Readers Respond: What Do They Feel Like?

You are probably familiar with depression symptoms, such as a depressed mood and a loss of interest in activities that you previously enjoyed, but what does it really feel like to have depression?

One of the depression symptoms that really stood out for me was a feeling of heaviness in my body. I would sit down to play piano, which was something that had always given me a lot of joy, and it felt like I had weights attached to my arms, making a previously enjoyable activity feel like it was just too much effort.

What do your depression symptoms feel like to you?

NO LOVE PRODUCES DEPRESSION

SINCE MY WIFE PASSED AWAY AND I HAVE NO LOVE MY DEPRESSION IS VERY SEVERE. LOVE WAS THE ONLY ANTIDEPRESSANT THAT TRULY WORKED WHILE NO OTHER ANTIDEPRESSANT HAD EVER WORKED. I TRULY NEED SOMEONE OR ALL IS HOPELESS. THANKS FOR READING. IRWIN

—Guest IRWIN DRESNER

Its a pain to to be alive in this world.

I wake up everyday thinking that today is going to be wonderful day but it ends up in sadness. I have never been good in anything, studies, games, frens, u name it nothing. I am studying aboard, I try my best, I can't find a part time job, I try my best to study, don't get good marks. Now I don't even have enough money to eat. I don't really have frens, but frens who are with me, they rarely care. It just seems like I'm not fit for this world. Its like I am a defective piece that deserves to be thrown away. I feel like maybe I should have someone who can care for like fren or girl but the thing is don't really have frens and girls are interested in me. However there's one but she is from different country, its been 3 yrs chating with her, she comforts me but these days she is so busy that i don't even seem to find her online. I find her once a month or 2. I feel like dieing but i can't die cause I know I have my parents. I can't die and I don't wanna live. Its just too much.

—Guest metalaarif

endless

i was 15 when it started... sleeping endlessly not having the energy for anything. my mom thought i was just being a lazy teenager but the more she bothered me about it the more deeper i would slip into my deppression. i started loosing track of my days, weeks, months they all just blurred together. it felt like i lived in my bed just feeling so lonley and forgotten to the world...when my only friend throught this started bothering me about it i soon replaced my bed with alcohol and started partying ever night with my friend. that lasted a year then i realized i had to stop cause the more i drank the more i would have suicidal thoughts. when i turned 17 i was feeling much better stopped sleeping all the time got some energy back then all of a sudden things started looking shitty again to me dull, and bleech. Now im 18 still fighting my deppression and wondering why there is even a reason to live if you have to live like this i dont think this will ever end...

—Guest chelsea

I don't dream, I just suffer

I'm a qualified artist, I have a loving boyfriend and prospects of marriage, my family loves me deeply. Despite all this, over the years I have suffered deep, deep lows. The latest ended with my attempt on taking my life. I've been referred for psychological help finally, as they figured out 'sometimes' handing out tablets helped no one, me least of all. I feel nothing, absolutely dead inside - but I'll have brief moments where I cry and cry til my throat hurts. I sleep, and my dreams are dominated by dark thoughts and demons. I have no joy in my artwork, video games or even talking to my friends and family. I have stopped going outside, outside is filled with people staring at me - I can't speak to anyone, the anxiety in my chest strangles me and leaves me jittery and weeping. When I'm agitated, I've harmed myself with anything on hand, and I'm not allowed to handle my own medication atm. Severe depression is a curse, but one day I might escape it all... One day.

—Guest What Use Are Dreams?

Hope

Depression robs me of energy, memory, concentration, self esteem, smiles, confidence. I'm on medication, I've attended counseling, read so many books and online articles, exercise a minimum of 3 times per week, and focused on dietary changes to increase amino acid intake and vit/min supplementation. I have family and friend support. It is getting better. But it takes commitment and work and energy that isn't always easy. I focus on how I want to be and I keep optimistic that each small effort will collectively bring me wellness.

—Guest Jackie

I know how you feel

I feel the sane way I just lost all interest in things and I really can't figure out why I'm feeling so depressed but I'm trying to search inside me

—Guest Josh

scared

im only 15 and im scared..my bestfriends hate me and are now bestfriends with the girls that bully me..my life has shattered..i lost them to depression..i want to die..God put me on this earth to suffer and he has suceeded...i push away the people that are closet to me..before they push me away first...i hurt them before they hurt me..im a disgrace i should never of been born..i just want someone to understand?

—Guest holly

Life has no meaning for me.

I was born in a middle class family. During my teen years my dad's business broke down. He attempted suicide by swallowing pills after a quarrel with my mom and me at home. He survived in hospital. People began to harass me and my family as we were unable to pay back the debts. We moved to another town and then depression made home inside me. My college years were a hell. I tried to calm myself by doing some exercises. I passed graduation but failed in the second year of my postgraduation. Then I went to do a job as an office assisstant in a mfg. company(All the time I was fighting with depression). After 2 months I caught TB. Left job, 1 yr. did nothing. After recovering got another job, worked hard, got nice paid. After 2 and half years lost job because of high depression. Unemployed till date. Never had a girlfreind, never had sex or kissed a girl, unmarried, unemployed with no hope for future. Mind is full of darkness. Hope I had a girlfreind who would love me,

—Guest Iamnoone

Empty, tired

It feels like being tired all the time. Waking up at 11 am on a weekend only to want to go back to sleep at 5pm. It feels like coasting, forcing yourself to get by and to interact with 'friends' at school whom you don't even really like that much. Nothing you do satisfies you. I do not feel suicidal in the least, because I know I have something to live for. But everything I do is without emotional attachment, apathy, and I am tired. Tired of feeling this way all the time.

—Guest Hannah

Dont know what to do, I feel lost

I am 14 years old and feel sad all the time. I Just got cyber bullied last year and attempted suicide because of it. My family is disfunctional and my mom and dad always fight. They are also abusive and got caught one of the times. they mentally abuse and sometimes physically, im verbally abused too. They didnt do crap about it. But after i got cyber bullied i made alot of friends think god. But the girl that made the scyber bullying start was like my sister from 4th to 7th.. so i NEVER expected it. Everyone in my house hates me and blames me for everthing and noone gets the hints i give out that I NEED HELP.I Have noone to talk to about this so Im typing it on here. That just shows i need someone to help me.

—Guest girl with a broken smile

Wishing I could be anyone but me

I use to be the life of the party. Loud, boisterous and funny. I even had somebody ask me if I considered stand-up comedy as a profession. I have 3 incredibly talented kids and a husband who says all the time how much he loves me. But I just can't get out of this black hole. Like one of the other writers, I am screaming at the bottom but no one stops. From the outside, it looks like I have a happy life. But I don't. My husband is always mad and frustrated about something. Anything. And I spend most every day trying to calm him down. I want out of the marriage but don't think I can hold a job because of how depressed and scared I feel all the time. And I am afraid my kids will turn against me if I end the marriage. Or everyone we know for that matter. I am just the crazy, moody wife and everyone just adores my husband. Nobody knows how he really acts. Or how it affects me. I just want to be normal. I want to be the life of the party again.

—Guest Jewls

depression, anxiety, PTSD & I'm BiPolar

I have been very depressed for about a couple of months now. I am not living near my children & grandchildren or parents. I feel completely "out" of it, very heavy, dizzy, sad, cry all the time & don't know why. I have been on meds now for about 10 years. I have no appetite nor do I feel like "working out" and/or speed walking. It is just to much. I am seeing my physician tomorrow morning and pray I get some info., thank you....

—Guest Liz Stites

Strong Tension in Neck

Sometimes I just felt like I have no liveliness anymore. And my symptoms are closely related to post-traumatic stress. From time to time, there is a sharp pain that feels like a dagger/hilt stabbing my neck and ripping the muscles in there. And my whole head feels so tense in the process as well as the heaviness that comes with it. It is a lot of hurt and pain. Psychologically there is no kill and I wouldn't know what the cure is. It's the fact that there is no cure that is scary. You never know when this situation is going to end. You know the low mood time is coming but you don't know how you are going to get through it. I felt as if my mental energy is so low that I wanted to suicide. And felt that I can't carry on anymore. I'm close to the tipping point where my body might dramatically react to the mental pain/exhaustion with nausea and I might vomit. But fear is keeping me from doing that to my body. Again and again, the fear grows when I'm close to the tipping point!!

—Guest Ted

paranoia?

I can't tell if i'm just paranoid and being a stupid girl, but I feel like everyone dislikes me. This gets worse at the same time every year. I've destroyed past relationships because of the way i'm feeling and i think its happening again. I don't like who I am, even though i cant pinpoint exact reasons, and i assume everyone else feels the same. I assume they can see me for how i feel, like some black hole of evil thats sucking the life out of everything. Tiny things that people say and do set me off thinking these things. I dont know what to do. Sometimes I dont leave my room for days because i disgust myself so much and feel like an infliction on people i might meet on the outside. I'm almost 23 years old, studying a course that interests me, i have a boyfriend that (says he) loves me. I thought that these sorts of feelings were reserved for my teen angst but they arent going away.

—Guest sad

cant get out of this black hole

I just turned 69. I am in good health,but I feel very depressed. I had a three year relationship which ended because of depression and drinking wine to try not to feel. Sometimes I think I am crazy and I will never get better. I take lexapro and it seems to help at times. I dont drink at all. It only makes me feel worse. I have panic attacks and have become afraid to leave my house. I am a mess. any suggestions? I am gay and have had three serious relationships. No one would want me the way I am now. I dont even like myself. Help

—Guest tom f