- i have suffered with this darkness in my soul since i was 5 yrs old, i had a mental breakdown when my grandfather died, i was 5 at the time, no one at school liked me and i didnt understand them. All my life i have never wanted to get close to anyone, someone gets to close and i back off, i am sick of my boyfriend and just want him to go, i dont love him and my depression is back with avengence. my life seems to have no meaning, dont want to go out, dont care what i look like, i find joy in nothing anymore but i smile and pretend and i dont want to anymore, my medications are just keeping me from falling off the edge ~ yes my soul feels tired now and has had enough of this world..........
Feeling too far gone for help
- I've been begging my husband to move. He has witnessed by depression and almost 3 complete yrs. of bedrest. I know our children will never be the same because of the harm, we've done to them, primarily me. But I have gotten on my knees, begging and pleading for help, in-house placement, and when I felt I couldn't get him to understand just how sick I was, I tried to take my life 3 times. He promises we'll move, but he's put it off for 5 years, and I'm holding on by a thread. I know he loves, me but he's not in love. He doesn't talk to me, say goodnight, or want to spend time with me, except when he want's his needs fulfilled, and we are great together, but I am so far gone, and I do want a chance with my children, to rebuild some kind of a life, with or without my husband. He has everything, as I am now disaabled, losing my vision, and have chronic nerve damage. I see no purpose in life, as there is just a shell of a woman of who I used to be, and I don't ever see me getting back.
- —Guest what is my worth, Tom
Feeling too far gone for help
- I'm in my late 40's. Blessed w/a great husband. 12 yrs of infertility should have been the only cross we had to bear, but so much more happened. We experienced loss, my being diagnosed w/cancer, radical hysterectomy, wchich caused my hormones to cause me to go crazy. Finally, I learned I wam going blind, and have a chronic nerve condition. The pain is unbearable and requires meds. I stayed strong for 5 yrs, but when I was told I was losing my vision, my world fell apart. Since, I've been in bed for most of 5 yrs. I hate the little town we moved to, which we thought would make life easier. My husband likes it hear, as well as the our 3 miracle children, but I'm lost, alone, and my husband doesn't seem to care, or want to move to help me w/my issues. I've tried to take my life 3 times, as I see no reason to go on, esp. if my husband doesn't care, and my children are wrapped around his love and life. I am highly educated, talented, but what does that mnatter, now.
- —Guest jo
- I'm only a 15 years old girl that's been dealing with depression for the last 3 painful years. I live in a little old town that is just full of fakes and clones. I feel so weird. I hum classical music (mozart, bach, hayden) play piano, paint, write, read, and get great grades. Everyone else are just smokers and drinkers because there's nothing to do in this old ,boring, depressing, full of lies town. They make this place to be like a dream full of good kids and a safe haven but it's all a lie. Unfortunately, my parents believe it all. They don't understand why I'm so sad and I already went to therapy. I really don't want to go back but every where I go it's just so depressing. I cry every week just think of my life and think of ways to waste away or die. I tried committing suicide so many times but I know that'll just hurt some people. Everything seems like it's going fine in my life but I know I'm so disastisfied with being lonely. I even took up smoking weed just to numb the pain.
- —Guest Just Depressed
- I'm 56. Now disabled. Used to be bread winner! NOW what!
- —Guest vacmet
i feel like killing myself
- i am really tired of life and i feel if not for my kids i will be gone i long time ago.i really very sad everyday and i dont want to leave.
- —Guest mary
hang in there!!
- i hate these three words, because it's so hard to 'hang in there'. but that, in my over three years of struggle with severe depression, has always emerged as the only way out. at the risk of sounding cliched, i want to use the anaogy of depression being a tunnel...that we will come out of one day...it's very dark in here, lonely, hopeless and unstable. it's so hard to keep the faith when there is no hope in sight. loved ones are being affected adversely by our condition and they try very hard to help us and yet we feel uncared for by them and complain..leading to more guilt and shame. communication is the key to resolving some of the issues that make us lonely. it's a long, hard and lonely battle. all of us seem to be in different stages of our depression, but for all of us, one thing holds true - there is light at the end of the tunnel and suicide is not the answer.
i miss who i used to be..
- I'm a 16 year old girl and I'm depressed. my father has had depression, my brother, and now I seem to have all the symptoms. I'm physically and mentally exhausted, I can't get out of bed and go to school because school just doesn't seem worth it. About four months ago my boyfriend dumped me out of nowhere. He was my first everything. Not only did i loose my boyfriend, but i also lost a bestfriend. After he broke up with me i started abusing drugs because i wasn't sure how to cope with it. I was okay for awhile but now the depression has gotten worse. After missing almost two weeks of school because i have no motivation to go i might be forced to switch schools entirely. I'm so overwhelmed. I'm not on medication because my dad doesn't want me on them but i really don't see any other option. Is it normal that i'm missing so much school? I sometimes question myself. I'm also not confident at all and find myself easily jealous of friends and others looks. I just can't do this anymore. :(
- —Guest brighteyes
- I'm too alone. I don't have friends, boyfriend. I'm happy only because I have a good job,
- —Guest Ricky
Depression Success Stories
- Hello everyone, I just recovered from my depression which occurring for 3 months! The way I've overcomed it by controlling my thoughts and emotions. A crucial step is to aware and take an initiative to heal yourself. Second step: acknowledge your negative feelings. Just close your eyes, feel your negative feeling, acknowledge it by talking to yourself by naming your negative emotions, Example: when I experiencing sadness, I would say: "Sadness, why are you sad?" "Please come to me now so I can feel you,love you, console you and love you so that I can let you go". After I saying those words within me,I feel more calm, relaxed and there's no negativity emotions playing with you. Second step: I look in the mirror and say, "I Love You,Sandy" (which is me) in the mirror everyday for a month. Third step: I read religious, spiritual and websearching about ways to heal and of course meditation. Hope my advice will help you out. If I can survive it, so can you!
- —Guest Sandy
Sunshine with a chance of rain
- I just dealt with a back stabbing best friend for the second time in a year. I have decided that I will NOT continue this relationship; BFD! Sick of crying about it and unable to enjoy anything. I am vacationing in Hawaii and have not been able to leave my hotel room for 4 days. Waiting for this to pass, because I love to swim and beach comb, explore sunny places and talk to total strangers. Havn't gotten dressed. I am brushing my teeth and bathing but it is a chore. Just needed to vent and admit it! I have not told anyone back home because I am ashamed that I can't handle this:( There, I said it!
- —Guest Kimberly
- im 19 with a 6 month old and since she was born ive had dhs andbeen in nd out of court the father my bf cant live withme o r be near his daughter cause of an incidednt that they blame on him. i no he didnt go it and i dnt no how they think he did with no evidence since this has happened i cry alot and think my life will never get better, it feels like someone has hit me in the chest and it wont stop hurting..
- —Guest pj
depression and alone
- ive gt two kids im on my own. ive just not long broke up with my chap as he chucked me up the wall with my second kid. hes 4 weeks old havent had much support. my exs mum has my 3 year old every friday so wish she didnt i really cant be arsed to do anythink. i always shout at ben even though he trying to help. i feel like ive bin on my own since i was 15. never had no support of any 1as parents left i bin on streets gt almost raped bt managed to run away. the only thing i wanted was to be a better mum then my mum how can i be when im so low. am i dealing with depression ?
- —Guest amie
I had lost my love.
- I m ali i lived in agra. many times i had try to do commit suicide by putting me in front of train. now i don't want to live more but don't why god always do with me every time i m upset and very much depressed some times that i m alone in this furad world now i hate with "love " word and many other reasons behind this. i realy dont no that when i vl get suicide.
- —Guest Ali
depression is terrible
- Everything in life is basically okay. I have a loving, caring family, friends and fiancee. I know the Lord loves me and has saved me. Redardless, I dread getting out of bed every morning. I am happy to have relationships but am overwhelmed by the effort of maintaining them. I feel guilty, worthless, lazy, ashamed, selfish, and hopeless. I keep trying to find a solution that will make things better. Being depressed is like being tortured. The things in life like exercise, relationships with friends and family, healthy eating, regular sleep schedule, and getting things done and maintaining responsibilities all make me feel very depressed because they are so hard. It so hard to do even the simplest things. There seems to be no solution. All I want is the pain and hopelessness to end. I want to stay in my room in bed all day every day and never come out ever again. I do not know what to do.
- —Guest depression is terrible