When it comes to communicating with children, using open-ended questions to facilitate a discussion may be helpful -- especially for children with depression.
A depressed child may be withdrawn, shy, anxious, or embarrassed about opening up. A simple tool like using open-ended questions will help facilitate the conversation rather than produce just 'Yes' or 'No' answers.
Close VS Open-Ended Examples
Using open-ended questions can take some getting used to, but once you get the hang of it you may be surprised at the thoughtful answers you receive.
- "How was your day today?" v. "Tell me about your day today."
- "Do you need something?" v. "What can I do to help you?"
- "What's Wrong?" v. "Tell me about what is bothering you?"
- "How do you feel?" v. "Tell me about how the medication is making you feel."
- "Are you nervous about attending therapy?" v. "Tell me how you are feeling about going to therapy."
Checking In
After listening for a few minutes make a point to check in and make sure that you understand what your child is telling you. This assures that you are accurately hearing her and not make assumptions. Additionally it allows her to clarify and elaborate on her thoughts.
For Example: "So I think you said that you are nervous about going to therapy because you don't know what to expect and you don't want to talk to a stranger, is that right?"
If your child senses that you are truly interested in what she is saying and taking the time to understand her, she is more likely to come to you and talk in the future. Talking about your feelings can be extremely helpful --- especially for children with depression.
Sources:
Virginia Satir. The New Peoplemaking. Paolo Alto, California: Science and Behavior Books, Inc.; 1988.
William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick. Motivational Interviewing: Preparing People For Change, Second Edition. New York, NY: Guilford Press; 2002.
