How to Stop Putting Pressure on Yourself

Does it ever feel like no matter how much you do or how much you accomplish, it's never enough? We face enough stress in life without putting more on ourselves, but that's exactly what many of us do, sometimes without even realizing it. Learning how to stop putting pressure on yourself means you won't always feel exhausted, disappointed, and stressed when you fail to meet your own impossibly high standards.

The first step toward easing off of yourself is to realize when you might be making things harder on yourself unnecessarily. Many of us fall into a cycle of self-imposed pressure—we feel like we should be more perfect, productive, and successful. The problem is that this relentless pressure can seriously affect our physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

The good news is that you don't have to keep living that way. When you recognize the signs, you can stop the self-sabotage and become your strongest ally in stress relief. Here are some of the best ways to make the most of your life and cut down on self-imposed stress.

Understand High Achievement vs. Perfectionism

So, how do we know when we are putting too much pressure on ourselves? The trick is to recognize the difference between being a high achiever and a perfectionist.

Many people slip into perfectionistic habits, not realizing that there is a better way to do their best without beating themselves along the way. Many perfectionists, on some level, believe that they need to attain perfection or they have failed; this belief can not only lead to stress, it can actually lead to less success than the attitude of a regular high-achiever! 

Perfectionism is often more a form of self-sabotage than an asset. When it comes to stress, "do your best" is better than "be perfect." In the long run, it's healthier as well.  

Are You a Perfectionist? Take the Quiz

Our fast and free perfectionist quiz can help you determine if your behavior suggests that you are a perfectionist:

Balance Being a Hard Worker and Type A Behavior

Working hard can lead to less stress if it translates into greater resources and a sense of accomplishment. "Type A" behavior, which can be associated with an extreme version of a strong work ethic, on the other hand, can be hard on your mental and physical health, as well as your relationships. 

Of course, letting go of some of these tendencies is often easier said than done. You may not be able to change your personality, but you can soften the edges and shift your focus toward being more relaxed, and that can make all the difference.

Lead a Balanced Life

Leading a full life is great, but if you don't live a balanced life, you can feel too stressed, too much of the time. How can you draw the line between being excitedly busy and overwhelmed? 

You can start by paying attention to how you feel at the end of the day, at the end of a weekend (when you're about to start a new week with new challenges), and taking a careful look at your life to see if you have enough time for maintaining self-care activities on a regular basis, including:

• Engaging in regular exercise
• Getting enough sleep
• Nurturing relationships
  

Think Like an Optimistic, Not a Pessimist

Sometimes, people are afraid of positive thinking, mistakenly likening it to a mental trick where you ignore important problems or valuable cues in life, and eventually, make mistakes that bring even more stress. 

One of the best positive thinking strategies you can adopt is optimistic thinking, which is a specific pattern of thinking that allows you to focus your attention on the accomplishments that maximize your confidence and allow you to do your best in the future.

Allow Yourself to Feel, Then Feel Better

You may have heard that it's not healthy to "stuff your emotions" or to deny you feel the way you feel. This is true. 

A more effective way to help yourself through stressful times is to become more aware of how you feel and why by journaling, talking things out with a close friend, or talking to a therapist if necessary, and then working toward engaging in activities that will give you a healthy emotional lift and moving on.

Accept Your Weaknesses, and Everyone Else's

One of the most effective ways to stop putting pressure on yourself is to just give yourself a break. You can also relieve stress by giving everyone else a break as well. How can you do this?

• Try not to take things personally.
• Don't hold onto grudges.
• Try to see the best in people by understanding how things may feel from their perspective. 
• Learn to forgive yourself and others for past mistakes. 

There are many effective ways to do this, but loving-kindness meditation incorporates the highly effective stress management tool of meditation in a way that helps lift your mood and help you relax.

Takeaways

It's tough to stop putting pressure on yourself. You might even be afraid that if you relax a bit, things will fall apart. But putting less pressure on yourself can be key to feeling better and living a better life.

If you're feeling the pressure and are struggling to let go, consider reaching out for professional help. Talking to a therapist may help you put less pressure on yourself so you can get the most out of life.