I'm so lost with what to do now
- My family and I have been through a tough road since I was a kid, from being homeless to my father's mental issues and alcoholism effecting all of our lives. I've been so depressed for years, but it's just gotten so much worse lately at a time when it should be better now that we have a home, but i'm too worried and stressed and things are still messed up all of the time, emotionally. Lately i've felt so alone because none of my friends that i used to hang out with everyday talk to me and the ones who do are sick of me because i'm lifeless now. My depression is effecting everyone around me and it's only making me more depressed. I have trouble eating and sleeping. I feel sick to my stomach 90% of the time. I NEED HELP, but i don't know where to turn to. I don't have health insurance and i can't afford to see a professional. I see no way out and I don't know how to change that.
- —Guest Silent
This will be the death of me
- Got into drugs in high school as a way of dealing with my depression. Ended up getting kicked out half way through my senior year. Separated from all my friends, thrown into another high school where i didn't know anyone, facing 4 counts of felony. Over a year and a half later and my court case still hangs over my head, a constant reminder of the mistakes i've made. I don't know if i'll ever be able to forgive myself. I was such a smart kid, i could've done anything i put my mind to but i threw it all away. My depression led to drugs, which led to a more painful depression. I feel caught in a vicious cycle with no way out. I no longer find even miniscule enjoyment in the things i used to love so deeply. To the causal onlooker i appear as happy as anyone else, but beneath the surface I'm lost, I'm alone, I'm screaming my head off going insane but no one can hear me. i can't let it go, and it tears me apart from the inside leaving nothing but a hollow empty shell.
- —Guest that doesnt really matter
On a thin line
- I have been struggling with depression for a long time since I was a young child. I have epilepsy since I was 10 and now I am 31. I have grand mal seizures. I have been divorced twice two children with first husband that was my highschool sweetheart, we were married for 4.5years and together for 12. I am sad bc I am a non custodial mom now on disability and living in the past. I wish everyday and agonized over what I wish I could of done to safe my marriage even though I left bc it was controlling and abusive. Sometimes I wish I left before I had kids and my life may of been different. I went to a university and studied fashion merchandising which really got me nowhere except working in retail for min wage. I have been in out of the hospital for depression, psychosis, and a Suicide attempt over all my losses and tradegies. My family has been listening to me day in and out over my sadness and losses of a marriage, kids, car, home,financial stability of my ex. What can I say
- —Guest Depresseddes
trying to get out of it
- Have health problem and depressed. Just got back to work trying to get back on my feet. Whenever i feel down and negative i try to think of someone who cares me and what i have that make me happy. Reason your mind is important. I am still trying very hard...talk to God. Try to do one step at a time and be active. Talking to people without show them who you are right now is hard.
- —Guest zz
mid life depression
- im 38 years old and just fill like my life is in a spirial. its like i can't get ahead on my bills.my kids always need something im always try to help people and get no help in return. on top of all that i just found out im going to be a grandmother.i am the one that people listen too but who can i talk to. tell me thats it is going to be ok. i do have a friend he cant help me. he is not a good listener.are maybe i just don' fil like i can open up to him the way i need to so at this point what should i do. its been 12 yr since my big brother got killed , why am i missing him so much now. i think one reason is because i could tell him anything and he would make sure everything is all right. my parent are haveing problems i can't help them i just don't know what to do.i keep teeling my self that it is going to get better. but when. i think it getting worst i find my self crying after i just blow off the handle. thats not normal. i dont want to go out because i easily upset over the smal
- —Guest help less
I AM Really in Depression
- i am from a poor family.. I grew up with lot of problems... Now i am 21 and really facing a bad times in life.. I am sudying engineering.. I am the topper in the college... From last 3 months i have been applying for jobs in various companies.. I have been rejected in the 1st round of interview.. I am in depression.. I dont sleep or sleep for 14-15hrs.. I cry a lot and feel like i am a waste man in the world.. My entire family depends and me and i am not able to get job.. I studied hard for job became topper but i am not able to get job..There is no moral support for me and day by day i am getting depressed.. No interest in studies and i am lost.. Felling like commiting suicide.. All hardwork of my went in vain...
- My bf and father of my son(not biological )told me tonight he's not in love w me anymore cause I just went thru a miscarriage and he said its my fault and that's the reason he doesn't love me. I feel hopeless and scared of the future. He's all I have and all I wanted. What do I do?
- —Guest cole
I just want to want to carry on...
- Every day I think depression, bored suicide and insomnia. I always feel tired and some of my favourite thing I use to enjoy arnt fun anymore, I don't usually get to sleep until about 01:00 in the morning even though I'm tired, I often think about suicide, the other day I was contemplating taking a pile of paracetimal just because I thought it would be better that way, but I don't always feel like this, it comes in waves, so sometimes I feel really happy, but my thoughts are still racing so much I can barely think. what's going on. Is it noel for a 15 year old boy to think this, is it just stress of school or is it serving else,y parents split up when I was only 1 but I don't think that it has effected me in that way, I also find my self being bored of the concept of our civilisation, and sometimes , well more than sometimes I believe that the world would be souch more fun if it was in a post apocalyptic state or there was less control. Am I crazy, because I feel like I am right now...
- —Guest Sam
Is this consider depression?
- Im a female. Was been raped daily when im 7 by nanny's son. Parent too afraid to call cop. Horror stopped when im 8. We shifted house. Now im 25, im a lesbian since young, life wasnt as smooth as i wan it. Gf left me a my thinking is too explicit. Everyday i have no mood to work.juz wanna hide under blanket, hate crowds, no interest in doin anything. Only wan be with my gf. With her company, i feel better. But she betrayed me, she lied to me and had a bf actually. I spent over $30k on her. Im left with nothing. Parent kept saying im stupid im lazy im wadeva. I felt so useless. Cried till the tear dried up. I wan to die. If i die eeryhing solve. Dont bullshit say teres pple loved me. Nobody does. Nobody!
- —Guest Yvonne
Sweet 16 :(
- I spend my whole life disappointed. Disappointment from my family, friends, and even myself. I've made big changes in my life and no one seem to like it! The only person who is close to me is my dad, and there are days where I don't even want to see his face. I am the youngest of 5 children. From what I hear, I'm suppose to be drowned in joy. I'm suppose to have my parents wrapped around my fingers. The truth is that my brothers and sisters failed them in some way, and now the pressure is put on me! I can't even count the times I had mental breakdowns. The one thing I do the most of now is twitch. Every time I think of them, I twitch. When I see people smile, I just want to take a knife and take that smile off of their faces! I vision myself taking a gun and leaving this miserable world just like Kurt Cobain. I'm tired of seeing the people around me receive all the love. I'm the only one who know that they don't deserve it! I'm the one who need it, but I don't know if I really want it.
- I am so so tired of my depression. It is so very very pervasive and continuous. It comes and goes and comes and goes each time leaving me more and more exhausted. I am two people: the me that is happy and outgoing and the me that is depressed and its exhausting. I am so so very tired.
- depression hurts. i was in a terrible car accident my junior year of high school. i was in the hospital and rehab for a few months. i had a traumatic brain injury.. i had to learn everything again.. walk talk you name it i've learned..again. i lost all my friends when i came back to school. it was rele hard for me. my "best friend" was the driver. we no longer talk. i know she feels guilty but she hurt me most jus by not being my friend. i finally talked to my mom about getting on an anti depressant. it has helped tons and its affordable. this month [september] is rele hard for me i'm vey emotial because four years ago.. my life totally flipped around. but i've found who my true friends are.. the ones that stuck by myside even after everything i had been through. they were there to help me but i was always sad because all i wanted was my best friend back.. hopefully someday soon i can put this all in the past.. it's changed me forever..
- —Guest Chloe
- I am 21. I've suffered from depression and anxiety since I was sixteen. The one time I saw a doctor, I was told off for been immature and my mother was told the only reason I was acting 'off' was that I wanted to avoid school. I'm going back tomorrow. Haven't a clue what I'll say, but I'm doing it. Finally.
- —Guest Someone
i will survive
- i have been battling depression my entire life. I finally came face to face with it about 10yrs ago. I tried medications. Did not like how they changed me while they helped me. So after some deep thinking i found what works for me. I had always heard about people's triggers. What makes them depressed? I turned the trigger question around. What makes me happy,puts a smile on my face. I have many happy triggers now. But sometimes i still lose the fight but only for a short time. I have learned for every high there is a low,for every low there is a high. Maybe not right that instant but it is coming.
- Im 13 and around my friends I seem happy but when I go to bed I feel worthless. Last year the girl I loved started to hate me for rumors she thought I spread. We always were together she was kind,caring,respectful, and hot. The only thing that keeps me going is rise against songs. My friend Ted was the only one of my friends to notice my few signs of depression. But he's going to move in with his dad so I wont see him anymore. I can't really tell anyone how I feel because no one is around to talk. I often think of suicide, but then I start drawing and postpone those thoughts.
- —Guest Mike