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How To Heal a Broken Heart

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Updated August 06, 2013

The pain of an ended relationship is one of those universal experiences that we all share. There's no easy way to get through it, but these steps may help.
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: Varies

Here's How:

  1. It's okay to grieve for a time. Seek support from your friends and family as you come to terms with the changes in your life.
  2. Don't look at past relationships as failures, but rather as opportunities to learn and improve your relationship skills.
  3. Don't worry that you're not in a relationship. Your value comes from who you are, not who you're with.
  4. You don't have to be a recluse just because you aren't a couple. Treat yourself to an evening out doing something you enjoy. Take along a friend if it's not a solo activity.
  5. Treat yourself to a special gift now and then. You are a special person and you deserve it.
  6. There's more to life than romantic love. Take this opportunity to nurture your friends, family and self.
  7. Take some time to reevaluate what you need in a relationship. Have you been choosing partners who are not capable of a loving and mature relationship?
  8. Be willing to take another chance on love. Like they say, you can't win if you don't play.
  9. Be a friend to yourself. If you care about yourself, the odds are better you will attract those you care about you too.
  10. If you're finding it hard to let go of a relationship, you may need to seek counseling. An obsessive need to be with someone who no longer wants a relationship may be a sign of love addiction.
  11. Avoid jumping into a rebound relationship. Take some time to work through all the issues from your previous one.
  12. Don't try to get revenge. This will only slow your progress in healing from the hurt.
  13. Forgive yourself. You can't change the past, but you can learn from your mistakes and not repeat them.
  14. Forgive your partner. This doesn't mean that you are saying what happened is okay. What it means is cutting your losses and not investing any more time or energy in something that hurts you.

Tips:

  1. Church groups, volunteer activities, and university lectures are just a few ideas for meeting new people in a safe environment.
  2. Get a makeover, join a gym or start a diet. As you improve your health and appearance, your self-esteem will rise.
  3. Repeating daily affirmations can help you to regain confidence in yourself.
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