truly wonderful relationship started.

In the beginning, things were really going well. We spent (and still do) loads of time together and feelings grew which I could feel coming from her side, too. I began noticing that she withdrew in social environments and felt shy around new people, but I put it down to her simply being a little shy.

About three months in, she plucked up the courage to tell me that she had suspected she suffered from depression since her early teens. She went on to say she had recently seen a doctor who was about to start her on a dose of SSRI’s (Cipralex).

I was initially taken aback and uncertain of the implications. I admired her honesty and bravery for seeking help and telling me about it. We moved to a new own together where she found work and so did I. Generally, we have had great times together, and since she began the prescription, the effects have varied in intensity. I think her expectations were high – that this would be a cure and relief to how she was suffering. She spoke of one day in the early stages of her prescription of feeling completely connected and peaceful inside. The feeling of emptiness and gray had lifted and everything around her seemed alive, colourful and beautiful again. She spoke of compassion returning, love for her family, pets, friends and me.

This was a fleeting experience though, and she explains that she has returned to a depressive cycle, although not as severe as it once was. Rather, she says this is more a “flat” almost emtionless state. After doing much reading I am beginning to think its the ironic effects of the meds.

She avoids speaking about it, as I think that she is so hopeful that the medication she is on will succeed in relieving her of the condition. However, slowly but surely, I have definitely noticed an emotional retreat on her part. Where she was once playful, talkative, inquisitive and full of energy, there is a disturbingly blase’, almost lifeless presence. It is taking its effect on me as I feel that we have lost something between us, and the attraction and affection she had for me is gone. It makes me sad because I want so badly for her to be happy and feel those things again. I find consolation by having spoken with her family and some friends, who say that they have noticed the same thing and experienced the same distance from her. She, herself admits this and does not want to lose me. She says she knows she loves me and just cant feel it, not even for her sisters and parents.

While she is putting on a brave face, I can see she is suffering behind the facade. I confront her about it as I want to help and understand as much as I can to help find a solution. Once we get talking it provides me with a better understanding, but the distance I feel is still hurting. We have planned to see a new doctor within a week to find an alternative. It appears from reading the messages that some of SSRI’s can have this effect on the sufferer.
It gives me comfort and feeling of support to realize that I am not alone on the receiving end of a depressed loved one. If there are any encouraging suggestions, please leave a comment. I hope that we can get through this and bring the light back…

May 28, 2010 at 2:13 pm
(97) Wait says:

Does anyone ever stop to think that it might be the depression that’s causing the lack of love, or the lack of love that’s causing the depression, and that meds might not have anything to do with it?

June 14, 2010 at 9:47 pm
(98) Josh says:

Wait…

Depression could be causing a lack of love, anhedonia is listed as a symptom, I doubt it but I’m not a professional either.

Depression is such a vague “disease” that almost anyone could be suffering from it. A lot of people feel down at times, they doesn’t mean they are depressed, just need a little self-efficacy.

The human mind and emotions produced are incredibly complex, it’s amazing that we are smart enough to know that yet stupid enough to think that a simple pill will cure us without having any consequences.

June 24, 2010 at 3:08 am
(99) lorraine miller says:

my husband suffered depression 5 yrs ago he said then that he didn’t love me or want to be with me and we got through this he is still on antidepressent but i’m going through this all again same words wanting to go out, be on he’s own dont love me and dont want to be here, can he be depressed again ? he went to the doctors and he increased he’s dose 10mg more but will things change this time what do i do i love him so much !!!

July 9, 2010 at 1:08 am
(100) Michelle says:

I am truly grateful to have found this blog and these comments. I started dating my first boyfriend and first love almost 3 years ago. Our relationship has been rocky at times, but we were strong, deeply in love, and overcame anything. Earlier this year, we separated and then later decided to get back but my feelings and affections weren’t as strong as his. This, as well as school and work issues, lead him to become extremely insecure, stressed, and scared that he was going to lose me which started the obsession, major anxiety, and uncontrollable anger fits that were about the smallest things. I was as supportive as I could be but he would only convince himself that I wasn’t in love with him anymore (which wasn’t/isn’t true). It got so severe that he began cutting himself and made suicide threats almost every day. The doctor gave him a medication that calmed his impulses but it didn’t work so they prescribed him Prozac (I think 20mg). I noticed he was calmer just after a couple of days but I also saw a change in his attitude towards me (I can pinpoint the exact day, May 19). He paid less attention to me and showed less affection, greatly increasing in apathy. He’s been on these pills for almost 2 months now, and even he admits that he’s not the same person anymore. He no longer feels like he loves or wants to be with me, and at times may seem like he even hates me. He’s cold and very blunt to the point where he doesn’t care if what he says will hurt me. It all shifted within a day, from being soo in love with me to absolutely nothing at all. I’ve reassured him that I’m going to remain by his side through it all for support, but he says he doesn’t care. This indifference and irritation is mostly directed towards me than anyone else in his life, which makes me confused and very sad.

I am thankful that the meds have helped and made him value life more, but at the same time I’m beyond distraught and heartbroken that our relationship has been torn apart in a such a short period of time, when our love and security was just there a couple months ago. I feel like I should leave him alone like he wants but losing my first love and best friend would be horrible because I’m very much in love with him still, and I’m sure deep down he still loves me. I’ve been crying every day because I couldn’t understand but after reading all these stories, I feel like I’m not alone and have greater hope that he’ll lessen/stop the meds soon and begin to be normal again.

I’d just like some input on what would be the best thing to do in my situation, if anyone could email me at mhua@uci.edu. I’d really appreciate it, thanks.

July 11, 2010 at 10:09 am
(101) Claudia says:

Hi there,
I had been using an antidepressant (C Pram S 10), which was prescribed to me by a psychiatrist to treat Depression and extreme moodswings due to onset of menopause.

I have been reading some of the posts, I would like to point out my view: Could it be, that antidepression medication gives the strenght to start dealing with unpleasant situations, that earlier just were avoided?
Even I am separating from my partner, but I do not want to take the relationship any longer….and for the first time I could open my mouth and voice it…
So, the question is, has the antidepressant given me more self esteem to get out or has it destroyed a relationship…. I am off medication for some 4 weeks now, I do not think I am experiencing withdrawal (jet?!),
I still want to get out of my relationship…..
All only because of the medication or just a emotional and logical conclusion…?

July 12, 2010 at 8:54 am
(102) Lacey says:

Claudia, how can a pill for the mind give you strength to speak up? If you are breaking up with your partner, it is unfortunate but hope that you are aware that you are sounding like a classic example of the side-effects of SSRI drugs. It is only chemicals that are inflating your esteem as real life would be different if all popped the pill.
You mention that you started on the drug for menopause. Your mind is already a deadly cocktail for disaster. The effects of the meds are long lasting so therefore you need to question yourself before you question your relationship. If it has been a long-term relationship, stop, pause, think and rethink. I have destroyed my marriage, had affairs with men who I would have normally not looked at, lost all my assets and my kids hate me. Battling the effects which are not in the mind anymore but can feel the quakes and tremors even now.
If you are off the meds, it does not mean you are rid of the effects. Step gently as we hurt but hurt the people around us the most as we must respect that they are not on any ‘happy pills’

July 13, 2010 at 3:15 pm
(103) Penny says:

Like Claudia’s post up there, I too had made up my mind and was convinced that my relationship was dead but today, only 4 months after I left my husband of 12 years do I realise what a mess I have made of my life. He was supportive and held my hand through the years but I was feeling my new hi-self esteem. Given by a pill?
Was I wrong or was I wrong? I got used, trashed, abused and dumped by men; had affairs even before I left my husband to not last even 3 weeks. Now I am alone today as I did far more damage than I thought I was capable of, addicted or withdrawn, without emotional support and see myself sitting on a table with other single women, getting hammered drinking myself silly, cursing men and missing the one man who really loved me.
Stay away from these drugs. I feel no love but I miss it so. Claudia, like Lacey says and I concur, think and rethink before you let go of any human being especially someone who loves you. Their faults are way too small than the ones we have when we are on these medications.
How long have you been on these medications and are you taking anything else? if you are then it is probably just a change but the same family. I have been on so many different kind of drugs and now understand that my emotional blunting is due to these SSRI drugs and the effect lasts so much longer after you have stayed off them. Making decisions anytime during or after these drugs will always be suspect. I have learned the hard way and am paying for my mistakes. Only direct therapy helps me with smaller doses of drugs. this helps me look within. I hope this helps you to see before you do things that you regret. Peace be with you.

July 13, 2010 at 3:43 pm
(104) Marjorie Onil says:

Wow….some people just seem to seek attention! Darling Claudia, your post is numbered 101, Girl didja read the 100 above your comment or are you only trying to convince that we all wrong, girl? I betcha a handfull of dollars that you messin if you takin a splitsville decision only 4 weeks after yous of ‘em….feel unemotional, cold, reckless, already in a affair while before your break, feel u can climb the mountains and hump any man you want? yes? then Bingo! you headed for a crashlanding huney. Check em critters like us, messin with our minds on some SSRI stories online. We pop ‘em, we break ‘em. In my36 years, been a good girl, 3 years on SSRI and have turned into a hoe. Can feel empty. My shrink educates me and I see the difference. My personality has twisted itself and hard to recall my ol’self but I sure miss me.

July 15, 2010 at 1:21 am
(105) BJL-82 says:

“Even I am separating from my partner, but I do not want to take the relationship any longer….and for the first time I could open my mouth and voice it…”

I understand sometimes people stay in relationships despite wanting to leave but do you ever wonder that the drug made the situation unpleasant?

While its true that not everyone who takes anti-depressants will become emotionally numb or fall out of love, but it is a common occurrence. Cause that’s what these drugs are designed to do, keep you from feeling.

July 17, 2010 at 5:50 am
(106) Cherry1972 says:

It is sad to recognise myself as this hollow and shallow person that I have become. The pills have made me an insensitive human being where I have not even spared my 8 year old niece (who was born in front of me) when I suggested to my sister and her bf to put her up for adoption. I lost my only family that I ever had, after my bf, when they asked me to move out.I live in a cheap downtown flat and she (Karen-my little sis-I love her so) is the only one who has helped me realise the change I have gone thru since Prozac came into my life. I now have a shrink who has a more holistic approach and I refuse to take the pill, coz, I hope to hobble back somehow and become a feeling human being somehow.

July 18, 2010 at 1:20 pm
(107) Percy says:

How can a pill made from chemicals, mix with other chemicals in our brain and not do anything?

Two of my closest mates have done themselves in with AD’s.All for the lookout of ‘happiness’ and to ‘only cope’ with it.Turned themselves into zombies, unfeeling, unthinking party animals, their master’s degrees left undone. A year back they had a future, today there is none left.

It is sad to see them alone, cut away, believing that what they did/do is ok as long as they are ‘happy’.

Unpaid loans, broken relationships, hurt partners & parents are all they have left around them and they are ‘happy’ amongst this emotional ‘katrina’ that they have wreaked unto their surroundings.

I have tried because I owed it to them (been together since high school-they were not like this) but have drained myself. I have been to therapists myself but have walked out on a couple when a pill was prescribed in the very first few sessions to ‘come back when I feel better’.

Why would I go back when I feel better? and that’s where my buddies have landed themselves, ‘feeling better’!

Thanks but no thanks

July 26, 2010 at 7:08 am
(108) AL says:

I am so glad I found this article and all your comments.

I have suffered from anxiety and depression and self harm all my life, I am 31 now. Regardless of the depression I was very passionate , felt love and a healthy sex drive. My depression got bad and I finally started on Effexor for about 3 years. A year into I met my boyfriend, it was fine at first but I never felt that in love feeling I would feel when I had met someone before. If I had not been on the pills I know I would of. We barely had sex and I felt comepletely numb. I carried on with the pills for about abother 2 years and finally came off. 3 years on and I pretty much feel the same, I feel pretty emotionless still and worse still my depression has come back and I feel worse then ever.

So I feel in a cycle of despair. I feel the pills have left a lasting effect on me by leaving me emotionally numb. Plus the depression and anxiety is worse so I feel emotionally numb by that.

I know deep down I love my boyfriend. He is so supportive to me and does not pressure me. We are lucky as we do have so much else in common and get along well (apart from my depression).

Effexor help me with the depression but the side effects were too much.

Is it possible that even once you are off the medication it can still leave an affect on you emotionally. I feel so dead inside. :(

July 26, 2010 at 1:10 pm
(109) BJL-83 says:

It can have a lasting effect from what I’ve read, some people have been off the medication for 10+ years and feel some residual effects (psychosomatic or real I do not know, but they claim to have them).

There are some supplements you can take, try going to paxilprogress and talking to those people, a lot of information and helpful people.

July 31, 2010 at 8:04 pm
(110) jmbw says:

wow … im so pleased ive found this sight. Ive been on prozac for about six months and wondered what was happening to me. I feel empty – devoid of any feelings or emotions. Hollow and lifeless… I know i love my boyfriend but dont know how to love him anymore. I need to get off this medication before it ruins my relationship completely. I just hope he can understand what’s been happening to me and hope he will read this sight.

August 1, 2010 at 2:15 am
(111) thomas says:

my girlfriend of over 7 years decided around week 3 that she no longer was “in love” with me. i found one forum, but that didn’t impress her much, she chose to focus on those who said they were in “unhealthy” relationships.

we were so very close, around each other a lot, and had time to talk. after a few weeks on lexapro, she claimed that my talking to her got on her nerves. she accused me of not listening to her when i used to always praise her contributions.

my mother passed, 9 months later i was even more appreciative of her, and felt that i was deeper in love with her than anyone in my 40 years. because of the timing of my mother’s passing, she claimed that i started to smother her and she “couldn’t be my everything”. all the while, i was showing my deeper love for her by telling her how much i appreciate her. the more i expressed my love for her, the more she started to back away.

after over 7 years of knowing each other, having small fights in the past that were resolved and then no fights when i lost a loved one and appreciated just having a partner that i love by my side, she said she still loved me but was no longer “in love” with me.

she planned poorly, getting a “soon as possible” plane ticket once a long distance friend invited her. she failed to get a better price, or just wait for money she knew was coming in. instead, she spent everything for the ticket, forcing her to depend even more on this person that she can’t live with suddenly. she needed me to ship items ahead of time, and she couldn’t wait for a flight from a closer airport. she had to fly out of town from over an hour away. she failed to consider the possibility that there were vehicle problems because she had stopped listening.

i’m not a “relationship expert”, but this was not rational behavior, and i had no idea what to do but just ship stuff and bring her at great effort to her destination. online friends who had no idea of what’s going on were quick to provide an escape, assuming that i must have done something horrible if she suddenly wanted to leave so badly.

i do not believe that this was coincidence, or that there were deeper relationship issues. instead of having any kind of talk about problems she was having, she suddenly stated her intention to leave immediately. i even asked her if she thought that over 5 years of saying “i love you” back and forth made it worth the effort of “counseling”?

so, i’m pretty cheesed, and thought i would put in my .02. I see the woman I love take a pill for three weeks and suddenly she can’t stand the things that she once admired. I fell deeper in love, expressing my gratitude for the things that I might have once thought were “quirks”. I truly valued her and never made her think otherwise.

This sudden and unexpected change in personality was devastating to me. I will never recommend SSRI’s that are so casually prescribed. I felt like this person taught me how to love and it was taken away suddenly and unexpectedly by the last person I ever suspected.

thanks for inspiring me to blog about it myself and get it out of my system.

August 1, 2010 at 2:28 am
(112) BJL-83 says:

jmbw,

It’s nice that you understand your medication may be the cause of your feelings. You may want to look into weening methods if you do wish to discontinue use.

There are some websites you can find for support and information through the process.

Best of luck.

August 13, 2010 at 4:00 am
(113) Burt says:

There are love stories brought to such abrupt ends with chemicals that it seems tough to stay up with the destruction. It seemed a switch was turned off in my ex-wife’s heart and mind, 18 years into our marriage, 3 kids and a great life.

A wife who was caring and soft, shy but strong, enjoyed the depth of our relationship, educated and cultured has turned into an demonic, self destructive, cold and selfish man eater.

Prescribed SSRI or SNRI to help her mild depression by an onset of menopause,she had taken the same for almost 2 years and the effects of which my kids and me are going to suffer our lifetimes.

While on these pills, she turned into an ogre who snapped, kicked and screamed for no reason, over reacted, turning uncaring (even to our youngest 4 year old boy). She took her time off and involved herself into things that she ‘enjoyed’.

She got hooked into the PS and then the internet with MySpace and other social networking sites. That’s when we lost her. Our eldest daughter came across details of my wife’s surfing history on the family PC and found her chatting up young guys, visiting nude pictures of them and even her visits to cyber sex rooms. This was about the time, when she had already given up her pills (she had started putting on weight and got some twitches). She had got off them with consultation from some gym trainer and decided that she no more needs them as she was ‘feeling good’.

Today our eldest daughter has moved out (she got lucky) with her best pal, refuses to acknowledge Ma and only visits me at work. Now divorced I sit and look after our kids while my wife roams the city, oblivious to the havoc she has wreaked on all of us.

I visit our shrink (we still have the same contacts) and she has asked my wife to see someone else for medical help. The shrink has known us too long and cannot help her anymore, coz she bursts into tears when my ex visits. She is a ‘use & throw’ person in our neighborhood. My kids and me keep in touch as they still need a mother but even they know this is not the same woman they knew as their Ma. Won’t be long before they give up on her too.

Sadly I have great memories of a good life that was.

We have no idea where this ends but have a sure idea when this began. Will post again at a later stage.

August 16, 2010 at 10:49 pm
(114) dmp says:

I want to thank everyone who posted here for sharing their story. Threads like this one may literally have saved my relationship today and I have a hard time thinking of anything I’m more grateful for. For those of you struggling with this issue interpretation does matter I think so get the truth out there. The more people who speak up the more easily it is to convince someone that what their feeling may be more a problem with their medication then their loved one.

August 18, 2010 at 4:10 pm
(115) Scout says:

I’ve suffered from depression for many years, and have been off and on meds for a long time. Because of side effects, I always come off them. I used to self-medicate with pills and alcohol, and now that I have been abstinent for several years, I feel ready to try living without meds yet again. I can’t believe how emotionally numb I have become. I feel nothing. I go to work, I come home, I hole myself in my room, I go to sleep. That’s it. I don’t socialize, and I find it painful to be with people. I am sexually dead. I am single, attractive woman who has zero interest in men. I’m still experiencing depression, so I wonder why I’m taking this bloody med in the first place. I’d rather stop and experience a full range of emotions. I take a mood stabilizer (for bipolar II) and hope that it’s enough to keep me stable. I’ve just stopped taking my antipsychotic and the withdrawals are finished. Now I’ve begun tapering from the Lexapro. I’ll post my progress as I go. I’m glad to have found this forum.

August 27, 2010 at 11:55 pm
(116) Scout says:

I’ve been off the Lex for about a week now and the side effects have been terrible. I’ve been dizzy, nauseated, irritable, and the emotions have begun to surface. I’m weepy, and now I’m depressed and feeling suicidal. I keep reminding myself (hoping and praying really) that these feelings are temporary. I have lots of support and will get myself to the ER if the symptoms worsen. If anyone else has been through this, please post! I need to know that this won’t last forever!

August 28, 2010 at 2:56 am
(117) BJL-1983 says:

Scout – How did you stop taking Lexapro? Did you go cold turkey or slowly ween yourself off the medication?

I’m not sure how this website tolerates advertising to other websites but a post on paxil progress would be good for you. Just search it on google, there are plenty of people who have done or in the process of doing what you are doing now.

But yes, you will get better over time, best of luck.

September 7, 2010 at 2:01 pm
(118) Me says:

My husband was suffering from a very bad bout of depression, lasted from Nov 08 to Aug 09, third lot of antidepressants worked, cymbalta 60mgs OD. Beginning of Oct 09 told me that he was leaving….we told our son…worst thing I ever had to do in my life…did’nt knock a bat off the ex though. He still tells me that he loves me but not ”in love” with me. I dont know who this new person is. The only emotion I ever see him displaying is anger. I firmly believe that Cymbalta has cost me my marriage…….. :-(

September 12, 2010 at 10:51 pm
(119) Scout says:

BJL, I weaned myself off the Lex over a 2-3 wk period, going from 5 to 2.5 mgs then half of that, to just a tiny chip, then down to nothing. The depression and suicidality finally got so bad I had to see my PCP and go on Celexa. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I’m still taking a mood stabilizer in conjunction with the Celexa. It’s been about 8 days on the AD and I’m beginning to feel better.
Last year, I stopped taking Paxil cold turkey and was hospitalized for three days because of sudden suicidality. I didn’t know how dangerous it was to go c/t off Paxil.

September 13, 2010 at 12:03 pm
(120) BJL-83 says:

Scout,

I have to warn off the start that I am not a medical professional so take what I say how you will.

If you are going to come off the medication, be sure to go incredibly slow, look up the information you can about your medication. Since you were on such a low dose I assume Lexapro is effective at low doses. Instead of thinking 2.5 mgs isn’t a a bad drop, think of it as a 50 percent effectiveness drop. That is incredibly high for a taper.

The best thing I can suggest to you is to go incredibly slow, drop your dosage just a little bit at a time and wait a couple weeks for any reactions, if you seem fine, drop it a little bit more.

There really is no taper schedule but I’d suggest going slow enough to were you wont feel a need for an increase in dosage.

Have a good one.

September 13, 2010 at 7:27 pm
(121) Daniel says:

I ‘Ve been off vanlafaxine now for about a month and i feel that the love for my girlfriend is growing stronger by every day. First i didn’t really know if it was love and it scared the HELL out of me. I came by this site and directly i understood what whas going on. i was on 225 mg effexor and i tapered down my dose from 225 to 150 in like 3 days and then tapered down to 75 mg in like 2 days and then finally 0 mg. A little nausea the first days and a great urge for sleep was the initial withdrawalsymptoms. Brainzaps when i looked from side to side, but nothing brutal. I’ve eaten this crap for about a year and it was no match for me to quit. I felt more and more alive each day and that’s the important thing. The government want you to take this kind of meds, because it makes you more or less coldhearted or cold when it comes to love. It’s exactly what they want. I hope that if you read this and you are on ssri/snri today, you’ll atleast try to start tapering your dose tomorrow, and i wish you all the luck i can,,

October 6, 2010 at 10:01 am
(122) Anne says:

I am 40 years old and all my adult life I suffer from something called PMDD, and also depression, and anxiety. I met my boyfriend in July of 2006, and when I saw him the first time I knew he was going to be the love of my life. From there on it was perfect most of the time except for when I had episodes. So I went to my doctor in April 2008 and she precribed Effexor 75 mg, as soon as I started taken the meds I felt instantly better no more PMDD, depression or anxiety, but I had no more libido, nothing! Having sex with my boyfriend was makeing me sick that I had to, and now I am not sure if I love him anymore or not. This is the guy of my dreams for 2 years and now nothing. So I decided to go see my doctor and get off the medication completely. I have lowered my dose of Effexor to half. So far no difference but I really hope my feelings for him come back. He is the best thing that happened to me I know that in my mind but my body does not react. Thanks for reading I will keep you posted on what happens.

November 1, 2010 at 10:40 am
(123) Giselle says:

I actually wrote to Helen Fisher a few years ago to complain about her research about SSRIs and love.

I was insulted by the opinion that people on SSRIs can’t fall in love. I have been on SSRIs for 16 years and have fallen in love on them and stayed in love on them. I also have no problems with orgasms.

In fact the times I tried to stop taking Zoloft caused sexual dysfunction. This was because I was so anxious I couldn’t relax enough to enjoy sex. I was also so irritable I nearly drove my boyfriend away.

Before starting Zoloft I definitely had issues with obsessive crushes on people. That wasn’t healthy love but rather a sick, all-consuming obsession. If that is what Helen Fisher means by love, then she can keep it!

November 8, 2010 at 8:05 pm
(124) BJL-83 says:

Giselle -

While it’s good you haven’t been effected in a negatively light, you are also displaying some of the symptoms. A certain level of aggressiveness and inability to see beyond yourself (selfishness).

Certainly you’d have to understand the problem of anecdotal evidence. Simply because it didnt effect you in a certain way doesn’t mean it won’t effect someone else in a different way.

Not to mention, despite your attempts to say she is wrong, you say she is right. You stated that you had an “all consuming obsession” type of love before you took an SSRI, and because you are on an SSRI it dampens the effect of love for you (in your case, you see this as good).

But if you accept the fact that SSRIs can dampen the way you feel love, you must accept that people who dont experience an all consuming love would also have the way they feel love dampened, perhaps so much it wouldn’t even register.

Have a good one Giselle, I’m glad things are working for you.

December 3, 2010 at 5:32 pm
(125) James says:

I haven’t seen any mention of these drugs being used intermittently, as approved by the FDA for PMDD. Has anyone tried that? If so, please share your experiences with us!

January 12, 2011 at 9:45 am
(126) nans says:

everytime i changed my anti depressants i fall out of love and i fell in love with different person again…its very confusing i was not sure anymore if this medicine would make me feel in love with someone or is just me?do anyone here same experience like this?

January 22, 2011 at 4:31 pm
(127) jboy says:

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone that has shared their stories…

this is helping me get through probably the roughest time of my life. Good luck to everyone else out there, because I know I need it.

January 23, 2011 at 1:12 pm
(128) Dan says:

I took Citalopram 60mg a day for over 2 years and once i stopped i could still not acheive orgasm and had no emotion or feelings for a good 10-12 months.

I only found out and understand why i felt and functioned the way i did very recently. Before i just thought it was simply my depression and anxiety. The worse part of all this is my girlfriend has been suffering from anxiety at work so i told her about citalopram and how it helped me. And since she’s been taking it all her feelings for me have stopped and she wont even talk to me anymore. Weve had our problems but nobody can change so drastically in the space of 2 weeks it’s just not possible. We have been in love and happy for 3 years and it seems to all have ended so quickly

I really wish i found this article and others ive read before recommending citalopram for my girlfriends anxiety. I feel like ive killed my own relationship and there’s nothing i can do to fix it :(

February 9, 2011 at 9:15 am
(129) christine says:

I am thankful to everyone who has voiced their own experiences with SSRI’s. It has helped me to carry on knowing that I am not alone in suffering these symptoms of no feelings;emotions. I was on prozac for 2 and a half years. I have been off them for 10 months and I still have no feelings; no love, anger, anxiety, empathy, sympathy, fear or any emotions whatsoever. I have refused to go on any other anti-depressents as I know for sure that these drugs did this to me in the first place; I was always a very sensitive person, who had no trouble in “feeling”. I am currently undergoing some talking therapy, which is proving strange because I don’t actually have anything to talk about (I don’t “feel” anything). There are plans to try CBT, but again, I don’t see how this will help. I don’t know whether I will be “fixed” with time, but I can only hope and pray that I will. I’d rather deal with a whole range of destructive emotions rather than live a half life. I will never trust anything that messes with the brain again. If anyone has recovered from their experience I would be grateful to hear about it. Good luck to everyone.

February 24, 2011 at 10:57 pm
(130) Britney says:

Recently I have entered into a serious relationship and went on an antidepressant. This is not the first time I have taken an antidepressant but it’s been about 2 years since the last time.

My relationship was going so smoothly, even finding a way to orgasm on my antidepressant. I was feeling closer to this man and the strongest connection I’ve ever experienced in a relationship emotionally and physically it is wonderful.

Just days later I woke up feeling empty and that feeling of giddiness thinking of him was gone. Without explanantion, we did not fight, nothing. I just suddenly cannot seem to find that feeling. I know I still love him because when I say it it feels right. But I don’t get that butterfly feeling. This is a fairly new relationship, about 5 months. I am very attracted to him in every aspect but this feeling is making me doubt my feelings.

I am beyond upset and trying to explain it to anyone makes me feel like I’m crazy. I’ve been in serious relationships before, two lasting over 5 years each. So commitment is not a problem. I have never had this happen. Let alone to a man I actually started feeling I could spend my life with.

I hope it comes back because he is everything I have always wanted, the kind of guy that only comes along once.

March 31, 2011 at 5:32 pm
(131) anon says:

First of all, love relationships aren’t all the same. It’s not really a feeling. Love has a lot to do with the unique psychological needs of each person and complex relationship dynamics. So anything you take that is going to mess with your mood and the way you think is necessarily going to mess with those needs and dynamics in some way. So you’re left with a choice between the comforts of the old dynamics and love, or whatever benefits there may be to the antidepressants you’re taking.

April 11, 2011 at 6:22 pm
(132) Helpless says:

My wife and I have been together for five and a half years, married for almost four. She was put on antidepressants two years ago it been a struggle for the both of us if come to terms with the loss of feelings both sexual and emotional. I’ve been there and tried to be the best husband by supporting her and understanding the side effects. She now wants to leave me cause she said that she no longer feels the way she used to about us. I showed her articles online how the meds affects those feelings but she is made her mind up. Please help we had a wonderful marriage till things from her childhood made her depressed.

April 17, 2011 at 6:18 pm
(133) Me says:

Dear Helpless,
Apt name as that’s exactly how you feel when these drugs take over your loved one. Sorry, but your wife is not going to understand you on feelings right now as she is under the influence of mood altering drugs. She is probably detached from her emotions as was my husband……but what can you do? demand that they stop taking them when their doctor says they must?? My heart goes out to you, my only advice is let her go and take care of you. You have no control, only over yourself……mind you. x

April 19, 2011 at 7:31 pm
(134) Josh Carney says:

My wife started citalopram and within 12 weeks filed for divorce. She went from a loving caring person to a selfish, blaming, manic, crazy woman who I didn’t reckognize. She is so far removed from who she was before the drug that her own son cant even believe it. She went off the deep end. Started saying things like we drifted apart, she is in a different place…etc etc etc…..Started talking about me to other people…..hasn’t cried in 7 months…was very emotional and loving…..Sad…this crap should be banned. Period!

April 20, 2011 at 4:43 pm
(135) LilyC says:

Hi my boyfriend suffers from personality disorder and so around Feb of this year he asked to go on Citalopram (he’s been on it before years ago and hated it so god knows why he wanted to try it again). Anyway it was because his anger was coming out since seeing me and he hated that and he was getting violent thoughts etc etc (never violent, just in his head). His love for me has always been apparent and he is so caring. So since he’s been taking it, he’s become calmer, sleeps more, but bit more distant but loving when he’s with me as always. Last time we were together three weeks ago, it was lovely as usual and loving and we spoke in more depth about marriage as we both want that. He then goes home (hates it living where he does, hates the house, hates looking after his stepfather with Parkinsons though only has to cook and pick up his medication, he doesn’t sign on (no motivation) and exists in his room. Anyway, this time, when he gets back we chat a couple of times then out the blue (completely!!) he mails me saying he has no feelings for me and doesn’t want to see me. OK personality disorder can make him rash but not having feelings for me – no way! I’ve researched SSRIs/Celexa/Citalopram since then and have found no end of evidence about it affecting emotion. I sent him the info last week, but he said to his sister about it that he felt if his love was that strong it’d have coped with him being on the medication. Really don’t know if there is any hope for us. I am not happy about this drug’s side effects at all (and very depressed too about it!). He’s not himself now, ok calmer and not angry but having no emotion – not like him he adored me! We were talking of marriage! I can’t and will not give up on the man sorry but he’s worth more than that. But this drug makes me so CROSS!!!

May 1, 2011 at 3:18 pm
(136) Katie says:

too, have a spouse that began taking adderroll ( I knew about) & Prozac, which I didnt until I found bottle. I have witnessed, all of this- before I ever researched that he was acting like a zombie on the adderroll, I can’t believe that he is taking both. We have a new baby together, which suddenly he is questioning is even his. From day I gave birth, he has been absent in our lives emotionally. He went on these drugs a week later & it only increased. I developed PPD & could not stop crying every night b/c of his coldness & detachment, talked about suicide & took some pills, went off the deep end, my on prescribed Zoloft, which I have only taken 3 days & I even felt numb on that so I stopped taking it. Fast forward, he can’t & won’t even deal w/ the emotions in my head b/c he is so self absorbed w/ his(used to be our) work & he has walked out on our new son & me, saying that he doesn’t feel like he can even talk to me, he can’t hug or kiss me & sex was mechanical for him (it felt like) I can feel him slipping away & that’s what he says-I haven’t been happy for a long time, so I can still love you, but don’t have to be together.???We have a month old baby (who is definitely his) & he is being so hurtful , cold & paranoid- staying w/ his family, who obviouslybsuport his walking out on us? I don’t even have any money for diapers, gas, & food. Yet last time we talked, he call me selfish? Used to be so concerned w/ how I felt & caring can any family in their right mind be supportive of their son walking out on his newest son? Doesn’t seem logical or right. Also, if this is truly the way he felt before & now he’s just “standing up for himself,”
it’s his true self & now he’s just beginning to see clearly. And his “family,” who he’s consulting daily is validating all of this by talking about me & us & I’m starting to think that half of what’s being said is nowhere close to reality, they barely know me.

May 1, 2011 at 3:21 pm
(137) Katie says:

(sorry some got cut out) Up for himself,” how is that not selfish, by not listening to the way I have felt for almost 2 months. He has also went straight back to work, not bothered to come see me to barely check on me-was also a c section so hard to mange) found lots of porn(womens profiles) on our work tablet he had while soooo busy at work & also has since gone out & been hitting in other women. It’s like this drug combo gives him a false sense of self, but thinks he being his true self. Does it ever get better& how?

May 15, 2011 at 1:22 pm
(138) Lilith says:

When I look at this page, all I see is an endless stream of comments of people who have lost loved ones due to these medications that obliterate the ability to feel. This saddens me to see this. The drug companies and doctors are over-prescribing these to people without even explaining some of these adverse effects… I mean, there are millions of people on these drugs that alter your brain chemistry, something so fragile and that we know so little about, and they prescribe it for anyone feeling a little bit down! The worst part is, it’s societally accepted and people are convinced that they are “depressed” and need these drugs.

May 24, 2011 at 2:46 pm
(139) Mercedes says:

I been recently diagnosed with bipolar, and I’ve noticed the effects these medications have had on me. They some what make you feel numb, and sort of emotionless at the same time. As far as sexual desire, it sort of numbs that too. Not able to orgasm or just not in the mood to have any sexual contact. I used to be such an emotional and passionate person before I was diagnosed with bipolar, but now I am so numb because of the medications I am taking. I am taking two mood stabilizers saphris (which my doctor is SLOWLY weaning me off of it) and Lamictal. I also take Clonazapan for anxiety which helps a lot. But definitely feel the Saphris screws up my desire to want to have sex-it says on my prescription pamphlet that it’s one of the side effects. It really upsets me because I don’t feel sexy at all. I am a pretty girl and I do have my needs, but how am I supposed to perform if I simply just have no desire too because of these god damn meds. After reading these posts, I really don’t feel so bad. I used to think maybe this is just the new me, but no it’s not-these meds are just numbing me out.

June 30, 2011 at 12:12 pm
(140) Greg says:

This brings tears to my eyes. I was in a relationship of four years. We were madly in love and clung to each other like no other. We experienced true love, which is natural and very healthy. She never could spend more than a few hours without talking to me, and when I left for a trip she called every second of the day. She began taking Lexapro and it completely DESTROYED our relationship. She has all single friends, and that made matters eve worse. She was instantaneously convinced that we were unhealthy, that I was too lovey, that she wasn’t in love. After experiencing 4 years of passion, sharing, and caring, she instantaneously ended it within a few seconds because she “didn’t care”. She called me and told me this randomly when I was at work…after I had found her a new job and much more.

This completely floored me and I literally walked outside and was pleading with her in the middle of the streets, in utter disarray. My love, the one who told me I ” you are mine forever” now didn’t want to know me. She has turned on me and blocked all forms of communication although we were about to get married! Lexapro ruined my life! Part of my soul left with that woman and Ill never get that back. IS there anyone who can offer a few suggestions?

July 3, 2011 at 2:39 am
(141) JLS-83 says:

I can offer a few suggestions, you may not like them though.

1. Find a hobby to get your mind off the situation. Something towards self-betterment and some self-efficacy is great (working out, learn a new language, take up painting)

2. Cut all ties, if you find yourself thinking about her do something else, if you find yourself thinking she’ll be back remind yourself how she left, remember those last few weeks not those first few months.

3. Realise that this isn’t her, whether we as people, people who trust doctors, want to admit it or not but there are people out there who want to make a dollar and will put you in harm’s way to do so. These drugs alter our brain chemistry, a brain chemistry that define how you feel, what you feel, how you react and how hard you think about something, in essence they change you.

You can’t make her do anything, it sucks, it does, I wont lie and say I know exactly what you feel but I’ve been along similar lines. But there isn’t anything you can do to change her mind and get her back, so you get to make a choice, wallow in self-pity and do your best to move on and decide what you want to do if she ever comes back.

July 8, 2011 at 7:05 pm
(142) Greg Hollis says:

Thank you JLS. It is just mind blowing that all of this has happened after four years of intense love. I have had to realize that this is not her at all and she is heavily under the influence. She calls me only when she is madly drunk ( while taking Lexapro) and for some reason tells me that she doesn’t like herself and is trying to convince herself that she doesn’t love me still. She gave all of the displays of serious side effects and after I told the doctor she threatened to call the police on me if I called her ever again! These drugs are so powerful its amazing. We literally planned to have kids this time last month!

So yes, I can’t get my feelings hurt because this isn’t her at all. She is now a wild, party-crazed, alcoholic who sleeps around and drinks herself to sleep every other day. She was once a Nursing student who graduated with honors and was on track to become a nurse practitioner this year. She doesn’t care anymore and traded in her Nurse job opportunities here in TX for a lousy job at the YMCA working as a pool attendant so she could party more.

Here is the most amazing part; her doctor only put her on these meds because she felt a bit down about not finding a job, that’s it! No clinical signs of anything. These doctors don’t have a clue at all and are ruining lives while getting paid. So thank you very much. It hurts so much, but I have to move on before it effects my studies as a Medical Student. I have to find a sense of humor because if not it would drive me insane. I have never told her how much I have loved her before and now I realize that I was talking to a zombie.

Thank you very much again.

August 13, 2011 at 6:18 pm
(143) Mr R L says:

Well I kind of fell in love with a girl I once lived with (ten years ago now). Anyway, I lived with her for 9 months and during that time I fell in love with her.

After she left the house that we shared for 9 months I told her I was in love with her. For the next few weeks and months I called her on several occasions, after one call she told me she did not want me to call her again and that she was seeing her ex boyfriend again.

At this point I was devastated and slipped into a deep depression. My mother ended up having to pick me up and move me to her house (I was 23 at the time) as I could not do anything. I mean I could not cook for myself and I could not look for employment. Anyway, my mother made me see a doctor and take anti-depressants. After taking them I moved back to near where I lived before and started re-living my old life as if nothing had happened. Guess what then happened… the girl that I fell in love with was single again (or so I had worked out) her friend was calling me up a few months later trying to bully me to go visit her and I had none of it. I was three months into taking the anti-depressant drug at this stage (SSRI – Prozac).

I basically decided to myself that I did not want this girl anymore. But I am wondering now if I would have acted differently if I had not taken the drug. I think I would have still been in my bedroom feeling ill, but could that have saved my relationship with her?

September 3, 2011 at 8:26 am
(144) JLS-83 says:

Mr R L,

There really is no way to tell what would have happened in a certain situation that didn’t happen.

However your feelings for this girl could have been curbed by the anti-depressant. I know personally that I still have feelings for every girl I ever dated. Not intense lovey dovey feelings you get in a relationship but just a slight feeling that slightly pulls the heart strings that let me know this person was a major part of my life.

So is it possible? Yes. I’m going to outright say they prevented it. No. Did the drug prevent you from feeling the same way for the girl? Probably.

October 31, 2011 at 7:22 am
(145) daniel says:

Antidepressant drugs after 3 attempts drove me to liquor which is contra indicated.Those pills made me feel like a vegetable. My faith and psychotherapy get me through. i also take one strong benzo when i wake up to cast the anxiety aside.Positive cognition and golf is my other crutch.Good luck to you good people coping on those drugs which was a living hell when i used it.And my anxiety depression is hereditary to complicate the issue. We are still fortunate,have a good look at others with much more debilitating diseases Iam a 60 young SouthAfrican. DCF

November 15, 2011 at 10:24 pm
(146) Kaitlin says:

To all of you who have posted, thank you. It is extremely comforting to hear that other peoples stories are pretty identical to my own…. I wish there was something us people on the other side could do… because it seems the more I push the more he moves farther away… I hope that letting him find the answer on his own works… I tried showing him articles and sites like this and he became really angry and i don’t really know if he even read them… But all we can do is try to educate them… And pray that they will see their way back… I know all of us would go to the end of the earth to help if we could… but most of us cant. I hate this. A week before he told me all the things that everyone else has basically said, we were planning our spring break together and a weekend get-away. We also talked about marriage a lot… for the past two years actually… and poof he has been taken over by a monster…..

November 26, 2011 at 3:17 am
(147) mark says:

my partner of 10 years and I look like we are seperating for most of our relationship she has been on antidepressants including SSRIs. We have been through a lot together and I love her dearly but she has completely switched off towards me.
Reading a lot of the comments on this site has given me some perspective, the drugs may or may not be a factor but we are such good friends that I feel they must be playing a significant role in her feelings.
Her medication has been changed a lot over the last 18 months it only now that i have really looked into it. It is porbably too late and I am not sure who my partner is anymore which bit is the drugs and which bit is her.

November 29, 2011 at 8:01 am
(148) Jay says:

A bit about me, 24 yr old male, I was diagnosed with SAD about 15 months ago and have been on a very high dose of a SSRI and it isn’t doing alot for my anxiety. I have never been with anyone before due to what i thought was my anxiety, I have had numorus crushes on girls but there was this one girl i was really intrested in but never had the courage to ask her out. Resently we have been in contact with each other and it is quite obvious that she likes me. But since I have been on the pills I feel as though i have lost all feelings that I had for her before. It is realy anoying because she is so perfect but i don’t feeling anything for her and its killing me. I am also starting to think i am gay because i seem to feel more feelings around men then i do women that i never really had before. I dont know what i am doing anymore.

December 4, 2011 at 3:35 am
(149) gary says:

Im so glad i found this site. My wife has been on Citalopram for nearly 10 years and in all that time i have found her to be numb to my love and affection. I dont know if it is the drug as she says she fell out of love with me more than 5 years ago. I dont know if im looking for an excuse or just the simple fact that people do fall out of love. she still has love and affection for our children and our pets but says she doesnt have that”in love” feeling towards me. We have rearly broken up a few times , firstly about 5 years ago, 1 year ago and are again on the verge of doing so again. Do anyone have any guidence, advice or have been in a silmilar position. I have shown her this site but she says that the blogs people have left bear no resemblance to her situation. I have however persuaded her to consult her doctor. Would love some feedback

December 13, 2011 at 12:27 am
(150) Victoria says:

My girlfriend had this problem. Or at least that’s what her mom and I believed. She “fell out of love” with me 3 times in the course of the first 6 months of our relationship or so, but each time she would realize it was the lexapro and her feelings would come back a week or 2 after the split. But after we made it past a year she went off the lexapro. I was thrilled! Because I’d always called it the devil pill because I always felt like it kept her from not only being sad, but also from being completely happy. I know that it takes a while for it to fully get out of your system and she eased off it the way she was supposed to, but I was more than dissapointed when it had the opposite affects I was hoping for…. She started to seem more and more detached and eventually broke up with me. Even after breakups she has always been very emotional towards me and has never disconnected herself from me. But she could watch me bawl my eyes out and not shed a tear along with other very in uncharacteristic things on her part. It’s been over 2 months since the breakup now and i know of I said I thought it was because of the lexapro she would just say I’m trying to find an excuse for the situation or something to blame it on. Her mom thinks its related also. I just want to know if it’s a possibility. (she is 18 and I am 20, lesbians) we were very serious, talking about getting married in a few years and planning out how we were going to start a family. We were no fling, even our parents thought we were in it for the long run. She’s the most important thing in the world to me and I’m just looking to make sure this couldn’t be a reasoning being our whole situation.

December 13, 2011 at 9:39 am
(151) JLS-83 says:

Victoria – It’s really hard to say for certain if it’s the pills or not which is causing it.

Did she slowly taper off the dosage or just stop cold turkey? You can look up the information online and find out the half life of the medication it’s self and see how long it takes but even then there is after shocks of the medication that will occur.

Ultimately though without physically knowing her and how she changed before, during and after the pills I cant say for certain if it’s the medication or if she has a borderline personality disorder which causes her to run from commitment.

December 15, 2011 at 5:40 am
(152) Anonymous says:

Gary, when reading your story I thought of myself. I have been on the same Medication for several years and have put my wife through the same thing your wife put you through.

December 15, 2011 at 1:37 pm
(153) gary says:

Anonymous, did you stop reduce or carry on with your medication. What is your relationship like with your wife now. hope youve pulled it back

December 17, 2011 at 5:33 am
(154) Julia says:

Well I never had this happen to me on any SSRI…In fact,I was on Prozac for 8 months when I fell in love again.
I feel,if anything,the Prozac increased my ability to love because I wasn’t so depressed.It also did not effect my sex drive or ability to orgasm.
It may take me a little longer to orgasm,but I still want sex all the time.
Guess I’am the rare exception though judging from these comments.

December 29, 2011 at 9:56 am
(155) Tressy says:

Wow! I have been reading all of your posts and things are starting to make sense to me. My best friend suffers from GAD and has been on SSRIs for years now but recently switched to Zoloft from Lexapro. He had felt that Lexapro was not helping at all and asked for a review on his meds. But since going on Zoloft, he has been so cold and indifferent. He barely talks to me anymore, and things that should cause a natural reaction of empathy from him he treats like any other thing.

I had called him the other day distraught because my brother was arrested and in jail for a misunderstanding, and he told me to leave him there and not bail him out to teach him a lesson. Then when i dropped off his christmas present at his front desk, he did not acknowledge receipt until i asked him if he got it, then all I got was a text back saying “i feel bad you did this but it was thoughtful”…not even a Thank you! But worst yet when my grandfather passed away two days before xmas and I told him, he did not even offer an I’m sorry for your loss…all he said was “you’re kidding” I don’t much about SSRIs but can they really dramatically change someone from a caring empathetic individual to this? At first I just thought that he was just tired of being friends and wanted to end the friendship…but even that doesn’t explain the coldness. The sad part is that I think he is feeling much better about his anxiety than ever before…but in turn, I lost my best friend. Catch 22 indeed…but what matters is that he is happy with himself..at least I hope.

December 30, 2011 at 7:38 pm
(156) gary says:

My second blog ob here but i get so much support and hope from reading about other peoples experience with these aweful drugs. my wife is reluctantly reducing her dosage but as so many people have said, feels as if its pointless and that her love for me will not return. she is acting more and more like a single person and has no interest in spending any time with me whatsoever. of course im hoping things will change when she is completely free of her citolapram or am i being too ambitious. looking forward to more feedback

December 30, 2011 at 11:00 pm
(157) Rita says:

I don’t know whether to be happy or sad to find this site. My husband has been on xanax and an antidepressant for almost 3 yrs, turned into a different person, became very emotionally withdrawn and told me 5 months that he loves me but isn’t “in love” with me anymore. He left me and our 4 kids almost 3 months ago. Our life now is an absolute nightmare – I can’t imagine our life without him. He is seeing a dr. to taper off the xanax, but now I see the antidep may be a big part of the problem also. We have had a great, strong marriage…up until the point he started taking the meds. I never had a clue until a few months ago what the real problem could be. This has completely devastated me and our kids.

January 5, 2012 at 10:06 pm
(158) Michele says:

My boyfriend started taking medication a few months after we began dating. He seemed to change. He complained that the medication was not really helping his depression. But I noticed that he seemd to not have a desire for sex. He stopped being the affectionate, warm, caring person that he was. I tried to tell him to see the doctor and try some different medication but he never wanted to discuss it. I gave him some time..didn’t put pressure on him to have sex. He then stated that he felt we were more like friends. When I did try to initiate sex..he would put me off. He then basically ended the relationship because he felt our relationship was just platonic. I thought I was doing the right thing by not pressuring him. Yet he never came around to being sexual and affectionate the way he was before the medication. He went from being totally in love with me to putting me off..not talking…until I finally forced the issue because I noticed all of the changes in him. We broke up recently and he is already looking to date again. I feel that he thinks that maybe he will find someone out there that excites him. Yet I feel he is mistaken because he isn’t really feeling anything on his medication. We had a wonderful relationship until he started taking meds. I just don’t see how that could all disappear.

January 19, 2012 at 11:40 am
(159) R.G says:

My wife has changed dramatically since she’s been on prozac. She told me she has feelings for a coworker, that she doesn’t have much faith in our marriage and that she loves me but isn’t in love with me. I don’t feel much from her, I just feel like a friend. I feel like she is indifferent whether I’m present or not. Every second away from her is absolutely killing me. She is my whole life. I want the wife that used to love me more than anything, the one that couldn’t stand to be away from me. We do have issues that we have both successfully been working on. I felt things getting better but every time she gets on an SSRI, our marriage falls apart. I have never been this sad. It’s interesting to see that I’m not alone. I don’t know what to do. I feel broken.

January 20, 2012 at 7:00 pm
(160) L.S says:

I just lost my feonsay.
She had been on antidepressant for 2-3 months.
And it ended just like it did with all of you.

I went home for a few days.
When I was leaving, she came running from the cinema just to say goodbye one more time before my train left. She showed me so much love that day.
But when I got back,she said that she didn’t like me, that I annoyed her,and that she didn’t love me.

She said that she still cared about me, still loved me as a friend, but she had no romantic feelings for me.
She even said that if she still had feelings for me, she definitely would want to try to fix things. But the feelings were gone. within four days!

It’s not like I did something awful, i messed up a couple of times, but i thought we would get throug it. I tried as best I could to support her. I moved to a new city whit her, just so she could be with her ​​family and friends, because
she has struggled a lot with depression.

We were so happy together. So happy just to have each other. We just had to get through the tough period she was in.

This doesn’t seem like her at all. And it’s really strange that she lost all her feelings for me so quickly.
She has always been a person who never gives up in relationships. She was determined to stay, as long as her partner didn’t treated her very cruelly. REALLY cruelly!

I think those pills are making her believe that she doesn’t love me anymore.
I can’t give up! All I hope for, is that she gets back her feelings for me, when she stops taking those pills.

But I was wondering if any one here had some advice. Like, things I should or should not do.
And most of all, I was wondering if there is anyone out there who got ther partner back? Did the feelings return after he/she stoped taking the pills?

I don’t know what to do.
And you are the only one’s I know who have had anny experience with this.

e-mail me if you want.
lilliansindborg@hotmail.com

February 3, 2012 at 3:01 am
(161) Zach M. says:

I feel the same as everybody on this page. I took 40mg of prozac for 6 years. I have been off them for 7 months now. Does ANYBODY have experience regaining their feelings to a before-med-state after discontinuation from long-term use of SSRIs??? I want to be normal again :( .

February 14, 2012 at 4:25 pm
(162) Angel says:

After 2 years I had to say good bye to my boyfriend. He went on paxil and quickly became cold. He cut down from 40mg to 20 and was a little better and seemed happy. Then he went up some days to 80mg.
It was as though a light blew out in him. He was the sweetest, most lovable passionate man I ever knew. All that went away. He lost all empathy and he became mean. He was never mean!
I am in a daze from heart ache.
He is oblivious to how he is now and there was no talking to him, there is no one home anymore. It is as though his spirit left. Blank eyes.
I can’t sleep at night, my mind is racing and heart is hurting. I have giving up on ever seeing him again. The man I knew died.

March 6, 2012 at 1:04 am
(163) Saroya says:

I have been taking countless pills for anxiety/depression/bipolar… pretty much everything since I was twelve. I am now 20.. I have taken celexa, depakote, seroquel, clozapam and so many more. I have tapered off of all of them, most recently the seroquel, about 3 months ago because they made me sick, sleepy, numb, and I just feel are super unhealthy, nothing should numb all emotions. I started seeing someone about two years ago, just after I had a horrible break up with my first boyfriend (very unhealthy relationship.) It wasnt serious between me and my current boyfriend for a year, maybe even more, which I loved because I needed time to be happy again and explore myself, but I fell in love with him pretty quickly, because he is such an amazing person and we have been pretty much happy.

March 6, 2012 at 1:04 am
(164) Saroya says:

He saw how crazy the seroquel made me, and put up through my withdrawals and craziness as I got off of them. Its been about three months (the withdrawals stopped within a month after my last dose), and I am depressed. Not anything crazy but I am not happy with anything in my life, and am starting to question whether or not I really am in love with my boyfriend.
He is so good to me, and when we are together he makes happy and laugh, but all of a sudden I just realized I might not be in love with him. This is very upsetting after he drove two hours when he knew I had a stressful day to make me dinner, and stay the night, before going home to work. I am his world, and I know he loves me, I am just not sure whether I just stopped having feelings for him naturally or I am just depressed. Thinking about it just makes me more depressed. I have no idea what is going on, I dont know whether it’s the depression/ anxiety making me feel this way towards him/the world or its me just falling out of love with him, which I had no idea that could even happen, but it’s so scary. Please help, I know every one is different, but I need guidance, and I will never go back on prescription medication again.

(sorry this got cut off)

March 23, 2012 at 1:07 am
(165) Earlene Ruddle says:

Hi there, i just needed to drop you a line to say that i thoroughly enjoyed this detailed post of yours, I have subscribed to your RSS feeds and have skimmed a few of your posts before but this one really stood out for me. I know that I am just a stranger to you but I figured you might appreciate the admiration Take care and keep blogging.

March 24, 2012 at 1:33 am
(166) Autumn says:

Saroya your situation is the same as mine! I was depressed but it got even worse when I got on Zoloft and Cymbalta back in January. It has been a week today since I stopped cold turkey. But just like you I began feeling extremly differerent towards my boyfriend when I started taking anti depressants. Reading online has given me some kind of peace of mind but its still not chasing away this feeling eating inside of me. A feeling that hes not the right man for me. He has been there for me through it all and has also experianced similar feelings on anti depressants when he took them years ago. However no matter how much advice I recieve from him,my family,friends,co workers, AND classmates. This uncertain feeling in my heart wont vanish :( I am waiting for the anti depressants to completly leave me system hoping to gain my passion and loving feelings back to life. But it hasint happened yet and I am not a patient person :( Whenever the uncertain feelings of my relationship enter my mind I immediality feel major anxiety and begin crying. I know I want him in my mind because I refuse to leave to him. I am quite scared to :(

March 25, 2012 at 6:16 pm
(167) Saroya says:

I wish I could tell you it gets better but I still am unsure about my boyfriend. I wish I could just be content but I’m lost. Hopefully things will eventually work out for us.

April 2, 2012 at 2:39 pm
(168) Justsayin says:

Just wondering if there’s another side to this “problem”. Perhaps when one is depressed there is a natural tendency to want to “bond” with another person, rather than feel totally isolated in a depressive state. I wonder if people who are depressed would find it easy to bond with any male or female, out of need. If you’re on an antidepressant than it indicates that your serotonin or dopamine levels are low. Raising them to normal would make you act and feel the same way anyone who’s not on an anti-depressant feels. Has anyone taken a survey of people not on antidepressants, to find out if they may have similar “problems” in a relationship? The fact of the matter is that over 50% of marriages end in divorce. Either because one or both partners want out. Either one or both partners do not feel “love” for the other. In response to all these commenters ; to feel “love” for someone whilst in a state of depression cannot ultimately be true “love”.

April 2, 2012 at 2:54 pm
(169) JustSayin says:

Just wanted to add that I love you all. God is one, the universe is one, we are all one. We are not separate, we are all one. Foremost, let us all be one in strength.

April 2, 2012 at 6:34 pm
(170) Karen says:

How about the older class of antidepressants? They are known as tricyclic antidepressants. Does anyone know why they aren’t prescribed anymore? Would they have less of the negative side effects?

May 1, 2012 at 12:38 pm
(171) cgirl says:

This was an eye opener to me. I recently got dumped by my boyfriend who has issues with ADD and depression. He has been on an SSRI and the scary part is he has been on and off it during the year + we dated. He would forget to take it sometimes or would just run out so be off it for a month or so. After reading this and some of the side effects/experiences with these drugs a lot of things make sense… He would get headaches, he would have trouble sleeping, had a “I don’t care” attitude, and experienced sexual side effects as well. He said he loved me all the time and then after about a month and a half off the meds he went back on them. within about 2 months of taking them again he suddenly decided that he had “no feelings” for me and didn’t love me. He said he “felt nothing” and he wanted to be alone and was happier being alone. This is the same guy that was insecure and said I love you all the time and was afraid of losing me. He acts like he never knew me now…we barely even talk. After talking EVERY day and telling me he loved me everyday and being happy to see me, talk to me, etc…he turned ice cold.
My question is… should I show him this research and articles? I think he should be aware of it…but not sure if I should send it to him. I don’t want him to think I am just trying to get him to love me again. I think it’s important for him to know this for any future relationships. I mean the guy said I was the best girlfriend ever and was very happy with me and then suddenly went cold. That’s just not normal.

May 5, 2012 at 12:07 am
(172) logan says:

Im a 21 year old male with clinical depression. I have been taking Effexor about 3 months now.
I was in what seemed like an endless pit of doom and sadness. I self medicated with my addiction to alcohol, and pain killers. I felt like blowing my brains out without a drug of some kind.
I woke up after a night of me trying to drink myself to death (literally) and went to the doctor. He gave me Effexor 150 mg as a starting dose.
I got off the drugs and alcohol within the first month. The depression disappeared before my eyes. I was euphoric. I went out to parties again. I focused more on my studies. But this new found confidence didnt last long.
Within the 2nd month, I realized Im emotionless. Not happy, not sad, just… there. I felt like all my friendships were just no more connection. Things that made others feel things (slides, roller coasters, kissing, sex) made me feel little to nothing.
Now I dont know what to do. I dont want to quit effexor in fear of sinking back into the pit of depression. But there I at least felt myself. Now I’m numb. I dont know which is better. I just want MYSELF again. My real self. The self that loved, the self that laughed. Not a zombie. But not depressed. I begin to wonder if I will ever be like again.

May 7, 2012 at 9:43 am
(173) Frustrated says:

My husban who persued me 4 years told me i was his everything, walked out on me, his home and his 1 year old daughter. Stating he cant help how he feels, he feels nothing for me and hadnt” been in love” for a long time. He was not willing to try to address the issue he has been on Citalopram for about 4 yrs. his medication was always a touchy subject. He went from being the perfect partner to being uncaring, selfish and self onsessed. He is teying to cut the medication down, but i fear by the time the sude effects wear off and he realises what he has done it will be too late and he will have missed out on being a parent. Does anyone have experience of feeling of love pr regret returning after reducing medication?

May 7, 2012 at 6:57 pm
(174) cgirl says:

Logan,

You should really talk to your doctor about this and try a different medication. I read somewhere that Lexapro is the worst offender of this “emotional blunting’ side effect so I would say DO NOT try that one!

I have recently been told about a natural supplement called SAM-e that helps with Depression. Maybe this is something you can check into? I am sorry, I can’t imagine what it must be like. I can only understand through what I observed with my ex-boyfriend and it is really heartbreaking. He is a bright, intelligent, funny guy, but I fear the Lexapro has turned him into a uncaring, unfeeling zombie. :( I wish you the best.

May 9, 2012 at 10:00 pm
(175) Eric the Whale says:

In the past I was a good writer with creative ideas all the time, but after taking this drug, as time passed, I lost that ability and lost my compassion as well. I saw an article saying that SSRI helps to promote too much serotonin and blocks other chemicals in the brain such as dopamine
http://coachwoot.com/when-should-i-workout

Look at the map, that is exactly what I’m feeling now. Lack of sex drive and easy to feel tired. I know that isn’t me! It consumes my energy!!! I hate it!

Doctors don’t understand this. What they try to do is just to prescribe you drugs and push you to take more drugs or other drugs.
Well, most of them seldom take the drugs they prescribe.
They are mostly machines and won’t help you as much!

Do more exercise! Keep a balanced diet as well as taking some natural supplement to boost your mood. Stay away from these drugs! They are useful in the short term, but they are harmful in the long run!

May 13, 2012 at 7:47 pm
(176) Broken hearted says:

I know the horrible effects of this drug all too well. My girlfriend and I had been together for 2 years. We were an inseparable couple that always treated each other with fairness and respect. We would always do loving things for each other, like maybe a gift here, flowers there. Go out and do fun things as a couple. Sneak an “I love you text,” when we were working. We had talked of kids and marriage and were just as in love from the beginning.

Then she had a situation at work that was causing her stress and panic attacks. She was prescribed 20mg of Citalopram. Within in a few weeks I had already started to notice slight changes. She seemed to be pulling away from me for the first time ever in our relationship. The sex of course went to a crawl, but I knew that would be a side effect. She seemed to not care as much about things. I saw her losing her spunk that made her who she was. The texts stopped, the cuddling stopped, any advances for sex were rejected, and I had to tell her I loved her first to hear her say it. Everything that made her sweet and caring slowly drifted away. After about 3-4 months of the meds, we had a talk. She stated that she had lost the spark and had considered breaking up over me not getting groceries or doing the bed sheets when I was never asked to do any of this. That’s all it would have taken for me to do those things. She said she felt unappreciated. I convinced her I would make the changes and asked that she work on her communication for me so that it never has to get to this point again.

May 13, 2012 at 7:49 pm
(177) Broken hearted says:

2/3

So I finally did some research on the effects of the medication and relationships and was relieved, but also very concerned. I approached her with my findings saying I was concerned for and that maybe these were the reasons why she felt the spark had gone. That was not received well. This was about a month ago. About 3 weeks ago she went to her doctor and they lowered her dose in hopes of getting off of the medication for good. Apparently when I approached her with my findings, she took it as an attack on her and me thinking she was a pill popper. She felt like I was judging her and analyzing her. Anything she said or did she thought I would say it was the pills. About 3 weeks ago she states I need to move out, she needs her space to deal with this, but we aren’t breaking up. She can’t take me “judging” her. I convince her again we can work through this. 2 days later she breaks up with me. She says its not fair for me be treated the way I was being treated; unloved. It ended with us saying how much we both loved each other and still do. We kissed; it ended on a somewhat good note. I ask if we will get back together after she works through this and she states she doesn’t know, she isn’t a psychic

May 13, 2012 at 7:50 pm
(178) Broken hearted says:

3/3

For the first week I ignored her because she wanted her space and I was hurting. Since the breakup almost 2 weeks ago she won’t sleep in the bed at the place and tells me she is going to disassemble it and get her own bed and she does. I told her I wanted to sit down and talk and finalize some things. She agrees. She ends up working later that night and then won’t answer my texts now. She blocked all her stuff on Facebook from me. In all the time I was with her, I had never seen her act like this. She is starting to worry me, I feel she is having withdrawals and doesn’t realize it. She refused to believe the meds had anything to do with the break up already. She won’t talk to her sister who I’m friends with still because she accused her sister of being “on his side”. .

That is my story of how SSRI’s caused me to lose the love of my life and a perfect relationship. I hope that someone sees this and is able to salvage their relationship or go into this medication knowing what might happen and keeping an open line of communication. I hope that once she is off the meds she will come back around and realize what happened. There is so much at our place that I did and I hope those are constant reminders to her of how much she was loved, cared for, and adored.

May 18, 2012 at 3:46 pm
(179) Anon says:

Could you show her this forum, the fact the comments are not just written by heart broken partners, but also people whose perspectives changed once off medication might give her hope that she will feel
Nor mal again?

May 26, 2012 at 5:05 am
(180) confused says:

As is a common theme here, I too get a sense of relief reading these posts. Seems to explain the recent uncaring behavior of my now ex-wife. Same old story line. Near perfect wife and mother seemly overnight became apathetic and self-centered with a strange and destructive personality change. Having noted the possible connection to the ssni medication, now what. I pointed it out to her and got the same response as most of the others above. I was crazy. I was judging. So is there any recourse but to wait for the train wreck to unfold. She has greatly damaged the lives of everyone who ever loved her and doesn’t seem to care. Any ideas. Also has anyone tried to change the anti-depressant prescription patterns in this country. Pills handed out like candy by practitioners with little or know knowledge of depression or medication side effects.

May 26, 2012 at 6:54 am
(181) Tom says:

Thank you for this post. Adding my marriage to the stone heap. Prozac has totally changed my wife of 11 years and not changed any of her depressive behavior. She is surly, short fused, argumentative. she sleeps all the time, or wakes up in the middle of the night and carb loads. She used to be active, but all that stopped about 4 years ago when she committed to prozac. Now she looks like Agnes Trunchbull from the kids movie Matilda, and often acts like that too.
She tells me I am the best lover she ever had, but for me the sex went from bad, boring, worse, to none. Sometimes she is able to get off, sometimes not, of course she blames me for that. I know that I am not at fault though. I am worn out pushing the bull uphill. It is getting harder and harder to resist other women who are interested in me.
Unfortunately I made some kids with her and so I can not just part ways easily. We are going into marriage counseling, For years I have been blaming myself and beating myself up, but now I realize the prozac and the mental illness are the problems, not me. She refuses to use any other treatment besides the prozac — she is not interested in doing CBT.

May 28, 2012 at 12:02 am
(182) butterfly says:

My husband was diagnoised with anxiety / panic attacks over 20 years ago. Tried numerous mess and found xanax worked best for him. We have 2 children and they adore him and we had a very strong marriage built on love and trust.. we were best friends. Many people would say how lucky we were to have such a strong marriage with mutually strong family morals. But 2 years ago his “Dr” changed his medicine to klonopin and within 2 weeks our world was turned upside down. He said he no longer loved me and was looking elsewhere …. he talks to a woman in another state several times a day and even spent valentines with her. He doesn’t consider our kids his valentines anymore. Had separation papers drawn up several months ago. He said he will sign them once he finds a place to live. We all have lost respect for him but he doesn’t. care. Klonopin has turned him into an uncaring selfish coldhearted man. I have spoken to his “Dr” about the changes and his response was. “your family and marriage is not my conce

June 12, 2012 at 5:53 pm
(183) Denise says:

I have the same problem only I am the one with the depression/anxiety and on the medications and have been for 12 years. I sometimes feel powerless to change it and would desperately like to get off these medications for good. The problem is that I do need something as before I was on them, I couldn’t function (didn’t treat the problem for 10 years). However, I can’t take the emotional blunting anymore or the exhaustion and apathy. I too, recognize that I have become more aggressive and more withdrawn. There has got to be a better way.

June 12, 2012 at 10:52 pm
(184) butterfly says:

Thanks for posting Denise. It takes a lot of courage to admit your blunted emotions. If you don’t mind me asking what meds are you on?

June 26, 2012 at 7:35 pm
(185) michael says:

ive been on zoloft for almost 2 months.. ive felt every symptom listed and more. ive experienced intrusive thoughts, anxiety, more depression and only recently cant help but think that i dont love my girlfriend of 3 years anymore. when im sitting around doing nothing.. or if i just wake up i constanly think about it.. having fighting conversations in my head convinsing my self that its not true and its just the zoloft making me feel this way. because my relationship with her is more important than anything if symptoms do get worse i will ask my doctor to prescribe me something to increase dopamine or an alternative. if he suggests that isnt a good idea i will decrease the dose and try to get of anti-depressants. and try st johns wort.. ive read side effects are very minimal compared to normal SSRI’s. ive found if i start to worry about these thoughts of “am i becoming less interested in her” ill stop what im doing and go do something to take my mind off the situation.. if symptoms get very bad i will call her. i feel like hearing her voice helps alot. i explain to her im not feeling well and zoloft is giving me some side effects, she always makes me feel better.

my advise is let your doctor know whats going on.. as their are so many options. if you start to have these thought and feeling.. learn to distract yourself with somthing you enjoy. if symptoms get worse talk to partner and explain that this medication is making you feel different about your relationship and you need their support. best treatment for stress, anxiety and intrusive thoughts is talking about them.. the more you stress about a thought or a feeling the more your anxiety builds up and these feelings and thoughts will persist or even become worse. think about whats more important in your life and work around them. for now i still have faith that the zoloft’s side effects will settle down. so im sticking to 50mg’s daily.

July 3, 2012 at 3:54 pm
(186) Denise says:

Hi there- I have been taking Luvox for the past 5 years or so but before that it was paxil, effexor and prozac (all at different times). I have an appt. tonight to talk to the doctor about these very problems. I will let you all know how it goes….

July 8, 2012 at 8:28 pm
(187) BirdLady says:

This thread has helped me immensly. Im so relieved to have read so many people experiencing what i am. It gives me hope and a validated reasoning to approach this pragmatically. Thank you, everyone.
And dont listen to those who say they dont believe this because they personally havent experienced it. Trust yourself and allow yourself to feel less emotional without worry (as difficult as that is) because you really dont need that extra stress.

Good luck everyone.

July 17, 2012 at 6:19 pm
(188) siiix says:

i have (mis)used Zoloft for this specific reason way before this article , several times after a bad breakup, when i could not handle the pain all i have to do is take Zoloft for a relatively short time (up to 2 weeks) once a day , don’t even need much i usually take 25mg every morning… after a short time the pain is reduced to a manageable level and i stop taking Zoloft … i might add i do NOT have depressions, this is the ONLY reason i ever used Zoloft, and for me it works… at 25mg you do not even have side effects, i experimented with higher dosages it had no additional positive effect on me, but the normal side effects started to kick in… my guess is your body needs a little time to adjust not to be addicted to those chemicals that make you be in love, a higher dosage wont make any difference for this purpose

July 19, 2012 at 11:51 pm
(189) Anonymous says:

I was on SSRIs from age 16 to 26. During those years I had many boyfriends but never could tell if I was in love due to the numbing effects of the antidepressants. Because of this, I ended all those relationships and could never decide who to be with. If I would’ve been off the SSRIs at the time I would have been able to feel in love. I also could never orgasm for those 10 years so couldn’t fully enjoy my youth in this way. I probably would’ve been married by now if it weren’t for the damage the SSRIs did to my love life. The SSRIs also changed my personality-made me over the top happy, loopy/silly, hyperactive, low concentration, daytime fatigue/naps and reduced my intelligence and creativity. Finally at age 26 I got off the SSRIs and can feel in love for the first time in my life. I am now 34 and have been ssri free for 8 years. I have been with my wonderful boyfriend since age 29 and loving every minute of it. I have truly started a second chapter of my life when I got off the ssris. I discovered the real me and my true personality for the first time. I never knew who I was on the ssris. Being on the SSRIs for 10 years was a real set back to my love life. I never got to fully enjoy my youth because of it and would love to go back in time being off the drugs during my youth. I don’t ever want to go back on ssris because of the damage it does to your love life. This info would be useful to Helen Fisher’s studies on ssris and love.

August 16, 2012 at 2:35 pm
(190) Tessa says:

My boyfriend of 9 months starting taking lexapro for GAD about two months ago when we apart for the summer. Up until he began taking lexapro, our relationship was perfect– we never argued, had a great sex life etc. . He was so sweet genuine and caring. Now he has become entirely emotionless and has no sex drive. He just isn’t the same person I fell in love with. He has noticed the sexual side effects but doesn’t realize the emotional ones. I can sit there crying about how his lack of emotion hurts me and he just walks away and doesn’t care. He threatens breaking up for no reason all the time. I know that I have not changed at all. He also has started to drink way too much due to the lowered tolerance from the medicine. I love him so much and I know it is the meds that have changed him. This isn’t the kind of situation where I can walk away, because I know that the way he is acting is not who he truly is. His anxiety was not overwhelming before and I don’t see that lexapro is improving his life in any way. I cannot mention anything about the medicine because he gets so defensive and angry if I attribute anything to the lexapro side effects. Has anyone had any success in showing their partner how the side effects have hurt their relationship? or found a drug with fewer relationship damaging effects? I am so heartbroken and lost. I want the person I fell in love with back and not this cold zombie.

August 25, 2012 at 10:49 am
(191) Pelle says:

I quit Paxil 7 years ago after 11 years with different SSRI (last one Paxil) and still feel like something is wrong in my brain, my libido is lost, feel apathetic and so on, never felt like this before…quit because I felt drugged and like a zombie…dont know what to do, restart with a different SSRI and a low dose?

October 6, 2012 at 1:33 pm
(192) withoutanswers says:

Wow! I am glad I am not the only one who has noticed the damaging affects of SSRIs. Paxal made my husband temporarily infertile (after being off for months the infertility eventualy reversed). Paxal nearly eliminates his sexual desire and totally messes up his ability to perform and enjoy sex (no orgasm, to my knowledge, in several years). After the completion of our family, my husband retured to his preferred dose. He says he needs it to do his job well. Our relationship has not been the same since. I have often wondered about SSRIs blunting emotions as well. Looks like there is something to that as well. SSRIs are clearly a medication that can destroy a marraige. Personaly, I rely on exercise and lots of it to get me feeling better. SSRIs should have a black box warning that they may destroy relationships while giving the user a fake feeling of calm and contentment. I will take raw emotions any day over the blunting of them. SSRIs may help the user, but it can cause depression in the user’s loved ones.

October 7, 2012 at 4:22 am
(193) nels says:

My God! Its true! Six months on citlopram 10mg and I wanted my 30 year marriage to be over! Every little thing about him annoyed me, and this is a loving, smart, capable man. I decided to come off the meds and within One week all my normal feeings were back! The meds did not take away the sadness, just made me blame them on my husband! Horrors, is this what the world is coming to?

October 10, 2012 at 9:15 am
(194) T.J. says:

My wife has been on Paxil for less than a week, and her mod has already changed. Her sexual ability has been lost , her desire for it has been lost. I could tell something was wrong the past few days, she was just acting depressed, and weird. I asked her what was wrong and she said nothing , just tired. Then she turns around with no emotion and says ” I’m not happy’. It floored me because I thought all was ok. She says she cant explain it , she just doesn’t feel right. I dont know what to do, it’s driving me crazy trying to figure out what’s going on. I have read several of the blog entries from people on this, sounds alt like what we are experiencing…..

October 10, 2012 at 10:57 am
(195) Julie says:

I have been on & off Citalapram for 2-3 years now. This is the second time i have left my husband as my feelings for him have gone…… is it the tablets???…………………….

October 11, 2012 at 12:19 pm
(196) Paul says:

My wife Julie and I were very happy together until her GP put her on Citalopram. A week later she left me saying that her feelings had died. Two months later her love for me had returned and we had a wonderful 2 years of marriage. Then she decided to come off of them, her GP put her straight back on Citalopram and Julie decided to double the dose. Of course within a couple of weeks she left me again saying that she did not love me anymore. She has been double dosing for 5 weeks and I have shown her this and other web sites showing that whilst she does not feel depressed anymore, all of her emotions are virtually non existant.
Citalopram has ruined our marriage, our very happy marriage.
Be warned!

October 14, 2012 at 7:56 pm
(197) Jess says:

Last night my bf of over one and a half years told me he was fed up. He’s sick of me ignoring him and acting like I just have my own life.
We used to be a team, he said. COnstantly he says to me that I’ve changed.
All of these times, I’m helpless, I have no words, because it’s true. I’ve changed and I feel practically no emotion anymore. I struggle to feel the rush of happy endorphins, in fact I’ve found Crossfit training and it’s like I need to work out so much to get any rush of endorphins at all.
I found this page because last night was the breaking point. I love my partner more than anything in the world but the way I talk about him a lot of the time, the way I act, you’d think I couldn’t stand him.
It breaks my heart but you wouldn’t be able to tell. I feel no joy, I feel no enthusiasm to do anything, I’ve even started feeling more tired.
I’ve been depressed since my late teens and I’m now 30. On and off various meds, also expereince an eating disorder and some signs of borderline personality… at the moment I’m on Effexor and have been since 2009 when I was in a clinic as an inpatient. For a while, I was also on Seroquel, but during this time I also expereinced my most scary borerline symptoms. Irrational, lack of emotional regulation, flipping off teh handle, crying all teh time, getting irritated at the littlest thing, crazy pretty much.
Then my partner startted working away from home and slowly things began to unravel. the time he was away at first I was depressed more, and then slowly my wmotions began to fade away. I’ve struggled to find a career that fulfills me as mentally and spiritually I have a lot of passion for life, but you wouldn’t be able to tell.
Only a year ago I had a massive sex drive , but now it’s the opposite.I hate therapy, I’ve done so much of it, but maybe it’s the only way I can get through this and also get off Effexor once and for all and live drug free.

October 29, 2012 at 9:52 pm
(198) robin says:

thank you, everyone, for sharing your stories. i too, am a victim of this horrendous side effect. since i’ve been taking citalopram (various doses, from 15mg to, now, 30mg) my husband and i have had a tumultuous relationship. so much, that i wanted to leave him for another man. even today, as i’m writing this, our marriage is on the brink of failure because, in all honesty, i don’t care. i have no emotion of what i am doing to him. i don’t care how he feels. as someone else wrote, i’m blaming him for my feeling this way.
this is such a catch-22 position to be in. on one hand, i like feeling happy again, and not having my rage attacks. when i started menopause, i upped my dosage which also helped my mood swings and hot flashes. but at what cost? to once again be at the peak of divorce with someone i promised to love till the end of time. so now, where do i turn? what else do can i do? do stay on this an allow my marriage to fall into the crapper? or do i come off of the drug and because a raging beotch with hot-flashes, mood swing and rage?
sad thing is, too, i don’t even cry. when he’s angry at me, i don’t lose my temper; i stare at him stoned face. i’m trying, trying trying, but to no avail. i hate being who i am on this drug, but i also hate who i am when i’m not on it. wth? can somebody please help me??-

November 7, 2012 at 11:43 am
(199) Len says:

I’ve only been on SSRIs (escitalopram) for three weeks and it totally killed off a very intense feeling of love. And thank God that it did. I have never loved my wife, but I do feel a sense of friendship and duty towards her. Over the years I have fallen deeply and painfully in love with other women, and it’s caused me nothing but depression and insomnia. My doctor put me on medication when I was feeling dreadful and was one step away from leaving my family and flying half way round the world to be with an old girlfriend I hadn’t seen for a quarter of a century. So yes, SSRIs can destroy love, but that’s welcome news for some of us. Some of us have to choose between romantic love and duty to a wife and children.

November 7, 2012 at 11:59 pm
(200) butterfly says:

You are contradicting yourself Len. You say “it killed off a very intense of love and thank God it did..because you have never loved your wife” I’m confused on that statement. Food for thought- maybe your depression and insomnia were caused by your affairs. Are you still with your wife and family? If so you are not doing anyone a favor and just think about the example you are showing your kids. I’m going through something very similar and it stinks and would not wish this on anyone. If you don’t love your wife then get a divorce so she can find someone who loves her the way she deserves. As for your kids you can still spend quality time with them.. at your new place. I’m sure the environment at home can be intense at times and no one needs that.

November 9, 2012 at 4:27 pm
(201) Len says:

Butterfly, I have never had an affair, and never once cheated on my wife. Yes, I have fallen in love with other women, but I didn’t sleep with them, I just felt lousy. I can’t leave my wife, because she is ill and just can’t cope on her own, and when I have tried to leave in the past, she fell to pieces. Like I said, I’ve only been taking the SSRIs for a few weeks, but I feel a lot better, and my wife and children say that I am a lot calmer and a better dad and husband. The meds don’t interfere with my ability to work, to think rationally, or to empathise. We are a happier family. This is the best strategy I can come up with to do my duty to my family.

November 10, 2012 at 12:22 am
(202) butterfly says:

I’m glad you did not cross “that” line but when you say you have fallen deeply in love with other women…how is that possible? Are you sure it isn’t “lust”? Everyone misses that excitement we all had in the “honeymoon phase”. Haha. But that doesn’t give anyone the right to look elsewhere. I’m sorry your wife is ill. You said the med killed off a very intense feeling of love for your wife.. that scares me that you are ok with that. My husbands new doctor gave him klonopin and after taking it for 2 weeks he said he no longer loved me……after 23 years of marriage. We were best friends, lovers, could finish the other sentences and trust beyond belief. This medication has ruined our family.. he is too laid back. Nothing bothers him anymore. Worst part he is now having an affair but will not sign the separation papers. I’m aware that meds affect everyone differently…. so please be careful.

November 10, 2012 at 1:15 am
(203) Len says:

I had an intense feeling of love, but unfortunately it wasn’t for my wife, and that was why I was glad the meds killed it off. I know it sounds awful, but in the twenty years that I’ve known her, I can’t recall ever loving my wife. We were young, she was pretty, I wanted sex. But when I tried to dump her a few months later, she cried so much that I couldn’t do it. This was all new territory to me. When relationships had ended in the past, the girls never seemed that upset, and at least one of them seemed quite relieved. You’re not entirely wrong though. I’ve just started going to therapy, and my therapist seems to be of the opinion that it’s not really a good coping strategy. Everyone’s relieved at the moment that I’m not so bad tempered any more, that I’m more generous with my time, more willing to help others. But sometimes I can’t help but feel that it’s a fool’s paradise that will have to come to an end one day in any case. But right now, I can’t afford to feel anything.
Thanks for writing, and thanks for being critical. Talking to my therapist and people online is helping me get my thoughts in order, and the last thing I need is people to pity me and agree with everything I say. It’s good that other people challenge my established ideas.
It sounds like your situation is worse than mine. You had a good relationship, which was ruined by medication. We have a bad one which the medication is keeping going.

November 18, 2012 at 10:25 pm
(204) Anon says:

Ive been taking zoloft 100 milogram for a few years… recently I have noticed a big change in my relationship with my boyfriend of 2 years… I dont have the same physical attraction I used to have. I love him so much and know I could see myself marrying him but I want the physical attraction to be stronger… maybe it is the zoloft?

November 23, 2012 at 10:13 am
(205) Anonormous says:

I can’t begin to explain how much I hate these drugs.

I have been in a relationship with my wife for 12 years now, married for half of that. After 4 kids and some testing times along the way it seems to all have come crashing down. I’m not sure what to do, she is weeing off the SSRIs but the million dollar question is will they make a difference?

Am I confident that they changed our relationship? Well I am pretty sure they did. Only a few weeks (could have even been days) before she started them we had one of the most passionate encounters in our 12 years together, we were each others world. Enter the SSRI and it has been a steady decline ever since. What I’m wondering is after 8 months on the drug is there a hope for things to go back to the way they were, or am I better off cutting my losses now? I’m giving my everything to this relationship to try and make things work out but at a pivotal time in my career, am I better off looking after myself in my life choices, moving on and working towards spending that effort on someone else?

November 25, 2012 at 2:41 am
(206) Anonymous says:

When I started taking the SSRIs, I couldn’t leave my wife alone. I was all over her. But now after about two months, I have lost all interest in sex. I can still get an erection and perform (for a very long time), but my wife has to initiate sex. I don’t even look at porn any more.
I’m going to leave her after Christmas. After twenty years I just don’t see the point any more. I would much rather be alone.

November 25, 2012 at 5:15 pm
(207) butterfly says:

Anonymous … sounds like 2 different people writing. 1) you say you have been in relationship with your wife for 12 years and married half of that and now your latest post says 20 years???? 2) you said she is on ssri’s but weening off and now you say take them?????

November 26, 2012 at 12:22 am
(208) Anonymous says:

Butterfly, we are two different people. I posted under the name Anonymous, whereas the person before me posted under the name Anonormous.
Actually I’m Len. I have been doing a lot of thinking over the past couple of weeks, and I have decided to end my marriage. I think that in the long run I’m doing more harm than good. I’ll be staying in the same town, so I should be able to see my kids regularly, and I’m not exactly poor, so financial support shouldn’t be a problem. I don’t really need much myself, just a little flat. The wife can keep all our community property and the savings. All I need is a laptop, a mobile phone and the clothes I stand up in. Any other stuff will be a burden.

November 26, 2012 at 11:25 pm
(209) butterfly says:

Anonymous (Len) sorry about… at a glance they looked the same. Haha. So let me get this straight. After 2 months of being on the med you lost interest in sex and no longer look at porn. Hmmm if you did those things before and the only thing that has changed is the med issue… maybe that is the problem. I hate reading stories of families being torn apart because of these ssri ‘s.

November 27, 2012 at 3:14 am
(210) Len says:

It’s not just that, butterfly. I’ve been trying to leave my wife virtually since I met her. But she always got so upset that I couldn’t – I can’t abide to see women cry. It makes me feel so guilty that I would do anything to make it stop. And that’s the reason I’m still with her about twenty years after I first said, “Look, I think I’m going to have to go”. Since our children were born she has developed a foul temper, and I just kept waiting for it to go away so our marriage would be at least tolerable, albeit loveless. She tries very hard, she’s been on medication for her depression and anger issues for years, we’ve tried couples counselling, but nothing has really worked, and she still flies into a rage at least once a day over minor things.
The difference in me now after I have started the SSRIs is that I’m a lot calmer and emotionally blunted. In the past I couldn’t leave her because I was too angry to think straight, and I even kept thinking up stupid reasons why I couldn’t leave, like how difficult it would be for us to change the phone contract to put it in her name or how difficult it would be for her to pay bills when she has trouble switching on a computer and can’t even send an email unassisted (we are from the pre-internet generation).
It’s true that SSRIs are going to end our marriage, but it really isn’t a good marriage. I’m not the right man for my wife, and she’s not the right woman for me. Maybe I will never find anyone else, but as they say in Proverbs “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife”.

November 27, 2012 at 8:35 am
(211) Claudette says:

My bf was pushed into taking lexapro by his overbearing mother who’s the epitome of why SSRI’s are not healthy mentally. This rubbish pill he took for an old weed habit… He smokes more than ever is violent, depressed and craving drugs badly. It’s been a year and he’s morphed into a cruel excuse of a human much like his mother and sister whom are all on it. I’m at breaking point and am terrified of the violent outbursts (since lexapro only)
It’s not helping, is there anything scientifically based so I can show him it is a waste of time and going to tear us apart just when we are about to start all the good things in life, travel, have a family… This pill has ruined our relationship. His libido is shot and I gave not seen him like this! Sad but true.

November 28, 2012 at 12:53 pm
(212) buttterfly says:

Claudette, you are in bad spot to. First he needs to get away from his mom. Do you live with him ? Have you spoken to his dr. about his outbursts ?

December 9, 2012 at 4:33 pm
(213) Rob says:

I have been taking Zoloft for about 7 years it worked great at first then I turned into an emotionless jerk. It is currently affecting my relationship with my fiancé, I know I love her the thing is that I don’t care about how others feel a lot of the time. She thinks I fell out of love with her and its just not true. I love her more than I’ve ever loved anyone I never knew love before her, I don’t want to lose her but i’m afraid its going to happen I say mean things and I have went out drinking a couple times while she sits at home crying and wondering what i’m doing then I come home and feel bad I have never cheated or anything never would I flushed my meds down the toilet because I honestly feel they are making me numb to emotion. Please Help

December 16, 2012 at 1:21 pm
(214) claire swift says:

My husband has been on depression tablets containing ssri and he feels he has stop loving me, now he has stopped the tablets how long before his feelings come back for me

Thanks

December 16, 2012 at 1:35 pm
(215) claire says:

My husband has been on depression tablets containing ssri he has now come of of them how long before his feelings for me come back.

December 28, 2012 at 2:24 am
(216) Lost and lonely says:

Most of these stories sound like they were written by a fly on my living room wall about a week ago.

My wife and I have been together for over 7 years and married for 3 in March. I love her with every ounce of my soul.

Last week she called me to tell me she wanted a divorce (yes, called me). She has been on antidepressants for about 4 years currently taking 100mg of Sertraline (Zoloft generic). She told me she has been unhappy for a year and loves me but isn’t in love with me. We have a son who will be 3 in January and a daughter who is 17.

Same old story regarding sex; she has not initiated sex since going on the meds and the frequency has deminished over time. When we do have sex she still orgasms but told me this is physical, not emotional.

Reluctantly, she agreed to marriage counseling which I hope to start in mid January. We currently have a schedule where we alternate staying at home with the kids.

We did have our fights and am in no way a perfect husband but she know I am madly in love with her. She used to take pride in the fact we were such close friends but now says the friendship is all that’s there. She is not cheating, says she does not want to date anyone else, she feels completely “numb inside”, and can no think of a marriage she would like to have.

I’m in no way clinically trained but she also started to work out about a year ago (she is a runner). She has lost about 30 lbs in the last year and a half. I’ve been reading a lot of articles online and have seen multiple references on exercise essentially taking the place of antidepressants not to mention the weight loss. Can the dodger she’s taking be too much because of the exercise?

January 10, 2013 at 9:41 pm
(217) Bailey says:

I am so glad to read so many stories similar to my own. My boyfriend of 8 months began 20mg Citolopram about two months ago. Effective almost immediately, my loving, devoted, passionate guy turned cold and distant from me. He suddenly started making “jokes” about wanting to break up with me and I had to sleep clear on the other side of the bed from him because he didn’t like the way it made him feel when I was too close. I was the one who pushed him to get help for his extreme mood swings and it completely turned against me. We broke up a few weeks ago because he says he wants to focus on himself. He maintains that he loves me just the same, but with the way he treats me, it doesn’t make sense. We’ve tried to work on being friends but the sudden switch was too difficult for me so we are no longer speaking. Thanks to this medication, the person who used to tell me he loved me and was going to marry me every single day now thinks I’m needy and desperate.

January 15, 2013 at 5:32 am
(218) notwavingbutdrowning says:

I’ve found it is both heartening and saddening to find so many stories similar to my own. I had been with my fiance for 18 months. Just under a year ago, we decided he was in a very happy place, and it was time to come of the Citalorpam (20mg). The doc tapered him far too quickly, and he had a horrible reaction, which involved phoning me as I was driving to work to tell me he could never see me again and he had to end things. I was devastated, but after I worked out what had happened, I got him back on the full strength, and after about 2-3 weeks, he was back with me, apologising profusely that it ‘wasn’t him.’ A few months after that, things were going so blissfully well together that he proposed. We were due to marry this year, and were about to move in together (work commitments had kept us seeing each other once a fortnight).
But a month ago, he got very sick and didn’t take or absorb his Citalopram properly. The same thing happened: 2 days before Christmas, he called to tell me that he had ‘fallen out of love with me’. 2 weeks before that, he had insisted on taking photos of us posting our wedding invitations – that’s how soppy and in love he was.
It has now been over 3 weeks since he made the call, and although we have talked over the phone – and for 20 minutes when he made a 12 hour round trip in his car to tell me on my doorstop that he couldn’t see me again – his feelings of love have not returned.
It’s all over, and he feels nothing. WHen I ask him why he apparently ‘fell out of love’, he can only ever say ‘I don’t know’. When I ask him when it happened, he tells me ‘a week before your birthday (the EXACT same date he got sick and didn’t take the meds). But he won’t see it. He can’t accept it. He’s like a cold-hearted stranger who just wants to block me from his life. A month ago I had everything. Now I have nothing. Can someone please advise?

January 24, 2013 at 5:04 pm
(219) WoW says:

ALl I can say, if for those few people that swear SSRI’s don’t make you fall out of love, have you even READ the fkin comments and article? Jezus Krist man. And even that one person contradicted herself BADLY! “They do not make you fall out of love, come on. They blunt your emotions and mask your feelings”…. WHAT… THE … FVCK? ARe you on crack? Blunting and masking your feelings CAN AND WILL make your love feel lost.

WIth that said. It’s also NOT JUST the love… pay attention morons! These drugs are making people act in ways that aren’t normal to them, and most of them in a bad way! affairs, drinking, drugs, careless acting with their families, kids.. etc. LISTEN to the people that have LIVED IT and come off and realized.. they are telling their story to help!

WIth THAT said… Yes. My wife and I were together 11 years. 5 months of Celexa and it’s done! We were happy, sold our property and cars and stuff to start a business together and now it’s gone. She’s cold and very much a monster! Falling out of love doesn’t make you a cold hearted B1TCH and become a monster, now does it? NO! Nice, loving ladies don’t just go from zero to CRUEL MONSTER and stay that way for no reason.

We’re not talking aobut just “falling out of love” we’re talking about people becoming cold hearted and hateful. If the spouse was an abuser of sorts and / or an alcoholic etc.. sure, understandable. BUT we’re talking about loving marriages, loving relationships, loving people that are being transformed into garbage, evil etc.

January 24, 2013 at 6:10 pm
(220) Lisa says:

I am so sorry for all of you who are legitimatly having problems due to these drugs. I must say, I am a “monster”. I was in a loving relationship for 7 years, marrired for 4 of them. We were very happy together. I cheated on him the the first year but I was much younger and naive and got suckered in. We go through that and had been faithful and loving to each other ever since. We have a son together that 2years old now.

I was put on 20mg of Celexa for anxiety from stress at work for about 6 months. A few months in things were great, I noticed no side effects and our sexual relations got very strong. Suddenly, what I can remember is very blurry, but I alienated myself from him and my friends. I told him the Ilove you but” speach as well. I had an affair and then divorced him. He tried to stand by me for a while but then gave up. I told him to move on and he did.

I have been off the drug for a few months now and I am petrified at what I have done! I can’t explain enough of how it did not feel like me! I am so sorry for what I’ve done and now he doesn’t want to talk to see me. I left everything behind for a 22 year old boy which when I ‘woke up’, i realized I had no feelings for this boy and would not have had anything to do with him normally. I’ve lost everything and now in complete pain over it all.

January 25, 2013 at 7:29 pm
(221) Kim says:

My husband of 5 years started having panic attack last June, The doctor put him on zoloft and he seems to be doing fine. Starting last Sept, he started acting distant. Then I found out he went and got the fertility test done. He told me he could not have kids. Then he cried and wanted a seperation. I thought he was just acting this way because of the Infertility news. He continued to act very strange and disconnect. Then, in December, he told me he is not in love with me anymore. He could not tell me the reasons why at the moment. Then the next day, he told me it was because I was not happy with my job, that I did not like his mom and did not let his mom borrow money from us, that I am emotionally intense. I understand every marriage has its issues and those can be communicated and resolved. I feel he is reasoning his feeling and blaming me for things. He did not credit me for the positive things I have done. I continue to work at the job I did not like because I want to wait until he finish school. Marriage and love is about sacrifices. We change the way we manage money so he can help his mom without needing to consult with me. I support his decision going to school full time because I know it is important for him and me. I cook every day and pack his lunch and dinner because I love him. He also said he does not find me attractive anymore but I am a very pretty woman. I am at the time of accepting the fact. He wants me to respect his feeling and he does not want to see marriage counseling or therapist. He did ask the doctor to lower his Zoloft dosage to 50 mg from 100 mg a week ago. However, he recently still told me his feeling hasn’t changed. He still wants to sell the house and still blame me for why he feels the way he feels. I am ready for the worse which is divorce and willing to let God lead the way. I just don’t know if there is anyway to get this message to him so he can consider talking to his doctor and knowing he is not alone.

January 27, 2013 at 7:28 pm
(222) Notwavingbutdrowning says:

I can’t understand how doctors aren’t taking more notice of these forums. I’ve found so many cases like my own, and most of them end in heartache. The guy posting above is right – people fundamentally change on this drug. That said, I’m convinced my fiancé is suffering from a much deeper personality disorder that the pills aren’t helping (he has chronic low self esteem and has self-harmed before). To Kim: try to get your husband to read this. I would put my life savings on his behaviour being down to a chemical imbalance in his brain. These feelings he has won’t last forever, but they will last long enough to destroy everything you guys have built unless he gets help soon. Good luck – it didn’t work for me. My ex fiancé has now gone to the extreme of changing his mobile phone number in order to hide from his problem and the one person who knew the extent of it – me. 5 weeks ago I had a new flat, a marriage to look forward to in July, and a very loving and sweet fiancé. Now I have a broken heart and a head full of frustration. There’s absolutely no reasoning with him.

January 28, 2013 at 7:48 pm
(223) GIVEN UP HOPE says:

I have just finished reading the comments & thus finally realized what has happened to me.I have been on 100MG Zoloft for 9 months .Up until about 7 weeks ago I had an amazing sex life with my boyfriend .& orgasmed very well .Now I cant orgasm at all but I still do enjoy sex with my boyfriend who is VERY supportive in all of this .Plus I am still very much in love with him.

January 30, 2013 at 9:14 pm
(224) Friend says:

I’d like to add my story. I too was on an SSRi antidepressant drug. I was on it for about 5 months before I started feeling different. I only seen this after I quit taking the drug. I can’t explain it, it was like I was in a fog and couldn’t think straight but ALWAYS thought what I was doing was right, or ok to do. I had estranged my husband, then started flirting, hard with some guys and eventually, had an affair. Then when I told my husband, he said I told him in the most cold hearted way and showed no remorse for it.

He left me. I am now off the drug for almost a year. I am still having some withdrawel symptoms but I feel much better and now that I’m off, I can realize the damage I’ve done. I don’t blame him for leaving me at all, though I cry so hard at night. He was my best friend. We had been through so much and now I’ve ran him off and I dont’ know if I can ever get him back. He’s seeing someone now and I am sitting here so hearttbroken. These drugs are a serious issue and I’m glad people are taking notice.

February 5, 2013 at 2:50 am
(225) Droc says:

My wife drasticly changed after only 3 months on Celexa. 2 weeks before she started changing (flirting with so many guys and suddenly being distant) she told me how much she loved me, and begged me to never leave her.

Divorce will be final in about 9 hours. Feb 5. Divorce court will rule our Decree and give her what she thinks she wants.

She’s still cold, and distant. SOOO MUCH not herself… it hurts because my little baby, 3yo daughter always hates going home with her, says she hates mommy and wtf did she even learn that word? AND SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE”S SAYING!!! WTH! it hurts so bad. She was such a mommy’s girl,…. now she doens’t like her.

Haven’t seen her in almsot 2 weeks.

These drugs may only affect people this way about 15% of the ppl taking it, but you know what, THAT’S 14% TOO DAMN MANY! That’s too many families getting fked up.

People need to wake up… we’re not blaming the drugs as a crutch, because we’re talkin about COMPLETE BEHAVIORAL CHANGES… not just a person leaving a marriage.

February 9, 2013 at 7:45 am
(226) Chris D. says:

I was on SSRIs for about two years. I did a year of Zoloft then used various others over the next year — Paxil, Serzone, Prozac, Wellbutrin and Effexor.

The first two weeks on Zoloft I felt higher than at any time in my life. Then I went emotionally numb with erectile dysfunction. People would comment on how robotic I became. It was basically a chemical lobotomy. I was also in a complete state of exhaustion all the time. None of the other drugs were an improvement. In fact Paxil and Effexor were slightly worse. I’ve been clean from these drugs for years.

I later developed a porn addiction and the symptoms are exactly the same as SSRI usage — emotional numbness, erectile dysfunction, social anxiety, exhaustion and depression. It turns out this is the result of losing dopamine receptors in the brain, and I believe this is exactly what SSRIs do. Read yourbrainonporn.com for the science behind this. When I abstain from porn and masturbation for a few weeks my emotions and ability to love return. My social anxiety disappear and my erections return to normal. Thousands of men report the same thing. This is a newer phenomenon but closely mimics SSRI usage so I just had to point it out.

SSRI use is causing hypofrontality and a loss of dopamine receptors. You need a normal dopamine system to feel love. And to have normal range of emotions.

February 14, 2013 at 5:56 pm
(227) anonymous says:

This is so sad and I feel so angry at these doctors and so called “therapists/psychiatrists” who prescribe these drugs like candy and put peoples lives and relationships in jeopardy. They are nothing more than legalized drug dealers and should be put out of business and many of these drugs should be banned. Diet and exercise along with supplements, particularly fish oil and flaxseed oil have been proven effective in helping depression, but NO doctor or “psychiatrist” will ever tell you this. The bottom line is you have to take your health into your own hands, do your own research and don’t rely on these doctors to solve your problems because in the end, they only cause MORE PROBLEMS! Profits come before everything else…SICKENING!!

February 23, 2013 at 8:26 am
(228) lori says:

I am confused. I thought depression causes the symptoms of loss of emotions, interest in things you once pleasured, cognitive difficulties. But you all are saying instead it is the meds. Arent they supposed to treat these symptoms???

February 24, 2013 at 3:36 am
(229) Anonymous02 says:

What am I suppose to do now??? This is the only place I can find any relief, yet unfortunately doesn’t magically change my sad circumstances or bring back the feelings and love I had for my boyfriend. We want to get married, I don’t want to be with anyone else. After taking the med for 5 weeks, I woke up one morning and all my feelings for my most loving boyfriend were GONE, just vanished. I despirately did research. When I read this I could not believe that this was happening to others as well and weened myself off of the “poison.” it’s been 4 months now and still have zero feelings, but I haven’t been able to feel love for God like I used to either. My boyfriend saw on here what others are experiencing and knows this isn’t my fault and he said he would stick with me. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I don’t want to lose him, but I have NO feelings anymore, yet i cry my eyes out everyday at the thought of losing him and knowing that this was nothing i could control, it feels more like a freak accident!! So how long do I continue in this relationship with no certainty in sight. This is my life’s greatest tragedy. He is literally the ONLY human being I have, I have no immediate or extended family. He wants to take me to the UK soon to meet his parents and family. How can I meet them now? What do I do? If I have no feelings left, then why do I cry all the time about this, why do I care so much? These are NOT normal relationship circumstances that we are all dealing with.

February 26, 2013 at 10:40 pm
(230) Dewayne says:

Lori, the thing about your question is, yes it is suppose to treat these type of symptoms. However, there’s TONS of people finding the opposite. For one, depression IS a feeling, a feeling of being down. It takes away that feeling, but also takes away feeling (sometimes) of love and affection as well. You’re messing with the SAME BRAIN PARTS that work the positives as well.

The biggest deal is, these symptoms are showing up in people THAT WERE NOT DEPRESSED to start with! I’ve since found many people who started AD’s for odd reasons, doctor put one friend on lexapro because of leg pain? WTF? My ex wife was put on Citalopram for slight chest pains, thought to have been from heavily skipping heart beats, dr. said it was “work anxiety” and gave her the med. Weeks before the major personality change, my ex wife was expressing her full love for me and begging me to never leave her. NOW… she says she only feels happy away from me. Does that make sense to you?

Not only that, but she also show less emotion when dealing with her daughter. IT’s. NOT. JUST. ME! It’s HER.. her emotions and though process is screwed. She’s off (supposedly) the meds for 3 weeks. Heavy aggitation so far, which leads me to believe she is off the meds. But we will see.

March 1, 2013 at 1:53 pm
(231) Valery says:

I got engaged three months ago. My bf and I have been together for 4 years now, but at the beginning of last year I got very depressed and started taking sertraline with a 50mg dose. On December last year many important things in my life fell apart, I guess you could call it bad luck when they all happened at the same time, except for my feelings for him. He was one of the few things that kept me together. Still, I tried to sleep forever one night when he was away. After waking up in a hospital, I went to a new psychiatrist and he gave me a higher dose of sertraline, 150mg. The depression went away, but that’s not the only thing that disappeared. I have to start planning a wedding, still I find myself wondering if I should do that at all.
Analyzing myself, I found I am not in love with my fiancé anymore. And I remember how much I used to love him, how enchanted I felt, and how I thought he was the best thing that could ever happen to me. But I don’t feel that anymore. I don’t feel anything anymore. I just feel irritated. I have no libido whatsoever, and I would really like to live on my own now, when for the first time, I’m sharing a home with my couple. I suspected this could come from the sertraline, but I must say that knowing that doesn’t help.
Even if it is an illusion, I don’t feel in love with the person I’m living with, and I don’t want to live with him. This is a problem in many ways, it could really ruin the opportunity of marrying the person I could actually love. When I fell so much in love I decided to cross the ocean and live in his country with him. I don’t even speak the language and flying back isn’t so simple since I came here with not only my stuff but three cats as well. I wish I could find a way to deal with this.
Stopping the medication isn’t an option since my depression is real. I guess talking to him about this is the only thing I can do for now.

March 6, 2013 at 2:32 am
(232) TripleG says:

Valery, First off let me say how sorry I am to see your sitch. Unfortunately, being a victim of SSRI divorce, I have seen your story many times.

The good thing is, I can almost guarantee you reversal of your feelings. All you have to do is a few things. 1. Talk to your Fiance and show him sites like this and “marriages ruined by ssri’s” (google it, it’s a topix site, usually first the top option) 2. Begin to taper yourself off. Get a good taper schedule from paxilprogressDOTcom. 3. Find a therapist. No, a REAL one, not a drug pusher, one that will WORK with you, and you know, do what therapists use to do… talk , ask questions, WORK and find out reasons for your depression. Try some old therapist solutions. Eating a healthier diet, regular excercise, try raquet ball with your Fiance for example. FIND natural ways to battle the depression. And last, give it time!

You do NOT need your medicine, you only think you do and your body going through withdrawal (even depression symptoms) .. isn’t the return of your symptoms. It’s the withdrawal of medicine from your body.

Give it plenty of time and I promise you, your old feelings will come back for your fiance. You have a HUGE advantage by already acknowledging the changes. Good luck to you. IT IS THE DRUGS!!

March 10, 2013 at 4:36 pm
(233) JoeyB says:

i have read a good amount of these comments and as i am on Cymbalta right now i can relate. The only issue i have is sometimes i feel depressed people are willing to settle. When i was depressed i was always willing to accept what was going on in my life. I would always “deal” with what was presented to me. I feel like someone who is depressed has no middle when it comes to feelings. They are either very sad, very happy, very concerned, or very unconcerned. Now being on Cymbalta i have stood up for what makes me unhappy and by doing this have driven myself to divorce.

I cant say i feel amazingly happy in my life right now but i feel very content. I don’t get super happy about anything but at the same time i don’t feel like like i get extremely sad either. I have questioned if i was ever truly happy with my wife. Was the marriage ever that good or was i just willing to settle? The other thing i question is if its better to have your feelings limited? It has undoubtedly helped me cope with my life overall.

March 12, 2013 at 12:55 pm
(234) Electra says:

Hi,
you have no idea, how happy I am to see this topic. Thank you.

I have been coping with some things. loss of one parent at age 6, psoriasis- lichen planus, anxiety caused by exams, self-esteem issues, hypo thyroid, exhaustion. worked through all that without any meds.
I am 39 now, single working female.
Never felt the need to take anti depressants. I did a lot of yoga and exercises. It really helps.

till the last six years, had a few heartbreaks, and my first and only relationship till date left me with HPV. I felt angry, betrayed and frustrated. coped through that. still no meds.

Till recently, I fell in love , unrequited love again. with someone at work. I felt stupid for having such feelings, and it was so painful, felt like a burden, unbearable, finally broke down in front of a friend who is a doctor.

she prescribed Wellbutrin 150 XL.

The feeling of love disappeared. its like it never existed.

i was so scared that the object of my affection would figure out and then i would feel terribly embarrased.

thank God for SSRIs. I can now go to work and face this person and not feel a thing. feeling so much better.

Thank you for this article. and forum. feels good to share.

love and light.

March 12, 2013 at 4:15 pm
(235) Johnny says:

Yes I agree with Brian, the other poster, that Prozac although it cures my horrible depression, takes away the highs as well as the tremendous lows. I am not really happy ever, but I would take that over the dark depths of depression any day. I don’t know that I can fall in love, or really feel very happy. I also find it difficult to connect to my emotions. For instance I really don’t cry, I can recite terrible things that have happened like I am reading out of a book. My best friend of 13 years was found dead in his apartment at 38 years old, and it really seemed to have little effect on me. I just don’t feel bad mental pain or great mental joy. I’ll take it over the alternative, which is total disassociation, physical pain, weakness, constant crying, and a need for 18 hours of sleep a day. And I can be “content,” at least.

March 13, 2013 at 8:17 pm
(236) Anna says:

This makes a lot of sense to me. My boyfriend of 18 months is on Prozac, and although the relationship started off well, he was able to do what needed to be done to keep it going, he gradually became numb and uncaring. I did what I could to keep it going, and deal with is emotional detachment, blaming and ambivalence, but I can’t take much more. He says he loves me and wanted it to work out – but he can’t seem to connect or process the relationship in order for that to happen.

It can be very difficult for the partner in these situations, as you blame yourself for not being kind/understanding, and nothing you can do can help.

March 14, 2013 at 10:39 pm
(237) JayJay says:

JOey, that’s EXACTLY what the medicine does to you. YOu don’t feel overly either way. Is that how you really want to live your life? Emotionally blunted? I PROMISE you (goes for any of you) if you think you’re just fine w/o the love, you’re mistaken. You WILL regret it later. It may take a decade, but that’s the problem. Too many ppl are waking up a decade or more later of being on this medicine and saying “WTH did I do??” They say it’s like waking from a bad dream and feel the time on the drugs robbed them of their life, their time and love.

Electra, you just admitted to being thankful for the SSRI’s, because “Now you can go to work and not feel love for this person” Who in their right, god given mind’s think THAT’S OK? If you love someone, jesus don’t take a pill to make it go away! omg.

Yes, this medicine KILLS emotion. Soon, you’ll not enjoy your hobbies, your favorite tv shows, petting your dog or cat. You do become a zombie if you end up having this type of side effect. And you know what? Your mind will think EVERYTHING’S FINE.

For those who lost loved ones, holy cows, WE’RE HUMAN… We’re SUPPOSE to feel sadness. It’s called GRIEVING.. what is it with society now days thinking they have to take a pill for everything.

April 3, 2013 at 12:27 pm
(238) Amy says:

Me and my boyfriend are bith depressed , weve been together for abou a year and a half now, live together and was madly in love then i went paranoid and depressed ad had major mood swings and now hes depressed im still wanting the love but he doesnt seem to care about anything i do. Im trying so hard to keep this up but ts gettig to the stage i cant take it anymore. Hes never interested in me anymore even when im naked i may get one comment and thats it. I pretty much beg him for sex now and it gets me so upset when he pushes me off him as says hes not interested. I just dont know what to do anymore. Im only taking meds for it , he aint yet but will be soon. Please help !

April 7, 2013 at 12:15 am
(239) char says:

Suzy you are incorrect. please remember you hurt people with your comments. this is 100% correct that these meds can cause you to fall out of love as it causes you to become cold hearted and have no emotions – hense fall out of love!!
it doesnt happen to everyone. you are obviously one of the lucky ones. Everyone has different side effects and the one that we are discussing here is very common to happen. Please think before you speak. it is giving the partners of ones on these meds a little peace of mind realising its these meds that are causing their loving partners to turn into a different person and its not them. that way they can try to understand and help them instead of running from it.

April 22, 2013 at 3:45 am
(240) Tess says:

I have been feeling the ‘empty emotional’ shell for quite some time. I notice when others are crying even sobbing at a funeral I don’t seem to have the same feelings, mind you I do cry but I don’t feel anything like they may. I’ve also noticed that I can say ‘I Love You’ because I know that’s what I have always said, however it’s said with ‘no emotion’ but I know that I believe it. I’ve known that Pristiq does ‘BLOCK’ your emotions but I wasn’t sure how extreme it could be.

I also have isolated myself from friends and have no desire to be around talkative people. It’s as though I’m an ‘Alien’ sometimes and I just can’t be bothered with anyone or anything…but the upside of being on this medication has allowed me to ‘let go’ of some things I’ve always found difficult to do, also I can think more clearly, I have more motivation to do what needs to be done and I’m happy with my own company

Cheers!!!!!

April 26, 2013 at 5:15 am
(241) Sean says:

I am so glad I found this article and so many people feel this way. My partner of two years began taking meds a few months back. Since then he has completly changed. He thinks its normal. As you can tell we aren’t together anymore and I am heart broken over it. We meet up every now and then but he shows no emotion at all. Before taking the meds he was madly in love with me and then it all stopped. It makes me really sad that we had to end a relationship that had so much potential. I’ve finally decided its time to move on with my life and I hope he feels better soon.

May 15, 2013 at 12:26 pm
(242) vanessa anderson says:

First of all i want to thank kristina for the post she made on how dr khakani helped her in bringing back her lover before christmas.At first when i saw the posting i was so happy and in the other hand so scared,That this might not be real, Then i decided to give it a try in which i contacted dr khakani and told him how my lover left me for another lady for the past 3years and i have been lonely and depressed without him,So i told him if he has helped anyone called kristina and he said yes, that was the lady he helped in bringing back her lover before christmas.i said good and i told him that if he can help me in bringing back my own lover,He laughed and said once i have contacted him that my problem will be solved.He said that my lover will be back to me within 24hours and do an unexpected thing for me. i said really, Truly when the 24hours was completed i got a text from someone saying am sorry then i decided to call the number i saw it was my lover Steve voice.i was so happy he was begging me on phone, That he is ready to do anything that will make me happy in life,So i told him to come over which he did,As he was coming he came with a brand new Car as gift i was so happy and made me had access to his account to prove to me that he is not going to leave me for another lady,Am so happy today and am also thanking kristina for posting this early.Dr khakani you are truly a man of your word. He can also solve any kind of problems in this world. Friends you can contact dr khakani on his private khakanibestsolutioncentre12@gmail.com or cell number +2348062216903.

Name: vanassa Anderson

May 19, 2013 at 11:29 pm
(243) Derick says:

Ive been with my girl for 3 and a half years now and ghey perscribed her everey ssri in the book for bipolor and post pardom and now she says that she dosent ferl a spark and its just not there i need help i love her she is my heart without her i can live…..what can i do?

May 27, 2013 at 8:28 pm
(244) Erin says:

It’s 13 months since I finally finished tapering off Cymbalta because my doctor was warned by EL rep that I could “drop dead” at any time. I do not feel affection for people but I do feel rage over what caused the depression and also over the amount of useless medication I was given. I believe I have long term injury as, for example, I can’t spell accurately all the time now when once it wasn’t a problem.

July 2, 2013 at 9:04 pm
(245) Jason Gooljar says:

SSRI’s are a godsend in this regard. For all you lonely people who find it hard to find either sex or love, why not take something that takes all those needs away? I only wish it worked stronger. It hardly ever works near the level I need it to but right now I am on this sort of “feel nothing” kick. I’ve been on Paxil since 2003 so there’s that.

July 8, 2013 at 7:42 am
(246) Mag says:

Same here

My lovely wife was put on Lexapro last December due to some problems at her work. Other part of her work was perfect and she even received an award. Additionally she have a great hobby and many plans for our future.

Just in a 2 months from loving, caring, loyal woman she changed into hypomanic, cold, self-centered alien. Her hobby, love for pets and many other things totally disappeared. End of March I heard “I love you as a friend but I’m no longer in love with you”. Due to severe physical side-effects she went off meds by tapering. Last her pill was on Apr 14.
First few weeks off pills was very dangerous – rage attacks, suicidal idealization, crying spells. Next weeks I saw “windows” of better mood and “weaves” of heavy withdrawal symptoms.
During last window her skin became good again and she told me “I love you” several times. She wanted to spend Christmas with me crying how bad is to be lonely . But next week a strong “weave” came – again: skin full of acne and self-appearing bruises, strong constipation, dizziness and emotional – coldness and anger. She told me that time – I want divorce. Right now she is 3 months off Lexapro but still in heavy withdrawal. All I can do is to wait and pray that she will not take SSRI again.

July 8, 2013 at 12:46 pm
(247) Jennifer says:

I have the greatest boyfriend in the world,he is very attractive and so sweet to me,he has changed my life and shown me what true love is like…but in the last month or so something is not right.I feel emotionally numb,I have lost interest for everything.I have no sex drive what so ever,unless I am drinking alcohol then it’s kicked in to overdrive to the point where I just want to rip my clothes off,but when I am sober there’s nothing.this is affecting my relationship so much,after 6 months of being on prozac it has recently made me feel emotionless torwards my boyfriend but I know this is not me….I love him more than anything,but I keep having manic thoughts about not loving him anymore,I have been having thoughts and dreams of hooking up with other guys but I know this is not me talking,that is not the kind of person I am to just hook up with people.it’s the Prozac,I love my bf so much and I don’t know what to do.Most of the time I don’t even notice what I am doing or saying, it’s like Someone else is in control of my thoughts and emotions.and I just spue hurtful things out,I’ve always had some depression anxiety but I have never acted like this especially forwards my loving wonderful boyfriend ,the only reason i acknowleged what has been going on is because he grabbed me sat me down and told me what the change he was noticing. i am always tired,I have joint pains,terrible nightmares of being attacked, twitch all night long while I sleep….I think it’s time to get off the Prozac and try another alternative

I must also confess I don’t always take my medicine regularly…I tend to skip a day or two a week sometimes three

July 8, 2013 at 8:24 pm
(248) AshRob8713 says:

I’m 25 and have been on SSRI’s since I was 16. I thought I really loved someone but then my doctor upped my dosage and my significant other started getting on my nerves. We eventually broke up. In the past month I have cut my dosage in half and reconnected with my ex. I am so in love with him. I thought there was something wrong with me never falling in love like other people. I firmly believe that SSRI’s will keep negative feelings away but they also keep positive feelings away too.

July 9, 2013 at 5:16 am
(249) gordon says:

I met my wife 10 years ago; she was such a strong, independent, confident and beautiful woman (I was smitten instantly!) I felt the luckiest man alive that she ever even agreed to go on one date with me. After dating for a few years, we got married and had two beautiful daughters. The white picket fence was alive and well. We both had good jobs, a nice home, and no real money worries.
Then from nowhere, she developed these problems on returning to work from maternity leave.
The Job changed slightly and she would make mistakes, which would have her in a panic about losing her job.
She would take some extra time off but would never want to go back (she used to love her job so much!!!)
After being off one too many times, she went to the doctor and was diagnosed with acute anxiety…???
She was prescribed citalopram which in the first couple of weeks was fine. her mood increased and she was getting back to her normal self, after a few more visits to the doctor her medication was changed for no reason(that I am aware of) to sertraline….
My wife disappeared very quickly after taking these, it almost instantly changed her.
After a few months she returned to work and everything on the outside seemed ok, everyone thought that she was back to her normal self, in public she was confident and appeared to have turned a corner, and at home it was very different. My wife has almost definitely fallen out of love with me….
She is disinterested, cold, emotionless, and never intimate. Our marriage which was once so happy is now dead.
I cannot invest anymore of myself, I feel as if I am starting to disappear. I won’t let that happen for my girl’s sake.
It does not appear to even bother her that much, she is numbed from life.

July 18, 2013 at 3:00 pm
(250) chris says:

i am seriously thinking i need one of those types of anti depressants for the same reasons some of you think you dont!

im my mind, there is nothing more humilitating and dissempowering than having feelings for someone that they dont have for me.

if i can use the same medications to blunt those non-mutual feelings, it would be helpful!

i made the mistake of making my feelings known to a lady, whom i have been having fwb relations with, and she did tell me she liked me as a friend.

my….first….response was to …back away…for a time. she responded by telling me ”…i love you, or like you alot, and would never try to hurt you”..she did mean love me as a friend (with benefits)..however, she ..Did.. break that promise to me.

i am almost …58 years old..and have never actuallyhad a real romantic love in which it was mutual..either someone loved me or liked me alot, and it didnt much care for them. or the other way around.

the biggest lie in my mind is from..alfred lord tennyson..’it is better to have loved and lost than never to love at all”..no, i actually do think blunting the uncontrolled falling in love would be a …good…thing!..

i dont ever…ever…ever..want another woman to have that kind of power over me…ever!!

July 20, 2013 at 11:41 am
(251) Checked out says:

Had to take in a relative who is a paranoid schizophrenic for the second time. First time was for 3 years. My husband and I found a solution to be alone again before we became divorced. Three years down the road same problem. Our relative (my husband’s sister) has no money and nowhere to go. Felt that we had no choice, so we took her in again. This time I am on Celexa to cope with the depression. It has been a few months now, I am positive the Celexa has help me to check out of the anger, despair and resentment I felt the last time. My husband and I have been married 39 years, and we’ve decided that we are going to stay together no matter what while we work on a solution. Sadly, I stay in my room a lot (I am disabled and can only drive very short distances), but I don’t mind. I like being alone (the Celexa?), love to read, crochet, and my rescue dog, who is always by my side and is my best friend. I have a great daughter and two beautiful grandchildren. I get to see them about once a week. Thankfully, I still love my husband (more like really good friends with lots of good memories, and he helps me so much with my own health problems). When I do go out to the rest of the house to get something to eat, there is usually something on the counter that my sis in law could at least have rinsed out after she used it. Normally I would seethe with anger on a low boil, and then take it out on my husband. Now I just say to myself, “What difference does it make? She will never change.” As of now, we’re working on trying to find a facility in which to place her. She goes to bed around 2 p.m. And stays up all night. Without Celexa (I guess), and hoping that God will come through for us, I could never survive this terrible situation.

July 22, 2013 at 2:30 am
(252) Saiyan says:

My story is that me and my gf were together for 2 1/2 years and It’s was nothing but love from both sides. 3 weeks ago she tried to kill herself and got put on Zoloft and since then she has broken up with me, has feelings for someone else, “Loves me as a best friend but not in love with me”, broke my heart with no remorse what so ever.

She denies it’s the pill that she feels this way about me now. I’ve shown her any of these sites and forums and nothing helps.

how can you go from loving me with no doubt and even telling me that she wants to last longer in sex because she loves me to “I don’t love you anymore” in one week?

July 27, 2013 at 2:21 am
(253) EAE says:

My husband pushed for me to be put on antidepressants after my mastectomy. I now see it was because he did not want to be bothered with comforting me or trying to help me regain my self-esteem as a woman. I was emotionally numb, everything was unreal, wasn’t eating, and could not function in everyday life. Then panic attacks started and for the first time in my life I became suicidal. So I took myself off them. My cancer support group helped me realize I needed to grieve my loss and many of them had been put on antidepressants right after their surgeries, too Each one who had, said it did not help. When she eventually went off them, she still had to work through the grieving process, it only had delayed it.

I think my husband was happier with me emotionally numb. He likes for friends and family to see him as the devoted heroic husband standing by his wife through cancer. In fact, he has moved into the guest room and refuses to give to me or accept from me any affection. And ungrateful wretch that I am, I keep causing trouble because I am unhappy being demoted to a platonic friend and the cook.

Recently, I inherited a very substantial amount of money. He says it is mine and he has no interest in it, but suddenly he and the only child at home are cutting me out of conversations, putting me down, and if I leave the room and go read a book (I hate fighting) they say I am depressed. If I stay and call them out on it, I am causing the problem. And they are calling my doctors and telling them I am acting crazy and need to be on antidepressants again. I know my time is limited so I would like to travel a little while I am still able now that I can afford to. He has absolutely forbidden it. He won’t go with me to the movies or a museum or anything fun, but I am depressed? Timing of this with my inheritance is quite suspicious. Quite suspicious indeed.

August 13, 2013 at 4:26 pm
(254) Brush says:

I wonder if other meds can have this effect? I’m not taking any SSRI, but I have noted an inability to feel love for anyone, even my grandchildren. I thought it was a side effect from electroconvulsive therapy i had several years ago. I did not react well at all. I lost memories of everyday things, like where I kept my coats, and of some past events. I was just looking online to see if maybe I had some kind of brain injury, but now I’m thinking about a med I started shortly after the ECT.

August 30, 2013 at 10:06 am
(255) Vespa25 says:

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and are both in our early 20′s. At the start of July he was put on Prozac. Six weeks into it the side effects were unbearable. He said he felt happier but he had lost all sense of love, passion and libido. Some days I felt like I didn’t even know him anymore.

I became very sad and frustrated. Initially I thought I was just missing sex. He hadn’t been able to get an erection or even wanted sex with me for over a month. He used to have a healthy, normal sex drive (slightly lower than mine but nothing major) as surprisingly his depression didn’t impact that apart from occasional weeks when he was severely down. I’ve been crying myself to sleep every night and have realised that it isn’t sex I’m missing, it’s just ANY form of love. He barely touches me and pulls away when I go to kiss him.

About 10 days ago he ceased prozac. He has now started taking Bupropion/Wellbutrin (an SNRI rather than SSRI). In the last few days he has shown me more affection, holding my hand through choice and not pulling away from me. He also said he feels more loving, has started to have some sexual thoughts and may be able to have sex again soon.

It’s all just a bit depressing for me and the last 8 weeks have been hell and he’s moving to Italy to work for 9 months in 3 weeks time :(

September 11, 2013 at 12:51 pm
(256) Paul says:

I have a question for those who took SSRIs and their relationship ended a short time later. What is going through your mind at these periods? Do you consciously know that the person is getting frustrated and the SSRI keeps you from caring? Do you care but you just can’t seem to motivate yourself to do anything about it? Or are these all conscious decisions to let the person leave out of your life? Based on what I am reading, it seems that those on the drugs are aware of what’s going on and know enough to change their prescription, get off the drug, get therapy instead, etc, so what within the drug keeps you from letting the love of your life walk away?

I only ask because my girlfriend and I were looking at houses just about a month and a half ago, then she went on Zoloft and then she isolated herself. No attempts to call, text, or make plans. Whenever I call asking to see her, it’s always the same answer, “I don’t feel like it.” All she does is stay home and not talk to anyone or do anything.

September 20, 2013 at 11:18 am
(257) Jo says:

Paul- The lucky people are the ones that realize the meds are causing their feelings to change. Most do not know until it is to late that the meds cause such a dramatic change in feelings. Your gf may be depressed hence her lack of wanting to do anything, however, remember these medications lessen All feelings. Only after I left my husband of 22 years and decided I didnt want to pay for these meds (Zoloft) any longer did all my love feelings come back for him. I am one of those who is working on my marriage and hoping it is not to late. I did taper my meds and once my dosage was 1/2 I feel again. It is good and bad and definitely not easy. Show your gf this site which may be helpful.

September 20, 2013 at 1:44 pm
(258) Mark says:

Paul

Unless you can stop her taking the medication, you may be too late. I lost my partner to SSRIs when she became ‘emotionally blunted’, and at first she understood that the medication was responsible, but very quickly, as the ‘Medication Spellbinding’ took over, she became dismissive and then hostile towards me. I was (and still am) heartbroken, 9 months later. My ex now has no interest whatsoever in me, despite me trying to contact her. I can only hope that one day she will come off her medication, and remember how she was once in love with me.

September 22, 2013 at 2:08 am
(259) Pronnect says:

Try magic mushrooms, they’ll raise your dopamine levels… There’s research from the UK to back it too

October 2, 2013 at 8:48 pm
(260) rex says:

This all seems to familiar!

Does anyone know how long it takes to regain that sense of love after you have lost it?

October 9, 2013 at 6:46 pm
(261) Jessy says:

I have been madly in love with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years and just recently started taking Zoloft to cope with him moving an hour away to college. My anxiety was bad and I found myself crying all the time because I missed him. I started tAking 25 mg of Zoloft for about a month a and I didn’t see much of a change so my doctor bumped me up to 50 mg. about a week after I started the 50 mg I had all of the same feelings everyone is talking about. I questioned myself if I loved my boyfriend or if I was just for in myself too. I am currently weaning myself of of the medicine because I don’t want Zoloft to ruin my relationship. I am just worried that my feelings won’t go bak to normal once I stop taking Zoloft. I know I love my boyfriend more than anything that’s why I’m so upset about this. Can anyone help?! I just hate feeling upset and I don’t know what to do.

October 10, 2013 at 6:16 pm
(262) Dorie Loveall says:

I losts all my feelings after taking zolf for a month back in 2010. And I walked out on. A 27 yr marrieg to my best friend. We rarely fought and I truely loved him and planned on us bieng together until one or both of us died. I loved my life, my kids, my grandkids. But after I started taking the zolof I started doing things out of caracture and soon I didntnt care about anyone or anything and walked out on my life. I. Didn’t feel like there was anything wrong with me at the time although my family said that there was and erged me to go back to the doctor I wouldn’t go, and I ended up losing everthing that ever meant anything to me. After leaving and going through the divorce I. Stopped taking the drug and about a month after I stopped, I started to gain my feelings back and by then it was to late. The damage had already been done. Now I go through moments of tears and more depresson daily when I think about what I let go of because of this drug.sometimes I spend hours crying oveer it. But there is nothing I can do to ever get my life back that I loved. There is no amount of money or anything that could ever compensate for what I lost. My whole life and everyone in my families lives

was ripped appart. It has been over three yeara sice this happend and I still feel sadness daily over this. So many times since then, I have felt like ending my life just so I wouldn’t have to remember the wonderful life that we all shared as a family and can never get that back again. I would give anything for this to all go away and never of happend. I’m angry, but mostly sad. I think about my grand kids that won’t know what it was like to have there grandma and grandpa together and know what a wonderful life we shared as a family. So if you or someone you know is going through depressson and is put on medication and they lose there feelings of love and ability to cry. Check out the drugs that they were prescribed before anything else.

October 18, 2013 at 12:14 pm
(263) catw75 says:

I’ve only just realised why two of my relationships went wrong. In the first it was me taking Paroxetine. In the second, it was my partner taking Prozac. Then I was planning a date with someone lovely I recently met online and he’d just gone onto Citalopram, and just when we were due to meet his feelings vanished overnight. It was disappointing but he was the first person I’d spoken to who actually had some insight into what was going on and explained the phenomenon to me. Since then I’ve read a lot of stuff online and ended up here. And I’m sorry to learn just how many people are affected by this.

I wish doctors would warn people of this risk and I wish that prescriptions of dopamine stimulants were offered alongside SSRIs as a matter of course to prevent people’s relationships being ruined. Surely the last thing people with depression need is for their love lives to be affected in this way :(

December 7, 2013 at 5:40 pm
(264) JC says:

I have felt this way for bout 8 months now since I had started taking Celexa at 20mg. I cannot feel emotion or feelings for others. I have a girl friend and we have been dating for about 3 months. I feel like I have no sympathy or feelings toward her some times. I also have a very low sex drive but when she has a high sex drive it will get me in the mood for sex. Is this normal? I am now taking 10 mg per day and my doctor told me I can reduce my dose for the next 6 weeks to nothing seeing as my depression and anxiety are mostly gone.

December 20, 2013 at 12:32 pm
(265) Susie says:

I have had this same problem, and I blame it for the breakdown of my previous relationship; my fiance realized my lack of warmth and emotions and was put off by it, he had no idea I’m on SSRI’s.

I realize that they really changed my emotional responses, even now I just feel emptiness and not a deep sadness after the breakdown of our relationship.

When we met 9 months ago I was a deeply sensitive person but that changed 2 months into the regimen, my personality started changing and it startled him.

I hope that eventually I can go back to the person I was, I’m currently being weaned off the drug so I hope the changes aren’t structural changes in the brain.

I honestly feel like I’d prefer being depressed and capable of deep feelings than no feelings at all.

February 12, 2014 at 6:38 am
(266) Jesse V says:

I’m really glad that I stumbled on these comments and this page. I have a similar experience with my ex-girlfriend falling out of love with me.

We were dating for 4 months, and in that time, the relationship was everything that she and I wanted. Her parents told me that they had never seen her so happy in her life.

About a month into the relationship, she told me that she had PTSD from being sexually assaulted two years ago, and that she saw a therapist once a week. She was on SSRIs, as well as Xanex, and medication for ADD. She never told me what specific SSRI she was taking, but she told me that it was a low dosage. She also told me that when the doctors tried taking her off the anti-depressants, that she had a bad reaction and became emotionally unstable.

I wasn’t worried about it because I loved her and I assured her that I would be there for her, and that I was happy that she confided in me. She had been taking SSRIs a year before she even met me, so there was no cause for concern on my part.

About two weeks ago, she asked me about the number of people that I had slept with, and when I told her, she reacted badly by crying. I had never seen her cry from anything that I said. She was a virgin and was saving herself for marriage. Aside from kissing, our relationship never became overly sexual, as she told me that sex was something she did not like thinking about, and I fully respected her feelings.

It seemed like things were different after that conversation, and within 4 days of that conversation, she told me that she did not love me anymore. It was like a switch had turned just turned off. I couldn’t find a rational explanation for her decision, especially considering that she was a very understanding and level-headed human being, and when I search for answers, the only logical conclusion I can come to is that my girlfriend fell out of love with me due to SSRI anti-depressants.

February 17, 2014 at 6:58 pm
(267) Michael says:

It really depends on what medication you are taking. On Lexapro I was a complete Zombie and felt nothing for others. However on Welbutrin I feel amazing and have a full sexual, emotional and driven life. It is like night and day. For others it is the opposite. I took Lexapro for 5 years and was not myself. I encourage others who are feeling estranged from life not to give up and to just try another medication. Lexapro is not bad, it was just not what I needed. It may be right for others, it was just not for me. Depression is different from person to person and so is the medication. If your current drug is not working then try something different. You are not going to get it right the first time,

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(268) Hassie says:

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(270) Top Dating Tips says:

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March 23, 2014 at 5:12 am
(271) Becky says:

My husband was prescribed 100mg of Zoloft for work stress and within two months he turned from a kind, loving husband to a cold uncaring zombie who said he no longer loved me. We’d been together 8 years and before this we had been very happy and very close so it came as a complete shock.

He’s been off them for 3 months now and he still isn’t the man I used to know and has now left. These drugs have the potential to destroy lives and people should have a right to know what damage they can cause before people decided to take them. If anyone has gone through a similar experience I would love to hear from them my email address is bpmoore33@yahoo.co.uk

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