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Readers Respond: What Do They Feel Like?

Responses: 341

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Updated December 10, 2011

From the article: Top 9 Depression Symptoms

You are probably familiar with depression symptoms, such as a depressed mood and a loss of interest in activities that you previously enjoyed, but what does it really feel like to have depression?

One of the depression symptoms that really stood out for me was a feeling of heaviness in my body. I would sit down to play piano, which was something that had always given me a lot of joy, and it felt like I had weights attached to my arms, making a previously enjoyable activity feel like it was just too much effort.

What do your depression symptoms feel like to you?

I need help

Since I was young I've been sad, wondering why I was always sad. I end relationships, and friendships because my mind tells me too. I get so sad that I just want to end it all. I feel like I don't fit in here, my grades are horrible and the only thing I really like to do is work so I can get out of the house and try and get my mind off of it. As a little girl I was adopted by my step mom, then things went down, she hit me, ripped out my hair, took a knife to me, threatened me with a gun. Told me I was a little bitch and I would never be anything in this world. I ruin everything because I get so sad each day.. My memory is horrible after trying to erase things, my attention is worse, yet I can't get help until I'm 18 in 3 months and I'm scared of it all. After everything I'm scared people will just say I'm trying to get attention or believe it's just cuz I'm a teenager. There is really something wrong..
—Guest Heather

I feel sick.

I am so sick and tired. I can't get out of bed in the morning. All I can do is cry in the shower. I'm so ashamed to tell anyone. No one would understand. Just a few months ago I was happy and carefree. I had it all. Now all I can think of is dying. I don't know what's going to happen. Tonight I was told to die by my own mother. I have no one. My brother left me today, my dad doesn't come home, and my mother yells at me everyday. I have nothing to live for, nothing ahead of me.
—Guest Guest

Weird Feeling

I had a miscarriage almost 2months ago now and I went through the motions.. feeling ok, then realisation and crying... then I started getting better feeling positive.. but this week suddenly I feel weird, I can't place it.. it's as though someone is sitting on my chest. I feel overwhelmed with doom and gloom and I can't shake it, I am not thinking about what happenend or trying to depress myself yet I have this heavyness over me.. is this normal, I just want to be myself again...
—Guest Hope

A black, dead heart

I genuinely used to be a very positive, upbeat person. I have just broken up with my partner - something I have wanted to do for a very long time. He, thank god, has reacted incredibly, turning the change into a positive. I am in awe. I, on the other hand, have turned in on myself. I am shutting down, ignoring messages, emails and phone calls from friends. I am not talking to colleagues at work when I don't absolutely have to. I have very bad, hateful feelings towards everyone around me, most of all myself. This is not the first time I've experienced it to this extreme; I feel useless and black. I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up. Have thought about ways of killing myself without it looking like suicide, just a tragic accident. Such middle class problems, it's disgusting, utterly pathetic and sickeningly self-indulgent. I hate me. I don't have the capacity to love anyone, not even myself or even my own mother. I am a spiteful, self serving person, devoid of genuineness.
—Guest Ashamed

Paranoid unhappy

I sm soo unhappy want to cry am so paranoid everything gets to me I always think the worst people are talking about me saying things please help ne escape this dark Lonley place I want to explode am so angry I want to be happy I want to stop feeling paranoid I want to be happy help me please help me I want to be happy
—Guest Lila

I'm 15

I'm 15 and about to leave school in 2 and a half days. I feel like I'm falling apart. I feel like no one cares and that no one would miss me if I died. Somedays its just pain and others I'm just empty. I can't remember the last time I was happy. I self harm and have attempted suicide 3 times, each time they bring me back... I just can't take it anymore. I hate being around people and avoid going out as much as possible. I just wish that I was normal. None of my friends are like this. I'm ready to die because I can't take the pain anymore.
—Guest Shauna

Being thankful while your depressed

I am 18 years old and people always think i have this great life and I should be thankful but to be honest i do not have the happnest to apreciate. I take a antidepressant and talk to somebody but i feel like i'll never be able to have that happiness or love from my parents. Plus my parents always say that "oh hope this lady is going to fix you because we're payng alot of money"
—Guest Kim

Childless mother

I have had depression throughout my life. Was on medication for 7 years then decided I didn't need them anymore. I had been ok for a while. I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy Lucas but had him too early on in the pregnancy so he didn't survive. I held him in my arms for 15 minutes until his heart stopped beating. That's when I died with him, the only difference is my heart kept beating. I feel like my body failed me, I feel like I failed him. It was my job as his mother to keep him safe and I couldn't do that. I just want to go and be with him. The thought of living the rest of my miserable life without him makes me feel sick. I have a constant aching in my chest. His father and I are drifting apart. I am pulling away from him. He makes me feel invisible and unimportant. I just want to be with my son
—Guest Lucas's mum

Don't Even Know

I have nothing else to say to anyone. I am just the hollow shell of a human. And I am only 15. Tired, angry, lonely. Everyday at school I bare 6 and a half hours of the constant bombardment of people who don't even really like me that much try to talk to me and make conversation, but I have nothing left to say. After a while people give up. They give up trying to have a conversation. So now, I only get up to go to school and wait till I can go home and spend time in my room alone. Alone with myself and my thoughts. It's not a bright place to be. But suicide is a sin. If I kill myself now I'll only go to hell, which can probably only be described as the setting for Kneller's Happy Campers, except there's no happy ending. No smiles, no escape. Just the crap you put up with while you were alive. I'm only moving along just to make it through. Although, I don't have much hope I'll make it. Everyone in my life has just left, thinking I needed to be alone, but they have never been more wrong.
—Guest Kat Manassas

jaded.

I can't remember what it feels like to not be tired. It's been so long, building up as time passed over. Yet, it all went unheard as my mother was the focus of attention and, at the time, I was just a 'hormonal teenager with a disarray of emotions". No family saw my scars, no friends dared ask. As time went on and I got older, it only became worse, stretching out over long periods of uncontrollable sadness and hopeless, endless thought. I can't help but want to die. to hurt myself and everything inside. I keep it all buried and it's killing me. But what can I do? I've been silent all my life, grown accustomed to the solitude and not using my voice for days. and the sad thing is, I'm only nineteen. nineteen and jaded and tired and I don't want to do this anymore. don't want to live unhappily forever. yet, everything seems to work against me, so, maybe it's all a sign. if I could just get the courage down, maybe I'll get it right the fifth time...
—Guest Lamb

Alone

I have ADD and my dad most likely has ADHD cuz that's where the psycologists say I got it from. He won't get tested though so everytime I'm off my medicine and I twitch a little or swing my legs he yells at me. I'm scared of him and my mom has depression from him too. He threatened to kill her, and he kicks me out and asks me what is wrong with me when I ask him why he does what he does. Social workers told me to resolve, but that doesn't do anything. A few months ago we were fighting and my mom came in and said that kids with ADHD or ADD are likely to have depression, and he said to me that if I was going to suicide, I would have to do it outside the house. Ever since then I think every day about how he's probably right and that I'm just useless and a waste of money like he says I am. I've gotten to the point where I get into fights with him so that I can get hurt without doing it myself. I'm afraid to tell anyone or else they'll probably think I'm making it up,I feel so alon
—Guest Claire

Ruined my own life

I was my my ex for 2 and a half years i loved him with all my heart but he bassically used me for favours in the bedroom which make me feel like nothing and often drove me to cutting myself, i met this guy who i instantly fell for and plucked up the courage to leave my ex and now im trying with this new guy i just feel like pure rubbish... It isnt just that since about 3 years ago i have change dramatically its as if i cant actually be happy, im either crying, moaning or just being in a mood and my sisters all hate me, i cant even go see my mum because she isnt the same person since she started smoking dope and my dad has recently got married to a woman who has changed him... I have no where to go and i have no confidence in myself to actualky speak up and tell anyone how i feel and times like just now im arguing with my boyfriend and im pulling myself away which is only hurting us both which makes me feel guilty and want to hurt myself more for hurting him
—Guest Iknowineedhelo

Carousel

I say the right things. Everyone smiles. I'm optimistic. I love everyone. I start to drown. I don't know how. It just happens and I knew it would. When I'm happy Id suddenly die right there feeling loved and hopeful. When I'm happy I'm anxious and uncomfortable. I bring everything in my life down with apathy. By not having the energy to upkeep it. I just watch it all wilt and wait for consequences. People are alarmed with where I pick at my face, my lips. They tell me to slew regularly. Get a job. They have jobs after all, I know because no one has the time for me until they realize I'm sitting beside some part of my life in flames. They are furious and horrified; how could I let a situation go on so long? They'll help me. Because they love me. I feel optimistic. Things are going to be different. I start to drown silently.
—Guest She Was Serious

It feels like everything is like nothing

You feel so light and time passes so fast that you feel like nothing is significant enough to make you happy.
—Guest eddz99

i have a brain injury

i got a brain injury and life just suck's i cant do the things i used to. im digging myself a hole and want to get out i have allot of supports just dont listen to a damn tihng they say iv;e bin to the pysch ware a few times already its just worse in there what do i do
—Guest matthew
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