Am I SERIOUSLY depressed?
- I strongly feel as though that I am depressed, honestly. My reasoning for this is because in my personal situation that is my life, I am forced in a place where I do not want to be. You see I am 15 years old, a freshman in high school beginning all over agian in a whole new county, new school, new town, new system... new people. And starting this whole process of introducing myself to this new location is alot more difficult than I ever imagined it to be! I feel like nobody understands me, has any idea who I actually am, or what I'm about. Living at this new school is challanging every single day because I'm having to try so hard to be friends with somebody so that I'm not sitting alone at a lunch table. That is one thing I never could stand was being alone, and now I have never felt as alone as I do to this current day. So, the next time you get a new student, befriend them and help 'em out. Remember how would you wanna be treated if you were new to an area?
- —Guest Sam-I-Am
The Fight Against Depression
- With or without medication, if you want to defeat depresseion you need to be intellectually capable of doing so. I mean put yourself in the right state of mind. When you are hurting so bad that you lack any kind of hope or motivation, you kind of have to force yourself to go ride your bike, or walk to the park with your best friend. if you go on medication and you aren't willing to fight, it won't help you. medication might help a little but its YOU who determines where you get in life. i was in this horrible slump for the longest time and YES those feelings of desolation and sadness come back but i am prepared to deal with them and get through them everytime they come to me. thats what you have to do.
- —Guest Dannie
am i just over reacting?
- im 15 years old, my mum had breast cancer for 7 years and in august 2010 past away. i don't know if i am depressed because i don't understand exactly how i feel. but i feel lost, hurt, betrayed by so many people. not that they have done anything just that im not happy. i cry allot, and i suffer allot. my dad never worked it was always mum so now myself and my 18 year old brother are stuck living a very unfamiliar life style. which i cant complain allot of others have lives worse than mine. i just really need to know if i am depressed, and if i am if i should take medication or just see a counsellor i have seen one before a few occasions but nothing serious. i just don't understand why i feel like this. i have thought many times about ending my life then haven't because i think how life isn't bad. but i have hurt my self seriously many times! im worried for myself and those i love around me, please help me.. anyone :(
- —Guest anonoymous
what?
- Im am terrified to tell people that i'm not happy. I seam to wake up in the morning and have a smile glued to my face that everyone believes. Life is going by and i have to pretend that i feel happy or sad when i don't care. everything is becoming a blur lately i'v been finding myself crying and not knowing how or why? I'v self harmed on and of from high school wishing that the scars would disappear yet wanting to continue. I don't know if i am depressed or being a baby or what? i'm just confused and i don't want to make a fuss.
- —Guest kitten
Depression doesn't go away that easily
- The first time I realized I was depressed was when I was 14. I couldn't sleep well, I couldn't eat, I couldn't open up to people about what I was going through. Ironically, people would tell you that I am the happiest person they've ever met. Not a day went by that I didn't smile at people, laugh with them, and make jokes. Looking back, I realized how much of myself I've hid away from public eye as well as how GREAT I was at hiding my sadness and loneliness. I still am. I picked myself up after several years, conditioning my brain to think that nobody else is gonna help me but myself. I kept up the happy facade and tried to convince myself that I was really truly happy. It worked at first, but recently, all those negative emotions have been coming back. I can't stand my self. I feel guilty all of the time, I don't know why. I feel angry at everybody, most especially myself. I feel tired of life in general. I thought I was cured! I thought I was FREE! Never thought it would come back. :
- —Guest Jamie
Am I depressed?
- From an early age my mother used to tell me that I could never amount to anything. That has stuck with me for the past fourteen years of my life. I’ve done some research of “clinical depression,” taken some tests, that sort of thing, and always gotten the result of “moderate depression.” I don’t see life as a horrible hell. I see it as a storybook to which I can indulge my senses in. I have had suicidal thoughts. I can’t tell you the number of times I’d stand alone in my kitchen as a four-year-old girl staring down at the knife. Like it was my only friend in the world. Yes, whenever I touch the cool handle of a knife in my palm, I feel myself recoil. That this kitchen aid creation is what can free me from this God forsaken book I’ve been trapped in. That those colorful pages that had lured me in were, in reality, just lies. The world doesn’t want me here, and quite frankly, I don’t want to exist in it either.
- —Guest imnotsure
How I knew?
- I didn't ever come from a "happy" home. And every time I fight with my family, I get the urge to take a knife and stab myself. I know I wasn't depressed when I was 15. Then, I could take on the world. But life got harder and harder, and now I'm reduced to half of what I was. Now homework and studying is too much to handle. Anything but sleep is. I guess it all started with the migraines. They were terrible, and I started getting them more frequently and they lasted longer. I was told by different doctors that I either had cancer or I was making it up. And my classmates made fun of me the whole time for missing school. We are in college now and they still joke about it. But they don't know what I lived with all through high school, and that I just wanted to die then and there and not as the result of cancer or its treatment. I was screened and don't have it now, and I don't want to kill myself so much, but still, every day is so agonizing. Why is life easy for everyone around me?
- —Guest Amanda
i think am depressed........!
- i think this started when i was 13.My father died when i was thirteen,he left behind me and nine others,including my mom makes ten.Am the youngest my other sister is two years older than i.All the rest are nuh men and women.My mom wasnt working,she never worked a day in her life,my father was 27yrs old she was 15 and her marridge wasnt one of those happy ones.She stated with my father until he died so much years they beeb together ,he cheated,he lied,he drank,smoked,he mistreated my mom...........,left her heartbroken and confused.My mom wasnt her self anymore.She didnt talk,didnt eat,she just stair at you.She was not the same.My older brother always tried with her tried combing her hair,encouraging her to take a bath to eat,while my older sisters stayed away............,too much pride after all my mom did for them theyjust turn away! My brother died,he joined the police force,he was innocently walking to work one night and the got him in the head........FOR NO REASON!!!!! That got to Mom even worse!And i never one day blame her,its not her fault.I imagine she was thinking something like why?arnt i living the right way all my life i lived for God,where have i gone wrong.She needed answers,it was too much.I lived with both older sisters both i dont have a good relationship with.Their dominating.If they help you,they can ask you to do anything and you must you cant object,so thats what am programmed with. All theese things added on the shits am experiencing now.I alwayz feel guilt,like am not doing enough or im not being kind enough,; or am not working hard enough.I feel obligated.Im always thinking,cant hold a conversation for too long, dont date because i feel am not worthy to be happy.Am always week or loggy.I eat a lot yet i losse five lbs,i sleep alot.Im never in the mood or up to anything.Am scared this is not me!
- —nolove91
To Tina
- Your assistant principal should have done more for you -almost in fact legally. Some people are completely clueless!! ...One thing you need to know, and I remembered hearing this on the radio, is that especially if you are a teenager, if you get help early on you can in fact significantly stop things from potentially getting more out of control when you are older. Best case scenario, if things did not get (much) worse later, you will just get proper help for what you're going through -and it DOES matter. And speaking as a person who put up with depression and anxiety for more than a decade: I WISH I had gone to a doctor about it all those years ago. I really, really do. -For me I took even just one course of antidepressants and all the crap I went through dropped away -along with the stupid shame I felt and (I believe) was made to feel by people who barely know anything on the subject.
- —Guest Lizzie
Don't know where to turn
- My depression started when I was a child, I've finally figured that out after about 40 years. My father died when I was 5, my mother became a single parent in the "60's, not common and my older brother, 15 years older, was in the navy at the time. I grew up feeling like a burden for my mom since she all of the sudden had to go to work, find a babysitter for me etc. As I went thru high school I was called ugly, ridiculed told I was so ugly the only way I would ever have kids is if I was raped. Then as I grew and met guys I picked the wrong ones. They were usually the dependant kind. Got married had 2 kids, he didn't want to be responsible so we got divorced now I'm married again saying that would never happen again and here it is. I'm so far in debt, cause this one doesn't want to be the "man" of the family either. I needed to find a strong, fatherly type, instead I got stuck with the dependant kind. I'm turning 50 this year and there is no light at the end of the tunnel.
- —lifebefore
Am I?
- I long for the day all this will end, darkness claims me, I go to sleep and don’t wake up. Oblivion where art thou? I was recently asked when was the last time you were happy? The truth is I really can’t remember it’s been that long. I can’t even remember if I was happy as a child. Every now and then there have been little happy moments, but they don’t last long, life tends to find other things to throw at me and bring me back down into my deep, dark depression. There is always something to perpetuate this suffering - be it strained relationships with family, financial worries or just the grind of my current employment. I feel lethargic and have no motivation myself to do much of anything. My sleeping pattern is ok but during the day, I just seem to start to lose concentration or even start to fall asleep sometimes. Self esteem and self confidence have hit an all time low. I try to avoid dealings with other people as much as possible. Nights out would generally end with me sitting
- —Guest fraz
help
- when i was 16 years old i started college i got bullied for no reasons i guess its because i looked vulnerable which made me a easy target to pick on. i had friends but when i was getting bullied they just stood there and said nothing i felt hurt and confused. i lasted 3 months at college then i quit and started at a training centre i feel more comfortable here as there is less people in our setting. i do feel depressed as i dont think i have fully recovered from the bullying. i also stay at home alot as its where i feel safe.
- —Guest stay strong
losing myself.
- I don't know what has been going on with me lately! I was such a happy person, being 14. I felt as if i had everything. Until i woke up and my world came crashing down, I cant stop cutting myself, its become a habit. :s I went to the assistand principal at school, she suggests i tell Mum, But i know she will just think im trying to get attention.. I dont know! Maybe thats it. But these cuts are hurting, and i dont know what to do, I've told my friend, she's kind of going through the same thing.. But she doesnt hurt herself like me. Am i just being a normal hormonal teenager? Do i have bipolar? What am i? what do i have? what can i do? Help me. :(
- —Guest tina
help
- at times i feel so withdrawn and dont want to be bother,my kids as a single parent i think they play a major role in and as for the way i feel due to the fact of being a single parent, and my kids has put me in some not so ood moods. i've been threw all trails and tribulations and at times it seems to have an effect on me ,i cant even think nor do i feel in the mood to be around them its to the point as to were i cant even hold a full time job due to their daily activity of irritation that they seem to cause upon me. and i feel so hopeless, and helpless that there days that i just want to say f---k it and leave it ,and them all behind and it seems as its be again to become on stronger and worst day by day ,and i feel that its nothing that i could do about it be just be driving crazy, and go nuts.
- —Guest no hope
trying to find me bk
- i have notice changes in me but jus couldnt put my finger on it, but when i notice and bein snappy,arrugementive,withdrawn and not caring much then for sure i know i needed help. but its a just a lot of things i know i havent deal with from my pass and i just need to sit with the right people and talk ..i get there in the end i know i will by the grace of god
- —Guest hillary
